Before y’all dis Brit’s iambic rhythms, consider that she probably wrote it with 11 or 12-year-old fans in mind. Or don’t. Whatever. Here’s the latest masterpiece Mrs. Federline has shared with the Official Fanclub.
Honeymoon Poem
11.10.2004
A honeymoon at last, to get away from it all
My assistant Fe gave me the call.
I remember it well, as she was smilin’
She said it was called Turtle Island.
I packed my bags light and quick,
Then grabbed my pink dress & favorite lipstick.
We hopped on a plane and took our flight
I slept really well, all through the night.
As we arrive, I turn and look out the door,
People are greeting us right at the shore.
A meal, a shower and some ice cream
Then I threw my man down, you know what I mean!
Magical nights filled with stars
Silence is golden, no running cars.
Private dinners, romantic fires
Little piece of heaven, whatever your heart desires.
Friendly “hellos” and never goodbyes
When you’re having fun, oh, how time flies!
As we sit and prepare to make our part
I thank you, Turtle Island, with all my heart!
~ Britney
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“I threw my man down, you know what I mean” ?????
Oh GOD.
She did not write that! That’s a terrible poem!
“Oh my god” is all that can be said.
i know man, that’s just… *shudders*
that’s wrong man.
Of course it is a terrible poem. It’s not that she has an audience of 11-12 year olds, she’s just that uneducated to write a poem that sucks that bad.
“Then I threw my man down, you know what I mean!”
Ewww, WTF?
Which in this case apparently means, White Trash Fucking
Wow. She puts the “suck” in unsuccessful prose.
i thought it was beautiful. brought tears to my eyes. tho i think those are from laughing so damn hard.
That’s some deep shit man, real deep.
well, that explains why they won’t let her write her own songs.
I dare someone to ask me why I’m posting a reply to a poem I couldn’t even be bothered to read all of.
wow, that’s a great fucking poem! yeah, and brit’s still a virgin…i hope she totally lets herself go.
+ dr seuss is turning in his grave.
“A meal, a shower and some ice cream
Then I threw my man down, you know what I mean!”
Aka: We ate cheetos, smoked some weed, stumbled into the shower, ate again, and then fell onto the bed in a food/drug coma”
Why, Britney?? Why did you rhyme “smilin’” and “island?” WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT???
It’s cute and light, give her a break, she’s not having it published.
i hope you’re referring to yogurt when you say ‘cute and light’
No.
Is it any surprise that her assistant planned the honeymoon?
I’m going to vomit.
Guess we know she doesn’t write her songs…or does she? Since both suck, it’s a tough call.
I hope during her “time off” she doesn’t learn to play guitar and decide to become a singer/songwriter and write her own lyrics.
Wow, maybe she’s planning to release a book of her cute lil’ poems out just in time for X-mas….barf!
“I hope during her “time off” she doesn’t learn to play guitar and decide to become a singer/songwriter and write her own lyrics.”
I personally hope she does. It would be glorious.
Lordy, is this what evolution dribbled down to? Money laden apes scratching their asses on a beach and then writing about it.
Sad.
Am I the only one who’s, like, totally turned on here? Hottttt…
I think we’ve found the new Jewel. Does anyone remember “A Night Without Armor?” The most embarassing book of “poetry” ever? Well, I can see where Brit gets her inspiration.
I wrote a poem like that about sumemr camp when I was eight..well, except for the white trash fucking part,but other than that-it’s almost spot on.
The saddest thing of all is she read that over and thought it was good enough to share with the rest of the world. This girl needs some serious help and fast. I think a 6 year old could write better then that. Deep man…real deep!
The saddest thing of all is she read that over and thought it was good enough to share with the rest of the world. This girl needs some serious help and fast. I think a 6 year old could write better then that. Deep man…real deep!
woah. i totally didn’t know britney was retarded.
C’mon Britney Fans. How can we NOT make fun of this? I know we’re “jealous” and all, but c’mon.
This is almost too easy.
This has got to be fake. Right?
Give her some credit, people. Bush would never be able to write a poem like that!
It wasn’t written for tweenies. It was written by someone who still is a tweenie. Did Quitney ever graduate?
UHHHH. ARE THOSE THE NEW LYRICS TO HER NEXT SONG….
Thats bullshit.This is a joke.There is no way that girl would write that and post it on the net for everybody to see.
I aint buying it.
Hey y’all, that reminds me of that attempt of rap from Madonna… I’m drinkin’ a soy latte…
“When hell is full the dead will walk the earth” I think that day is finally here when a crock of shit like that can actually be dubbed good enough to be published. Make me Yak. Out.
This is a conspiracy. Not the poem.
The people in this room constantly putting Britney down.
The poem was written from the heart but with humor. Yall are being harsh and critical.
Britney has way too much love for her fans and for the world and she is sick and tired of being placed in the spotlight by bad media attention and ignorance that is spread online about mher.
You people have way too mcu time on your hands.
She wouldn’t ever waste her time reading your comments. I don’t really mean to be cruel or harsh, but it really breaks my heart to see such negativity yall, over a wonderful woman.
Make sure that those of you who do like Britney pick up her new album “My Prerogative” Greatest Hits LP. Thanks Yall
Hugs, Brenda ( Say a prayer for love )
Bwahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Is that you, Britney? Sorry that we’re harsh and critical! Write a poem about us, please.
Um….
britney sweets, aparently u wud have both the brain power and the hand-eye co-ordination of a retarded clam. With all those typo’s u prolly round her mental level. Now if u r the sort of fan s she tryin 2 entertain then i could c y that “poem” would be so ludicrously ridiculous, otherwise, shut the fuck up n accept it for wot it is
A LARGE PIECE OF STINKIN CRAP!
peace.
Da UK dwelling Critic of the future
GuiltyC
P.s
Bobby brown did the original My prerogative, n it shat on her version from a great hieght.
Go buy some talent bitch!
GC
“[T]oo [much] time on our hands”? I suppose you mean that you are well warranted in your little sonnet defending a bad poet from cynicism that was never there in the first place (while making some humorously [that's how you meant it, right?] placed marketing). All people are doing is making fun of a really poorly written poem. Pardon us for being *critical* of a piece of literature that is written to be criticized.
“[T]oo [much] time on our hands”? I suppose you mean that you are well warranted in your little sonnet defending a bad poet from cynicism that was never there in the first place (while making some humorously [that's how you meant it, right?] placed marketing). All people are doing is making fun of a really poorly written poem. Pardon us for being *critical* of a piece of literature that is written to be criticized.
To the person to said “she’s not having it published”: Technically, since it was put online for her fans, it IS published.
Now if she sold it in Borders? Oh dear god . . .
With shit like this, no wonder people laugh at me for studying poetry.
My day just got 100% better. Wow, fabulous.
“she is sick and tired of being placed in the spotlight by bad media attention and ignorance that is spread online about mher.”
If she’s tired of the spotlight being on “mher,” then why doesn’t “mshe” stop “mposting” “mcrap” all about her personal “mlife” on her “mwebsite?” The woman can’t take two days off from drawing international attention to herself. Isn’t this exactly what happened on her last so-called career break?
And I don’t want you hugging me, dammit.
Silence is golden, Britney. Remember. Remember…
“And I don’t want you hugging me, dammit.”
MLOL.
Be very careful what you wish for here, people. If we can remember back far enough, Suzanne Sommers (Ms. Thighmaster) came out with a book of poetry some years ago.
I will NEVER forget, not even with therapy, the interview I saw with her where she said she “knew she was a real poet now” because her tome was “selling more than even Rod McKuen.” (And if ever there was a comparison….)
So don’t be surprised if Brits gets a hankerin’ to come out with The Federline Trilogy.
Britney??….What the fuck r u smokin’??
Its not the best poem in the world, but at least she tried to stay loyal to the rhythm and slight rhyme scheme she had going there.
She prob wrote it quickly and wasn’t really trying….okay, I’m trying to convince myself of the impossible- that was really bad. It was a mistake to expose that to us- the mean bitter public.
Just because you use meter and rhyme doesn’t make it good.
This is so Flowers for Algernon. Britney IS Charly
OMG! Will this be on her next album? I smell a GRAMMY! Sorry, but if I hear this on the radio to music, I will drive off a cliff. I don’t care if there aren’t any around, I’ll find one!
Stay in school kids…stay in school
hahahahahahhahahaha.
I feel really sorry for the people that feel sorry for her..
She just sets herself up for this, and I’m sure Kevin helped her write that.. “Hunny, what rhymes with ‘smilin’?”….
exactly.
Britney might as well have posted a bunch of WTFs, LOLs and OMFGs in that poem to at least make it somewhat better.
LEIK I THRU MY MAN DOWN U NOW WHUT I MEAN?? OMFG LOLWTFBBQ!!!!11oneforthemoney
Heh.
The Federline Trilogy.. haha.. Classic!
I think you are all being unfair…
Britney is simply fufilling all of the pedo fantasies…
She’s showing that not only is she fine as hell and the biggest ho in tinseltown….
She also is as dumb as tits on a bull.
Simple perfection.
two words:
sucked ass
Once the laughing subsided, I looked at it in context and some non-mean-spirited thoughts came to mind: I find it equally sad and touching that she seems to regard her fans as friends. Obviously she is very lonely, and has few people to talk to, other than those on her payroll; but that is beside the point. I don’t think she meant for this to be published for all and sundry, she probably thought she was sharing a [silly, immature, schoolgirlish] hornymoon recap with her close “friends”.
I doubt it has crossed her mind that people would actually buy into her fan club for the single purpose of schadenfreude. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so glad you did, I can’t get enough of it. However, I think something like this is less fair game (though no less idiotic) than the moronic things she posts on her public site.
I’ll admit, that was well said, Holly.
1) is she stoned?
2) i just admitted outloud…hey britney looks better now….now im not so sure.
3)i feel strange inside. like a tingling..while reading this. i think its a panic attack.
LOL!
You people are a gag / #1 – Britney is a real person and she’s not even reading your comments, pleaze. I don’t know who yall are Typing to, but it’s not like ticking me off at all, because i realla don’t care what yall say about her.
I think the poem was humble and honest and i think that u people really suck. You’re not being fair to Britney by bashing her over a personal poem that-/-/ NO wasn’t going to be used for a poetry book. It was an idea /
You probably all own her latest LP, I really Bet / Tata, Brenda
brenda sweets, honestly learn how to type or proof or somethin. maybe you’re only 12 and dont know any better, but for someone her age, a performer no less, to allow that peice of trash to come out of her head through her hands onto the computer for us to veiw is simply astounding. whats more astounding is your attempt to somehow redeem the time we wasted reading it by saying it was sweet and she tried hard, thats like getting a dead rose from your boyfriend and and gettin giggly about it…..get a clue
i think my brain just imploded
britney sucks ass
i puked in the grass
i wish i wuz smarter
but i’m just a farter
poo
Well.. I do now believe we finally have solid proof that Britney is mental. If we go about this right, we could get her locked up behind soft walls in a nice shirt with long sleeves…
And Brenda: Put a bullet in your head, or Britneys, and make the world a better place. And take out mr. Bush when you’re at it.
There are too many morons alive.
britney has outdone herself this time… i can’t really see how a full-grown woman could write something as crappy as this… i bet, she is trying to make up for the childhood she never had… keep up the good work, brits, maybe we’ll get some pics of you naked next time…
brenda sweets, please forgive us for calling shit for shit… i would really like to throw you down after some ice-cream, tho’
Oh GOD.
Well you know: I’ve been saying it all along: Britney’s knee injury required so strong medication it severly damaged her brain. Completely obvious, right?
I second the disgust for “threw my man down.”
Jesus, what is so fabulous about this guy’s sex? Did Justin not manage to get her off? Are Cheetoes and Red Bull some sort of secret aphrodesiac? Did Jesus bless Kevin’s dick with three times the size and staying power? Because honestly, he seems to have nothing else to recommend him beyond the Dick O’ Powah.
I think its not so good but YA now it comes from the heart and thats wats most important!IM A BIG BRITNEY FAN I ALWAS LOVED HER… SO IF YOU SEE TIS BRITNEY COULD you anser ….love Rikke “a norwegian girl…..
Its okay that youre a big fan of her…
But please dont overdo it.
Its okay the poem sucks.
But please dont overdo it.
At least the poem is better than her very first single. Hit me baby one more time, oh baby baby..
But Britney, please…
…please dont overdo it!
Ash(“,)
hey, cut her some slack here people…
you’ve got to remember that this is the human-beeing who thought it was possible to survive beeing executed.. quote: “I think that execution as a punishment for a crime is a good thing, because then they suffer and learn their lesson for later…” obviosly the girl has no brains, really, no brains… at all!!
I feel… Feels like someone just stole 1min of my life, one min i will never get back reading that “poem”. And to those that think Britney will answer or is reading this, she wont answer, and isnt reading it.
Quote: Then I threw my man down, you know what I mean!
Must say, all time low for you Britney, sounds like a poem i made when I was six years old and had to make a poem about my vacation for school.
Haha!
I wonder how many 11 year olds are going to their moms and asking what Britney means by throwing her man down.
Ah…What a beautiful evening. I’ve got my hot cup of cocoa and i am totally in tears of laughter over y’all. I think there is proof that the poem Britney wrote was intelligent. All you folks are reading it , right ?
I am going to share with y’all a poem i wrote this afternoon on the balcony watching the beautiful day go by.
My dream is to also make it in music.
My desire is to be a folksy-kinda rock singer,
everybody. I love Brit- but i am not really into dance/pop anymore. I have lately been- totally inspired by Lisa Loeb and older Jewel. Tell me what yall think ?
“Please, Don’t make me get on my knees
You break my heart everytime i ask you pretty please.
Now don’t go doing it, now don’t go at all
You make my body confess your the best
out of them all.”
I know that most of you will not like this and will put me down, but i want to know what some of y’all think because i am probably going to release this on my new , well my actual 1′st cd.
Let me know y’all. Love and Hugs, Brenda
laughing my ass off. BRENDA YOU RULE!
The thing is I really hate to breake my friends’ hearts when they believe she sings att stage, when they are certain she writes her own hits. But why brit? I never say the truth, but how can anybody think you are gifted after this.. ehh.. yeah.
Brenda, this is obviously not the place to see what people think. If you act and write like Britney, you’re only going to get bad criticism like what was given to her. Oh, and if you say y’all one more time, especially in a poem, then God help you.
As for Britney, ha ha ha ha ….hahaha….HAHA…omg.
Please, please, please, oh please if there is a god let her try to get it published somewhere… my god, please. Ever since her letter of truth Brit-Brit’s a regular T.S. Eliot.
okay?????????????? think shitney should stick to dancing…. home in her livingroom…
First of all I feel I have to post a comment on this site because I’m really embarrased that a norwegian girl wrote that she’s a big Britney fan….Trust me, there are very few of us, and the minority of norwegian Britney – fans are the ones who either win a free ticket to meet her, accidentially gets her cd for x-mas or is either retarded or find it hard to listen to songs that don’t sing about “high,sky,fly”. And second, Britney underlined the fact that this was a wedding not well planned: “I packed my bags light and quick, then grabbed my pink dress and favourite lipstick” (?) Hey Britney: Would you be happy if your husband ,whatever-his-name-is, only brought one pair of boxers, and that these actually was the same pair he went swimming in the turtle pool with??? That’s just discusting….
BAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAA
*gasp*
HAHAHAAHAHAAAAAA
God, this poem makes me happy to be alive and have an education. Yes, indeed, these are the moments I live for.
Thank you for the massive giggles, Britney. You are quiet the poet laureate…
I kind of feel bad, like I’m laughing at someone who is functionally impaired.
haHA – oops, i pwn3d myself…damn you, typos! DAAAAMN YOUUUUU…
“quite,” not “quiet.”
At any rate, a very badly funny poem. hahaha
Ah. The poetic stylings of one Britney Spears. Has marriage ever sounded so sweet? Sweet as Peeps two weeks after Easter. Sweet as Koolaid spiked with tub gin. Sweet as a really bitchin’ ’76 camaro. Totally fucking sweet.
Heehee! I liked that one! (“,)
Oh I’m reaaaaaaly waiting for this to come out on CD…
that would be funny as hell….
well thanks brit/brenda…for the pain in my chest caused by mass laughter!!!
peace out
no one
I can’t figure out why people are still laughing about a poem that is in no way funny.
I will have to admit to myself that the poem is honest and could have been written a little less, i don’t know…Maybe less rhymey- is that a word, not sure ? Well anyway I’m very sure that Britney will surprise us with some new secrets in the coming months. I’m not going to like exactly elaborate on what i personally believe those secrets could contain, but let me tell ya’ll that i do believe we are indeed going to be very surprised with some of the new desicions she has been laying out.
I feel like i am writing in my journal back in high school taheehee.. Oh well i like being surprised. I think that people are criticizing Britney very much like the way Mariah has been well y’know dissed ever since her career slightly faded in 97 when she hooked up with P Diddy or should i say Puff Daddy. He-he.
I love Mariah but i feel sorry for her a little y’know. I believe britney has been through i don’t know , more probably than Mariah has , i guess in some aspect. being succesful isprobably is difficult. i wouldn’t know, but i can only imagine that a Britney would like to live her life for awhile without all the attention.
I mean well look at her she is so famous now, and is probably the new queen of pop, that’s the way i see it anyways.
Love Ya Everybody, Hugs..
Brenda
W.T.F
Brenda darlin’, av a fucking word wit woteva rip off, 300 dollar an hour fuckin psychiatrist u r seeing n ask im 2 beat you round the head wit a two by four for a while.
1. the poem was utter shite!
2. Britney aint been thru shit, she dont know real life, She had a charmed life from day 1.
3. Mariah was far more talented than britney ever was.
GuiltyC “ov” Da UK
Hey you raza !!!
En un super mega programa de radio de por acá, (monterrey, méxico) estuvieron leyendo ese intento de explotación cerebral de la britney… nos cagamos de risa porque esta rechafo…es una estúpida en su máxima expression….
De por sí ke ni la mueve al cantar… che zorra… ya no haya ke hacer pa’llamar la atención…
britney sucks…. estupida britney….
And they say Jessica Simpson is stupid, AJJAJAJAJAJJAJA, She looks smarter compared to what Britney wrote, AJAJJJAJA. Imagine if they had a poem contest… would it be Jessica the one to win?
I’m starting to think, that Jessica is way more intelligent and smart than Britney, AJJAJAJAJA…
Greetings from MTY, Thanks Ivan for the tip =P
I just don’t understand why Brenda has made it her personal mission to defend Britney unto death.
Look, I don’t think it’s particularly nice to laugh at someone’s attempt to showcase their inner feelings. If you had a really fabulous honeymoon with someone you loved, would you want people laughing at your inability to properly express that experience in iambic pentameter? Probably not. William Shakespeare she ain’t, but I love her with or without a ring on her finger. And I think it’s really nice that she loved Turtle Island. Britney and Kevin forever!
BK4EVER, You are a SWEETHEART DARLIN ..THANKYOU.
I’m blushin right now Y’all i don’t know what to say. 1′st of ALL BK4EVER is SO totally Right !
When Brit was writing this poem, it was to be genuine , honest and very simple.
ButI She actually thought it would be a great idea to publish online. I think that it was a totally awesome idea, because it helps us understand more who Britney really is and the changes that she has went through in her career.
I’m not going to cast my diamonds to the pigs right now by arguing on childish opinions of who is smarter or more talented. That is to me a waste of time. Britney YOU are POWERFUL , and EXALTED ! GO BRIT AND KEV 2005 ! YEE-HAW !
Hugs Everybody, Brenda
BK4EVER:
“Inner feelings”? Were you referring to her relaying her choice of favorite dress and lipstick, or eating ice cream and throwing down with Federline?
Were there deep and introspective verses that I missed? Hm. Perhaps I should read it again. Never was good at interpreting poetry. (But then, that doesn’t really apply here, does it?)
:P
c’mon BK4EVER
“If you had a really fabulous honeymoon with someone you loved, would you want people laughing at your inability to properly express that experience in iambic pentameter?”
exactly…i wouldn’t show the f*** world how bad i suck at writing poems!!! I would keep my honymoon including sexlife to myself!!!
peace out no one
greets UK!!!
c’mon BK4EVER
“If you had a really fabulous honeymoon with someone you loved, would you want people laughing at your inability to properly express that experience in iambic pentameter?”
Thats exactly my point…if I sucked at poetry I wouldn’t show it to the world! And my honymoon including sexlife I would keep to myself!!!Thats privat!!
peace out “y’all” no one
greetz to UK :D
ups i did it again?
LOL sry didn’t refresh my written text so i wrote it again….
no one
Brenda Sweets
Britney Spears
B S
Not very good at coming up with names are you Brit.
Your right tho Y’all
It is like her music and her initial BS
On all counts