Stereogum’s SXSW Superlatives 2012

By Stereogum / March 19, 2012

Guess what? We went to SXSW 2012. Without further introduction, here are our SXSW superlatives for 2012:

BEST BEARD:The one on the bassist from Black Tusk, which swings around impressively when he headbangs. -Tom

BEST HAIRCUT: The pompadour on the guitarist from Ceremony, a sort of punk-rock version of the Kid N’ Play hightop fade.

BEST SHOES: The shiny blacks on the feet of Kindness, whose soulful disco-dipped sets were long on potential, dance moves, and legs. (He’s tall.) -Amrit

BEST BARE FEET: Nick “Paisley Adams” Allbrook, the perpetually shoe-bereft bassist for Tame Impala, who was recast this week as the perpetually shoe-bereft livewire frontman for Australian classic riff-rock vamp band/Tame Impala spinoff POND. What he lacks in shoes he makes up in HEART (and amphetamine-y spasms and contortions). -Amrit

BEST BOSS: TIE: Ricky Rozay and Bruce. On that note, the best Fader Fort closer rumor (among others like Outkast, Jay-Z, along those lines of impossibleness) was back to back sets by Springsteen and Miami’s finest.

BEST HUSTLE: Yeah, so after Rick Ross played Fader Fort, he got on a plane and played a show in Miami later last night. Of all of which he boasts, this might be the most bawse. -Corban

BEST/WORST MALL EXPERIENCE: On opening night, Apple Store Barton Creek Square fixed my Air even though I didn’t have a Genius appointment. Too bad it took an hour to get a ride back to 5th St. – Scott

BEST CONFESSION: Jacked Doritos taste pretty good. -Tom

BEST ALBUM DOWNLOADED AT THE AIRPORT: The O.F. Tape Vol. 2. -Corban

MOST STARVED, AND THEREFORE MEANEST, CROWD: Fiona Apple at Stubb’s. I wish I could express what it was like to experience the collective groan that rippled through the crowd as Tom (who is, just so you know, approaching 7”) moved through the audience, many of whom who had been waiting all day, to meet Scott and me. Luckily, the show was worth all of the strain. -Corban

BEST UNINTENTIONAL HARMONIES: Two members (Elizabeth and Caroline) of Girl Crisis singing along front row to Nite Jewel at Wax Poetics’ showcase. -Scott

MOST JACKED STAGE: 1100 Warehouse Honorable Mention: The Doritos Jacked Stage. -Corban

BEST GUEST APPEARANCE: Swag-rap lunatic Riff Raff, resplendent in complicated braids and more-complicated facial hair when he jumped onstage to kick a verse with Queens rap bulldozer Action Bronson. Said Bronson: “I can’t wait to hear this!” -Tom Honorable Mention: Fucking GANGSTA BOO. -Corban

MOST HIT SINGLES IN ONE SETLIST, NON-SPRINGSTEEN EDITION: Lionel Richie @ The Moody Theater. -Scott

BEST ONSTAGE USE OF A SHOWER CURTAIN: Lower Dens, whose set at ND 501 featured an onstage shower curtain. -Amrit

BEST CELEBRITY SIGHTING (EVERYWHERE): Vermin Supreme, future President Of The United States. -Scott

MOST AGGRESSIVE ADVERTISING: TIE: Nike and Google, who basically just outspent everyone ten-, maybe twenty-fold (Nike built a basketball court and another multipurpose field, cuz people just wanna hoop during SXSW! Right? I never saw anyone on it). -Corban

LONGEST SETUP TIME: Korallreven at Barbarella, approx. 50 minutes. -Corban

BEST WAILER: Screaming Females leader Marissa Paternoster. -Tom

ARTIST MOST CONVINCED HE GAINED LEGENDARY STATUS THANKS TO SXSW:

BEST SINGLE SERVING TUMBLR THOUGHT UP BY STEREOGUM STAFF MEMBERS: WhatRappersThoughtOfTrashTalk.tumblr.com, because right after Trash Talk got done playing their set at Lustre Pearl, Tom raced over to Nacho Picasso (whom he had seen earlier) to see what he thought. Nacho loved it. -Corban

BEST FLEET FOXING: TIE: Poor Moon and Father John Misty, hours apart at Sub Pop’s Red 7 showcase outdoor stage. -Scott

BEST GUITAR SHREDDER: Screaming Females leader Marissa Paternoster. -Tom

BEST LIVE-ACTION MOUNTAIN DEW AD: Lil Wayne, #DEWeezy. -Corban

MOST AWESOME SHOW, NOT EVEN KIDDING/BEING CUTE OR TRYING TO COUNTER THE COUNTER BACKLASH OR WHATEVER: Skrillex at 1100 Warehouse. Over to Tom for more. -Corban

BEST PLACE TO SNEAK IN NCAA TOURNAMENT GAMES: The Marriott sports bar Champions, three years (at least) running. Rock Chalk Jayhawk. -Corban

BIGGEST SNACK CHIP: You didn’t think that 56ft tall Doritos vending machine was just a stage, did you? -Scott