A truly WTF find from Pitchfork

Lullayby renditions of songs from: Nirvana, No Doubt, Pink Floyd, Queens Of The Stone Age, Smashing Pumpkins, Björk, The Cure, Led Zeppelin, Metallica, Beach Boys, Eagles, Beatles, and Tool. (What, no Sufjan?)

The Coldplay, Metallica, and Radiohead pages have sound samples.

The site says: “Do you really want your baby listening to Tool? Hell, yes!” Well, not if you’re gonna leave off “Stinkfist”!

The album covers are cute, though.

Who can help me think of a better title for this blog entry? The best one gets the Baby Rock record of their choice. I promise this isn’t one of those contests I forget about ’cause all the responses are lame. I’m convinced you are all too clever to fuck up this golden opportunity. I will pick a winner TODAY at 5 PM EST and have it shipped to you. Then you will have to find a baby, make him/her listen to it, and report back to us.

Comments (68)
  1. AJB  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    What about “Baby Rammstein”?

  2. man. I suck at this. what about the Zwan song “Baby, Let’s Rock!”? No? I didn’t think so…

  3. K Prime  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    Baby Bopz

  4. Alex  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    How about simply “Cradle Of Filth”?

  5. god  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    this is actually really good. I thought it would be some crappy shit like strings for Radiohead but these songs are actually well composed.

  6. kiteless  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    elbow deep inside bedtime

    or

    This may hurt a little but it’s something you can sleep to

    both from the aforementioned track ‘stinkfist’

  7. Elton  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    paranoid android sounded pretty good as a lullaby. this is silly.

  8. Norville  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    The Coldplay and Radiohead sound really great, but the Metallica still sounds more suited to a haunted house than a baby’s room. Which I’m sure they’d be very proud of.

  9. gghgg  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    I thouht Coldplay already made music for children…

  10. Stuff like this makes me wish I knew people with kids so I would have a legit reason to buy the QOTSA one.

  11. Losho  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    how about “Sweet Child of Too Much Wine”

  12. Kevin  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    sweet, “Lullabalus”

  13. Evan  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    What about:

    “Music for your little pig in a cage on antibiotics”

  14. Jenny  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    How about:

    Baby Boys don’t cry — when they’re listening to lullaby renditions of the Cure.

    Smells like baby Spirit

  15. eric  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    baby screams?

  16. TJ  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    How about “Indie Guppies”?

  17. Mark  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    “Kid A(sleep)”

  18. jadedfog  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    ‘Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner’

  19. nick  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    rock rock, rock and roll preschool

  20. gavin  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    if it was bad you could’ve called it Minor Threat…

  21. kasia  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    “Kid Rock”

  22. godzilla thread killah  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    punchup at a playdate.

  23. kg  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    ‘Hooker with a Penis’ still has a nice ring to it.

  24. ‘Sleepy Music (For A Baby)’
    ‘Packt Like Quintplets In A Single Wmb’

    i’m done now.

  25. Ashlita  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    “Live and Let Cry”

  26. JJFab  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    “Shake Shake Shake. Shake Shake Shake. Shake Your Bay-bee”

  27. Michael  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    How about ‘Nice Dream’ for the Radiohead one. Though the cover art is more likely to induce nightmares. This is your teddy, this is your teddy on crack.

  28. Stephen  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    how about, “Sorry, but Mommy couldn’t find the Mozart for Babies CD”

  29. Stephen  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    or “Honey, Let’s see if Metallica really will turn our kids into serial killers”

  30. growler  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    The Cradle Will Rock

    For Those About to Nap, We Ablute You

  31. plan b  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    umm, how about “suffer little children.”

    i mean, if you’re forcing them to listen to fucking tool.

  32. Tim  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    lullapalooza?

    my grandmother would find that to be extraordinarily clever.

  33. george  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    “Works great on grandma, too!”

  34. ryan  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    The Band That Rocks The Cradle

  35. OK, I’m heading to Fed Ex drop-off to send my broken Macbook back to Mr. Jobs.

    When I get back I’ll pick a winner. So you’ve got like an hour, hour and half.

    (Lots of good ones so far.)

  36. Joosse  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    Twee as Fuck

  37. Joosse  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    On second thought, “Wee as Fuck” is probably slightly more appropriate.

  38. carlo vonsextron  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    HOW BOUT “The Band That Rocks the Cradle”

  39. Curtis Cunningham  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    Child Abuse

  40. cookies  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    Territorial Pissings

    Cradle Will Rock

    I’m Only Sleeping

    Just Like a Dream

    Black, White, Green, Red, Can I Take My Rock to Bed?

    How to Go to Sleep Completely

  41. gertymcdowell  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    Enter Sandman, bring me a dream…

  42. cyberghandi  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    Nap Attack!

  43. Anthony Mertens  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    Nap Attack!

  44. kg  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    Your Baby Wakes, Your Mind Aches

    Happiness Is A Warm Thumb

  45. Mark  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    “Lullabies to paralyze…er… gently sooth to sleep”

  46. nick  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    HAPPINESS IS A WARM THUMB!!! WINNER!! WINNER!

  47. Napster

  48. There were SO MANY good ones. I’m gonna give it to Nick.

    Runners up:
    - The Band That Rocks The Cradle
    - Twee As Fuck
    - relevant quotes from “Stinkfist”

    Nick, check your inbox!

  49. kg  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    which entry was it…?

  50. nick  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2006 0

    if you’re referring to me, i was referring to KG’s post

    unless you were totalling into “Rock Rock, Rock and Roll Preschool”

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