Please Let Jeff Goldblum Play A Drunk On Law And Order: Criminal Intent

Jeff Goldblum is joining the cast of Law And Order: The One Where They Read Minds, I Think:

Jeff is one of the most exciting actors around and is a perfect addition to the ‘Law & Order: Criminal Intent’ ensemble. We are very excited to see what new moves he will bring to the Major Case Squad

I think I know what moves Jeff Goldblum is going to bring to the Major Case Squad: slow slurry drunken moves. Please please Dick Wolf, I’ve never asked you for anything, but in honor of the internet, can you make Jeff’s character a slurry drunk guy?:

I could watch Drunk Jeff Goldblum for hours. He also likes the peach pie (and all food):

Think about it Dick Wolf. This could be your The Wire.