Check out Bank Of America banking center manager Ethan Chandler’s “stunningly misguided” (iFilm) performance at a corporate conference, post-MBNA merger. Does this change your Bono vs. Stipe vote? Remember, both have versions of this tune floating around.

Cringe.

UPDATE: After you pull yourself together, take a peek at the lyrics…

It is even better
Now that we?re the same
Two great companies come together
Now, MBNA is B of A

And it?s one bank
One card
One name that?s known all over the world
One spirit
We get to share it
Leading us all to higher standards

[ooohh, mmmm]

Do you like the cowboys?
Or your university?
Do you like the Yankees?
Or is NASCAR more your speed?
Well it?s your choice
Your right
To pick a card that shows
Your heart and your pride

We?re one with affinity
And we?ll carry each other
Carry each other
One

Have you come to meet Bruce Hammonds
Have you come to meet Leah McGee
Have you heard about Michelle Shepherd
She?s leading the team in the Northeast

And we?ve got Bank One on the run
What?s in your wallet? It?s not Capital One
It?s us, so which card are you?
Integration?s never had us feeling so good
And we?ll make lots of money, forever I can sing
About trusting in teamwork and doing the right thing
We?ll live out our core values
While the competition crawls
?cause they want what we have got
But it?s only here at Bank of America

One bank
One card
One name that?s known all over the world
One heart , filled with spirit
We feel it, we share it

One bank working everyday
To bring higher standards
Higher standards
One
We are one, yeah
We are one
We are one bank

[standing ovation]

Tags: ,  
Comments (65)
  1. buzz beamer->  |   Posted on Nov 10th, 2006 0

    Oh you suits know how to really shake things up !

    thats thinking outside the box !

    Bank of America

    more like Bank of Awsome..

    woo hoo

  2. Almost as painful as the soaring interest rates on their credit cards.

    bastards.

  3. Patrick  |   Posted on Nov 10th, 2006 0

    That’s just fucking awful. “Higher standards” my ass.

  4. James  |   Posted on Nov 10th, 2006 0

    You’re beautiful, more beatiful than me
    You?re honorable more honorable than me
    Loyal to the Bank of America

    It’s a sign of the times
    It’s a sign of the times

  5. Charlotte  |   Posted on Nov 10th, 2006 0

    I have a fried who saw this live. She said the scary part was she kept looking around to see if people were fighting as hard as she was to not burst out in laughter, but everyone else was basically singing along. BofA… Come drink the corporate Kool-Aid…

  6. JAVIER BUCHANANEVERSONIA  |   Posted on Nov 10th, 2006 0

    both bands do not have versions of this song floating around. automatic baby was a composite of u2 and rem. stipe, mills, mullen and clayton
    for clintpn’s inauguration party. rem does not have a version of this song floating around. although stipe did throw in snippets of ishfwilf during their midnight blue covers in 87

  7. David  |   Posted on Nov 10th, 2006 0

    Bono would probably have something deep and pretentious to say about this.

  8. Darwin  |   Posted on Nov 10th, 2006 0

    This is the best corporate moment since Dwight exhorted the paper salespeople of eastern Pennsylvania to rise to meet their destiny.

  9. jp  |   Posted on Nov 10th, 2006 0

    oh… my… god!!!

    (“do you like the yankees? or is nascar more your speed”? – BRILLIANT!)

  10. jp  |   Posted on Nov 10th, 2006 0

    oh… my… god!!!

    (“do you like the yankees? or is nascar more your speed”? – BRILLIANT!)

  11. We almost feel bad asking this (who are we kidding, no we don’t!), but if anyone’s feeling masochistic and wants to transcribe the lyrics to this abomination, that’d be awesome. In exchage, we offer our eternal gratitude. How can you pass up that deal? ;)

  12. joel  |   Posted on Nov 10th, 2006 0

    hahahahahahah!

    Do gooder Bono, running around the world trying to save it, and Corporate peeps co-opting his music to promote corporate greed.

    That’s fucking awesome. I bet rather than bitching about it He’ll just call them and ask them to have a (RED) credit card, so whether you’re into NASCAR, the Yankees, or kidding the consumers on our continent that their ack purchase power ack is benefiting needy people around the world. How God Damn arrogant can you get????

  13. joel  |   Posted on Nov 10th, 2006 0

    hahahahahahah!

    Do gooder Bono, running around the world trying to save it, and Corporate peeps co-opting his music to promote corporate greed.

    That’s fucking awesome. I bet rather than bitching about it He’ll just call them and ask them to have a (RED) credit card, so whether you’re into NASCAR, the Yankees, or kidding the consumers on our continent that their ack purchase power ack is benefiting needy people around the world. How God Damn arrogant can you get????

  14. joel  |   Posted on Nov 10th, 2006 0

    hahahahahahah!

    Do gooder Bono, running around the world trying to save it, and Corporate peeps co-opting his music to promote corporate greed.

    That’s fucking awesome. I bet rather than bitching about it He’ll just call them and ask them to have a (RED) credit card, so whether you’re into NASCAR, the Yankees, or kidding the consumers on our continent that their ack purchase power ack is benefiting needy people around the world. How God Damn arrogant can you get????

  15. joel  |   Posted on Nov 10th, 2006 0

    hahahahahahah!

    Do gooder Bono, running around the world trying to save it, and Corporate peeps co-opting his music to promote corporate greed.

    That’s fucking awesome. I bet rather than bitching about it He’ll just call them and ask them to have a (RED) credit card, so whether you’re into NASCAR, the Yankees, or kidding the consumers on our continent that their ack purchase power ack is benefiting needy people around the world, your banking needs will be met. How God Damn arrogant can you get????

  16. marsh  |   Posted on Nov 10th, 2006 0

    meh. it has nothing on michael scott’s slide presentation using ‘with or without you’ in the background

  17. marsh  |   Posted on Nov 10th, 2006 0

    meh. it has nothing on michael scott’s slide presentation for dunder-mifflin using ‘with or without you’ in the background

  18. Matt Jones  |   Posted on Nov 10th, 2006 0

    Holy fucking crap, some thought went into this! They should do this at the White House when they have new policies!

  19. Johnny Meatworth  |   Posted on Nov 10th, 2006 0

    in what universe did this seem like a good idea?
    probably the universe where the last album you bought was achtung baby

  20. violet  |   Posted on Nov 10th, 2006 0

    is he on american idol?? i want him on my karaoke team.

  21. I hope they didn’t ask U2 if they could destroy one of their few good songs and end up getting the shit sued out of them.

    Awful. Boo you fools, boo.

    Why do people insist on applauding things like that?

  22. I’ve been watching this damn thing all week since my friend posted it on his blog. It’s an astoundingly strange thing. And it’s such a weird waste of a decent voice. It’s how ernest he is that completely kills me.

  23. kakak  |   Posted on Nov 10th, 2006 0

    I stopped it right away. no need for them to ruin ‘One’ for me.

  24. flora  |   Posted on Nov 10th, 2006 0

    “we’ll live out our core values while the competition crawls.” it’s so poetic.

    man, i wish i still worked for that huge bono-loving conglomerate.

  25. Frank  |   Posted on Nov 11th, 2006 0

    is is even better
    now that we are the same
    two great companies come together now
    mbna is boa

    now its one bank
    one card
    one name that is known all over the world
    one spirit
    we get to share it
    leading us all to higher standards

    do you like the cowboys
    or your university
    do you like the yankees
    or is nascar more your speed
    well its your choice
    your right to pick a card that shows
    your heart and your pride

    we are one with affinity
    and we will carry each other
    carry each other
    one

    have you come to meet ????
    have you come to meet liam mcgee
    have you heard about michelle shephard
    she is leading the team in the northeast

    and we’ve got bank one on the run
    whats in your wallet it is not capital one…its us
    so which card are you?
    integration has never had us feeling so good
    and we will make lots of money
    forever i can sing…about trust, teamwork and doing the right thing
    we will live out our core values
    while the competition crawls
    cause they want what we have got
    but it is only here at bank of america

    one bank
    one card
    one name that is known all over the world
    one heart filled with spirit
    we feel it
    we share it

    one bank working everyday
    to bring higher standards
    higher standards
    one
    we are one
    we are one
    we are one bank

  26. Dan  |   Posted on Nov 11th, 2006 0

    When does this guy’s album come out?

    Anyone venture to guess the title of his full length L.P.?

  27. Frank, you rock.

  28. Autumn LaVelle  |   Posted on Nov 11th, 2006 0

    It’s sad really.

    The cards suck but his voice is impressive.

    I might get a card because he can sing better than most talent.

    Well current talent in the world.

  29. jed2  |   Posted on Nov 11th, 2006 0

    I saw this a few days ago and I can’t get over feeling like the zombie invasion already started.
    You gotta get em in the head.

    And incidentally, I’m not a great fan of Bono, but arrogant or not, the guy IS earnestly trying to help people in the world, something a thousand snarky indie nerds like myself and many of us could never, ever, ever, ever, ever say.

  30. This reeks of corporate viral-video planting to me.

    Am I the only who thinks this?

  31. Evan  |   Posted on Nov 11th, 2006 0

    I like how Joel the cynical AIDS orphan-hating son of a bitch with an itchy clicking finger (probably from all the porn) typed “He” in capitol letters when referring to Bono all Biblical style. Ironic yet appropriate.

  32. jesus fucking christ. he’s so serious about it too. at least do it semi-jokingly like that “We Built This Starbucks” song and not look like an absolute fool.

  33. Sommer  |   Posted on Nov 12th, 2006 0

    I work for Bank of America now having used to work with MBNA. I need to consider finding a new job.

    Yes, I feel like I’m in a cult when I go to these type of meetings.

  34. andrew  |   Posted on Nov 13th, 2006 0

    It’s like watching a train wreck in slow motion.

  35. bono  |   Posted on Nov 13th, 2006 0

    Hey !! But it’s me !
    As I got old and couldn’t write a proper song, I became depressed… Until I got engaged by this beautiful corporation to write a song that could unify the crowds under its proud banner !
    I am quite happy of my work, don’t you like it ?

  36. BARF!!!

  37. Dear Sir/Madam:

    As a courtesy to you and, in order to put Sterorgum.com on notice, I am attaching the text of a cease and desist letter sent to Bank of America?s legal counsel. Universal is aware that you are contributing to the infringement of U2′s Composition entitled “One” by, among other things, providing access to the unauthorized video on your website. Universal is also aware that you are the owner, registrant, administrative contact and technical contact of Stereogram.com.

    Universal has a good-faith belief that the unauthorized uses of U2′s Composition entitled “One” and the reproduction of any lyrics derived therefrom on your website are not authorized by the copyright owners or such owners? agents. On behalf of Universal, I hereby swear under penalty of perjury that the foregoing statement is true and accurate and that the foregoing statement is made under authority of one or more of the owners of an exclusive right in the Composition.

    Please be advised that, if the unauthorized video is not removed from your website immediately, Universal shall seek any and all available legal relief against the owner(s)/registrant(s) of Stereogum.com.

    All rights are expressly reserved.

    Raul R. Gonzalez
    Attorney, Business Affairs
    ? Universal Music Publishing Group
    2440 S. Sepulveda Blvd., Suite 100
    Los Angeles, CA 90064-1712
    310.235.4758
    310.235.4906 fax
    http://www.umpg.com/
    raul.gonzalez@umusic.com

    November 13, 2006

    URGENT ? IMMEDIATE ATTENTION REQUIRED

    VIA FACSIMILE (415-343-9495) & CERTIFIED MAIL,
    RETURN RECEIPT REQUESTED
    Bank of America, N.A.
    Legal Order Processing
    P.O. Box 3609
    Los Angeles, California 90051
    Attention: CA9-705-05-38

    Re: Unauthorized Exploitation and Contributory Infringement of Musical Composition on Web Sites located at http://theshermanfoundation.blogspot.com/2006/11/one-bank.html and http://www.thetripwire.com/news/2006/11/8/u2-boa-wtf

    Dear Sir/Madam:

    By way of introduction, Universal Music Publishing International B.V. and Universal ? PolyGram International Publishing, Inc. (collectively, ?Universal?) are the exclusive publisher and administrator, respectively, for the world excluding the United Kingdom and Ireland, of all musical compositions to the extent written, owned and/or controlled by Paul Hewson p/k/a ?Bono,? Dave Evans p/k/a ?The Edge,? Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen, Jr., collectively p/k/a ?U2,? including, without limitation, the musical composition entitled ?One? (the ?Composition?).

    It has come to Universal’s attention that Bank of America, N.A. (?BA?) has created a derivative work of the Composition to promote BA?s business and, in connection therewith, BA has publicly performed, synchronized, reproduced and distributed the Composition during BA business meetings and in timed relation with a video that is available to the public on at least two (2) Internet Web Sites located at http://theshermanfoundation.blogspot.com/2006/11/one-bank.html and http://www.thetripwire.com/news/2006/11/8/u2-boa-wtf (the ?Infringing Web Sites?). Universal’s records, however, do not reflect Universal having granted to BA, or any other party, licenses to create a derivative work, to reproduce, distribute or otherwise exploit the Composition, either on or by way of the Infringing Web Sites or by any other means. As such, each such act constitutes an act of infringement under the United States Copyright Act.

    Accordingly, Universal is hereby formally placing BA on notice that BA?s reproduction, distribution and other exploitation of the Composition, during BA business meetings and/or on the Infringing Web Sites or otherwise (the ?Unauthorized Uses?), without Universal’s consent, are violations of Universal’s copyrights therein and constitute infringements thereof. Universal therefore demands the following:

    1. That BA and its employees and agents immediately cease from any further Unauthorized Uses, including, without limitation, any and all further reproduction and distribution of the Composition on and by way of the Infringing Web Sites (for the avoidance of doubt, reproduction and distribution is not limited to uploading the Composition onto the Infringing Web Sites; rather, reproduction and distribution also includes maintaining ?enabled? links on the Infringing Web Sites by which visitors to the Infringing Web Sites may listen to or otherwise access the Composition);

    2. That BA immediately contact the owners and/or registrants of the Infringing Web Sites to halt the unauthorized exploitation of the Composition;

    3. that BA confirm such cessation in writing by the close of business on Friday, November 17, 2006;

    4. that BA provide Universal, by the close of business on Monday, November 20, 2006, with a complete, accurate and detailed written accounting setting forth any and all exploitations of the Composition by BA, including, without limitation, a detailed report of the scope of the media used, the term of the Unauthorized Uses and the territories where the Unauthorized Uses were made; and

    5. that BA contact me immediately thereafter to discuss both the monetary compensation to which Universal is rightly entitled in connection with the Unauthorized Uses and any other actions to be taken by BA that Universal shall deem necessary.

    Please be advised that in the event that BA fails to comply with Universal?s demands herein, Universal shall vigorously pursue any and all relief it deems necessary and appropriate to protect its rights in and to the Composition. As a preliminary matter, Universal may seek injunctive relief. In the event that Universal is compelled to institute legal proceedings against BA, Universal may also seek statutory damages in connection with BA?s infringement of the Composition. You should know that, pursuant to 17 U.S.C. § 504(c)(2), BA may be liable for statutory damages as much as $150,000.00. Pursuant to Section 505 of the Copyright Act, moreover, Universal will most certainly seek to recover any and all attorney fees and costs incurred as a result of BA?s infringement of Universal?s copyright in the Composition.
    Nothing contained herein or omitted herefrom shall be deemed to be an admission of any fact or a waiver of any rights or remedies with respect to the subject matter hereof, all of which rights and remedies are hereby expressly reserved.

    Very truly yours,

    Raul R. Gonzalez
    Attorney, Business Affairs

  38. j.  |   Posted on Nov 17th, 2006 0

    Hey jerkoff, you’re jerkoff website doesn’t even work…

    Esq. my ass.

    jerkoff.

  39. Mack  |   Posted on Nov 17th, 2006 0

    “you’re”

    wow.

    Raul is still a jerkoff though

  40. m.  |   Posted on Nov 19th, 2006 0

    Im assuming the raul who wrote that letter is working pro Bono?

  41. ha, Bank of America’s cover is clearly a parody and should be considered a fair use.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Campbell_v._Acuff-Rose_Music,_Inc.

  42. IPAtty  |   Posted on Nov 20th, 2006 0

    It’s clearly not a parody, it’s a rip-off of U2. The case you refer to didn’t involve taking the entire song. That has never been found to be a fair use in any court.

  43. Andy  |   Posted on Nov 20th, 2006 0

    this is so embarassing…i am breaking out into a sweat sitting in my office.

  44. Andy  |   Posted on Nov 20th, 2006 0

    this is so embarassing…i am breaking out into a sweat sitting in my office.

  45. matt  |   Posted on Nov 20th, 2006 0

    I’d imagine that the YouTube version done by David Cross & Johnny Marr is also in “violation” of aforementioned “copyright law.” Let’s see how that one transpires….

  46. Graham  |   Posted on Nov 21st, 2006 0

    Wow, Universal Music in humour bypass shocker. Once again, completely missing the point of intellectual property.

  47. Graham  |   Posted on Nov 21st, 2006 0

    Wow, Universal Music in humour bypass shocker. Once again, completely missing the point of intellectual property.

  48. Graham  |   Posted on Nov 21st, 2006 0

    Wow, Universal Music in humour bypass shocker. Once again, completely missing the point of intellectual property.

  49. as soon as bono dies, he’s going to roll in his grave for this.

  50. harleyguy  |   Posted on Nov 22nd, 2006 0

    Proving once again that these guys are crooks and are the “Walmart” of banks…

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