The pop singer and his longtime lover Kenny Goss are now “reassessing their relationship” since news of Michael’s recent hit sex scandal (his first since ’98!).

The best part about George Michael’s mutual fondling with some dude lurking in the bushes in Hampstead Heath? He’s unemployed, 58-year-old Norman Kirtland, and he says ridiculous things.

“I didn’t see who it was. He looked kind of dark and I said to him: You’re not English, are you?”

Nice pick up line.

The Sun claims Kirtland wears “untrendy shorts” and lives in “squalid Brighton flat with a 20-year-old cat.” (Only The Sun would criticize a pet for being old.)

“I don?t even like George Michael?s music,” Kirtland admitted. “I?m not a fan. I prefer soul music myself. I never liked Wham! or any of his stuff.”

How do you not like Wham!? They were whamtastic!

At least George has graduated from public restrooms.

Comments (15)
  1. Max Imam  |   Posted on Jul 25th, 2006 0

    OF = OFF

  2. Rip Tatermen  |   Posted on Jul 25th, 2006 0

    Here is a germane webcomic, spat out by my RSSticker while I read this post. http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=07252006

  3. Josh  |   Posted on Jul 25th, 2006 0

    Who cares what the Sun says, those are the trendiest shorts I’ve ever seen.

  4. collin  |   Posted on Jul 25th, 2006 0

    oh come on youve never ragged on a cat for being old?

  5. > oh come on youve never ragged on a cat for
    > being old?

    I actually laughed out loud.

  6. mathamatic  |   Posted on Jul 25th, 2006 0

    actually the hierarchy of anonymous gay cruising goes:

    bushes

    then:

    bathrooms

    followed of course by:

    bridges

    and finally :

    boiler rooms(strangers with candy anyone?)

  7. Do the Jitterbug  |   Posted on Jul 25th, 2006 0

    Yay! Wham! My favorite part of that song is, “I don’t even think… that I LOVE YOU!” Bah da da da dahhhhh…

  8. Do the Jitterbug  |   Posted on Jul 25th, 2006 0

    Yay! Wham! My favorite part of that song is, “I don’t even think… that I LOVE YOU!” Bah da da da dahhhhh…

  9. Blimpy McFlah  |   Posted on Jul 25th, 2006 0

    the sun described the chap in the bushes like this:

    “Gay dogger Kirtland, who lives in a squalid Brighton flat with a 20-year-old cat, insisted he did not know at first he was with a megastar.”

    could be talking about pete doherty too, no?

  10. matt  |   Posted on Jul 25th, 2006 0

    wait a minute:
    george michael’s gay?

  11. None of this would have happened if Britain had the good sense to re-illegalize gay marriages, like the US. (Granted, in America gay marriage was never legal to being with, but it’s important that we make it extra, super-illegal).

    Think of all the heterosexual British unions that were ruined by George Michael’s homosexual philandering.

  12. How did you know that was my favorite track on Make It Big?!

  13. Oh, Wham, how I love thee. I definitely don’t have a fake Wham tribute page on my website. Totally do not.

  14. Yeah, that Wham! track is too perfect. So quintessentially 80s, yet so underrated to this DAY!

  15. Memememe  |   Posted on Jul 26th, 2006 0

    George, we’re through! Where’s my 1-million-quid present?

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