Third Eye Blind (you remember, from the ’90s?) quietly released a new single a few weeks ago. Reader Michael points out that frontman Stephan Jenkins quotes “Paper Planes” (I thought we buried that?) in its final minute, a fact I missed when I first heard the song and failed to make it through the whole thing. He writes…
Third Eye Blind’s new single “Non-Dairy Creamer” is pretty much golden in all the worst ways. You really should post something about it, because it not only has some, uhh –noteworthy — lyrics (In short, it begins to talk about KFC chicken not really being chicken and there is a “Young gay Republicans!” chant breakdown.) More interesting, though, is that the final minutes of the song quotes MIA’s “Paper Planes.”
Brace yourselves.
KFC, STDs, M.I.A. … LOL. I don’t even mind Third Eye Blind when they come on XM Lucy. But this song could not go unpunished. Lyrics here in case you need to deface anyone’s Facebook wall.
The Red Star EP is out Tuesday on Sony.
UPDATE: Stephan Jenkins responds.
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this song is “breathtaking”. truly amazing……….
When I first heard this song, I though Stephen had turned into a lunatic. But after reading and looking at the lyrics, they truly do make sense. I totally get some of the cheesy humor, about KFC and implants, but underneath it really does send out a message. People need to learn to read between the lines.
Wow.. Alot of you guys really didn’t get the joke at all. did you. Maybe because its so flat in your face and dry a bit like british humor. I guess one must have a taste for it. i like corny jokes…..so its in for me HAHAHAHA.. Take a breather and laugh people!
I hear “Paper Planes” is all over Slumdog Millionaire (so seeing it this weekend), which will probably be Oscar bait, so we’ve got a ways to go.
It plays during two segments. One the original song as we see the two young protagonist make a living on a train. The second time is a remix that is actually kind of cool. The movie is pretty incredible. Took me by surprise and definitely my favorite of the year. Danny Boyle keep impressing me with his versatility.
By the way, this song sucks balls.
Oh dear God. I’m not even kidding, this is either the worst song ever recorded or the most horribly executed use of irony the world has ever known. Either way, it sucks.
u suck, this is a great song that u arent bright enough to understand
The whole song I was waiting for him to rhyme “non-dairy creamer” with ring-tailed lemur. I thought for sure it was going to happen.
This band does have a place in my heart. Alas, lyrically, this song is horrendous. …I am digging “Red Star” though.
turrible, just turrible
I didn’t know Charles Barkley visited Stereogum.
But yes, truly turrible.
The best part about not liking them in the late 90s is the lack of regret I now feel.
Maybe he should write a Law and Order episode if he wants to take a “ripped from the headlines” approach to his lyrics? But hey, he dated Charlize Theron.
Agreed – this song is so bad it makes you wonder if these guys are actually serious. Maybe they’re shilling for the faux-dairy industry? Will there be a margarine anthem before Christmas?
At least it wasn’t another “Ode to Obama” abortion.
Ahhh… that familiar lisp brings back so many memories.
We have a new song too, it’s called “the Sophomores.” It’s awesome, you should check it out.
Wow… this sucks…but I still think Blue was a great album.
i think its suppostah be a joke ….. how’s it gunna be when you eat splenda.
is the “what’s it gonna be?” part a chorus or something? this song is so confusing. how do you even write a song like this? i have a feeling he wrote the lyrics first and then just strummed random chords and kind of sang over it. or something.
This is astounding. And what on earth is he even trying to say with the gay marriage bit? Is he stating his opposition to it or what? This is just crazy and confusing.
I’m sorry but I didn’t think it was bad at all. I thought the line about breast implants and missiles with the vocal melody was interesting.
Wait, did I really just say that? This track is garbage
more importantly, was the non-dairy creamer explicitly laid out like a fruit cake?
With a wet spot bigger than a great lake?
i am eternally hateful. really.
yeah, i was hoping it was some kind of reference as well. i unapologetically love 3eb, so I’m reserving judgment
This is a very political song. Third Eye Blind are amazing. How many bands have hits that are about meth love, cum facials, hiv, suicide, etc.
The funny thing is that the average listener doesn’t even know what their hits are about, and if they did, they would be shocked.
This band came to our college and promised to play if Obama won. Yee haw!
i love how some of you will defend the killers but eat these guys alive.
same shit!
Amen
what am i so afraid of?
this song becoming popular. ugh
This song is no worse than 98.8 % of the shit that’s on this blog.
Wait, what is this YouTube embeddable audio player you’re using? Is it new?
Also, coherent as it is, I missed which part was a Paper Planes quote….
@Internet gangsta: The YouTube embedded audio is actually a cheat. They just chopped off the top of the video window in the HTML.
Yeah I was looking into that too… I think that all you need to do is just change the “height” part of the player in the HTML.
This is the best song out right now. You know that right?
This song is awesome. Sure the lyrics are weird. But they are meant to be. The instrumental track is pure genious. Your falling into the trap.
Third Eye Blind is like, the most 90s thing ever.
i dont know, aside from the terrible lyrics, it’s not that bad. weird kick drum sound though. it sounds fine in the mix but when it’s featured it sounds really… squishy. but yeah, very bizarre song.
Is that intro lifted from “Sunday Bloody Sunday”? This song is an abortion in every way.
I keep telling myself that this is a joke…
As it turns out there appears to be a remix contest of this song! So by all means, tear it apart!
3eb was one of my favorite bands when I was in high school, there’s no shame on that. You know why, cause they had some good songs. Blue was decent too. When I heard their last album, Out of the Vein, I wept. What a lousy album… and that was back in 03!
I’m seriously considering deleting all the songs in my hard drive and burning my cds. That’s how horrified I am.
Wow, that was deep. I would like to subscribe to his newsletter. You know, more singers should be political, because they are generally such gifted geniuses, armed with historical references and in-depth analysis. For me to poop on.
The song is supposed to be lampooning the people it’s about. Even though its a failed attempt at humor, it’s meant to be as funny as it is awful.
You guys are crazy! Third Eye Blind are so brilliant, fab, etc.
Lyrically, nobody cuts like them. Songs about suicide, drugs, sexual deviance are like no others.
Educate yourself about Third Eye Blind before you comment, kids.
They are the best alternative band going right now. You can’t deny their power.
BTW — “Non Dairy Creamer” is supposed to be a goof.
It’s about as sarcastic and liberal a song can get. Young gay republicans, etc.
Thank you! Apparently some people don’t understand sarcasm and dry humor. Idiots. There’s no homophobia in this song, they’re making fun of all the tools who act like they have a stick up their ass. People need to quit taking everything at face value and I don’t know, think a little? “Mission Accomplished’ Amen to that!
This song is both musically and lyrically atrocious. Those defending 3eb as anything more than a pathetic guilty pleasure [of musical value equal to the worst of the New Radicals catalogue] must not like music very much.
The chord progression goes nowhere. The four to the floor is completely inappropriate. The vocal melody sounds barely scripted. The lyrics are unrepentantly bad. It doesn’t matter if they’re a parody. It’s a bad parody. A terrible one. The lyrics are as pointless in inane as the English hook of a Japanese pop song. If it’s a political commentary, the final result is completely obtuse. The part about gay marriage makes no sense. Even if he’s trying to give a liberal perspective on the matter, using the phrase, “just a’couple’a queens” reenforces homophobia as “other” to begin with, as does, in a less obvious way, “two gay guys.”
Then there’s that moronic string part repeating the melodic motif with terrible terrible convoluted sub-Phish jamming at the end. It’s as if a 17-23 year old curly-haired douche from Orange County [who enjoys hiking and camping with his bros] got a hold of a Philip Glass recording and made a YouTube vid of him jamming along with it.
Lastly, I can’t stop listening to it.
I tried to listen to the entire song, but I had to pause at the halfway point to go shit blood.
I don’t care how sarcastic/genius/whatever this song supposedly is; it’s awful. I listened to these guys in high school too, but even the nostalgia doesn’t make this any less pathetic.
I don’t use words like “hero” lightly, but that Jenkins…
“Towards the end of September 2008, Third Eye Blind released the song Non-Dairy Creamer to fans… On October 16th, the same day that the Non-Dairy Creamer contest came to a close, the next song in the competition titled “Don’t Believe a Word” was released”
wow stereogum, it’s good to see you’re ahead of the times.
even wikipedia beat you to this.
[link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_Eye_Blind#Ursa_Major_.282009.29
Hey elitists!…………just wanted to tell you I hate all of you. Have a good night.
All these dopey, dumbass critics suck.
As a longtime fan of 3eb, it is refreshing to hear new music from them. Maybe you dont like the lyrical content, but you gotta admit that this track has some incredible music. And it is catchy enough for the masses. Watch out because 3eb is going to be back in a big way one the album is actually released.
All these dopey, dumbass critics suck. Nothing like a bunch of stupid fingerpainters criticizing true art.
True art!? Seriously? I think maybe that’s stretching things a bit.
Hahahhahahaah! True art?!? Yeah, this song is definitely a Goya painting or Black Saint and the Sinner Lady. This isn’t art, this is commercial product, and worse, it’s terrible, terrible commercial product. Like a bottle of Nair advertised as jock itch cream.
By the way, Stephen, I wish you good luck with the record sales, buddy! Sorry you jumped the shark two records ago, man.
That’s because critics today have no comprehension of anything with TALENT! That is why we loyal 3eb fans have had to become what we are. We have to appreciate from affair. You are in today’s battle of ignorance, bliss and self absorption. Mindless people can’t be taught or shown what is art. It is something seen with your heart your soul, things people of today are aparently born without.
I say if people don’t like it then Don’t listen! Stephan can continue going on without haters at least he has the brains to be what he is today (NO ONE ON THIS Board can compare to intelligence Stephan has in his one pinky!! Glad there are more of us out there! My favorite line in Narcolepsy. ROCK ON!!
Wow, good to see thirdeyeblind back in the limelite; sort of. The song is catchy as hell, which is sort of their trademark. Guitar work is pretty tight and the outro is awesome (with a shout out to MIA, or not).
I’ve seen these guys live last year and they totally blew me away. It looks like they will capture the energy of their live shows into this record!
I’ve heard almost every song off this new album in 8 live shows since 2007. This album, especially Summer Town and Campfire (played live as Bonfire), will ROCK. Chris N. — have you ever actually written a song?
Yes, I have actually, but that’s not the point. Writing a song doesn’t make you an artist, and not all music is real art. And even if this can be considered art, that doesn’t make it good or worth my time, even as a lowly fingerpainter (to use your analogy).
Oh, so now you’re the judge of what is and what isn’t art?!! LOL. Doofus.
Yes, I am.
I don’t mind arguing, but resorting to name calling is pretty weak (doofus?). No need to get all wound up. I’ll keep my anti-3eb comments to myself; I obviously don’t know what I’m talking about. What was I thinking, a fingerpainter criticizing a true artist?
I’m totally out of line. We’ll let other true artists, such as yourself, to make these important judgment calls.
That would be fitting and proper. Thanks.
DeadRussianAuthor, this is commercial product, pure and simple. It was made to shift units first, land in a product placement ad second, dupe dumbies to come to a concert third, etc. etc., participate in a tradition of art, somewhere around 473rd in the list of priorities. If Stephen Jenkins didn’t dupe a label into paying his bills, he wouldn’t have written this terrible music [under the tutelage of producers, the label, and the like], therefore it isn’t art. The product has superseded the art for him if it ever was an art. Making money, getting exposure and holding onto some shred of fame are almost certainly his priorities. Otherwise, he wouldn’t make this trite bubblegum. Real artists can’t do anything but create art. That’s why a lot of the good ones die poor, rather than in plush LA pads.
OMG, you’re a genius K2. You should be a psychoanalyst. Here’s a little analysis for you. And it’s free. You sound like a frustrated and bitter musical wannabe.
Haha. Dude, the day I play a 3eb song for a million dollars is the day I shoot myself in the head. Those songs are so bad, you couldn’t pay me enough. I love when people don’t know how to defend a pathetic argument they resort to calling someone a name. For all you know, I’m Mick Jagger.
Can Dead Russian Poet go away please…
k2, jenkins is a genius. plus he started his own label so i guess you can say he signed himself before he wrote that kickass song. every 3eb show ive ever been too has been sold out. thay have a cult following and people who dont understand there music porbably like nickleback, buckcherry, staind and the like. talk about bands just trying to make money. jenkins has a masters from cal berkley in english chief…basiclly the guy could write good lyrics in his sleep. i bet you like those bands i listed previously plus puddle of mudd and douches like that.
I appreciate a band that has a variety of music in their repertoire and not just a singular sound. Third Eye Blind has a song for any mood that I am in. This one will be the song I will want to listen to when traffic is getting to me ’cause it is light and fun.
Third Eye Blind is a band that has a variety of music in their repertoire and not a singular sound. They have a song for any mood that I am in. This one will come in handy when I am stuck in traffic ’cause it is light and fun. It works for me.
Third Eye Blind is beyond the pop broken heart crap. Sucks some people can’t accept music that is beyond what they’ve experienced — this song forces people to look outside of the box. I love it.
This makes you look out of the box, just a little:
or this guy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockhausen
But if we stick with literature, this might be a little more interesting: http://books.google.com/books?id=yUQraHg–80C&printsec=frontcover&dq=ava#PPA3,M1
And everything I just linked is beginner’s level out of the box in my opinion, but it blows this stuff out of the water, yo.
What an insanely catchy tune, and officially now the anthem at my school residence. I can definitely see this song climbing the charts and I can?t wait to hear what the band releases next. Has anyone heard any news of a music video releasing with this single?
i know the lyrics may be backdated, but you can’t argue with the catchiness of the song.
give it a listen a few times – it’s an acquired taste.
imagine if this song had come out in 2004 – it would have been a mega-hit in the upswing of anti-bushisms. yeah, it’s late now, but does that make it any less absurdly quirky?
i, for one, dig the music if not the lyrics – and i bet if you listen to it a few times you’re going to end up singing it in your head for a while.
at the very least, go check out their myspace for red star. that song is fucking amazing.
Worst song of 2008?? Come on, with all that garbage rap music music out there, you really think this is worse?? I’ts not even the worst rock song of 2008 with the terrible new songs by Hinder and Nickelback hitting the airwaves.
The lyrics aren’t the best, but they are enough to create a stir. ( I mean, look at this site itself) but the music itself sounds good.
This song is fun and crazy, and that’s what it’s supposed to be. The lyrics are crazy, but they’re meant to comment on recent events. The music is awesome, and the song is catchy as hell!
To Jason about gay marriage: the lyrics are “And two gay guys got married, and brought the family to it’s knees. How did they blow us to smithereens? Just a couple of queens. How did they do it, I’m tellin’ you now. They brought marriage to an end. And I found myself some culprits. It’s two young gay republicans.”
the whole thing is ironic and farcical. the band is from san francisco, and stephan jenkins is extremely liberal, meaning he supports gay marriage. he’s commenting on the fact that republicans and religious people think gay marriage is ruining marriage, but then these people end up coming out of the closet as gay anyway..
the song is strange, but it’s supposed to be strange. it doesn’t take itself seriously. it’s fun and really catchy. the music rocks.. the outro is awesome, even though i’d prefer the paper planes bit not be in there.
i’m so glad that third eye blind is back.. the new album is going to be awesome!
you know, when I first heard this song I loved the music, I just couldn’t believe the lyrics were 3eb. then I listened to it a few more times, and I realized that the joke’s on us – the song is making fun of politics (of course).. but also we, the people, in a way that it also makes fun of itself.
it’s genius.
The song is catchy as hell, and fun.. it’s meant to comment on current events, while not taking itself seriously! some of the lyrics are strange, but they’ll get your attention! the music rocks, and the outro is sweet! i’m not a big fan of the paper planes song, but the song is infectious!!
to Jason, regarding gay marriage: The song is supposed to be ironic and farcical. the band is from san francisco, one of the most liberal places in the country, and stephan jenkins himself is really liberal (he supported obama and played at rallies for him.) it’s commenting on the fact that republicans and religious people are against gay marriage, but then these same people end up coming out as being gay, anyway.
I’m so glad 3eb is back on the scene, and i can’t wait for the new album!
I disagree with some of the people who are simply writing this song off as a “mindless” and “dumb” single. I think this song is absolutely fantastic from start to finish. The song builds from nothing into a raucous bridge and end chorus full of energy. It has dynamic… those “military-esk” drum beats are unbelievable, Brad’s cadence is perfect. Tony’s guitar, especially around the “mission accomplished” part of the song is as rock as you can get… and Stephan’s lyrics… sure, individually lines like “They call it KFC cuz it’s not really chicken” make you say “What the hell was that?!” but you have to look at it in context of the entire song. This song doesn’t just go from line to line like a lot of contemporary rock songs (Coldplay is a band who’s lyrics don’t really SAY anything as a whole). This song adds up to make a statement… that being: Are you going to be real and worthwhile or are you going to be fake and fleeting. The choice is yours.
This is a great song and I’m thrilled 3EB is back!
ANOTHER intern! You guys are all over this board!!!
How do you know these guys names so well? I hope they signed your basketball.
Pure Genius from Jenkins. Musically masterful, lyrically lustrous. Can’t get it out of my head. Dig deep into the layers.
This song is crazy, and the lyrics are very strange but the music is catchy and i think the song itself is supposed to be “dumbed down” to raise eybrows. I can’t stop singing “young gay republicans” either – its been in my head ever since i heard the song. I’m glad a quality band like Third Eye Blind is back because the airways are seriously lacking these days. I’ll be purchasing the E.P on tuesday for sure – the other two songs that are up on their myspace page are pretty solid.
I seriously can’t get this song out of my head!!
While I’m not sure about he lyrics, I’m digging the music. It’s upbeat and I just can’t get it out of my head. Beats most of the crap you hear these days. It might be overly blunt, but I get your point Mr. Jenkins . . . well done.
Wow great music and thoughtful lyrics, I think I like it, but I’ll have to check out their EP before I can make a solid judgment.
First of all, I’m a 3eb fan and although I think I can see where those who are berating the lyrics are coming from, I’m far from understanding where those, who are subject the music to similar criticisms, are coming from.
It’s personal opinion, of course it is, but, I think there is a lot to say for the simplicity of the underlying song. It’s a fragile guitar twanging track to start, with drums that add uniform to the whole affair, reflecting, perhaps, the establishment Jenkins is ranting on about? Then everything gets a bit more wild, after picking up around 1:32, then really dropping it around 1:45, with the Young Gay Republicans chant. The instruments are probably at their most unhitched since the debut album. Great. It seems Jenkins has been too busy to over produce, or maybe in the times of being ‘Green’, he just wants to be seen saving electricity?
I also think the lyrics are stronger than they appear. The opening lines may be a bit cringe worthy for some, but that is probably because criticising KFC is an old hat? If you want to fight the machine, KFC probably seems to obvious and benign-a-place to go. Essentially, in my interpretation, the lyrics are about people being false, hiding who they really are, trying to be both right wing and left wing, having your cake and eating it, trying to be Cream whilst not being cream.
This song is completely catchy, lyrics are eye-opening. A song that will stick in your head- love it!
I think this song is brilliant! I find the lyrics to be quite ironic and genius to be honest. They’re meant to be tounge in cheek. I think they have done and excellent job at getting people talking! Love it or hate it you can’t ignore them! Well done
I can say that Non-Dairy Creamer was a song that grew on me. The guitar hook that Tony plays is really the catchiest part of the song and the most memorable. When I first heard the song I was a little turned off but now I love it and have spread the love to friends and family members. I actually sang it at an American Idol spinoff at my college and have heard people singing “Young Gay Republicans!” since that night. While the lyrics may be a little different than what 3eb fans are used to they are definitely still worth listening to.
Look, sure, the lyrics aren’t stellar. But listen to the rest of the EP and you’ll see NDC is the exception, not the rule. The musicianship is just as excellent as any other 3EB song. I’ve been a fan since their self titled and haven’t stopped listening since. These guys are some of the most generous and talented guys in music today, take like 5 minutes to check out their myspace and listen to Red Star and Why Can’t You Be and I’d GUARANTEE you’ll be more impressed, at least lyrically, than with NDC.
The thing about the song having the worst lyrics ever is if you can get past them…the music is amazing!! All of it, maybe it can be added to Ursa Major as an instrumental! Anyway it’s good to hear new stuff from them, it’s been a long time, looking forward to seeing what else is to come!!!
Non-Dairy Creamer is simply this: A song that has a DEFINITE hook that won’t get out of one’s head easily. A song having the ability to make one listen to the song over and over again regardless of whether they like it or not. Outstanding musicianship. Lyrics that belittle anyone who actually seriously scrutinizes them. This song is fun. Period. Its not meant to be a lot more than that. A good old fashioned rocker! I love it! I found that the other songs that are going to be out on their EP tuesday are EXCELLENT as well: myspace.com/thirdeyeblind
“A good old fashioned rocker!”
Sweet “Animal” reference.
WTF?! You’re calling “catchiness” outstanding musicianship?! Then I guess the “BY MENNEN!” thing at the end of shaving cream commercials is the peak of Western musical development.
Catchiness is a stupid parlor trick. Any real musician knows that. That’s why “selling out” is such a debate for a lot of folks. It’s actually pretty easy to churn out simple progressions and pretty melodies. We like that which is familiar instantly, it’s that which is CHALLENGING that is valuable.
Musical value has NOTHING TO DO with catchiness and sales and EVERYTHING to do with musical history and breaking new ground, sonically. This song ignores the former and definitely doesn’t do the latter. It sucks balls, guy.
Non-Dairy Creamer is undoubtedly a unique song, and with that will be differing opinions on the song. And regardless of what one may think of the song, as you read through the many comments above you will fine one thing in common: most people can not get the song out of their head. You can’t deny the beat is catchy, and the song tends to grow to even those who do not initally like it.
With that said, NDC is just the tip of the iceberg of all things 3eb, and I would recommend to anyone who dislikes the song to go to their myspace and listen to Red Star and Why Can’t You Be, and you will hear the greatness that is Third Eye Blind.
I quite like this song. Sure lyrics are a bit odd. But the music is spectacular and extremely catchy. I just checked out the myspace- Red Sar and Why cant you be- Absolutely Amazing songs. I appreciate Third Eye Blinds diversity.
personally, the song was alright, but the instrumental section at the end makes it all worth it.
I think this song is full of memorable pop flava!
and to top it off, it is truly genuine to the Third Eye Blind Monacher; The lyrics, though playful and at times confusing for the not so fluent 3EB fan, speak in the typical Third Eye Blidn fashion, stark, honest and beautiful!
It speaks to the issues fo today that affect us all and are in my mind the issues of today provided Stephan Jenkins an outlet to cast his wizard like lyrical powers!
I think the line: “did you ever trhink someone’s tricking you?!..you you you !”
is the line that is so underestimated, this song speaks to me at a time of urgency in our society, a time when some much is happening socially, economically, morally, spiritually, and I think it speaks loadly to look within ourselves to make sense of our world, and to remember that we are all in this together, we should act bravely for the things we believe in, things that are truly real!
This is a great song, the music rocks and the arrangement and lyrics are memorable and legendary in true Third Eye Blind style!
I can’t wait for the offical release fo the EP on tuesday, because iit means this great album is finally coming to us soon!
Red Star is uncanny and the full length Ursa Major will truly be one of the best releases in 2009 mark my words….you can all deny it, but the truth is, I am sick of listening to crap rock music lately!
Be real, lets rock hard! Turn up that EP loudly this week, it is definetely one of the best in a logn while!!
Peace and Love brothas and sistas!
Well, it looks like the fun is over. The Third Eye Blind fans caught wind of this and are hijacking the comment board with their non-obvious pro-3EB words. I don’t get why they’re so mad… Past-aggressive bitterness directed towards ex-Jenkins’ gf Vanessa Carlton for using Stephen’s “better” lyrics while they dated, maybe?:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNsRqTfWe0k
Wow. This is pretty god awful
I love all their old hits still, though.
It’s an EP!! For God’s sake! This album will be totally sick. Big hits ahead are Campfire and Summertown. Wait ’til the whole album comes out.
Stephen jenkins is that you?
It is me, yes. Who else could write a creative song like this other than an English major who graduated valedictorian at California-Berkeley?
Yeah man! Going to a state school tooootally makes you the true elite! Keep rocking, Jenkins.
Careful, you are going to become strangled in your own insecurities — which, after all, is what overly critical people tend to do. Let it go. You can do it. Jealousy is unbecoming as well.
You’re right Stephen Jenkins. I’m jealous that my one-hit song was not featured in the TIGGER movie. Distaste is not extensionally equivalent to hate. The theory that all critics are wannabe musicians also ignores the fact that critics often make better musicians than terrible pop musicians. Pere Ubu for example. Anyway, what’s music other than a commentary on its own tradition? If you believe post-structuralist theory to be at all true, then art IS criticism and criticism IS art.
But according to your logic, Stephen Jenkins must be jealous of George Bush and Colonel Sanders, since you suggest critics just want to be what they poke fun at. If I were him I’d be jealous of them, too. Man, it’d suck to be so bad at your job that you’re jealous of the job GW Bush has done.
It’s clear to me that Stereogum is to music what Gawker is to everything: an elitist, hippie blog that claims it’s critiquing as the end all be all.
I’m sorry Third Eye Blind isn’t Fleet Foxes or TVOTR, but that’s not who they are. They are the kings of lyrical brainwashing and pop manipulation. They’ve made songs so catchy that you’re unconsciously singing along, not realizing you’ve transcended the ‘musical norms’ of their 90s-ness and just accepted the fact that they’re actually pretty amazing.
Tthey’ve done their jobs pretty damn effectively if they’re still making music after 10 years, not to mention how often their tours sell out despite the fact that they have not made a new record in over five years.
I think you need to reserve your judgments for Ursa Major, their new record, dropping Spring 2009. Until then,you can whet your appetite by buying the Red Star EP out Tues. Nov. 18th on Amazon.com and iTunes.
How many interns can this label afford?!? Sheesh!
AHAHA cleverly phrased post.
f’real though. stfu.
“Fleet Foxes or TVOTR.” Those two bands have nothing in common other than being good. So if that’s what you mean by “not who they are,” in reference to 3eb, I agree. They’re not good either. Selling out a concert doesn’t make you good either. Often, it means the opposite.
I was real excited to see that Third Eye Blind had a new single out, as I really enjoyed their earlier stuff. When I first heard this song I gotta admit I laughed when i heard the lyrics being sung. I did not laugh at them in disgust, but in fact the complete opposite. to me it does a great job with poking fun at American society today, how so many of us are living fake lives and are being fed false, watered-down information through the media. I’ve listened to it quite a few times now and it becomes more evident that the so-called “bad” lyrics are written that way on purpose. The band is looking at the MTV minds of America, seeing how dumbed-down so many of us are, and are getting our attention with these familiar and basic words. but at the same time they’re giving us a big slap to the face like saying “wake up! look what this country has done to you!”
Many of you may think that these lyrics are complete garbage because they seem nonsensical and don’t reinvent poetry like you think they should.. but look at what this song is doing: it suddenly grabs your attention by mentioning KFC and CHEETOS (2 very well known brands in American culture) at the very beginning of the song, which then makes you wonder “lol what is this? I wonder what else he will say”, so you keep listening. This song has a great hook, and like i said before, the music is very catchy and it gets stuck in your head.. i’ve been humming it at work all day! very few (if any) hit singles have lyrics that appear so silly.. but I have a feeling that Third Eye Blind is doing this on purpose. the lyrics appear silly to instantly grab our attention. as seen in this discussion so far, a lot of people hate it, but some people like it. no matter what, it’s creating a buzz, which is what radio singles should do. those who happen to like it will listen to it more and find a deeper meaning to the lyrics. I’ll bet even some album critics will hear this single and be like “ohh I can’t wait to tear this band a new one!” Then they hear the rest of the album (which will most likely have different sounding material than the single, like the band’s first album had) and they will be thrown a total curve ball, not being able to write a bad review.
Kudos to Third Eye Blind for being so brave. I hope they accomplish the goal they’re after!
Dude, 3eb are not Faulkner. Inserting product name drops into your song doesn’t make you relevant.
Like I said elsewhere, just because you made something bad on purpose doesn’t make it good … it makes it bad.
There have been real moments when pop musicians said useful, occasionally even deep things. A clue. It’s never happened when it’s forced. When an artist tries to make a big point, instead of being honest, it inevitably sucks, unless they’re an absolute master [e.g. Stravinsky, Shostakovich, Reich even].
So yeah, Stephen Jenkins sure isn’t a master since the guy’s probably best song is about 95 seconds.
These clown-critics will realize their stupidity when the whole album comes out — and totally ROCKS. Until then, we have to suffer the know-it-all know-nothings.
Stephin Jenkins groped a lady friend of mine at a free show they did at SUNY over the summer. We were there to see Polar Bear Club, who by all means don’t sound a thing like Third Eye, and the washed up Jenkins copped a feel when he walked by her in the backstage area. The funny part? She didn’t turn 18 until two weeks later. Nice job, asshole. Now we know why you can say 1 in 4 girls in America has an STD with such confidence.
I’m sure he expected such a reaction.
Obviously fooled a lot of people.. it’s most definitely ironic.
I wish all these fans could take a minute to stop jerking off to pictures of Jenkins and actually listen to this song.
I don’t know why everyone is criticizing this song… its a fun pop/rock song. The music behind the lyrics is solid!!
Could not agree more.
While terrible, this isn’t any worse than that new Killers single.
*listens to the “young gay Republicans part*
Well, maybe it is worse.
Just listened to this song on third yee blinds myspace page. The lyrics were a bit weird. But the track is awesome in my opinion. Especially the verse and guitar work in the outro. I looked at the songs ‘cant you be’ and ‘red star’ as well. They were really good.
Sweet, Matt H. I hope your internship pays hourly at least.
Apparently, defending Third Eye Blind for the sake of defending Third Eye Blind is the cool thing to do on this thread. I’m gonna say that this song rocks without listening to it based solely on the feeling of prom-night nostalgia I get listening to “Jumper”.
“Did you ever think that someone’s tricking you?”
I just laughed out loud at this line after reading a few of the obviously appalled comments..
I feel like the people crying that it’s terrible are truly missing the point of the song.
I’m guessing a few of you failed English and lack the skills related to irony and context clues..
You’re worse than the Christians who thought John Mayer was denouncing religion with “New Deep” ..
Just because something is supposed to be sarcastic and “ironic” doesn’t mean it’s less terrible. If I shit in a can and say I was lampooning traditional sexuality, did it work? This song is a failure on all fronts.
And I studied English for a long time.
You make a good point.
It’s obviously a love or hate thing.. but whether you think it’s nonchalant bullshit or just a catchy, worthless pop song.. at least they’re trying to shake up the ramshackle day parade that we call “modern rock” .. plus, the song itself is contagious.. if you discuss with a friend, I’d say that’s a definite mission accomplished for Stephan Jenkins..
I happen to love Deerhunter AND Third Eye Blind, but that’s beside the point..
Fuck, it’s almost five AM…
Love when people make totally unverifiable claims. I bet you can barely spell your own name. Have you actually seen the lyrics on paper? Have you actually asked the musicians about their intent for the song? Or, are you just trying to pull off a critical “analysis” out of your ass?
So it’s wrong to analyze things? Yeah, you’re right. I guess Stephen Jenkins should take your advice and never write a song again since lyrics are just an analysis of other things.
I understood every lyric in the song fine. This isn’t a work of art I need to “see on paper.” It ain’t TS Elliot. There are no references to look up and ponder. It’s not “difficult” at all. This song isn’t exactly James Joyce. Hell, it’s not even Dr. Seuss! It’s an epic failure. When you write lyrics that dumb, you have to be ready for people to notice. When something is bad on purpose, it’s still bad.
Besides, there’s only one “verifiable” claim in the whole universe: “I think, therefore I am,” so let’s not get all philosophical on each other. Your guys sucks, you know it, so just drop the act.
it seems so obvious to me that this song is supposed to be as absurd as non-dairy creamer itself, so why all the serious critique that it is not some monumental gem? 3eb is just pop-rock. fun stuff. relax!
while the lyrics could be better, it works well for the casual radio listener and the music is brilliant, its a very catchy song.
Careful, you are going to become strangled in your own insecurities — which, after all, is what overly critical people tend to do. Let it go. You can do it.
the most offensive thing about this song is the snare sound.
Wow, I can’t believe how many people reacted to this. I was neither moved or surprised.
I guess that makes it qualify as art. Good or bad are relative, so have fun arguing that.
I personally found it far less interesting than the threads going here.
Honestly, this is not the worst song of the year. It’s got a great pop feel to it, it pulls you in, it makes you want to listen to it. And look at this board, it inspires a lot of talk, which is great. We’re all arguing about it, talking to others, and getting the word out. Musically, this track is solid, and not at all the worst of 08. Can’t believe someone could think that. It’s a solid track with lyrics that get your attention. Thumbs up.
May i point out that when a band derives it’s name from their penis, all bets are off. That makes songs like this possible, if not expectable. Is this a defense of the song, no, but you should never be surprised by a band like this. I read these guys as arrested adolescents who have been obtuse and profane in the past but are now trying to show some “growth” by attempting (but failing) to be esoteric. In other words, they are frat boys now trying to screw art school chicks……never a pretty sight.
I’m not sure about this song – i don’t think its the worse, but its certainly not the best. I wanted to hear more from third eye, so i checked out there other stuff on myspace, and while non dairy creamer might be a little strange (though not hard to listen to) i really liked their other songs, especially red star. It was written really well, so it leads me to believe this song is intentionally bad. Far out lyrics for attention. I remember the “hits” from these guys years ago and they all seemed to be well written pop. Checking out some of their other stuff, the lead singer (i’m assuming song writer) wrote some gems. This one just seems like a joke to me – he meant for this to be the way it is. Just look at how many people here are talking about it.
The only reason so many people are talking about it is because someone or some people clearly working for or obsessed with Third Eye Blind keeps commenting over and over and over about how “good” the song is. It’s honestly one of the most humorous things I’ve seen on Stereogum, and could only be expected coming from anyone relating to Third Eye Blind. Whether it’s your guise of pretending not to know the lead singer wrote the song, plugging the release date of this godawful display of garbage, or your generic usernames, honestly, just do us all a favor because I think you’re really just having an argument with yourself right now.
Also, my name is Michael, and I am the one that tipped Stereogum and was quoted in the above article. I haven’t said anything in the comments above, but looking at this article’s fallout after the weekend put a smile on face seeing that I successfully ruffled the feathers of some label marketing group, fan community or probably just Stephen Jenkins himself who is sitting in his sleek, LA pad obsessing over how he went from being a mid-90′s pop-rock pin-up boy to the brunt of a joke on a popular and awesome music blog.
Uh, the chorus is “How’s It Gonna Be”. So FAIL
Critics are the phoniest of all people. It’s obvious you have some pathetic personal axe to grind. Has someone stopped you from succeeding as a musician Michael? Why the hostility, my friend?
LOL
I know it probably looks awful seeing that last week, I posted a fake comment flood here on Stereogum over their partnership with Amazon’s MP3 store, but I can truthfully swear on my life say that I only posted once on this particular topic. Now, you DeadRussianAuthor have posted probably about a dozen times and above all ,are concluding there is some conspiracy personal vendetta to settle between myself and your beloved band. The simple truth is this: This song is pure humor. I laughed out loud for a good hour after I stumbled upon it, looked, sent it to all my friends who felt the same way and even wanted to see the lyrics for themselves. Then I sent it to Stereogum, and an hour and a half later, I saw it posted with a quote of mine, and everyone had a good chuckle until you Third Eye Blind fans took things way too seriously. I would apologize for offending your beloved band and your tastes, but I think we’re actually the ones that deserve the apology after listening to that.
If this song is about the Guided by Voices song then I don’t think I can listen to that song ever again because I will always remember this god awful noise (in no way can this noise created by Third Eye Blind be considered a “song”)
You guys are all idiots! Yeah the lyrics are odd but it’s a good song. If you find out the meaning of the song it’s easier to listen to. It’s mainly saying are you real or fake and if you read the lyrics carefully you can see that. So fuck all of you who are just ripping on this song because you just don’t see any meaning to song all you hear are some odd lyrics that don’t make sense. Make sense of it and you’ll like it because I was skeptical at first until I listened to it more and gave it a chance unlike everyone else leaving these shitass comments.
You know what they say about writers. If you can’t publish, teach. Same with music I guess. If you can’t perform, criticize!
Why not just let people express themselves and accept it at face value. I don’t understand the rush to demonize and crush the song. You’re not just trying to criticize it; you’re trying for some unknown reason to stomp it to death, like a crime of passion.
DeadRussianAuthor,
I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend. You could cut ties with all the lies that you’ve been living in. And if you do not want to see me again, I would understand.
(But honestly, relax about this. If it angers you so much to see the negative comments — which have stopped, by the way since your faction’s comment hijacking makes it pointless to say otherwise — just don’t read it and ignore it.)
So?
Matador makes fun of 3EB:
http://www.matadorrecords.com/matablog/2008/11/17/congrats-to-third-eye-blind-on-discovering-their-own-paradigm/
OK, will do…my work is done.
You don’t have an argument. We can get landlocked for centuries in the game of whether an artist who sells then becomes a sell-out. I’m not going there. It’s an inane point. Every artist wants an audience, even if it’s just himself. He wants to be pleased with his work. When others are also pleased by what he creates, and his art conveys, that’s “selling out”? Is every commercially successful band a sell-out? The Rolling Stones? Sell-outs? I’m not arguing this stupid point.
It’s selling out when he writes FOR the money or when the label has influence on the art, the performance, the recording, the marketing, the branding, etc. etc. and when that influence is specifically geared towards shifting units [as opposed to improving the artwork's central premises].
When something is tested and focused and branded and rebranded as a product and then blasted on radio stations and in commercials and on TV shows in order to create the sense of familiarity that leads to pop hits [people like what they recognize], then it’s a sell out. I like the Albini philosophy: your audience will find you. That way, you never change to fit the audience you’ve been forced on.
Oh and this gem: “You know what they say about writers. If you can’t publish, teach.”
Most do both. Good luck becoming a Professor without having been published.
And I guess you’re just the man to sort through the complexity of another person’s motivations. Somehow, some way, you know Stephan Jenkins and 3eb are sell-outs. Fascinating, if it wasn’t so pathetically narcissistic. What actual evidence do you have that Jenkins hasn’t, as you say, allowed the audience to find him? Because his music is being conveyed via a recording contract? Is that all you got?
I am a college professor, so I know about publishing and teaching. I’m talking about a novelist.
A college professor defending 3eb? Dwuh?! I hope you do not teach an arts-related field. Hopefully, only engineering students are subjected to forced 3eb listening sessions while studying circuits.
It’s pretty obvious when someone lends their one-hit song to a Disney Movie about a happy-go-lucky stuffed Tiger that the bottom dollar means more to them than anything else. By virtue of signing with a major label outright, as opposed to working independently at least for the first few records without the major label marketing system also betrays Jenkins’ position. He didn’t let his audience find him. He made music videos. He sought radio play. He used marketing techniques. He put his music in commercials. He put it in bad movies. He adopted the major label marketing strategy that was undoubtedly designed for him [that's how labels work, I'm not going to get into personal stuff, but I know that's how labels work]. He signed for exposure and he released music as a financial strategy. That’s the exact opposite of letting the audience find you. For an audience to find an artist, that audience has to be the type that looks for it, e.g., ignores traditional media outlets or at least ignores their recommendations, because that audience knows better than to trust marketing outlets, as opposed to friends, fellow artists, or trustworthy critics/sources, of which there are few to none in the mainstream art and music world [because label cash has so corrupted it since the 1960s].
And anyone whose seen a clip from that tour doc 3eb did a while ago knows the guy is at least a bewildering egomaniac with little respect for the contributions of his bandmates. They certainly didn’t seem happy about the “art” or the relationship. So one must assume his bandmates are also sell-outs, in that they deal with his attitude and direction to get the check at the end of the day [Jenkins has even said as much before].
And I know you meant novelists. Every writing professor I ever learned from had published at least one novel. Even at city colleges and the like, the writing professors have generally published at least short stories in respectable magazines. A more appropriate saying would be, “those who write often also teach.”
Where do you teach anyway?
I don’t agree that proactively creating a market is selling out. At the end of the day, of what real value is a creation without a platform? People aren’t islands. Is it really possible for an audience to “find” art without the artist first creating some opportunity, however small, for it to be found?
OK, I have to set this part of the argument aside and turn to something about which I agree with you. I am also bothered that in all the concerts I’ve seen — 10+ — he almost pathologically elevates himself while diminishing his mates, betraying that 3eb is not a band of creative equals. I have to agree with you on that. And that bothers me. On the other hand, maybe he’s just not the collaborating type. He’s obviously quite gifted intellectually. I know some of the band’s original fans were not happy that Kevin Cadogan was essentially forced out. Who knows. Maybe he has settled on the one and only professional relationship that enables him to effectively create.
Having said all that, I do love the music. And I do believe he’s genius, however one wishes to define it.
Johns Hopkins.
BULLSHIT.
IP verified. bullshit.
You’re a fool. That myspace belongs to someone else — perhaps a kindred spirit, but it’s not me. I’ve offered to prove it and I’m happy to. Get a clue dude.
If you want to hear a GOOD version of this song, listen to FAKE PLASTIC TREES by Radiohead. Same concept but with actual intelligent, poetic lyrics.
Except the “A new love, Is burning up in me, Cause one in four American girls has an STD” line. That’s really brilliant, and why I only fuck European girls without a condom.