Ashley Judd Just Found Out That Sarah Palin Collects Severed Wolf Forelegs
And boy, is she mad:
I’m so glad that Ashley Judd has come out of hiding to keep awareness of this atrocity alive, because Severed Wolf ForelegGate ™ is my favorite Sarah Palin-related scandal. Aside from the obvious cruelty of aerial wolf hunting, in the months since we learned that Sarah Palin is paying Alaskans $150 for every severed wolf foreleg they turn in, EVEN MORE QUESTIONS have arisen about the logistics of this scheme, like:
1. Where do you keep your forelegs before turning (mailing?) them in? In your freezer?
2. Has anyone accidentally had a humorous barbeque mixup where they accidentally throw severed wolf forelegs on the grill? Or even just said to a guest “Oh not that, that’s not for the grill. That’s my severed wolf foreleg what Sarah Palin’s gonna pay me a hundred and fifty bucks for.”
3. Are people who have just been on an aerial wolf hunting trip in danger of having their valuable forelegs stolen from their home by thieves? Do they take shifts guarding their freezers with guns?
4. Is it both forelegs, or just the right or left?
5. And again: WHAT ABOUT THE HUSKIES? Surely their forelegs are now in danger. Someone, please think of the huskies (and the wolves.)
Surely, more questions about Sarah Palin’s absurd government program will come to light. We must keep Severed Wolf ForelegGate ™ alive, at least until 2012.