Maxim has put together a list of the “The Worst Band Names Ever,” and we thought y’all might wanna take a peek. Although they’re not experts in music, they’re pretty good with the ridiculous, so here’s their list of ridiculous musical monikers. The article offered suggested names, which we included parenthetically so you don’t get confused (it’s been a long day back from break!). Here’s the list:

  • Hole (Put “ass” in front of it.)
  • Toad The Wet Sprocket (Now’s The Time On Sprockets When We Dance)
  • Crash Test Dummies (One Hit Blunder)
  • Limp Bizkit (Shit Said Fred)
  • Anal Cunt (Anal Cunt — they liked it after all)
  • Thrice (Obie Trice)
  • Jefferson Airplane/Starship (Unmazing Grace)
  • Korn (Krap)
  • Phish (Phucked)
  • Keith Urban (Keith Not Urban)
  • Archers Of Loaf (Pinching A Loaf)
  • A-ha (Voila!)
  • Men Without Hats (Living In Mom’s Attic Until You’re 40)

  • As always, let us know which band names you’d nominate for the list. Feel free to suggest improvement for the bands, feel free to just leave ’em hanging with their name shame. (Like they’d listen, anyway.) Let’s hear ’em!

     
    Comments (126)
    1. James  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 +1

      “From Autumn To Ashes”. The most stereotypically bad emo band name ever.

    2. steve  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      there is nothing funny about this list.

    3. Without a doubt, almost every band that came out in the 90s had a horrible, one word name. Korn, Bush, Wax, Sponge, Lick, Hard, Cow, Tang, Wang…

      Mix ‘em, match ‘em, none of ‘em really exist anymore anyway.

      DwD

    4. I nominate Goo Goo Dolls.

    5. El Payo  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      Toad The Wet Sprocket is a joke name anyway – the band lifted it from a Monty Python sketch.

    6. Saul  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      I’m with them on Archers, as big of a fan as i was/am, i’ve never liked the name. HOWEVER, they’re waaaaay off the mark with Anal Cunt. AC’s A team cover is worth looking for.

    7. anything with “wolf” in it.

    8. Prince  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      I nominate “yellow brick road kill” for either the worst or the best band name ever.

    9. That list (just like everything in Maxim) was idiotic — there are so many worse band names about which funnier (make that funny) jokes could be made.

    10. Tredanse  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      Jennifer Lopez.

    11. eric  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      Lake Trout
      Kasabian
      Garbage
      The Like
      Psapp

    12. ian  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      as far as 80s one hit wonders go kajagoogoo are worse than a-ha and men without hats with regards to name and actual music. My nominee for not sure would be !!!. Also, goo goo dolls was the name of an actual toy.

    13. justin  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      spoon…though i love them

    14. justin  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      spoon…though i love them

    15. peabody  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      As I Lay Dying really sucks and is embarassing to be in a band named that. The book kind of sucks too.
      The Books – boring/stupid name.
      The String Cheese Incident. I can’t stand this band and when I hear their name, I cringe.
      Think About Life – Good band, but it sounds like a high school seminar about making good decisions.
      Kind of Like Spitting. Yeah.

    16. moveable type  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      sufjan stevens. sufjan’s not even a real fucking word. and “stevens”? i mean what the hell?

    17. i'drathernot  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      echo & the bunnymen. good band. dumb name.

    18. Dayne  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      Archers of Loaf…quite possibly one of the greatest indie rock bands that ever existed. “Icky Mettle” is about as perfect of an indie album there is.

      Just my two cents.

      Archers of Loaf….R.I.P

    19. Honestly, how could you make that list without putting “Audioslave” at the top…

    20. What the hell, my two cents: Dr. Dog.

    21. Anal Putrefaction… really…

    22. KingHarvest  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      keith not urban

    23. mike  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      thrice rules

    24. geric  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      Nashville Pussy, it fits but it is a punch in the teeth…Britney Spears…Englebert Humperdink

    25. geric  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      Nashville Pussy, it fits but it is a punch in the teeth…Britney Spears…Englebert Humperdink

    26. Blu  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      Rymes With Orange
      Deep Blue Something
      Better Than Ezra
      And wasn’t there a band called Sandy Duncan’s Eye?

    27. Alex  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      No mention of the otherwise awesome Holy Fuck?

    28. um.

      devil wears prada
      test icicles
      arctic monkeys
      assuck
      death

    29. waterbird  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      80s bands had some of the more offensive names…Scraping Foetus and Butthole Surfers must take the prize. But Archers was named for a Dr. Suess book, fools. Show some respect.

    30. John  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      Hoobastank never smelled too good to me!

    31. Eli  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      Guided by Voices. It sounds downright evangelical.

    32. Barenaked Ladies
      Bran Van 3000
      Cheeky Girls
      Cobra Starship
      Th Corn Gangg (even though I love them long time)
      Feathermerchants
      N.E.R.D. (No-one Ever Really Dies.)
      O.A.R. (Of A Revoloution)
      Over It
      The Cardinals (as in Ryan Adams and the…does that count?)
      Something Corporate

      …that’s all my iTunes has to offer, really.

    33. madison  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      what about…
      stars
      asobi seksu
      bright eyes
      the the
      dogs die in hot cars
      ?

    34. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah

    35. bbb  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      30 Seconds to Mars

    36. rgr_moore  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      the worst band names ever are ALL from the stupid new emo bands

      From Autumn to Ashes, as mentionned, As I Lay Dying, Bullet for my Valentine, let’s no forget My Chemical Romance, Funeral for a Friend, Matchbook Romance (wtf), Everytime I Die, Between the Burried and Me, A Perfect Murder, Bury Your Dead, etc. etc.

      I work in a clothing store where they sell T-shirts mostly and every day some little emo kid comes in and asks me if we have t-shirts from a band I’ve never heard of that have a stupid name like that and I always think that there is no way that SO many bands can have so little imagination or taste

    37. Evanescence and Jamiroquai win because no one will ever know how to spell or say the name of your band. I’m fairly certain Toto sold more records than both these chumps combined.

    38. laura  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      hellogoodbye, the academy is…, street to nowhere, playradioplay!, gym class heroes…

    39. some guy  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      Floater, especially when they then name an album “Sink.”

    40. Stalks  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      How about “30 seconds to mars” I dont get how that’s an emo band name.. Hey,, but they have nice hair!

    41. Stalks  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      How about “30 seconds to mars” I dont get how that’s an emo band name.. Hey,, but they have nice hair!

    42. Stalks  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      How about “30 seconds to mars” I dont get how that’s an emo band name.. Hey,, but they have nice hair!

    43. Blue aka Blue  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      animal collective could be the worst band name (or the best) i still haven’t decided.

    44. Fall Out Boy
      Panic! At the Disco
      Spitalfield
      The Cosmic Rough Riders
      INXS (uuuugh)
      38 Special

      And I definitely second Hoobastank.

      Oh, I know there are more.

    45. !!!
      yeah how is that a and name???
      wait was that just a band name?

      and to defend My Chemical Romance, the got their name from a Chuck Phaliniuk (the guy who wrote Fight Club!!!) book, so maybe look into something before you knock it

    46. alvysinger  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      !!!

      i mean how the fuck do you even pronounce or say that?

    47. p_drake  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      …And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead

      the ellipses means there was something BEFORE that long-ass title. lawd.

    48. Blue aka Blue  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      Hey. what’s with Travis Barker and starting bands with numbers.. +44?! yyyyyyeah. fantastic.

    49. Amanda  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      ok come on people
      THE FOO FIGHTERS
      the best band ever with the suckiest name

      I mean you get the crap youd expect from a band called Panic! at the disco (do they really need a !) but the music from the foo fighters deserves more…

    50. Finchmeister  |   Posted on Nov 27th, 2006 0

      I second Foo Fighters.

      Every Time I Die.

      Good Charlotte (?)

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