Friday Fight: Demi Moore: Who Twitters The Twittermen?

By Lindsay Robertson / April 3, 2009

gabe: demi moore saved a woman’s life using twitter
gabe: “saved”
gabe: obviously, i am glad that woman is OK
gabe: but i hope that when she is being examined by psychologists
gabe: in the hospital
gabe: that they get to the root of why she turned to demi moore in her hour of need
lindsay: demi moore is not who I would turn to.
lindsay: she could have turned to diddy
gabe: demi moore isn’t even who demi moore’s kids would turn to
lindsay: or lily allen
lindsay: there are a multitude of twitter celebrities should could have turned to

gabe: yeah, i would totally turn to diddy
lindsay: diddy cares
gabe: he does
lindsay: the weird thing is that demi and ashton are publicizing it
gabe: i would be concerned that if i twittered demi moore
gabe: in my hour of need
lindsay: when there’s no reason to
gabe: ashton would somehow be logged into her account
lindsay: just call the police and be quiet about it
gabe: so i would be inadvertently turning to ashton in my hour of need
lindsay: they also made it sound like it was random, like this woman wasn’t targeting demi moore.
gabe: right
gabe: it just happened
gabe: the magic of technology
gabe: bringing people together
gabe: with demi moore
gabe: bringing sad people together with demi moore
gabe: that is Twitter’s motto
lindsay: like remember when tom cruise saved that person on that boat?
lindsay: that was random
lindsay: he wasn’t like “hey, it’s tom cruise, I’m going to capsize and see what he does!”
gabe: they seem like such jerks to me
gabe: that this makes them seem like worse jerks
lindsay: they live in a bubble
lindsay: I mean, duh
gabe: even though they supposedly saved a woman’s life
lindsay: but you or I might be just as bad
gabe: what?
gabe: if someone twitters me their suicide i will save them
gabe: and i will not even blog about it
lindsay: I just mean in general, we might be just as bad if we were famous or whatever they are
lindsay: I guess they’re famous.
gabe: no way
lindsay: but yeah, don’t broadcast it to the world demi moore
gabe: no amount of fame
gabe: could make me marry demi moore
lindsay: other people called the police too
lindsay: regular people
gabe: JUST AS THE EASIEST EXAMPLE
gabe: i like when demi moore twittered
gabe: that people should stop calling the police
gabe: because everything was under control
gabe: relax, demi moore
gabe: you’ve done your part
lindsay: Demi Moore has this one
lindsay: She’s on it
gabe: then again, to be fair to demi moore
gabe: i am really glad that it was actually her
gabe: this story would be so much sadder
gabe: if it was one of those fake celebrity twitters
gabe: that a suicidal woman reached out to
gabe: “help me, @mischa_barton

lindsay: hahahaha
lindsay: what if she reached out to someone really terrible
lindsay: like perez hilton
gabe: @joefrancis
gabe: how many people have died by their own hand under perez hilton’s twitter watch?
lindsay: sometimes I go to a person’s twitter page and all it is is them replying to famous people’s twitters. it’s sad.
lindsay: hahahahahah
lindsay: twittter watch
lindsay: each celebrity has to sign up
lindsay: for an hour a day
gabe: for the sake of the rest of us
gabe: we will twitter save us
gabe: and they will look up and twitter “no”
lindsay: demi moore should work for a suicide hotline
lindsay: “Life is worth living!”
gabe: she should work for a suicide message board
lindsay: “wait, is this…demi moore?”
lindsay: “oh my god! demi moore!”
gabe: “don’t do it — sent from my blackberry”
gabe: gross
gabe: i just went back to re-read the tory
gabe: and this is how it ends, on AP:
gabe: “Kutcher is one of a number of celebrities who use Twitter and one of its most active users. More than 677,000 people have signed on to receive his updates. Moore has around 383,500 followers.”
gabe: perfect
gabe: i am glad that made it’s way into the story
lindsay: I’m sure radaronline is trying to find the woman to get her to write a blog
gabe: the only thing worse than that
lindsay: she’s the new octomom
gabe: would have been to report on how many followers the woman who claimed she was going to kill herself had
lindsay: now EVERYONE is going to be threatening suicide at demi moore
lindsay: no followers
gabe: you know what
gabe: http://twitter.com/sandieguy
gabe: something tells me
gabe: she did not have 587 followers yesterday
gabe: excuse me
lindsay: oh man
lindsay: my first time reading this
gabe: but i have to go twitter my own suicide now

lindsay: um
lindsay: Going to be watching survivor soon…about 19 hours ago from web
lindsay: oh man
lindsay: don’t read this
gabe: i was reading it for awhile
gabe: but i stopped
gabe: because i killed myself
lindsay: ok
lindsay: if you did have an emotional crisis
lindsay: who would you turn to on twitter?
gabe: my first instinct is to say @iamdiddy

gabe: but i’m not actually sure about that
gabe: i feel like he wouldn’t put in the work
gabe: it would just be “you got to look 2 god let’s go y’all! only you can make this day great”
lindsay: I don’t really believe diddy cares about anyone but diddy.
gabe: i just think his platitudes would be useless if i was about to suicide myself
lindsay: diddy is probably jealous right now.
lindsay: “Why couldn’t it be me?”
gabe: no way
gabe: diddy may be self-centered and kind of retarded, but he’s not a monster
gabe: besides, he’s all about positivity in 2009
gabe: positivity and fried chicken taste tests
gabe: i would probably turn to @diablocody

gabe: i feel like my e-cry for iHelp
gabe: would appeal to her
gabe: she would think it was blogtastic
lindsay: Actually you’re going to hate this but I think she would probably sincerely care.
gabe: no, i do too
lindsay: She’s supposed to be a good person.
lindsay: hahaha
lindsay: “she’s supposed to be”
lindsay: “my sources tell me”
gabe: i’m looking for someone to help me, not write me a decent screenplay
gabe: so she would be fine at this
lindsay: she might throw in a free “ironic” lapdance!
gabe: she would send the Femtourage to my rescue
gabe: you would be like
gabe: “why isn’t @paul_rudd_and_jason_segel’s_baby hearing my cry for help?”
lindsay: hahahahaha
gabe: and then you would be dead.