It’s true that there’s something magical about sitting around a living room with loved ones, with a roaring fire and a cup of hot chocolate, as snow falls outside and Vince Guaraldi’s charming soundtrack to A Charlie Brown Christmas Special plays on the phonograph. Even without watching the actual show, you can conjure up the warm, golden nostalgia of holidays past. Even Jews listen to the Vince Guaraldi’s soundtrack for A Charlie Brown Christmas this time of year. Classic.
But nothing really says “Christmas in your face,” like season 1 episode 18 of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, in which the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future takes Carl back in time to revisit 1968. It really warms the cockles of the heart. Unless, like me, you’ve had the cockles of your heart removed because they sounded too gross. Cockles of the heart joke, guys. I’ll be opening for Paula Poundstone at the Comedy Factory all week.
“I remember eating carpet.” You don’t get double-entendres like that from Charles Schulz (R.I.P.), for whom a football is just a football. What? Happy holidays.