It’s almost April, which means the big TV networks are gearing up to hype long-overdue series finales. Here’s your Stereogum primer (the endings are just my guesses; the other info is culled from various sources).
Frasier (NBC), 11 Seasons
Summary: Neurotic gay brothers live in Seattle with their crotchety father who hates them. They drink buckets of coffee and get into wacky situations.
Finale Plot: Frasier reunites with Cheers‘ love interest Shelly Long. Woody Harrelson makes a cameo. They all get high and read poetry (over coffee). Niles ends up with Omarosa. The dog dies.
Hype Night: Finale airs 5/13, following an hourlong retrospective.
Spin-Off: None, thank god.
Jumped The Shark: They Did It (Niles and Daphne)
Friends (NBC), 10 Seasons
Summary: Six attractive idiots spend a decade falling in and out of love with one another, all the while living in impossibly big NYC apartments without ever having to work. They drink buckets of coffee and steer clear of black people.
Finale Plot: Ross and Rachel end up together. Joey moves to L.A. Monica and Chandler are horrible parents. Phoebe dies.
Hype Night: The last Friends airs 5/6, following an hourlong retrospective. The 30 second commercials you’ll see cost $2 million each (almost Superbowl level). That night the cast will appear on Leno, to be broadcast from the Central Perk set.
Spin-Off: Joey (starring Matt LeBlanc) will take the prized Thursday at 8/7c timeslot. The Sopranos‘ Drea de Matteo will play the role of his sister. The rest of Must See Thursday will be Will & Grace, The Apprentice, and ER.
Jumped The Shark: Never Jumped (WTF?! What about the PET DUCK?)
The Practice (ABC), 8 seasons
Summary: I’m pretty sure this is about a Boston law firm. Whenever I attempt to watch it, the cast is different.
Finale Plot: Lara Flynn Boyle + Camryn Manheim = The L Word.
Hype Night: The Practice says goodbye 5/16.
Spin-Off: According to USA Today, the spin-off will star James Spader. After getting fired, his Practice character files a wrongful-termination suit and joins a bigger firm. Co-stars Rhona Mitra and Jessica Capshaw are expected to be in the spin-off as well.
Jumped The Shark: Never Jumped/Cast Change 2003.
Also ending are Ed (NBC), Angel (WB), The Parkers (UPN) and Boston Public (FOX). I’ve never seen these shows (except one episode of Ed ’cause Michael Ian Black was in it). 2003/04 DOAs include Happy Family, The Tracey Morgan Show, and Miss Match.
UPDATE
Related viewing: last week’s Will & Grace, in which Jack and Karen bravely attempt to soldier on after learning Friends and Frasier will be going off the air. Bebe Neuwirth cameos…
Karen: Talk like Lilith! We hate your real voice!
Bebe: I will if you will.
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The first two seasons of Ed were rather great, actually. The last two were bloody awful (even Michael Ian Black couldn’t save them).
I’m not at all ashamed to admit my fondess for Friends, either. You think the pet duck was a shark jumping moment? If I had to pick something, it would be Joey getting a spin-off (a bad, bad idea).
Friends had its moments. It definitely jumped, though. Maybe not the duck … probably when Chandler and Monica got together.
This season’s kind of dull, but probably because it’s all just a waiting game. The only other season I thought wasn’t up to par was when Ross dated the English girl and got married (the second time). I guess that’s in line with your choice, though, since Chandler and Monica first got together at Ross’s wedding.
Regarding “The Practice”, even though the story below doesn’t say anything about Rhona Mitra, I’m pretty sure she’s in. You got Spader and William Shatner either way (by the way, hi – i’m a friend of sarah g’s):
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=597&ncid=772&e=2&u=/nm/20040326/tv_nm/television_practice_dc
“Friends” jumped the shark when the “gang of four” headed to London to attend Ross’s wedding. It’s a sure sign of a sitcom going down the tubes when its writers kowtow to the show’s nauseating foreign audience, send episodes overseas, and feature dreadful foreign cameos (Richard Branson, Sarah Ferguson).
phoebe dies?!?! *sobs* heh
friends jumped the minnow (at the very least) when chandler turned out to be straight.
I do have to correct you on one thing though. “Joey” will not take the 8pm thursday time slot– Sigfried and Roy’s cartoon series will. It seems bizarre, yes, but according to Entertainment Weekly, NBC paid like $20 sight unseen for this show, which was created by the same people who did Monster’s Inc and crap.
I totally hope I’m wrong.
Father of the Pride will be on NBC this fall, but not on Thursdays from what I hear. A primetime CGI sitcom is a pretty wacky idea. Wonder what the response will be.
Remember, NBC is also the network who sank a ton of hope and money into the Americanized version of “Coupling.” They’re not the best judge of material. A CGI sitcom will go nowhere.
holy shit Ed pisses me off. his girlfriend is the ditziest little stick bitch i’ve ever seen, and she’s ugly. Ed could set a flaming bag of dog shit on her doorstep and she’d still go “aww, i love you, Ed!” and most of the other “oh so cute and funny and creative” sitcoms just suck dick in general. are these people on crack? ” a divorce lawyer by day, matchmaker by night!” wow, what a great idea, dumbasses. who wants to watch that ugly cow get more ugly, prozac jumped, jittery starbucks drinking yuppies together with ex-Chippendales? pah-fucking-lease. spare me.
Wait a minute, Drea de Matteo will play Joey’s sister on the spinoff? That can only mean one thing for her Sopranos character… Now that’s one show that hasn’t jumped the shark.
Ah, okay. Apparently I was confused. That was coming through what I was told, anyhow. I don’t actually read Entertainment Weekly, but a good friend of mine has a subscription. I’ll have to give her thirty lashes for leading me astray on this information!
can TV get any worse? jesus fucking christ people…
You hate tv? Fine. Refrain from belittling the rest of us, though.
Thanks!
Sounds like they’re turning The Practice into the Alan McBeal show. The last few shows have been more like Ally McBeal than The Practice that I’m familiar with…not that that’s all bad.
I just want to know when the Tracy Morgan show is on.
I just want to know when the Tracy Morgan show is on.
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