The Police To Tour The World, “Enslave Your Children, Eat Your Kings And Queens”

So said Stewart. We love that guy. The Police opened this afternoon’s press conference/show with “Message In A Bottle,” and followed that with “Voices Inside My Head” > “When The World Is Running Down You Make The Best Of What’s Still Around.” Between the “>” and Stewart’s claim they were “going jam band” without a setlist, now we’re sure he’s been spending too much time with Trey. After those songs, it came time to address the elephant: The Police will reunite to tour the world, starting 5/28 in Vancouver, moving to the States (including a headlining set at Bonnaroo 6/16, a show at Fenway 7/28, and shows at MSG on 8/1 and 8/3 — latter cities on sale 2/20), then to Europe to play nearly every country on the map, and coming back to this side of the Atlantic for more shows in the States, Mexico and South America. After that, Japan, Australia, and New Zealand. If they haven’t killed each other yet.

Actually, the guys did seem genuinely excited. The crowd of press, fans, and drummers (Taylor Hawkins and ?uestlove got on the mic to ask questions) were pumped too, until the announcement of prices ($225, $90, and $50) was met with comical silence. But they’re donating a portion of the proceeds to WaterAid, so $225 is totally reasonable after all, grinch. Stewart had the quote of the conference:

Just speaking for myself, I’m really enjoying playing my drums. I don’t have to make my name in music anymore. I don’t have to make every record express myself I don’t care I just wanna play my drums and follow Sting’s lead and play the songs with Andy. We don’t have an agenda.

The room ate it up. Sting followed with, “You’ve changed,” and Stewart was similarly quick in reply: “Yeah I have. He hasn’t. This is what we have to deal with. We now refer to Sting as ‘Our Dear Leader.” This is gonna be fun! The Police ended the conference with “Can’t Stand Losing You” (Sting, mid-song: “it’s all coming back to me! I’m 24 and I’m mad”) and, of course, “Roxanne.” Tour dates after the jump.

05/28 – Vancouver, BC (GM Place)
06/06 – Seattle, WA (Key Arena)
06/09 – Denver, CO (Pepsi Center)
06/15 – Las Vegas, NV (MGM Grand Garden Arena)
06/16 – Bonnaroo
06/18 – Phoenix, AZ (US Airways Arena)
06/26 – Dallas, TX (American Airlines Center)
06/30 – New Orleans, LA (New Orleans Arena)
07/02 – St. Louis, MO (Scottrade Center)
07/22 – Toronto, ON (Air Canada Centre)
07/25 – Montreal, QC (Bell Centre)
07/28 – Boston, MA (Fenway Park)
08/01 – New York, NY (Madison Square Garden)
08/03 – New York, NY (Madison Square Garden)

Buy ‘em here. Do it for WaterAid.