Mary Kate Olsen Hates Having To Go To Jail
This news has been bothering me all day. Wherever my craw is, that’s where it’s stuck. From the New York Post:
Pint-size actress Mary-Kate Olsen has refused to be interviewed by federal investigators probing the accidental drug death of her close friend Heath Ledger unless she receives immunity from prosecution, The Post has learned.
[Mary Kate Olsen]‘s lawyer has repeatedly rebuffed attempts by the feds to question Olsen, who was the first person called after her masseuse discovered Ledger’s body in his SoHo apartment in January. Frustrated federal officials could obtain a grand-jury subpoena to compel the funky “Full House” actress to tell them whatever she knows about the “Dark Knight” star’s behavior, his possible drug use and the events of that fateful morning, according to sources.
Admittedly, I didn’t go to law school. But I have watched over four hours of Law & Order: Sexy Victims Unit, so I basically know everything about our legal system, and I’m quite certain that this proves that Mary Kate Olsen murdered Heath Ledger. Right? No, that’s right. I solved it. Send her to Superjail. I rest my case.