James Cameron Is Proof That The World Is Ending
Look, I enjoyed Avatar, but I know that it was a ham-fisted sci-fi adventure movie about Pocahantas aliens with magic sex ponytails directed by a mildly misogynistic ego-maniac with Fraggle Rock hair and an ego made from pure unobtanium. But tell that to the UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT. From Reuters (via /Film):
“Titanic” director and deep sea explorer James Cameron took part in a brainstorming session with scientists, academics and Washington officials on Tuesday on how to contain the six week-old oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, environmental sources said.
U.S. agency officials said Tuesday’s meeting was “part of the federal government’s ongoing efforts to hear from stakeholders, scientists and experts from academia, government and the private sector as we continue to respond to the BP oil spill.”
Fuck. Fuck it.The government is inviting James Cameron to workshop his ideas on how to stop the Gulf Coast oil spill? You know what that means, right? We’re fucked. Boys, if you could play us out that would be great. I mean, I know that James Cameron has the world’s most extensive collection of Titanic figurines, and that one time he wore a fanny-pack to Brazil so that he could hug the jungle back together, but I am pretty sure that if the nation’s leading Actual Ocean Scientists and Trained For Real Oil Spill Disaster Relief Experts are running so thin on ideas that we are inviting “the dude who made Abyss” into the chambers of power to try and, you know, mix it up, I for one am saying goodbye to my loved ones and climbing onto the roof of my building with a life-preserver around my neck and a gun with one bullet in the chamber tucked into the waistband of my HAZMAT suit. Goodnight, nurse!