thirdeyeblind_nondairycreamer.jpg

Third Eye Blind (you remember, from the ’90s?) quietly released a new single a few weeks ago. Reader Michael points out that frontman Stephan Jenkins quotes “Paper Planes” (I thought we buried that?) in its final minute, a fact I missed when I first heard the song and failed to make it through the whole thing. He writes…

Third Eye Blind’s new single “Non-Dairy Creamer” is pretty much golden in all the worst ways. You really should post something about it, because it not only has some, uhh –noteworthy — lyrics (In short, it begins to talk about KFC chicken not really being chicken and there is a “Young gay Republicans!” chant breakdown.) More interesting, though, is that the final minutes of the song quotes MIA’s “Paper Planes.”

Brace yourselves.

KFC, STDs, M.I.A. … LOL. I don’t even mind Third Eye Blind when they come on XM Lucy. But this song could not go unpunished. Lyrics here in case you need to deface anyone’s Facebook wall.

The Red Star EP is out Tuesday on Sony.

UPDATE: Stephan Jenkins responds.

Comments (303)
  1. thecharles  |   Posted on Nov 14th, 2008 0

    this song is “breathtaking”. truly amazing……….

    • 3EB is love  |   Posted on Nov 20th, 2008 0

      When I first heard this song, I though Stephen had turned into a lunatic. But after reading and looking at the lyrics, they truly do make sense. I totally get some of the cheesy humor, about KFC and implants, but underneath it really does send out a message. People need to learn to read between the lines.

    • Cerrah  |   Posted on Nov 21st, 2008 0

      Wow.. Alot of you guys really didn’t get the joke at all. did you. Maybe because its so flat in your face and dry a bit like british humor. I guess one must have a taste for it. i like corny jokes…..so its in for me HAHAHAHA.. Take a breather and laugh people!

  2. I hear “Paper Planes” is all over Slumdog Millionaire (so seeing it this weekend), which will probably be Oscar bait, so we’ve got a ways to go.

    • Eric  |   Posted on Nov 22nd, 2008 0

      It plays during two segments. One the original song as we see the two young protagonist make a living on a train. The second time is a remix that is actually kind of cool. The movie is pretty incredible. Took me by surprise and definitely my favorite of the year. Danny Boyle keep impressing me with his versatility.

      By the way, this song sucks balls.

  3. Dano  |   Posted on Nov 14th, 2008 0

    Oh dear God. I’m not even kidding, this is either the worst song ever recorded or the most horribly executed use of irony the world has ever known. Either way, it sucks.

  4. The whole song I was waiting for him to rhyme “non-dairy creamer” with ring-tailed lemur. I thought for sure it was going to happen.

  5. This band does have a place in my heart. Alas, lyrically, this song is horrendous. …I am digging “Red Star” though.

  6. carter  |   Posted on Nov 14th, 2008 0

    turrible, just turrible

  7. Rob  |   Posted on Nov 14th, 2008 0

    The best part about not liking them in the late 90s is the lack of regret I now feel.

    Maybe he should write a Law and Order episode if he wants to take a “ripped from the headlines” approach to his lyrics? But hey, he dated Charlize Theron.

  8. Agreed – this song is so bad it makes you wonder if these guys are actually serious. Maybe they’re shilling for the faux-dairy industry? Will there be a margarine anthem before Christmas?

  9. yomomma  |   Posted on Nov 14th, 2008 0

    At least it wasn’t another “Ode to Obama” abortion.

  10. Ahhh… that familiar lisp brings back so many memories.

  11. The Verve Pipe  |   Posted on Nov 14th, 2008 0

    We have a new song too, it’s called “the Sophomores.” It’s awesome, you should check it out.

  12. Wow… this sucks…but I still think Blue was a great album.

  13. i think its suppostah be a joke ….. how’s it gunna be when you eat splenda.

  14. is the “what’s it gonna be?” part a chorus or something? this song is so confusing. how do you even write a song like this? i have a feeling he wrote the lyrics first and then just strummed random chords and kind of sang over it. or something.

  15. Jason  |   Posted on Nov 14th, 2008 0

    This is astounding. And what on earth is he even trying to say with the gay marriage bit? Is he stating his opposition to it or what? This is just crazy and confusing.

  16. b.LOUD  |   Posted on Nov 14th, 2008 0

    I’m sorry but I didn’t think it was bad at all. I thought the line about breast implants and missiles with the vocal melody was interesting.

  17. captain  |   Posted on Nov 14th, 2008 0

    more importantly, was the non-dairy creamer explicitly laid out like a fruit cake?

  18. big boss  |   Posted on Nov 14th, 2008 0

    This is a very political song. Third Eye Blind are amazing. How many bands have hits that are about meth love, cum facials, hiv, suicide, etc.

    The funny thing is that the average listener doesn’t even know what their hits are about, and if they did, they would be shocked.

    This band came to our college and promised to play if Obama won. Yee haw!

  19. i love how some of you will defend the killers but eat these guys alive.

    same shit!

  20. allah  |   Posted on Nov 14th, 2008 0

    Amen

  21. brody  |   Posted on Nov 14th, 2008 0

    what am i so afraid of?

    this song becoming popular. ugh

  22. Walter  |   Posted on Nov 14th, 2008 0

    This song is no worse than 98.8 % of the shit that’s on this blog.

  23. internet gangsta  |   Posted on Nov 14th, 2008 0

    Wait, what is this YouTube embeddable audio player you’re using? Is it new?

    Also, coherent as it is, I missed which part was a Paper Planes quote….

    • dedobleve  |   Posted on Nov 15th, 2008 0

      @Internet gangsta: The YouTube embedded audio is actually a cheat. They just chopped off the top of the video window in the HTML.

      • Yeah I was looking into that too… I think that all you need to do is just change the “height” part of the player in the HTML.

  24. Chrissy  |   Posted on Nov 14th, 2008 0

    This is the best song out right now. You know that right?

  25. matthew  |   Posted on Nov 15th, 2008 0

    This song is awesome. Sure the lyrics are weird. But they are meant to be. The instrumental track is pure genious. Your falling into the trap.

  26. Third Eye Blind is like, the most 90s thing ever.

  27. alex  |   Posted on Nov 15th, 2008 0

    i dont know, aside from the terrible lyrics, it’s not that bad. weird kick drum sound though. it sounds fine in the mix but when it’s featured it sounds really… squishy. but yeah, very bizarre song.

  28. Adam Duritz  |   Posted on Nov 15th, 2008 0

    Is that intro lifted from “Sunday Bloody Sunday”? This song is an abortion in every way.

  29. I keep telling myself that this is a joke…

    As it turns out there appears to be a remix contest of this song! So by all means, tear it apart!

    3eb was one of my favorite bands when I was in high school, there’s no shame on that. You know why, cause they had some good songs. Blue was decent too. When I heard their last album, Out of the Vein, I wept. What a lousy album… and that was back in 03!

    I’m seriously considering deleting all the songs in my hard drive and burning my cds. That’s how horrified I am.

  30. Bender Bending Rodriguez  |   Posted on Nov 15th, 2008 0

    Wow, that was deep. I would like to subscribe to his newsletter. You know, more singers should be political, because they are generally such gifted geniuses, armed with historical references and in-depth analysis. For me to poop on.

  31. The song is supposed to be lampooning the people it’s about. Even though its a failed attempt at humor, it’s meant to be as funny as it is awful.

  32. indiemediaboy  |   Posted on Nov 15th, 2008 0

    You guys are crazy! Third Eye Blind are so brilliant, fab, etc.

    Lyrically, nobody cuts like them. Songs about suicide, drugs, sexual deviance are like no others.

    Educate yourself about Third Eye Blind before you comment, kids.

    They are the best alternative band going right now. You can’t deny their power.

    BTW — “Non Dairy Creamer” is supposed to be a goof.

    It’s about as sarcastic and liberal a song can get. Young gay republicans, etc.

    • Delia  |   Posted on Mar 13th, 2009 0

      Thank you! Apparently some people don’t understand sarcasm and dry humor. Idiots. There’s no homophobia in this song, they’re making fun of all the tools who act like they have a stick up their ass. People need to quit taking everything at face value and I don’t know, think a little? “Mission Accomplished’ Amen to that!

  33. K2  |   Posted on Nov 15th, 2008 0

    This song is both musically and lyrically atrocious. Those defending 3eb as anything more than a pathetic guilty pleasure [of musical value equal to the worst of the New Radicals catalogue] must not like music very much.

    The chord progression goes nowhere. The four to the floor is completely inappropriate. The vocal melody sounds barely scripted. The lyrics are unrepentantly bad. It doesn’t matter if they’re a parody. It’s a bad parody. A terrible one. The lyrics are as pointless in inane as the English hook of a Japanese pop song. If it’s a political commentary, the final result is completely obtuse. The part about gay marriage makes no sense. Even if he’s trying to give a liberal perspective on the matter, using the phrase, “just a’couple’a queens” reenforces homophobia as “other” to begin with, as does, in a less obvious way, “two gay guys.”

    Then there’s that moronic string part repeating the melodic motif with terrible terrible convoluted sub-Phish jamming at the end. It’s as if a 17-23 year old curly-haired douche from Orange County [who enjoys hiking and camping with his bros] got a hold of a Philip Glass recording and made a YouTube vid of him jamming along with it.

    Lastly, I can’t stop listening to it.

  34. steve  |   Posted on Nov 15th, 2008 0

    I tried to listen to the entire song, but I had to pause at the halfway point to go shit blood.

  35. I don’t care how sarcastic/genius/whatever this song supposedly is; it’s awful. I listened to these guys in high school too, but even the nostalgia doesn’t make this any less pathetic.

  36. I dated Charlize Theron  |   Posted on Nov 15th, 2008 0

    I don’t use words like “hero” lightly, but that Jenkins…

  37. massromantic  |   Posted on Nov 15th, 2008 0

    “Towards the end of September 2008, Third Eye Blind released the song Non-Dairy Creamer to fans… On October 16th, the same day that the Non-Dairy Creamer contest came to a close, the next song in the competition titled “Don’t Believe a Word” was released”

    wow stereogum, it’s good to see you’re ahead of the times.
    even wikipedia beat you to this.

    [link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_Eye_Blind#Ursa_Major_.282009.29

  38. Me  |   Posted on Nov 15th, 2008 0

    Hey elitists!…………just wanted to tell you I hate all of you. Have a good night.

  39. ThousandJulys  |   Posted on Nov 16th, 2008 0

    All these dopey, dumbass critics suck.

  40. Matt  |   Posted on Nov 16th, 2008 0

    As a longtime fan of 3eb, it is refreshing to hear new music from them. Maybe you dont like the lyrical content, but you gotta admit that this track has some incredible music. And it is catchy enough for the masses. Watch out because 3eb is going to be back in a big way one the album is actually released.

  41. DeadRussianAuthor  |   Posted on Nov 16th, 2008 0

    All these dopey, dumbass critics suck. Nothing like a bunch of stupid fingerpainters criticizing true art.

    • Chris N  |   Posted on Nov 16th, 2008 0

      True art!? Seriously? I think maybe that’s stretching things a bit.

    • k2  |   Posted on Nov 17th, 2008 0

      Hahahhahahaah! True art?!? Yeah, this song is definitely a Goya painting or Black Saint and the Sinner Lady. This isn’t art, this is commercial product, and worse, it’s terrible, terrible commercial product. Like a bottle of Nair advertised as jock itch cream.

      By the way, Stephen, I wish you good luck with the record sales, buddy! Sorry you jumped the shark two records ago, man.

    • SlidesOffTheMoon  |   Posted on Apr 6th, 2009 0

      That’s because critics today have no comprehension of anything with TALENT! That is why we loyal 3eb fans have had to become what we are. We have to appreciate from affair. You are in today’s battle of ignorance, bliss and self absorption. Mindless people can’t be taught or shown what is art. It is something seen with your heart your soul, things people of today are aparently born without.
      I say if people don’t like it then Don’t listen! Stephan can continue going on without haters at least he has the brains to be what he is today (NO ONE ON THIS Board can compare to intelligence Stephan has in his one pinky!! Glad there are more of us out there! My favorite line in Narcolepsy. ROCK ON!!

  42. Wow, good to see thirdeyeblind back in the limelite; sort of. The song is catchy as hell, which is sort of their trademark. Guitar work is pretty tight and the outro is awesome (with a shout out to MIA, or not).

    I’ve seen these guys live last year and they totally blew me away. It looks like they will capture the energy of their live shows into this record!

  43. DeadRussianAuthor  |   Posted on Nov 16th, 2008 0

    I’ve heard almost every song off this new album in 8 live shows since 2007. This album, especially Summer Town and Campfire (played live as Bonfire), will ROCK. Chris N. — have you ever actually written a song?

    • Chris N  |   Posted on Nov 16th, 2008 0

      Yes, I have actually, but that’s not the point. Writing a song doesn’t make you an artist, and not all music is real art. And even if this can be considered art, that doesn’t make it good or worth my time, even as a lowly fingerpainter (to use your analogy).

      • DeadRussianAuthor  |   Posted on Nov 16th, 2008 0

        Oh, so now you’re the judge of what is and what isn’t art?!! LOL. Doofus.

        • Chris N  |   Posted on Nov 16th, 2008 0

          Yes, I am.

          I don’t mind arguing, but resorting to name calling is pretty weak (doofus?). No need to get all wound up. I’ll keep my anti-3eb comments to myself; I obviously don’t know what I’m talking about. What was I thinking, a fingerpainter criticizing a true artist?

          I’m totally out of line. We’ll let other true artists, such as yourself, to make these important judgment calls.

          • DeadRussianAuthor  |   Posted on Nov 16th, 2008 0

            That would be fitting and proper. Thanks.

          • k2  |   Posted on Nov 17th, 2008 0

            DeadRussianAuthor, this is commercial product, pure and simple. It was made to shift units first, land in a product placement ad second, dupe dumbies to come to a concert third, etc. etc., participate in a tradition of art, somewhere around 473rd in the list of priorities. If Stephen Jenkins didn’t dupe a label into paying his bills, he wouldn’t have written this terrible music [under the tutelage of producers, the label, and the like], therefore it isn’t art. The product has superseded the art for him if it ever was an art. Making money, getting exposure and holding onto some shred of fame are almost certainly his priorities. Otherwise, he wouldn’t make this trite bubblegum. Real artists can’t do anything but create art. That’s why a lot of the good ones die poor, rather than in plush LA pads.

          • DeadRussianAuthor  |   Posted on Nov 17th, 2008 0

            OMG, you’re a genius K2. You should be a psychoanalyst. Here’s a little analysis for you. And it’s free. You sound like a frustrated and bitter musical wannabe.

          • k2  |   Posted on Nov 17th, 2008 0

            Haha. Dude, the day I play a 3eb song for a million dollars is the day I shoot myself in the head. Those songs are so bad, you couldn’t pay me enough. I love when people don’t know how to defend a pathetic argument they resort to calling someone a name. For all you know, I’m Mick Jagger.

          • Spencer  |   Posted on Nov 24th, 2008 0

            Can Dead Russian Poet go away please…

          • joshua ramsey  |   Posted on Dec 28th, 2008 0

            k2, jenkins is a genius. plus he started his own label so i guess you can say he signed himself before he wrote that kickass song. every 3eb show ive ever been too has been sold out. thay have a cult following and people who dont understand there music porbably like nickleback, buckcherry, staind and the like. talk about bands just trying to make money. jenkins has a masters from cal berkley in english chief…basiclly the guy could write good lyrics in his sleep. i bet you like those bands i listed previously plus puddle of mudd and douches like that.

  44. hokeydope  |   Posted on Nov 16th, 2008 0

    I appreciate a band that has a variety of music in their repertoire and not just a singular sound. Third Eye Blind has a song for any mood that I am in. This one will be the song I will want to listen to when traffic is getting to me ’cause it is light and fun.

  45. hokeydope  |   Posted on Nov 16th, 2008 0

    Third Eye Blind is a band that has a variety of music in their repertoire and not a singular sound. They have a song for any mood that I am in. This one will come in handy when I am stuck in traffic ’cause it is light and fun. It works for me.

  46. kathryn  |   Posted on Nov 16th, 2008 0

    Third Eye Blind is beyond the pop broken heart crap. Sucks some people can’t accept music that is beyond what they’ve experienced — this song forces people to look outside of the box. I love it.

  47. Will Q-Hall  |   Posted on Nov 16th, 2008 0

    What an insanely catchy tune, and officially now the anthem at my school residence. I can definitely see this song climbing the charts and I can?t wait to hear what the band releases next. Has anyone heard any news of a music video releasing with this single?

  48. deezy  |   Posted on Nov 16th, 2008 0

    i know the lyrics may be backdated, but you can’t argue with the catchiness of the song.

    give it a listen a few times – it’s an acquired taste.

    imagine if this song had come out in 2004 – it would have been a mega-hit in the upswing of anti-bushisms. yeah, it’s late now, but does that make it any less absurdly quirky?

    i, for one, dig the music if not the lyrics – and i bet if you listen to it a few times you’re going to end up singing it in your head for a while.

    at the very least, go check out their myspace for red star. that song is fucking amazing.

  49. KITW  |   Posted on Nov 16th, 2008 0

    Worst song of 2008?? Come on, with all that garbage rap music music out there, you really think this is worse?? I’ts not even the worst rock song of 2008 with the terrible new songs by Hinder and Nickelback hitting the airwaves.

    The lyrics aren’t the best, but they are enough to create a stir. ( I mean, look at this site itself) but the music itself sounds good.

  50. ordinaryday6  |   Posted on Nov 16th, 2008 0

    This song is fun and crazy, and that’s what it’s supposed to be. The lyrics are crazy, but they’re meant to comment on recent events. The music is awesome, and the song is catchy as hell!

    To Jason about gay marriage: the lyrics are “And two gay guys got married, and brought the family to it’s knees. How did they blow us to smithereens? Just a couple of queens. How did they do it, I’m tellin’ you now. They brought marriage to an end. And I found myself some culprits. It’s two young gay republicans.”

    the whole thing is ironic and farcical. the band is from san francisco, and stephan jenkins is extremely liberal, meaning he supports gay marriage. he’s commenting on the fact that republicans and religious people think gay marriage is ruining marriage, but then these people end up coming out of the closet as gay anyway..

    the song is strange, but it’s supposed to be strange. it doesn’t take itself seriously. it’s fun and really catchy. the music rocks.. the outro is awesome, even though i’d prefer the paper planes bit not be in there.

    i’m so glad that third eye blind is back.. the new album is going to be awesome!

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