Last night’s season 5 premiere episode of Lost killed it! I think! It’s hard to tell! We are obviously getting into deep mindfuck territory (Deep Mindfuck Territory is my fourth album, it’s conceptual), although I will say that it’s finally starting to feel like the writers might at least have the tiniest idea of what they’re doing. If only because this show is so dangerously close to becoming entirely unwatchable that any lazy slip-ups and America will quickly abandon Lost for an old episode of Wipe Out! on DVR. Good old Wipe Out! Even if Sheryl makes it passed the Boxing Wall, she’s sure to bounce off the Big Balls into some mud!
In any case, this show is impossible to recap, at least for me. To recap something you have to UNDERSTAND it. If you want some kind of minute-by-minute commentary, you can check out Sasha Frere-Jones’s liveblog, and my guess is that Dan Hopper over at Best Week Ever will be doing a thorough and nerd-pleasing recap at some point today. The man is like a Lost Mystery Bible. We don’t usually like to outsource like that, but there is a reason outsourcing exists: cheap.
But there is one mystery that I feel confident Videogum will be the only site to comprehensively address (sorry Lostpedia). WHAT’S IN THE SANDWICH?!
When Hurley brings a drug-bullet-addled Sayid to his parents’ mansion after Ghost Anna-Lucia told him to find someone he trusted, his father, Cheech Marin, is just about to start eating his lunch, which consists of a sandwich, some grapes, and chips. But WHAT’S IN THE SANDWICH?
Now, there are a few things that we know are in the sandwich:
Classic caviar and salami sandwich, basically. You know, lunch. Now, you’ll notice in the lower right hand shot with the caviar, A SLICED TOMATO! You guys have to pay attention to the details on this show or you’re never going to understand what’s happening. For example, did you know there was CHEESE on the sandwich? Well, there is:
OK, so we’ve established that there is tomato and cheese on the sandwich. Big deal. Anyone with a DVR, Quicktime Pro, and a few hours on their hands could figure that out. But here’s a question for you: no condiments? On a sandwich?! Aha, well that’s where things get interesting. Because when Cheech Marin goes to pick up the jar of caviar, you can see in the background a blurry bottle of what appears to be….
Don’t believe me? OPEN YOUR EYES, SHEEPLE.
There was mayonnaise on that sandwich all along. There are only 33 episodes left, you need to PAY ATTENTION.