Puppy Bowl V: Matilda Was Not Robbed

For the first time in Puppy Bowl history, the correct dog was awarded Most Valuable Puppy. I mean, Matilda crushed it yesterday, just as I had predicted that she would. It was hardly even a contest. Three touchdowns in a single play? PLUS being the CUTEST THING ON EARTH? Matilda is basically the Michael Phelps of dog football. There have been some great pups in Puppy Bowls past, don’t get me wrong, but this was the first year that I felt the judges really made the right decision. There was no repeat of the Puppy Bowl III fiasco in which Bomber was named MVP over Jackson and half of Puppytown burned.

So perhaps Matilda’s greatest victory was her reassertion of Puppy Bowl legitimacy. Even if the judges go back to business as usual next year and name a stupid worthless puppy as MVP when obviously much cuter and more exceptional puppies are outperforming them on the field, we will always be able to remember Matilda’s victory, and the reminder that meritocratic puppy success CAN exist.

But the moment everyone is talking about, of course, was the puppy streaker:

Don’t look! I’m surprised there was not tighter security. It’s as if any puppy can just wander out onto the field.

Of course, Matilda could not have achieved her historic victory alone. I think it’s important that we recognize the exceptionally cute and dominating point earner Eli.

But the real break-out star in yesterday’s game has to be Schroeder.

His defensive napping cleared the way for Matilda’s blitz, but more importantly, cleared the way to my heart. Schroeder forever, six.