After the Real Housewives of New York reunion episode redefined what a reunion episode could be, it’s hard not to watch what is generally considered the saddest of sadnesses. Getting the contestants back together to pull each other’s weaves out is usually just a sad attempt by the network to eke one final hour of advertising dollars out of a show that has painfully run its course. But seriously, Real Housewives nailed it in a way that didn’t seem possible, so now I have to watch all this shit in the hopes that lightning will strike Alex McCord in the stupid face twice. (I guess I’m just hoping that every reunion episode features Alex McCord. She’s the best (worst).)
So last night’s Flavor of Love reunion promised to try and up the ante with a surprise wedding proposal. Meh. I’m pretty sure we don’t need to viking-coronate Flavor Flav for proposing to the bedraggled mother of his child after THREE SEASONS of throwing this show in her face. What a hero! That guy is making the rest of us look bad (great). Oh man, and if you thought that the girls on this show seemed like Class A Morons with the papers to prove it, you should see them WITHOUT the benefit of a cruel production team hired to make them look like fools. It turns out Animaniacs sound effects and copious amounts of free liquor make them look LIKE THEY WENT TO COLLEGE and MAJORED IN INTELLIGENCE compared to when they have to get up on stage and deliver complete sentences on their own without the benefit of an underpaid editor splicing their shit together.
But what really surprised me was getting a glimpse at just who the “fans” of this show are.
It’s like that time you went to that party and all your ex-boyfriends were there and you were like “fuuuuuck.”
If you care (you don’t care), here is Flavor Flav’s saddest proposal to the saddest woman in sadtown on VHSad.
I like when she says “finally” but you can’t hear it because everyone is screaming. It reminds me of the time that I killed myself.