Third Eye Blind (you remember, from the ’90s?) quietly released a new single a few weeks ago. Reader Michael points out that frontman Stephan Jenkins quotes “Paper Planes” (I thought we buried that?) in its final minute, a fact I missed when I first heard the song and failed to make it through the whole thing. He writes…
Third Eye Blind’s new single “Non-Dairy Creamer” is pretty much golden in all the worst ways. You really should post something about it, because it not only has some, uhh –noteworthy — lyrics (In short, it begins to talk about KFC chicken not really being chicken and there is a “Young gay Republicans!” chant breakdown.) More interesting, though, is that the final minutes of the song quotes MIA’s “Paper Planes.”
Brace yourselves.
KFC, STDs, M.I.A. … LOL. I don’t even mind Third Eye Blind when they come on XM Lucy. But this song could not go unpunished. Lyrics here in case you need to deface anyone’s Facebook wall.
The Red Star EP is out Tuesday on Sony.
UPDATE: Stephan Jenkins responds.
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this song is amazing!!! i don’t know what you all are talking about. Third Eye Blind is a classic band with amazing songs.
I’d rather eat rat shit than to ever have to listen to these turds ever again.
Finally, I’m keeping company with the likes of Bucket Head-one of the greats! However, I keep my bucket tilted to the left for reasons of panache.
Nice link to your MySpace page, Stephan! You must be taking clues from Gavin, the social media genius! You’re doing a great job getting this new album together. Bravo old man!
Well, as the person who got the ball rolling on this discussion, I’m glad to see that you have a sense of humor. Now if you could confirm that humor was one of the main intents of the song, or just talk about it however you please, I think a lot of us would love to be clued in.
Nice riffs in the bridge, definitely.
I wasn’t too sure about this song at first, but it’s catchy as hell and I can’t get it out of my head. Whether you like the lyrics or not, the music is fantastic. I went to check out the other songs on the ep and they are even better. I can’t wait until the album comes out.
CLUSTERFUCK OF THE CENTURY!!!!!
i think it’s a funny song, with some good rifts. I don’t think he’s being serious, just saying random things. Take it for what its worth. If you think its s*** then that’s your opinion of it. I however enjoyed blaring it on my way to work this morning while listening to it for the first time. 3eb ROCKS!!!
Really quick, somewhat off topic, the Out Of The Vein album is greatly underrated. I think a lot of the songs are over looked and unappreciated. And for the record, I actually do like Non Dairy Creamer… it’s catchy and upbeat. I like it, and all of the bull shit about it being a shitty song is a matter of opinion. Nobody cares if you like it or if you hate it. Music is supposed to help extract emotion, and if 3eb succeeds in even the slightest of ways, they have created something worthwhile.
hey stereogum, do you usually get this many comments on your stories about THIRD EYE BLIND?!? are you KIDDING me!
seriously, though, does the rate of commenting go up in cold weather or something? this is outrageous. oh, and gabby d – incorrect. they have created something worthwhile, for me to poop on.
As of now, #2 with a bullet. Way to go kids, er, haters! You can offically get your “FUTURE” 3EB fix here. And if you’re disgusted, then why did you comment?
Unfortunately this comment section on Stereogum has come under attack by someone working for, or obsessed with Third Eye Blind (It’s probably their label.) It’s really kind of immature and pathetic, if you ask me. They have been basically spamming the comment section with the same rhetoric on how the song is good, how the EP is coming out, etc. and post under the most generic usernames without real accounts. Real Stereogum readers would never comment so much on the topic, let alone praise this track. They’ve gotten a bit more creative, though, by calling the lyrics “silly” and — if you look at gabby d’s comment — cursing (Oh, my…) You’ll even find some duplicates in there. If you ask me, Stereogum should track down the IP addresses from these people and block them from accessing the site.
So, attention Third Eye Blind’s interns, label marketing people, obsessed fan(s) and comment robots: Please stop and go away. You’re only making your has-been band with bottom-of-the-barrel lyrical skills, no talent and a complete artistic ineptness look even more pathetic and deserpate through this. You have been found out, and now the music world can see how much insecurity and a lack of confidence you have in seeing Third Eye Blind succeed due to a negative review on a music blog.
Michael, you are annoying, opinionated clown. I am one big fan. I speak for myself and no one else. Here’s what I think of this. Fans have been waiting 5 years for a new album. Third Eye Blind has made one song from the album available to fans ahead of the first actual single release, and somehow you clowns have pretended it’s the centerpiece of the new album! It isn’t! Judge them if you wish, but damn it man, wait until the entire album is out — then do it.
There are likely to be a number of successful singles ahead, whether you or any of the other jackass-naysayers here like it or not.
Actually, upon further review, I take back what I wrote. This really is a bad piece of work. Can it even be called music? I take back what I said about checking out 3EB’s new EP, and advise everyone to go to purchase an amazing find I found right here on Stereogum: This week’s MP3 Friendly Deal, The Wrens’ “Meadowlands.” For a mere $1.99, you can own an entire album, and not some poorly executed EP like Third Eye Blind are putting out. DeadRussianPoet, I am sorry, but I can no longer call myself a Third Eye Blind fan or stand up for Stephan’s work.
It’s actually “DeadRussianAuthor,” but that’s okay. To be quite honest with you, I have been re-reading some of the past post’s on here and many of them make much more sense than the ones I have been writing. For example, K2 pointed out many good points which I originally oversaw while assessing the artistic merits of this song. It turns out there are none. All of my fan boy worshipping now seems trivial, and pretty much pointless. Did I just waste a decade of my life praising a band who never should have been creating music to begin with?
Oh, and I agree with DeadRussianAuthor. MIchael, shut the fuck up. I’m sure that you interned at some small time record label or radio station and you think you know everything about the industry. Here’s what I know: no material that you’ve ever produced has gotten this much attention on any website. Anywhere. Go back to your MySpace page.
Yeah, sorry Sam-bo but I’ve never worked in the music industry and don’t even have a MySpace account (But I know you do, and it’s HTTP://WWW.MYSPACE.COM/THIRDEYEBLIND) I am just a regular person just like everyone else on this comment board who doesn’t need a job at some weak label, a band or a fancy PhD to be a college professor to know this is the one godawful song.
it’s interesting, that you and anyone else on here can bash the song, but as soon as someone supports it, they’re working for the band. i guess blanket negativity is cooler than actual discussion.
At first listen the lyrics certainly warrant a few WTF moments, but…the statement behind it is interesting even if he made some odd choices. Clearly the nay sayers on this blog have never ventured too far past the 3eb radio cuts, cause Jenkins has always dabbled with unconventional lyrics. Say what you will about this EP, cause I’ve heard most of the new record and it’s going to put you on your ass next year : )
I genuinely don’t know what’s going on here. I don’t even know what sort of comment to post.
First of all, for those people (if there are any?) that seriously think this song is good – you’re wrong. I’m not an indie hipster, I like my fair share of mainstream pop-rock – Counting Crows, Matchbox Twenty, Goo Goo Dolls – but this is just utter fucking shit. The self-titled 3EB debut was actually pretty good, for what it was. Since then, they’ve been getting steadily worse and have hit a new low with this piece of shit.
OK now, just to cover all my bases….
When I first heard this song, I was all like…WTF!? I thought the lyrics were atrocious. But then the more I heard it, the more I realised that the words were actually insanely intellectual and thought-provoking – I’m talking Bruce Dylan caliber here. Stephen is speaking to us on a level that no other pop stars even attempt and making us look within ourselves for answers. Not to mention how insanely catchy the guitar playing is. The middle-part really got me jumping around! LOL! All of you hipsters who are judging the band, please go to their MySpace page and listen to some of the other tracks off the Red Star EP, which is available now from all good retailers.
listen, you can’t rip stephan jenkins, alright? The man writes out there lyrics because his mind is out there. He does a lot of drugs and as time goes on he does more and more. So just because this doesn’t make sense to people who aren’t listening, doesn’t mean it’s a bad song. And for those of you who are judging this song based off their previous releases, stop being ignorant and go listen to their self-titled album. I recommend “I want you”, “motorcycle drive by” and “God of Wine”. There’s some crazy lyrics in there too, but they’re great songs.
I don’t know. I might be wrong. But I love TEB and I can’t see Jenkins getting ripped for not giving up his career and not say something about it. So relax. Get out an album of your own and make your own blog post, okay?
there’s a big difference between crazy lyrics and terrible lyrics, my friend.
I guess when you release a political album, and it’s left-leaning, you can expect to take a fair amount of potshots from right wing kooks. These are probably the same jackasses who refuse to believe that President-elect Obama is NOT a Muslim. Oh look, Fox News is on! Now get.
Excuse my language, but are you a fucking idiot. You do realize you are on Stereogum.com, which is an indie rock blog — which is basically a blue state through and through when it comes to the music blog world. Are you sure you are a “college professor,” seeing that you lack a certain common sense awareness. I see now you have resorted to dirty politics, because you can’t win your argument here. While you can post 100,000 comments about how “great” Third Eye Blind is, the truth is that even in silence, you are overwhelmingly outnumbered. Hell, even the first comment, on the Gummy Awards post took a nice stab at your beloved band. Listen, save yourself the stress and worry because nobody cares about your plight no matter how many comments you write. This is officially the worst song of 2008, as far as I (and a ton of other people) are concerned.
…and your sad, juvenile comments only punctuate that!
Who needs to “step back from that ledge, my friend” now?!! Asshole. Lighten up. Plight? What plight? I’m ecstatic the band is releasing new material — and couldn’t care less whether some two-bit fool like yourself thinks he found a cool story or not.
If you go back through the thread, dickhead, you’d see that I never once claimed it was a great song. I’m only defending their right to express themselves without the stifling tyranny of morons like you. Non Dairy Creamer is NOT the centerpiece of their new album, Ursa Major, which will, unfortunately for you, rock out. As time will prove.
LOL, you’re still the one who needs to step back, Stephan Jumper Jenkins lover. I am writing this all with the biggest shit-eating grin on my face, astounded how you can be provoked so easily and keep coming back for more. Everyone from k2, Sexual Robotics and myself are toying with your emotions at this point. (I am actually really good friends with k2, who you should know is a Grammy nominated musician with an intellect to fear, and man did he ever take you to school.) I would say quit while you’re ahead, but you never were in the first place. I am talked out, though and really have nothing else to say. Come 2009, I doubt the band’s new album will be on any Stereogum readers’ radars, even if a chance in hell lets a single become remotely popular. Do you want to know why? The answer is in the same reason this story got posted in the first place: Third Eye Blind is the punchline in a joke.
Kisses!
LOL. k2 was certainly much more of a challenge than your lame self — and I enjoyed the sparring with him (or her). Nothing else to say? You had nothing to say to begin with.
…and if you do make your own record, can you let me be the first to know about it? It’s just that I have never really been exposed to other artists outside of Third Eye Blind, and truth be told, it’s getting kind of old. I keep thinking that there is much better stuff out there, but I can’t seem to find it. Does anyone have any recommendations? Is this Wrens album that Stereogum selected for a special promotional price of $1.99 this week only at Amazon.com’s MP3 store any good?
I see what they’re trying to do. Make something witty, political and ironic. Talk about FAIL. I mean have these guys ever heard of trying to be subtle. I think I’ll write a new song for third eye blind. Lets’ call it AMERICA.
America by Third Eye Blind
America, yaaah.
McDonalds fries and Bush
Yeeaaah!
Mission Accomplished
Guantanamo Bay
Today is the day
Yeeaaah!
Proposition Eight
C’mon baby
let’s not hate!
YEAH!
Jesus, Guns, Rock N Roll
Intelligent Design, who wants more?
(guitar solo)
*add some rap lyrics from an artist that could possibly be considered “cool” but mainstream enough that everyone will know it*
….
Profit!
Anyone want to produce my next record?
Its funny how I just +1 your comment and 10 seconds later, that +1 disappeared. What I am picturing is some label intern positioned by this webpage all day who has been ordered to negate any critical remarks about Third Eye Blind through -1′s, and quite possibly by the time I finish writing this, a pro-3eb comment.
So I take it you’re willing to produce my record? Finally somebody who understand my “art”
Yeah man! According to the Third Eye Blind Fan Club, I work at a small time record label and apparently know everything about music. You’re basically a star already! Vanessa Carlton, here we come…
And I guess I’ll say the same thing I did on the lyrics page for this song…
I don’t think this song is about all the surface stuff, random things he mentions in the song…it’s deeper than that.
I think it’s about how everything is so superficial in this world…
-KFC is now referred to that by ALL their ads because of the world’s kick on being healthy…Kentucky FRIED Chicken doesn’t exactly sound too healthy to me..I don’t know about the rest of you?
-Guy on the pulpit (aka someone people would GENERALLY trust/believe in) being a liar…
-Young gay republicans…I’m no expert in American politics but aren’t the Republicans mostly AGAINST gay/lesbian rights to get married, etc?
-Nondairy Creamer…how can cream be NON dairy…it’s CREAM
Should I go on…..
thanks for the insight. i like the song now cause its good and stuff.
If this song is about the modern, superficial world then it is a major fail. Might I suggest an avenue that exemplifies this theme.
OK Computer – Radiohead
“Its lyrics and visual artwork emphasise common themes such as consumerism, social disconnection, political stagnation and modern malaise.” – wikipedia
This is an example of how you do it right.
I swear to all of you, ACTUAL stereogum readers, that this post was made public to one of the 3eb message boards… where else would you get such a massive hateful/you guys don’t know anything about music/this song is awesome replies!
I personally hate it when people think that questioning what a certain artist has done makes them less of a fan. If anything, acknowledging their faults should make them appreciate the good stuff even more.
Like I said, this song is a true disgrace, not even as a joke/sarcastic song could be considered good. This is what they’ve fallen into, a “let’s make more hits!” machine. If you ask me the true gems of these guys were the demos and b-sides: All Right Caroline, Scattered, Gorgeous.. any of you childish fan that are coming back every day to spill more hate on these blog must know what I’m talking about.
The reason this song is better than half the shit out there right now in the most ridiculous way, is that its not subtle! It’s honest! TEB create songs that are real and lyrically intelligent. Believe me, this band DOES NOT sell out. The fans love it that way. They haven’t sold out since their self titled debut in circa 97, and it wasn’t because it was catchy or poppy at times. It’s also great to see a college professor defending 3rd eye blind , especially since lead singer Jenkins graduated UC berkley at the top of his class.
lyrically intelligent? Please tell me you’re kidding.
“Hot Cheetos for breakfast,
Make a young student sickened.
Did you ever think someones tricking you?”
Intelligent?
Oh they are talking about the over marketing of junk foods on our culture and how people continue to eat them and LOLOMG THEY R TRICKING US! Yes I’m all abou this.. Fuck you frito lay!
They just throw random bullshit references to what they see as negative images of American society. Japanese pop put together better lyrics than this.
You people need to simply relax. Do you really think it matters what you have to say about this song? I am personally a huge Third Eye Blind fan for their relatable lyrics and their catchy music. Sure, I wasn’t so accepting of Non-Dairy Creamer at first, but it has grown on me tremendously. Nonetheless, when you haters come on here spewing your nonsense, do you think it will suddenly make the fans change their minds? The fans, who actually form their opinions of Third Eye Blind from songs other than “Non-Dairy Creamer” and “Never Let You Go”, know how talented of a lyricist Stephan Jenkins really is. So to you kids that think you’re so clever by targeting these devoted 3eb fans: just go off and listen to that music that you think is so independent and unique; when really you only listen to it because it has been approved by Stereogum and Pitchfork. I’ll stay here and listen to what appeals to me. It’s different for each and every person, so don’t think your snobby opinion is superior to another’s…because it simply isn’t.
If you don’t like what we’re saying, don’t read the comments section.
Hi, I’m Stephan Jenkins and even I think this song pretty much spewed out of my ass.
I won’t jump to Third Eye Blind’s defense (this is pretty bad), but the people on a polemic against commercialized music need to cool it a bit. To claim that nobody is an artist unless he’s visited by desperation, strife and poverty is pretty outrageous – even a lot of independent musicians (surely ones at major indie labels like Matador, Beggars, XL, etc.) likely wouldn’t do what they’re doing if they couldn’t make a living off of it. To demand an ascetic life of modern musicians just doesn’t make sense; it’s anachronistic. Hell, Carl Newman (New Pornographers/AC Newman) in an interview was asked what he saw himself doing musically down the road and he said that he’d write for “as long as [he] could make a living” doing it…he’s no less of an artist because of it, I’d argue.
So, taking the incredibly well-trodden “sell-out” argument out of the equation, why is this song bad? In my mind, it pretends to be satire, and it’s not, and it’s really not that catchy. Not the worst thing ever, but…eh. But for those of you who are trying to disparage it in light of high art (somebody referenced Francisco de Goya, a Descartes quote was tossed around)…let that go; it’s an inapt comparison to think that pop rock musicians (yes this is pop rock) could be held to standards like that. Which isn’t to say that musicians can’t make great, meaningful art. It happens all the time. But don’t expect any more from Third Eye Blind than what they’ve given us before. Fun tunes that aren’t as derivative as a lot of the crap out there. Even if their new material sucks, it’ll likely be on their own, self-indulgent terms.
Oh and DeadRussianAuthor, props for the “Narcolepsy” reference.
Oh and if you really want a laugh, check out the awkwardly frank sexuality in “Why Can’t You Be,” where true love is likened to a massaging showerhead
Well, there you have it Michael. As your cute little game winds down, the little fan has taken on the elitist machine — and won. I will always fearlessly take on any and all combatants from all sides, and state my case with vigor, and even snarl a little if necessary. Now, if you will do me the grand favor of holding your forked tongue until the entire album comes out…
And Michael, intellect is never to be feared;it is to be appreciated, engaged, harnessed, and put to good uses — even if that use is merely to provoke.
Like another Stereogum reader mentioned above – I was immediately reminded of Guided By Voices “Hot Freaks.” Third Eye Blind was, is and always will be a horrible, Guitar Center catalog, library books returned on time, ill fitting Hanes returned with a receipt, diet soda with fast food salad, shitty favorite novel flat tire of a musical outfit. Picture it this way most people don’t give a shit, they have been able to make for themselves what one might refer to (or they might refer to?) as a semi-charmed career.
Why don’t you enlighten us all, skippy. Which band (or two) passes your elitist standards for what rocks? And specifically how are they different? Again, I reiterate. I watch every musician play his instrument in awe, whether that’s Third Eye Blind, a full orchestra, or a street player on any corner in San Francisco or New Orleans. I have a difficult time presenting that level of criticism to ANY musician of any type of any stripe.
Actually, DeadRussianAuthor, let me enlighten everyone about who you really are, thanks to your very easily Google-able MySpace profile(http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=2674231 or http:www.myspace.com/theironist):
First off, you’re 25 years old, you live in Rialto, CA, and you are surely not a college professor:
Status: Single
Orientation: Straight
Ethnicity: Latino / Hispanic
Religion: Agnostic
Zodiac Sign: Libra
Children: Someday
Smoke / Drink: N/A / N/A
Education: In college
Income: No Answer
Schools:
Downey High
Downey,CA
Graduated: 2001
Student status: Alumni
Here’s how you describe yourself: “I hope in the end, I’ll remember the start. Words are my drugs and I take them all in line by line. I drag my feet, before I run. I can’t fly, but I could jump. I’d roll before, I’d crawl. I’d bend before, I’d brake. I’ve willed but never prayed. Love be my altitude, lift me up. Pictures in motion move me. The right vibrations could crush me. The right still could kill me. I see life in laughter, let’s laugh it up.
And as for you who you’d like to meet?: “I thought you understood, when I said that you’re my altitude…”
Let’s take a look at some of your favorite bands, now
(Admittingly, most of them are not bad at all. It’s too bad you decided to make a fool of yourself on here defending Third Eye Blind, out of all of them…): Third Eye Blind, The Libertines, The Cure, The Clash, The Police, Motion City Soundtrack, Bloc Party, My Chemical Romance, Phantom Planet, Ben Folds, Elliot Smith, Radiohead, Damien Rice, Kanye West, The Rolling Stones, Nick Drake, U2, Interpol, Blur, Gorillaz, The Streets, The Moldy Peaches, Echo and The Bunnymen, The Killers, Muse, Bright Eyes, Stone Temple Pilots, 311, Nine Inch Nails, Coldplay, Pete Yorn, The Bravery, Belle and Sebastian, Rufus Wainwright, The Smiths, The Shins, Pinback, Remy Zero, The Who, New Radicals, Tears for Fears, Imogen Heap, Modest Mouse, Oasis, Unwritten Law, Deathcab For Cutie, Ryan Adams, The Used, The Distillers, The Verve, Richard Ashcroft, Zwan, Smashing Pumpkins, Beck, Stan Getz
You seem to like the words, a lot, too. Let’s take a look at one of the blog posts you made on November 4, 2007 entitled “On My Days” (Did Mr. Jenkins help on these, perhaps?):
A breeze catches on my jacket
And drags me through the air
I’m not falling, just drifting somewhere
And maybe it seems like I’ve never cared
It wouldn’t be so off
but if I was never such a wreck
I’d dream of lower heights
I’d hang with monarchs in the sky
And baby they’d say
Ease up off the ground
It’s coming up fast
Might leave you up-side down
I might be falling, and I don’t know where
So it seems like I might not care
When I’m coasting up with the wind in my hair
And I past by on my days
And never get nowhere
but baby you know I do
You know I do
Or I wouldn’t be so off
Or I wouldn’t yell and shout
It also says that your MySpace music playlist includes two 3eb tracks (“Why Can’t You Be” — the one about the shower head, “Red Star”), among Placebo, DCFC, Rolling Stones, Beck and a few others.
Anyway, congratulations on your win here on Stereogum.
DeadRussianAuthor and Michael_, I officially banish both of you from the kingdom of Stereogum. You will be guided by some of my men to a small island in the Petty Argument Ocean off the coast of Who the Fuck Cares. There you will be free to have sex with each other day and night while discussing the artistic merits of Third Eye Blind.
Unfortunately, you may never agree on a compromise because YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE DIFFERENT MUSIC APPRECIATION STANDARDS. But I think I speak for most Stereogum readers when I say: DeadRussianAuthor, we think your opinions on “Non-Dairy Creamer” (“TRUE ART”) are laughable. And Michael_, we mostly just think you are kind of a douchebag.
You know, the “true art” comment was a facetious opener, a reaction to the reaction. I simply don’t like tyranny and facism of any kind. That’s my principal point, and I’ve made it. Bye.
Who’s resorting to “juvenile” games? (As if this conversation was ever anything more than mere entertainment.) First of all, you’re badly mistaken about my identity. Second of all, if you released that information thinking it was fact, you’ve proven you have absolutely no integrity.
BTW, of the bands you identified with which I have some familiarity, I like them all! As I said, a street musician on any corner brings me great personal joy — impressed to admiration with a skill to play that I don’t possess. Oh, and add in Augustana, Keane, The All American Rejects, Jimmy Eat World, and Snow Patrol.
You’re a puppy dog, Michael, ever so needy of approval of the musical “heavyweights” who apparently frequent here among whom you so secretly wish to relate.
You’ve met your match, dear boy. When you’re in a hole, stop digging. Learn it, live it, love it.
DeadRussianAuthor,
I don’t know if I mentioned this (yes, I did), but you are banished. You and Michael_ both. There is a skeleton playing a xylophone with his ironically intact penis that will give you immense personal joy on Who the Fuck Cares island, the one I mentioned earlier, where you are going to go and have sex with Michael_ on.
Again, your opinion of this song being “true art” is fine. It is also laughable. Entertaining, for sure. Oh, and Michael_ is a douchebag, like I said earlier, so we can both laugh at him. But you will have sex with him also.
You read what the man said, DeadRussianAuthor– Let’s get it on, baby!
Haha, I don’t know why you insist on lying. The links speak for themselves, and if you are going about changing that to pretend none of it really existed or that profile with the name “Dead Russian Poet” with Third Eye Blind love all over the place is somehow not you, well, you must think people are idiots. It’s not like I did not already take screen captures of them to upload on here, or anything… If you read the comment above by The King, I am kind of a douschebag.
I don’t need the approval of anyone, unlike you who needs to post 20+ comments defending yourself each time someone breaks you down. You’re not my match, dude. You’re just a whiney emotional bitch of a wannabe write who needs a good slap.
It is not me, creeper. That is fact. Since you’re a technological marvel, why don’t you tell me how I can prove it to you? “I read dead Russian authors volumes at a time” is part of a lyric from the song Narcolepsy, from the band’s first album. I’m sure I’m not the first person to assume that name for purposes of punching creeps like you in the nose. Suggest a prescription for Ritalin, for you.
…a lyric that you loved so much to make your MySpace name? I can see if it was a mere coincidence if the person had noted 3eb once in the profile, but the fact to the matter is that profile has Third Eye Blind emblazoned on it in all aspects, has “DeadRussianAuthor” as it’s name, and even has your over-emotional personality style written in the words. You basically are a chronic liar with a problem and have been arguing with a 19 year old college student for the past week. Congratulations. For your stellar incompetence, I have been given the dubious honor of awarding us the unofficial Gummy Award for “Year’s Most Pointless Argument on Stereogum.” Now can we start making our way to that Island?
Michael_,
I’m not sure if REALLY read my decree. Please read it again, and start packing your things (all of your physical albums) for your boat ride to WHO THE FUCK CARES island.
Goodbye!
Sincerely,
The King
wow. that’s just…wow. i don’t even know where to start. my gut hurts from laughing so hard.
and as for the saga of michael and the dead russian, goodness gracious people! let others have at it too.
I give up on these two, everybody. I am going to go outside and be a person. Have fun rotting away in front of your constantly refreshing computer screens, you two lovebirds.
PS. I still think banishment was a good idea. You could have had lots of sex with each other while whispering “send me all your vampires” to each other. Alas….
You are wrong, pure and simple. You didn’t tell me how I could prove it. Fascist! Bye, my work here is done.
Well, I apologize for offending you (I truly do.) At some point we probably should have just reigned it in by agreeing to disagree. You did target me, which was kind of unfair because all I was really doing was saying that the board had been infilitrated by a bunch of spam comments from Third Eye Blind’s label, fan club or something orchestrated. That is not fair to Stereogum and Stereogum readers in general, including you who I am not sure if your comments were separate from their’s but it didn’t help you get your point across.
Also, if that truly is not your MySpace profile, then what a strange coincidence…
I hope this ends this once and for all.
third eye blind still makes music?
fas·cism
Pronunciation:
\?fa-?shi-z?m also ?fa-?si-\
Function:
noun
Etymology:
Italian fascismo, from fascio bundle, fasces, group, from Latin fascis bundle & fasces fasces
1: a political philosophy, movement, or regime (as that of the Fascisti) that exalts nation and often race above the individual and that stands for a centralized autocratic government headed by a dictatorial leader, severe economic and social regimentation, and forcible suppression of opposition
2: a tendency toward or actual exercise of strong autocratic or dictatorial control
3: person who thinks third eye brown sucks.
MIchael, I also apologize to you. There’s no person on the planet I couldn’t have a beer with and enjoy conversation about music — and I would learn a lot in the process. There are people here who have far more technical knowledge about music than I, as well as experience in the industry (I have none); I’m just a run-of-the-mill fan of just about any performing artist — because that’s not a skill set I have (I’m actually an economist!).
I have never commented on a music blog in my entire life. I’m sorry for the occasional foray into harshness. And if I double-posted, it’s purely due to clumsiness, not an attempt to spam the place. LOVE MUSIC!!
Oh that got nice there.
but HEY just wanted to say, this song is absolute shit!
probably one of the worst I’ve heard of the year, yep.
I was shocked when I scrolled down the comments section though and saw sooo many defenders of it, it was hilare. but then I realized it was all either that DRA guy, or some of his cronies.
seriously though eh, shit song.
this is almost as epic as that 30 seconds to mars thread
WHEEEEEE
“with this guitar, the songs write themselves.”
i now believe it.
Judging from the type of people posting on here they should change the name of the site to Stereodumb.
I WAS JUST WONDERING IF DEADRUSSIANAUTHOR BOY READS PROUST VOLUMES AT A TIME WHILE K2 AND MICHAEL_ PUT ON THE TIGHTEST DIRTIEST HIPSTEREST POSSIBLE JEANS THEY CAN FIND AND MAJORLY GET OFF BY SLAPPING HIM IN TEH FACE AND TAKING SHITS ON HIS 3EB AUTOGRAPHED IPOD WHILE HE READS PROUST IN THE CORNER SOBBING AND WRITING BAD POETRY?
Hey, hey, hey – I ended this. No more provocation. Also, your caps lock is on.
Also, what the hell are you talking about?
I’M TALKING ABOUT 3EB MAKING YOU BREAKFAST IN BED KING OF WHO THE FUCK CARES ISLAND
This may be my massochism talking but I like it.Its just too horrible not to enjoy.
your all a bunch of clowns, the song was supposed to be funny and make you think, if your not a fan then don’t listen to it its that simple. obviously im a fan, but that doesn’t even matter at this point, your all getting heated over an online forum that doesnt effect anyone personally except for maybe the feelings of my boy stephan jenkins lol. now back the fuck off and go do something productive.. and buy 3eb’s new album when it comes out
LOL music is objective and no one is ever going to 100% agree on what they like. if you don’t like it, i have an idea for you, don’t listen to it!
I can’t tell where it Quotes Paper Planes. Can someone help me out?
They took it out of the song but I have no idea why they did.
Was it already discussed that this sounds way too much like their one hit way back when that might have even been called ‘What’s It Gonna Be?’ Same note escalation too.
now i say something….
That argument was pathetic, did anyone else notice the effort to look up the other guys information on myspace… haha sad.
yeah looking up that dude’s shit was the dumbest thing i’ve ever seen. what a douche
^^ “Like a bottle of Nair advertised as jock itch cream.” LOL!
OK say what you will about this particular song (which compared to other work in the album is very different), but what the Hell is everyone’s problem with small record labels? Reading over this I keep seeing people insulting these operations. Do you have to be on the biggest label to be a good band now? That’s idiotic. The huge corporate labels are insults to music and care only about profit. I commend anyone who is not on one of those horrible organizations.
I think you’re confused Shazane. 3eb are on one of those big corporate labels. I think they’re on a Sony subsidiary.
This song is amazing. Third Eye Blind’s lyrics are amazing. I think it’s ridiculous people get so worked up. Go listen to Slow Motion..
flight of the conchords must be so jealous of this masterpiece
I HATE when bands bring politics into there music..its just bad business its a good way to loose fans ..i respect there views (kinda) :/ butt write about millions of other things…
GROW UP GUYS…
its music you eighter like it or you dont…
if you dont then go listen to your usual mtv CRAP…
THIRD EYE BLIND IS AWESOME
CHEERS!
Third Eye Blind is MTV crap.
This song, like so many of Third Eye Blind’s songs, is great. All it’s doing is poking fun at all the contradictions in this country. Those of you who are taking this so seriously are exactly what’s wrong with this country… bunch of sensitive crybabies who take everything way too damn seriously…
Dude, this song is freakin’ hilarious! It’s been stuck in my head for days, and I just can’t get enough! I love it!! When was the last time you heard a song that made you laugh out loud, let alone smile every time it came on? Big shout to 3eb for the fun times, all the haters can just change the channel.
I’m soo confused. where is this think? I followed too many links. and every one of these comments is hilarious. Do i agree with them? No…but that doesn’t make them any less funny. Third eye blind is awesome. They don’t need anyone to confirm or deny that.
The majority of these comments have just proved to me why so many people do not listen to this band as I have since day one. Stephan Jenkins is a lyrical genius and the guitar and drums actually go further then a few chords and a couple of beats. These gentlemen take great pride in their music. Think about it… there’s a reason they’re not pumping out an album every year like most of your artists. If you want simple, bone head lyrics that don’t make you think or ponder life, stick to what you listen to best which probably involves in your face sexual references by such bands like “Nickelback” with songs that were probably written in one night over a couple of Budweisers.
Keep it up 3EB, you never fail to impress the educated.
How the hell did you find this blog? No regular here would ever assume the locals listen to fucking Nickelback.
(sigh……..) OK, you may have a point. I just jotted down the first mainstream band with 0 talent that came to mind. Was that not obvious enough or did I make enough sense in my comment that you had to make a piddly comment on the example I used? Again, my first point exactly.
(sigh….) Ok, although you have a point, you’re not getting mine. Naming the most mainstream band with 0 talent that came to mind is exactly what I’m trying to say. Did I just make too much sense in my comment that this is all you really had to fire back with, really? I weep for the future.
The reason Third Eye Blind doesn’t put out an album every year is because they spend a year and a half douching their vaginas and then studio makes them record some tunes for a month and then they go back to douching their vaginas…and sucking at life
The song ain’t art but it’s catchy and damn is Jenkins hot. kthxbyeimaguy. <3
“I want somethin’ else”…Better than this song. Ebola perhaps or maybe even a KFC 3 piece with a side of herpes mouth.
why is it so hip to hate on Third Eye Blind? It is an EP released only on itunes. It’s not like it’s on the radio or MTV 24/7. And another thing, when they were an overplayed pop band, they’re songs were so genius that “the man” didn’t even know what they were talking about. Selling out while biting the hand that feeds.
Oh and I am not a 3eb groupie, I am just a music fan who is tired of you haters.
Do you guys know Third Eye Blind at all?
This is Third Eye Blind.
sheer amazingness.
(sigh…..) Point noted bu itt is apparent you are not grasping mine. By naming the most mainstream band with 0 talent that first came to mind IS exactly by point. Did I just make too much sense in my comment that this is all you really had to fire back with, really? I weep for the future.
3eb is my fav. band of all-time. With that said, OOTV wasn’t the greatest of Albums (still good enough for me to know most of the songs haha) and now this?! I know it is a ‘joke’ song but still holy crap. Way to fail with beats ‘similar’ to ‘How’s it going to be’
. Yea the ‘music’ pulls you in but the lyrics pull you right out again. The past dozen times or so when I first start listening to ‘Non-diary creamer’ I think ‘hey this sounds awesome’ then . . . . the most random, retarded lyrics SJ has ever written. Next time I hope his ‘rant’ of a joke song isn’t a ‘release single’ for his next album.
Third Eye Blind is crap, always been and will be, why bother for this lil jerk. LAbels who hire and trust on people like him should ponder on how their situation is, hey dude, thanks for making some automaton mtv hits for the neverending stupid college kids who still think that kind of shit you make and produce is good, such as dave matthews, dishwalla, etc. Same old, you are another wart in the ass, please, do something else but not music, third eye blind meet my cyclops 8==========D hey by the way, did you guys had a side project called vertical horizon? uh guess you are like that, same crap, kudos
3eb rocks! They are my all time fav band. You just have crap taste in music! Keep your shit comments to yourself!!!!!
I like the song.
you are all rediculous; this song is so much more than “KFC” and “young gay republicans.”
you epitomize the ignorant and hippocritical society that this song is about.
Congrats, you used the words “epitomize” and “hypocritical” in a sentence. Unfortunately, you misspelled ridiculous and hypocritical…fuck off…
what the fuck is stereogum anyway? Who the hell pays shit attention to crappy web sites like this?
About 163 unique commenters so far, Einstein.
Song is growing on me, not sure if i want it to, but i can’t seem to get it out of my head
The title of this article is genius. Very much in the style of The Onion.
How quick we all are to judge… I don’t care what anyone says they’re a liar if they say that “What’s it gonna be… are you real to me?” is not stuck in their head for the rest of the day.
This song is witty and catchy so we slam it. Sounds like every other popular song that has ever been made.
Everyone thinks their music tastes are second to God’s, perhaps mightier. What lame asses.
I love the Barenaked Ladies. These guys are awesome!
i must say this isnt THE BEST TEB song, but its good. why does everyone hate it? if u post crap about it, give us a freakin’ reason. i like it because the rhythm is nice, and just like most other TEB songs it has meaning. This is one of those songs that fight for good against all these crap songs that have no meaning. some of them are good songs, but once again, no meaning. and will people stop dissing third eye blinD? if u are… again, GIVE US A REASON. no one wants to hear u diss crap if u dont know what your talking about.
This song was so bad it almost brought me to tears. Before I heard this 3eb was my favorite band… but come on. KFC, hot cheetos, gay marriage, bashing republicans… This song is total crap. Fuck whoever wrote this.
This is a good song.
No, this is an amazing song. I don’t understand why everyone has to go around saying that they don’t like it.
If you don’t like it, you don’t have to listen to it. But theres no reason to make like a blog about how bad you hate this song. You really have no lives. This song is so good and I can’t stop listening to it. Read between the lines people.
ok this song sucks soooooo bad!! its kind of offencive!! all they do is bash on homosexuals talk about chicken and steal shit from other bands!!! dont get me wrong i do enjoy a nice son i can laugh about but seriousely!!!! this song is shit and should not be alowd in the public!!
Stephen Jenins is too smart for his own good. The guy is a songwriting genius and because he doesnt write any of the new generation one hit wonder garbage then people get off on critizing him. The guy was valedictorian at Berkely for god sake !
Wake up and unerstand the humor and satire .
I am seriously loving this song. It’s so genius, and it’s intended to inflame anyone, and since it’s attracting such a hype, I suppose it’s mission accomplished after all.
The jazzy guitar solo at the end is tight too, even though its just a simple E.
I love this song. I think its funny and silly and who cares if its not the next underground anthem. ITS MUSIC PEOPLE, you know meant to entertain. He’s a satirist and is only poking fun at us. If people like you did not give him fodder for this song it would not exist. Get off your high horse and laugh.
This song is fucking awesome only if you get it…which I guess, many don’t! Sorry for the lack of intelligence or knowledge of current affairs!
read between the lines!!!
the lyrics reference things that try to trick you by being fake like KFC chicken or things that harm society or are revolutionary like a kid comes into my school and opens fire
the young gay republicans is part is a contradictory statement the young gay republicans stir up controversy because most republicans are against gay marriage
if you cant read between the lines you will never understand the complex meanings of songs pay attention in school douche bag
this is freaking funny. flame wars over a thrid eye blind song….REALLY?
too funny…..
FUCK YOU!
THIRD EYE BLIND IS ONE OF THE BEST BANDS EVER!
THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS SONG!
YOUR JUST TOO STUPID TO GET THE MESSAGE!
Alright. Now this is not 3EB’s best song, but 3EB is my absolute favorite band. and saying that this is the worst song of 2008. Please. That is dumb. Look at all of the crap which we call rap. It isn’t truly even musical, and so what if it has a beat. Rap “songs” consist of people simply talking and rhyming. It doesn’t take much talent. But Jenkins, he is a musical genius, and he is still doing an excellent job. Evidence of this is the song Red Star. Also, most all of his songs have an underlying meaning. Some like Jumper are personal to me. Whenever I felt suicidal, I would listen to Jumper, and pray to God, and the combination would actually kinda save me. Although God was the bigger factor. Sry Jenkins. But needless to say, they are an epic band. Keep on making more amazing music 3EB!!!
what a sally fuck you are if you really put any credit to such a cheese dick clown burger of a band like this in saving your life then you need to reevaluate things. these guys suck alot and it sounds like you might have alot in common, beside who gets all sappy on a blog about a joke of a song like this.
can’t do no wrong in my eyes
song, band, music and lyrics are genius as always
Sure, this song has a catchy tune and the dry humor is funny in and of itself but I think the real point is being missed here. This song is terrible because of how the gay community is being portrayed in this song. In this song, gay relationships are portrayed as ruining families and gay marriage is presented as ruining the sanctity of marriage. This song has no class and no taste and in this day in age, it’s just outright wrong. I can’t believe its being played on the radio and I can’t believe how many people actually like this song. Shame on you!!
I am not trying to start an arguement and I could very well be wrong but i believe the lyrics are a satire, I think he is using irony and sarcasm to ridicule the very idea that you are so upset about. If i interpreted the song correctly he is actually criticizing the idea that two men alone could completely bring family to its knees and ruin the sanctity of marriage.
wow listen to yourself as much as this song sucks (alot) the have the right to suck through fredom of speech. sensoring someone because they dont have the same beliefs as you is about as wrong as it gets. you think i want to her you queens in your bike short going through the city with the “i’m here i’m queer deal with it” no but i’d fight for your right to. so thicken your skin already and think before you spit the cock out of your mouth and start blabbing nonsense!!! I SAY GOOD DAY
my utter appoligies i was so enraged by your ignorance i didn’t see your name was misty and had previously had assumed you were a guy. so that last comment about spit the dick out of your mouth was probally false. so allow me to strike that from the record and finish with this. turn down the volume on elen unbuckle your stap on and fucking think before you open your mouth. p.s sorry for the earlier confusion.
You guys truely amaze me. thrash a song when your what the song is about. He was talking about how pathetic america is. KFC not being real chicken is talking about all the steriod fillings they put in the chicken. A kid going into a school shooting is talking about how depressing america is because we make fun of the way someone dresses, who they hang out with, and who they are in general. How we go and get plastic surgeory and pay all this money but we are still the same person. when he sings the chorus he is asking if you are true or are you fake. get over it you’ll understand soon enough.
no one cares thats the main point dont read to far into it this song will have about as much inpact on the world as a mouse fart
If anyone actually took a second to listen to what they were saying in the song, maybe you’d actually understand what an amazing song they’ve created. It has a very deep meaning to it, just like all of their songs do. I agree completely with what Corey’s said. Take a second to actually understand what’s going on before you trash it.
I actually love this tongue-in-cheek song. It’s quirky and mostly clever and a damn sight better than a lot of songs out there right now. Everyone is raving about that Paper Planes song. As I once read in a music review: “I would rather inject human excrement into my own eyeball than ever listen to that song again.” yeah. Folks who don’t like this song.. well, just don’t get it I guess. I personally love the line bashing KFC.. filthy mutant chicken!!
great comeback song from a classic band.
mission accomplished…
Have Third Eye Blind been dropped by Sony? No? Because they will be.
This band was over and done with the instant they fired Kevin Cadogan (the only member with any songwriting talent whatsoever). Don’t agree with me, fangirls? Let’s count up all the hits they’ve have had since Cadogan’s dismissal. Let’s see, there was… um… and then… uh… and… er. Oh that’s right. NONE. They’ve had none. They went from 6 times platinum to the cut-out bins. “Non-Dairy Steamer” reminds me of all those South Park showtunes. You know, the ones that sound like Trey Parker just made the melody up as he went along. The difference is, Trey Parker is mocking musicals with those. The only thing Jenkins is making a mockery of here is himself.
Don’t write about something you dont completely know about. This song mixes in views of being fake (Like the part about KFC being fake chicken. along with the implant part) And Gay Marriages.
first of all it all makes sence if you put the pieces together and if you dont understand it, you do not deserve to even listen or speak of such a great song as this. Read and understand the lyrics before you critize. Who ever over looks at what the song really means and just saw how random and ‘weird’ it is, should not talk and keep their mouth shut.
I am new to knowing this band and already love their work.
This song is amazing, fuck off haters.
This song is supposed to sound stupid, thats the point its making. The people who are saying this song is amazing are wrong. But the people who say the song sucks don’t know what there talking about. The whole song is mocking politics and how hypocritical it is, and how you believe things that aren’t real. The song itself goes further to create the metaphor by being bad. No the fans have to make the decision to not like the song just because there a big 3eb fan. I also want to point out all teh cheesy sexual references about gays, like going on your knees and blowing
The writer of this article is not very intelligent when it comes to who Stephan is quoting, becasue it is NOT M.I.A. that is a Clash song from the 70′s something M.I.A. sampled as well. It’s called Straight to Hell it was about Vietnam. Please do some reseach before you misquote musicans.
A thing called Wikapedia and it’s free!!
After reading what you said about the song I think you must not understand their humor. Its a fuckin undisputed good ass song, I actually was unaware that it was just released, but I’m glad Third Eye is still pumpin out jams because they are arguably the greatest band of all time. Sick Jam.
Just saw these guys in Atlantic City — again, for the 7th or 8th time live. Excellent live version of Non-Dairy Creamer, which they mixed in nicely with classics God of Wine and Motorcycle Driveby. Can’t stand the elitist haters here. Damn fools.
Whoever wrote this article is so fuckin uneducated. This song is so good and it displays beautiful, yes corny, but meaningful lyrics. Theres a reason behind everything in it. Would you classify KFC as chicken? Ask yourself that question next time you see a 400 pound man carrying a KFC bucket. And the fact that you are bashing gays in this day in age is repulsive. And if you actually did your reasearch before going on a rant about something you don’t even know, you would have discovered that the quote from Paper Planes is a tribute to veterans of the Vietnam War. I hope you feel like shit now.
yes! there are some people in the world who get the song!! its beautiful
are you non-dairy creamer or dancer?
this is hands down no question the worst song ever made. Anyone who likes this song is not only an uneducated derelict, but also a sheep. Third eye blind has made some great music, but this is aweful. The melody is terrible and it is outright garbage. I feel like you could pitch anything to the fans of this song. Just because TEB has made good music in the past doesn’t mean they can whip of a song in minutes take a shit on a record and call it gold. This is the only song Ive ever heard that made me mad because it was so terrible. Aweful, truly aweful.
How can the unchanging thing?