The Killers rolled into 30 Rock last night as musical guests for a painfully unfunny SNL season premiere. On “When You Were Young,” Brandon brought his Sam’s Town sensibility to indie-nerd chic, working that plantation tie and thick frames.

For “Bones” Brandon donned a glitzier riverboat gambler getup.

What was B. Flow’s stylist thinking last night? Cuomo meets Pedro?

Elsewhere, McSweeney’s Rejected Lyrics for the Killers? ?All These Things That I?ve Done? Before They Eventually Settled On ?I?ve Got Soul, But I?m Not A Soldier?

  • I?ve got fat, but I?m not a father.
  • I?ve got a coat, but I?m not a coat rack.
  • I?ve got heat, but I?m not a heathen.
  • I?ve got a cat, but I?m really more of a dog person.
  • I?ve got ambition, but I?m not one of those people who?s just going to knock everyone out of his way to get what he wants, you know?
  • I?ve got a rash, but I dont? think it?s contagious.
  • I?ve got cocaine, but I?m just holding it for a friend.
  • I?ve got some David Bowie CDs, but I?m no David Bowie.
Via Rolling Stone. From their comments: “I’ve got a tan, but I’ve got no talent” — ha.

UPDATE: I’ve got “Bones,” but not eleven secret herbs and spices.

Comments (62)
  1. Eric  |   Posted on Oct 1st, 2006 0

    I’ve never been a Killers fan, but those performances were painful to watch. The man simply cannot sing. Yuck.

    As for SNL, I did like the water bottle sketch.

  2. Eric  |   Posted on Oct 1st, 2006 0

    Oh, and PS …

    WTF was with Dane Cook’s “friends who commit suicide” routine? If you can relate to that material, you ain’t laughing.

  3. “painfully unfunny”… so true. dane cook is an idiot, and i fail to see how this show, which was marginally funny with tina fey at the helm, can be any good. thank god maya rudolph had some airtime last night. her whitney impression at the end there actually made me somewhat pleased i watched the whole thing.

    ya, the killers sounded tight, except for vocals. yikes. i was thinking it must be nerves. the odd time ive done karaoke sober, and the nerves kick in, i tend to lapse into a kind of sing-songy shout as opposed to actually singing or hitting notes. meh…

  4. Stephen  |   Posted on Oct 1st, 2006 0

    Yeah, BFlo was definitely not hitting the notes on that, those were some seriously bad vocals, even though I like the song a lot.
    And what was with the guitarist sticking his tongue out? Dude looked like “Lick it Up” era Gene Simmons like that.

  5. Ryan  |   Posted on Oct 1st, 2006 0

    It’s nice to see the Killers finally returned Nate Dogg’s vocal effects equipment.

  6. With the exception of Amy Poehler’s Kim Jong-Il, I still thought the Killers were the best thing on that show. Although the fact that all four of them looked daft in very different ways can’t be a good thing.

  7. montigue  |   Posted on Oct 1st, 2006 0

    anyone who likes that performance has terrible taste in music. anyone who likes that band is a moron.

  8. bo  |   Posted on Oct 1st, 2006 0

    Why does he look like a math teacher?

  9. shirley  |   Posted on Oct 1st, 2006 0

    b. flow was looking cute in those glasses!

  10. Haley  |   Posted on Oct 1st, 2006 0

    Oooouuuuch. SO off key!

  11. By the sounds of it, they accidentally left the chorus in the dressing room.

  12. cherry  |   Posted on Oct 1st, 2006 0

    that was a veritable train wreck.
    the killers are taking themselves waaaay too seriously. they used to be fun!

  13. I know I should be used to this by now, but it really pisses me off when people where glasses just for the sake of it. I have to wear glasses and I don’t have a problem with it, but it drives me up the wall when an asshole like that throws on thick frames just cause he’s on tv.

  14. homo  |   Posted on Oct 1st, 2006 0

    The killers are the worst LIVE band in the goddamn world. I really liked Hot fuss the album and when I saw them live it was like “who the fuck are these guys?”. They sound sooooo much different in the studio. and B flo was even worse when he sang somebody told me when he was on snl 2 years ago.

  15. person  |   Posted on Oct 1st, 2006 0

    he looks more like if rivers cuomo and dryden mitchell (lead singer of alien ant farm) had a baby.

    especially because of all the shaking.

    ya know.

  16. Danielle  |   Posted on Oct 1st, 2006 0

    “Bones” was a heck of a lot better.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5xmybWW-fc

  17. timmmip  |   Posted on Oct 1st, 2006 0

    That was just godawful. Wow, do they suck.

  18. Stephen  |   Posted on Oct 1st, 2006 0

    Bones was better. Too bad BFlo looked like Colonel Sanders.

  19. Rafael  |   Posted on Oct 1st, 2006 0

    No. It wasn’t. It wasn’t any better at all. His attempt to ‘dance’ was probably… one of the worst things I’ve ever seen on a stage.

  20. thank god maya rudolph had some airtime last night”

    Maya Rudolph is a black hole of comedy. theres a reason she was entirely cut out of Anchorman, and why her role in Idiocracy certainly didnt help the movie actually get seen… she’s easily the worst of the cast.

    “Bones” was better, but thats not saying much. What i hate most about the killers new single, aside from the fact it doesnt know where its going at any point, is the Jesus lyrics… the vague jesus references are an easy “YAH! ARTISTIC STATEMENT! I’M SO DEEP!” out for your average pretentious douchebag

  21. Stephen  |   Posted on Oct 1st, 2006 0

    I meant his SINGING was better, he was more on key, though still not completely.

  22. dustball  |   Posted on Oct 1st, 2006 0

    it’s funny all this hating on the killers vocals are coming from the crowd that thinks CYHSY is good! How ironic!

  23. Seriously, is it too much to ask for? Sing on f’n key. Practice or get off the stage. Damn!

  24. omg  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2006 0

    Christ, will that guitarist please stop singing backup near the end? Mark (bass) sounds ok, but the other dude sounds like he’s trying waaaaaaaay too hard.

  25. I don’t mind the look. I come from an era when bands changed their looks like they did lovers. And I usually chalk up a LOT of the bad sounding vox to the sound on SNL, since they seem to have no idea how to mix. But, Flowers is embarrassingly off key. It’s one thing to be a rock singer and be pitchy and off occasionally but this, this was ridiculous. Sad, and ridiculous.

  26. P Law  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2006 0

    When the bass player comes in with his falcetto “harmonies,” I laughed hysterically and also threw up in my mouth a little.

    So shitty.

    2: I have defended SNL for years, but last night was …. so shitty.

  27. brandon flowers  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2006 0

    truth be told I was singing off key purposely and if none of you can see that you have no business on this thread

  28. aaanon  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2006 0

    i don’t care what anyone says. i still like the killers.

    oh, wait. i hate the killers. they suck so bad. …is that what you wanted me to say? do i fit in now?

  29. finn  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2006 0

    you people should question the fact that you were home on a saturday night to watch a band you hate with a thousand suns perform in a show you knew you’ll end up dissing and still actually make the time and effort to post here what you think of those two things.

    pathetic.

  30. joe  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2006 0

    he really can’t sing. i think the killer’s have overstayed their welcome.

  31. patrick  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2006 0

    is that jason lee on drums?

  32. for being material from the best album of the last 30 years I have to say I am disappointed. I always imagined that such a monumentally important album would have good songs on it.

  33. bryan  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2006 0

    brandon flowers is a shitty live singer.

    there, now that i have that out of the way, let’s talk reality. this performance was NOT a train wreck, or whatever else some people on here are calling it. aside from the vocals, everything sounded exactly like it does on the studio cut…and that is the very best this song is capable of sounding.

    i think i might be the only person i know who actually likes the new killers album. it has no substance, but i find it quite enjoyable.

  34. Memememe  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2006 0

    If I may, allow me to sum up. It seems that everyone on this blog thread thinks that the SNL season premiere was for shit, and the musical guest’s two performances were lackluster at best.

  35. jl3969  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2006 0

    guys, i think youre missing the entire point. the most awesome thing in the entire performance, or even the world, was definitely the drummer’s ‘stache. i thought you guys were fucking dirty hipsters bathing in irony and shitty music. one would think of all people you assholes would have the right priorities.

  36. finn  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2006 0

    oh please someone explain to me why the hell people are wasting their precious time and energy to download/listen to songs by musicians they already believe to be shitty.

    i’m completely mystified but i can’t say i’m not amused though.

  37. tjxm  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2006 0

    Haha, I heard this motherfucker hit and ran someone over with his million-dollar (or whatever the fuck) car.

  38. Sean  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2006 0

    This is awful. What happened to his voice? That’s my single, biggest complaint with this new album…it’s like he went through a Peter Brady voice-change. Plus, where’s the fun? This new material is overdone.

    Now I’ll qualify that statement, since it seems if I say they’re bad I’m instantly ‘a hater’ or an indie nerd angry they’ve ‘made it big’.

    A)I loved Hot Fuss & supported them on tour behind it. They are NOT a bad live band. They were really, really impressive both times I saw them and everyone in attendance agreed.

    B)Bands making it big don’t bother me. I can debate ‘credibility’ and ‘selling out’ as easily as the next guy but bottom line is they keep making good music I’ll be behind it.

    C)I formed my opinion after being legitimately excited to hear new material and even overlooked ‘When You Were Young’…but this, this is no bueno.

    I’m sticking to my guns, stellastarr* did this first and managed to make an excellent sophomore record.

  39. Will Ferrell  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2006 0

    What on earth does Anchorman have to do with anything?

  40. LORDIE  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2006 0

    Why is he trying to be Morrissey.

  41. Stephen  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2006 0

    Finn–not everyone said the band was shitty, but we all agree BFlo’s vocals were shitty. Capice?

  42. “i fail to see how this show, which was marginally funny with tina fey at the helm, can be any good. thank god maya rudolph had some airtime last night. her whitney impression at the end there actually made me somewhat pleased i watched the whole thing.”

    Oh jeez, Tina Fey and Maya Rudolph are not in any way, shape or form funny. Fey’s departure is a great thing for SNL and Rudolph is now the worst performer on the show. She’s been on the show seven years and what has she done? That’s right, she wastes time in every episode by doing either a “bad singer” character or she does her “black lady” character. That is literally ALL she has done.

    As for the Killers, I watched it with the volume pretty low and I was talking to people during the performance, but I kinda dug the moustaches.

  43. LL Cool F  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2006 0

    ahem, that list ain’t from McSwy’s yo.

  44. I was actually at the show. Even back stage at 10:30 Flowers was shaking like Hepburn. I didn’t think the show was horrible though… I was most impressed with Goodburger’s girlfriend. Total knockout.

  45. Santos  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2006 0

    Ok, so SNL blows (for more than a decade, what’s new?) and the Killers suck live… who cares. Did anyone else catch Austin City Limits on Saturday night?

    I’m not kidding, it was Coldplay (who were decent) with Michael Stipe providing guest vocals on a few tracks. It’s amazing to hear a mediocre “voice trick” singer like Chris Martin (who was high as a kite btw) try to keep up with arguably the best white pop/rock singer of our generation. MS can still sing the fuck out of a song… Nightswimming was amazing.

    Last week, ASL had the Pixies performing. I think it’s the best music show on TV, and it’s much better entertainment on a Saturday night than SNL.

  46. Memememe  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2006 0

    If I may, allow me to sum up. It seems that everyone on this blog thread thinks that the SNL season premiere was for shit, and the musical guest’s two performances were lackluster at best.

  47. Memememe  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2006 0

    If I may, allow me to sum up. It seems that everyone on this blog thread thinks that the SNL season premiere was for shit, and the musical guest’s two performances were lackluster at best.

  48. there’s a little young david byrne in there. the most self important band since led zeppelin.

  49. These lyrics are heinous. On their first record, it was easier not to notice. Cheeseball.

  50. Charlotte  |   Posted on Oct 2nd, 2006 0

    Could Brandon Flowers have any less charisma? Seriously, is it possible?

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