Time to Rank & File the biggest stories in our world from the past seven days — i.e., the things we would be talking about at the watercooler if we had a watercooler. We skipped last week’s chart due to SXSW, so this one is extra buzzy. As always, an item’s RANK reflects a story’s size, while its BUZZ (thumbs up, or down, or both) reflects its nature. Enjoy.

 
Comments (51)
  1. Between Skrillex and Lana Del Rey, Stereogum will leave no traffic-boosting [but ultimately confusing] allegiance unexamined. Next up: the unheralded genius of LMFAO.

    • Lana Del Rey’s on American Idol tonight, which should be another curious discussion point on schedule for tomorrow. It already makes me wonder what our reaction to LDR would have been if she was staged as an AI guest to begin with instead of the blog culture deception…

      Also, I think Tom deserves the credit to be at #3 more so than Skrillex himself does because that article said more about him than the actual musician. Not at all meant as a slam by any means, but it was a very personal insight and the amount of reaction it received kind of solidified him as a journalistic folk hero.

    • When Skrillex remixes Lana Del Rey the internet will break – possibly forever. The mind has indeed been cruelly wounded.

  2. Black Keys are slowly giving people reasons to start not liking them…

  3. Yeah, the Black Keys have no place to be so uppity.

    But, NO! Calling seeing Skrillex revelatory is like calling Mitt Romney “profound”

    • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

      • May I propose a new “Shut Up, Dude” category for best new screen name and prematurely give the lifetime achievement award to “big-swinging-d-69″?

        • Now, now, crania, let’s not be unkind to big swinging d. He (I am assuming that the “d” is for man parts, but the name is so cleverly veiled, one can’t be too certain) was simply misinformed about the nature of this site.

          Big-swinging-manparts-from 1969, this site is not actually for hip, cool people. This site is for people who look gay in their profile pictures. Mine was declared “not gay enough”, so I’m working on one that has Richard Nixon on a swingset circa 1969, anachronistically listening to an original walkman with an anachronistic copy of The Black Keys’ “Brother” cassette in it. It’s a cartoon, of course, and Nixon is saying “These guys are badass!” enthusiastically, while Nickleback are sulking in the corner of the picture.

          I think that then, finally, my picture will be hip, cool, and gay all at the same time.

  4. I honestly don’t see why Black Keys NEED to apologize. Hell, I don’t even understand why this feud is even a thing to talk about.

  5. Did Skrillex pay you Stereogum? It’s OK, you can tell me.

  6. I was going to say some bullshit about how Skirllex sucks but I really just don’t want to talk about it anymore.

  7. I’m just going to cover my eyes, pretend to be oblivious to the Black Keys’ embarrassments, and put on Rubber Factory.

  8. black keys thumbs down, but skrillex thumbs up? wow

  9. Mind as well just be honest and devote one big buzz chart to Skrillex that breaks down the specific attributes of him/his music that garner the most “buzz”

  10. Would you rather hear The Black Keys say they like Nickleback? C’mon nobody here likes Nickleback!

  11. Clickable links would help.

  12. How long until ‘In Defense of Nickelback’?

    • I kinda like their Monday Night Raw theme song. Don’t think I could wring 2000 words out of that, though. Yet.

      • Probably for the best, Tom. As a Canadian its my job to hunt down the remaining Nickelback fans and ‘explain’ to them the error of their ways.

        We tried it with the Beliebers, but theres too damn many of em. Biebermania is like musical herpes, sometimes you worry like everyone has it

  13. only annoying thing I can find about this Skrillex debacle is the 300 comments that article racked up, shits going to be staring me in the face atop the most commented list for weeks to come.

    but yeah, Tanlines album!

  14. Thumbs up for Action Bronson making an appearance on the Buzz Chart. Liked Dr. Lector better, but still, that boy is good.

  15. Like I’ve said before, The Black Keys IS THE SAME AS Nickelback. Dirty rock for shitty bro dudes and people who think they’re down with independent music because they get MTV2 or MTV Canada.

    • They had 5 albums before MTV really took notice. They were as about as indie as you can get and now they blew up out of nowhere, Hardly the same as Nickleback. People were saying the same shit against R.E.M after Green.

      • I think you can at least make an argument that the Black Keys part of his comment is valid. To me the part that is way off is saying that Nickelback’s fans are people who think they are down with independent music. Nickelback’s fans would also be fans of ppl like Kid Rock and Creed. I wouldn’t think indy cred has ever entered their heads. As far as I know Nickelback has always been as mainstream as it gets.

        • Not what I’m trying to say. I meant, people who like the Black Keys think they’re indie because its not as mainstream as…lets say…Nickleback. Black Keys fans are same demographics as Nicklebacks’ fans. Its just a new era.

          “In the US, El Camino debuted at number two on the Billboard 200 and sold 206,000 copies in its first week on sale.” Thank you wiki. If you like bar rock, more power to you. You just can’t say its any different than what Nickleback was/is trying to do.

          • Im going with the “They are different” argument. I cant put them in the same category as Nickleback, Creed, and Kid Rock. Cool bands Vs. SHIT bands.

          • Honestly? Because the bros I see in bars aren’t rocking out to Black Keys. They know of them, but most aren’t fans, and I generally see them groaning when My Darkest Day or Hinder isn’t blaring. I’d place The Black Keys in the same category as The White Stripes. Mainstream acts with classic rock pretensions that just happened to start out on indie labels. They were both going to be famous no matter where they started. Their music is too easily recognizable to music journalists and radio stations to avoid.

            The blues pedigree helps get both bands recognized as “talented” since it’s rarer than the Pearl Jam-via-Alice in Chains bullshit we get from Nickelback, but isn’t too rare or too weird or too effeminate to sit them next to whatever indie buzz band is making it rounds, so rockist journalists and radio stations can embrace those types of bands without moving too far out of their comfort zone. The real question is, why haven’t classic rock stations been embracing bands like this for years instead of alternative stations? There was never anything alternative about The White Stripes or Black Keys. They’re making music bands like Zeppelin or Sabbath or Tom Petty or The Cult or Pearl Jam have been making for years.

            I also won’t argue that Black Keys isn’t cock rock (which I assume is what you mean by “dirty”), because they are, but the blues itself was cock rock before that term became a pejorative. So was glam. And so was most of rock and roll (hi, Elvis!). Hair metal sort of ruined that whole idea with its rampant misogyny. I don’t get that from The Black Keys, just as I never got that from a band like T. Rex, who sang about getting laid far more frequently than the Keys ever have.

            Basically, they’re a mainstream classic rock band. There’s nothing wrong with that.

      • I really wish people would stop confusing indie bands with mainstream bands that just haven’t made it yet.

        • Which is which, randy?

          I don’t think I see the similarity, Danny, beyond your statement of contempt. I am not an apologist for either band, but the quality and style of music are quite different, as is the fanbase for each. Not to say that some people who like Nickleback don’t also like The Black Keys. The Keys also come across as much bigger assholes (afforded by the fact that they are generally regarded as a “better” band).

          Indie band is not equivalent to unknown band. Just because a band is popular enough to sell their songs through licensing or get picked up for a video on MTV2 doesn’t make them any less “indie”. The pretense of believing oneself superior to others because of some supposed knowledge that transcends “the shitty bro dudes” necessarily puts you in the “people who think they’re down with independent music” category. The argument then becomes strictly a matter of how far “down” you are. Perhaps the “I never listen to any band that has been recorded on anything but a four-track” down is where you are, but I don’t have to be there in order to be relevant.

          For the record, fuck both Nickleback and The Black Keys, because I am better than both those bands. And fuck the people who like them, because I’m better than them, too!

          • Can we all agree De Stijl was awesome?

          • You sound real smart. eldave. I appreciate that thoughtful and very deep analysis of what is “indie” and what is “mainstream.” I can tell you really fun to hang out with.

          • No, I’m actually a shallow asshole who likes to parade around telling people that I’m way more credible than they are because of my likes and interests. But I do it in a really sarcastic way that also shames them at the same time that it insults them.

            So, I spend a lot of time alone, jealously bashing people who are way less cool than I am, but having a way better time at it.

          • I like to listen to Nickleback when I’m sad and lonely. That song, “How You Remind Me,” just hits me in all the right places.

          • I guess it didn’t hit you in the ears.

          • “Indie” is short for independant, guys. You’re welcome, I finally solved the problem!

  16. Earl Sweatshirt is a false prophet, OFWGKTA is a superstition.

  17. OF is all hype. The retarded little brother of Wu. Can anyone even name at least 4 members of that group? I’d take Main Attrakionz & Kendrick Lamar over those fooliyones anyday.

  18. PURITY RING lofticries and other amazing videos here kim kardashian gets punched! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpLDI5gwIaY

  19. OK, what happened to that batman picture in this thread? It was hilarious, and now I can’t find it for the life of me.

  20. These charts are really surreal. Complete with tiny gossip captions. Like an alt-tabloid.

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