Shut Up, Dude: The 50 Best Comments Of 2011

By Scott Lapatine / December 30, 2011

One billion comments! We did it! OK, we did not get a billion comments this year, but we did log more than twice as many this month as we did last December. And that’s all thanks to your intelligent discourse, inside jokes, and kitten covers, just like I hoped for when I ripped this column off from Videogum’s Monsters’ Ball. So thanks for playing along. Now that you’ve survived Christmas and are dry cleaning your $5k Drake jacket for New Year’s, it’s the best time to take a look back at all the fun we’ve had giving each other thumbs up and down in the comments section over the past 12 months. Seems like only yesterday we were sweating our CMJ badges off with Titus Andronicus at Glasslands. Isn’t that right, Patrick Stickles?…

Patrick Stickles – Stereogum CMJ Showcase Banter 10/18/11

So below, please enjoy this list of the 50 highest ranked comments of the year. We’ll keep this post positive and leave off the 50 worst, but trust that they were mostly misguided folks linking to their band sites apropos of nothing. As for Editor’s Choice, I choose you ALL.

Oh, and on Sunday? On Sunday Stereogum turns 10 years old. Please leave your cake wrecks in the comments.

#50 

Michael Robenalt | Sep 21st Score:26

eh his penis isn’t as good as it was in the 80s and 90s. He stills performs live pretty well but the creative spark of his penis just isn’t there.

Posted in: Michael Stipe’s Dick (NSFW, Obvs)
#49 

Jeff Cihocki | Nov 29th Score:27

@Paste, I know January 2011 seems like a long time ago, but you did review Destroyer’s Kaputt on 1/25 (and did give it a higher rating than plenty of other albums on this list)… so why the complete snub here?

Posted in: Paste‘s Top 50 Albums Of 2011
#48  Dr. Feelgood | Sep 29th Score:27

VH1 takes their lists very seriously.

Posted in: VH1 100 Greatest Songs Of The ’00s
#47  woozefa | Aug 8th Score:27

never heard of either of these guys.

Posted in: Watch The Throne Comment Party
#46 

Noah Green | Dec 20th Score:28

There’s only SIX more Lana Del Rey stories until Christmas!! I’m so excited.

Posted in: Lana Del Rey – “Off To The Races” (Studio Version)
#45  plb102 | Dec 16th Score:28

This is the 3rd or 4th time I have been on here and it has yet to get me laid. I’m starting to wonder what the point is.

Posted in: Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best And Worst Comments
#44  ambarella | Nov 30th Score:28

WHO ARE THE SUBURBS?

Posted in: Bon Iver Nominated For 4 Grammy Awards
#43  The Aura of the H-Man | Nov 29th Score:28

You mean you would have expected Rolling Stone to publish Q’s year end list and not Stereogum? OK, but that’s hardly something to get depressed over.

Posted in: Q‘s 50 Best Albums Of 2011
#42  Scott | Nov 22nd Score:28

Also Guy Crush and Girl Crush will be forced to marry each other. Forgot to mention that.

Posted in: The 2011 Gummy Awards: Vote Now!
#41 

Connor Johnson | Sep 21st Score:28

This is one of the strangest articles I’ve seen on Stereogum.

Posted in: Five Indie Types Who Would Do Well On X Factor… And Five Who Wouldn’t
#40  lolwut | Dec 20th Score:29

Weird. P-Nut form 311 isn’t on this list. Is he not indie enough?

Posted in: The Gummy Awards: Your Top 20 Indie Rock Crushes Of 2011
#39 

Sanjay Devarakonda | Nov 21st Score:29

Wasn’t he the bad guy in Toy Story 2?

Posted in: DeRogatis’s 10 Worst Albums Of 2011
#38 

Leonardo Aguirre | Feb 16th Score:29

True Grit waits

Posted in: Caption Contest: A NEW PHOTO OF THE RADIOHEADS!!
#37 

Michael Robenalt | Dec 7th Score:30

Bench/Rest

Posted in: Bon Iver’s Workout Plan
#36  tom | Nov 15th Score:30

Damn, you cracked our code. 12-year-olds love reading 1200-word think-pieces about emotive rap music.

Posted in: Album Of The Week: Drake Take Care
#35  tomato | Feb 16th Score:30

Ok Abacus.

Posted in: Caption Contest: A NEW PHOTO OF THE RADIOHEADS!!
#34 

Christie Porter | Nov 29th Score:31

No Girls on a top FIFTY – This list is invalid. Sorry. Have you guys HEARD the Girls album??

Posted in: Paste‘s Top 50 Albums Of 2011
#33 

Phillip Taylor-Parker | Nov 21st Score:31

1. Pick ten incredibly popular albums
2. Call them bad
3. ???
4. Pageviews!

Posted in: DeRogatis’s 10 Worst Albums Of 2011
#31  a.j.howard09 | Dec 5th Score:32

culture just ran out of the room in tears

Posted in: Stereogum’s Top 50 Albums Of 2011
#30  plb102 | Dec 2nd Score:32

I was kinda hoping this dude was gonna drop dong :(

Posted in: Lana Del Rey – “Born To Die” (Official Audio, Topless Video)
#28  bubsdepot | Oct 12th Score:32

Thoughtful plea for civility and perspective.

Posted in: NME‘s 150 Best Tracks Of The Past 15 Years
#27  djfreshie | Jul 26th Score:32

Good point! Please advise me on my relationship too…we went on our first date in October, but didn’t consummate the relationship until December. When should we celebrate? Also she’s a massive bitch. Please advise.

Posted in: Stereogum Presents… STROKED: A Tribute To Is This It
#26 

Matthew O’Leary | Mar 1st Score:32

I’m pretty sure the lead singer for Oasis is one of the last people who can yell at a band for making all their music sound the same.

Posted in: Liam Gallagher Reviews King Of Limbs
#25  middledistancebummer | Sep 26th Score:33

at least they found a way to stop people from downloading their music.

Posted in: Lou Reed & Metallica – “The View”
#24 

Connor Johnson | Aug 29th Score:33

I really thought that title was going to be literal.

Posted in: Bon Iver Shits On MTV
#23 

Chris Trash | Aug 26th Score:33

I might be jumping the gun, but can we get an extremely premature evaluation of Tha Carter 23?

Posted in: Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best And Worst Comments
#22  marcussudick | Feb 18th Score:34

the name of the band is Radiohead, Radiohead has two “D”s–”D” is the first letter in the word “double.”: as in Double album. The word “declaration” also starts with a “D”. THERES A RADIOHEAD ALBUM ON THE BACK OF THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE!

Posted in: The King Of Limbs Comment Party
#21  stonemill | Jan 25th Score:34

I liked this album when it came out. I still like it now. But nice that Stereogum can have it both ways with the positive review when it came out, and a negative review here. I look forward to another review of the album in another 6 months, when you guys deem the album “Kinda OK!”

Posted in: Double Take: Arcade Fire – The Suburbs
#20  plb102 | Dec 16th Score:36

not to be a dick = I’m about to be a dick

Posted in: Pitchfork’s Top 50 Albums Of 2011
#19  SubSickAlien | Dec 20th Score:38

I haven’t read Entertainment Weekly in a while. Which reminds me… I should make a dentist appointment soon.

Posted in: Entertainment Weekly‘s 5 Worst Albums Of 2011
#18  richie almost-dies | Oct 10th Score:38

“I’m 33 years old and I can’t make coffee” is the new “I never learned to read”.

Posted in: Le Tigre’s JD Samson Is Totally Broke, You Guys
#17 

Michael Robenalt | Sep 9th Score:38

“I don’t like Carter 4 because I think it was unsatisfactory as a piece of music”

- everyone who doesn’t like Tha Carter IV

Posted in: Das Racist Relax Premature Evaluation
#16 

Nick Degel | Dec 14th Score:41

I heard she doesn’t even build her own cathedrals for her videos. She just has someone else do it for her.

Posted in: Lana Del Rey – “Born To Die” Video
#15 

Stephen Hall | Dec 5th Score:41

Nice try, Dad.

Posted in: Stereogum’s Top 50 Albums Of 2011
#14  Chris Trash | Jul 22nd Score:42

I was disappointed that Stereogum didn’t cover the leaked Watch the Throne album cover.

Posted in: This Week’s Best And Worst Comments
#13  godsdog | Oct 7th Score:43

It’s no longer just destruction he’s got an appetite for.

Posted in: What Axl Rose Looks Like Now
#12 

Brian Jaggers | Dec 5th Score:45

yes, becuase Girls at #1 is in no way Pitchfork-esque. hahaha.

Posted in: Stereogum’s Top 50 Albums Of 2011
#11 

James Keller | Nov 23rd Score:45

Lil Wayne

Posted in: Rolling Stone‘s 10 Greatest Guitarists Of All Time
#10 

Shamus Johnson | Nov 1st Score:45

Should be some good music coming out of death cab now

Posted in: Ben Gibbard & Zooey Deschanel Separate :(
#9  woozefa | Oct 12th Score:45

general rant about lists.

Posted in: NME‘s 150 Best Tracks Of The Past 15 Years
#8  Ocelot Stomp | Nov 30th Score:46

The Grammys have always had trouble with tricky concepts like ‘time’ and ‘music’.

Posted in: Bon Iver Nominated For 4 Grammy Awards
#7 

Bryan Akerley | Oct 12th Score:48

HATE FUELED REBUTTAL IN ALL CAPS.

Posted in: NME‘s 150 Best Tracks Of The Past 15 Years
#6  therhimed | Dec 5th Score:51

Shabazz Palaces?

Posted in: Stereogum’s Top 50 Albums Of 2011
#5 

Michael Hanna | Dec 5th Score:53

“Nietzsche is dead” – Mike

Posted in: Stereogum’s Top 50 Albums Of 2011
#4  Ocelot Stomp | Nov 1st Score:60

“I will possess *your house” – Zooey’s divorce lawyer’s intern

Posted in: Ben Gibbard & Zooey Deschanel Separate :(
#3  lolwut | Oct 7th Score:60
Posted in: What Axl Rose Looks Like Now
#2  Capu Flapu | Dec 16th Score:72

“I hate this list, not because of the musical choices, but because of a number of imaginary crimes Pitchfork have committed, including being too hipster, being too mainstream, being too biased towards lesser-known acts and being too biased towards more established acts. Disliking Pitchfork is cool and therefore I have to be seen to dislike Pitchfork’s music choices and loudly and quickly as possible”

~ Way too many people

Posted in: Pitchfork’s Top 50 Albums Of 2011
#1 

Andy Johnson | Nov 21st Score:109

you know you’ve made it as a troll when you hide under a bridge in your press pic

Posted in: DeRogatis’s 10 Worst Albums Of 2011

See you in 2012!