Google’s quest to provide endless means for procrastination received an infusion last month with the launch of their Patent Search, a kid-friendly search engine to dig up the history, tech info, and schematics on all sorts of legally-protected, hair-brained schemes. Ironic Sans is all over it, pulling registered patents from the likes of Harry Connick, Jr., Lawrence Welk, and this masterpiece from Eddie Van Halen (via Gawker):

Sorry, budding axe-slingers; ripping like Eddie’s against the law! And some more bad news: you’ll never defy gravity like Jacko, either. We couldn’t find anything on Tom Waits’s voicebox, which means Honus Honus is in the clear. Let us know if you find any others!

Eddie Van Halen played on Michael Jackson's - San Francisco Music ...
Eddie Van Halen and Michael Jackson during an on-stage 'gurn-off' in ...
Eddie Van Halen and Michael Jackson Backstage 1984 | Flickr - Photo ...
Eddie Van Halen & Michael Jackson - Fotolog
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Thanks to a Grammy Awards-fueled gain, Adele's 21 album beats out Van Halen's new A Different Kind of Truth ... concurrently in the top 10 since the July 25, 2009, chart, when Michael Jackson posthumously was at Nos. 2, 8 and 9 with "Man in the Mirror ...
Michael Jackson guitarist performs solo show
Jennifer Batten spent a decade in Michael Jackson’s touring band before filling a similar ... And you would play, for example, the Eddie Van Halen solo from “Beat It?” Absolutely. It was kind of night-and-day different from the Jeff ...
Comments (5)
  1. Derek Sunshine  |   Posted on Jan 4th, 2007

    And Tom Waits has sued folks for sounding like him. Well, at least folks who sound like him and sing in auto adverts.

    http://www.stereogum.com/archives/001842.html

    So, I guess as long as Honus Honus stays away from ads, he’s okay – though I would like to hear a Man Man version of “Crazy ‘Bout A Ford Truck.”

  2. dannygutters  |   Posted on Jan 4th, 2007

    Admit it, you’d take up smoking again if you had the welk ashtray.

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