While Stereogum hit the other coast, L. Lo came to the Big Apple and fucked shit UP. So much awesome.
Lindsay’s tired of rumors starting/being followed/people lying. Fortunately, she’s not tired of partying all time Eddie Murphy stizz. Here’s how our favorite teenage drama queen spent last week.
THURSDAY 12/2 Cara texts me: “I’m at Megu, sitting next to Lindsay Lohan and her friends.” I press her for dirt, but all I get is that she looks gaunt and spends much of the night in the bathroom. After sushi, LL & friends hit Marquee and pick up some dude named Clarence Fuller. At 2, the crew takes it to Suede. Dad Michael would been proud. Sadly, he’s been jailed on $1 million bail for driving to his estranged wife’s house, thus violating her protection order. Though in his defense he was drunk.
FRIDAY 12/3 Linds films something at Planet Hollywood and dines at Pastis, where she signs autographs for fans. At the 19th St. Loews she sees Christmas With The Kran… wait, no: she saw that Ché Guevara movie. Can that be right?
SATURDAY 12/4 LL shops, has romantic dinner with Fuller at Vela (according to Star), parties at Marquee, blah blah blah. This is where it gets interesting … Our protagnist loses her purse, and it’s later scooped off the street by a grammar-challenged Providence College alumnus. The young finder requests advice from sorority sistas in a delightfully paranoid pseudo diary entry that quickly makes the Internet rounds. The purse’s contents: LL’s black AMEX, driver’s license, a rolled up $20, and a bag of mysterious white power (anthrax?!). Click below to enlarge e-mail and scans of the cards.
SUNDAY 12/5 Lindsay’s quoted in USA Today: “It’s flattering that people want to know so much about me and want to take the time to make up that many things about me.” Awww.
MONDAY 12/6 Early XMas present for Charles Gibson: Lindsay is caught semi-singing, Ashlee-style, on Good Morning America. Casablanca Records spokeswoman Kim Jakwerth goes on the defensive: “Lindsay sang completely live, the band was live and the background singers were live.” Sort of. “…The first song had some background. It’s a little more rock and roll and needed it there. It’s about how you make the song sound exactly like the record.”
TUESDAY 12/7 Pre-teens in plunge halter tops crowd nations’ Wal-Marts on Speak day. Jay-Z/Linkin Park feel the burn. On TRL, a sick Linds complains she’s not feeling so hott. “I’ve just been working a lot but, ya know, it’s all worth it.”
WEDNESDAY 12/8 AP asks the important questions.
AP: When you go to clubs and stuff do you show ID or something?
Lohan: No, you go in the back door.
AP: Why were you in the hospital?
Lohan: Exhaustion. I lost, like, 15 pounds. And when I got out the whole breakup happened and I lost more weight.
Got that? Underfed Linds on breakup diet, not fags & blow diet. v.v. confusing.
THURSDAY 12/9 Conciliatory Tara Reid tells Page Six that Lohan is the wilder of the two.
FRIDAY 12/10: Lohan’s rep denies missing purse story: “It was a card case.”
No longer distracted by all the excitement, Lo-dad takes a private jet to a minimum-security rehab facility in upstate New York. Lo-mom/manager/ex-Rockette Dina wants divorce 28 days later.
Lindsay disrobes for EW. ”What America loves about her,” Dina says in the cover story, ”She’s so real.” Except for the gams, obvs.
Thank Britney it’s only a matter of weeks before childhood friends and married backup dancers are fighting to get a ride on train Lohan. The good news is that the album is not any worse than Ashlee/Britney/Mandy/Hilary/Jimmy(Buffet). Of course, I don’t recommend it to music fans, but if your Mini iPod’s gym mix looks like a NOW tracklist then it’s up your alley. Swedish computers made it, you know how that goes.
Questions for further discussion:
- 1. Are the purse e-mail and cards real? (Visit Snopes for the latest conspiracy theories.)
- 2. If you answered YES to questions 1, do Lindsay and MKO have the same dealer and will he do a Gothamist Interview?
- 3. Is LL aware track 8 sounds like “Paranoid Android”?
OBLIGATORY UPDATE:
SATURDAY 12/11 SNL cameo! LL rejects Fred Armisen’s pick-up line (“Hi Lindsay, um, a lot of people on the Internet think I’m gay…”) and sends herself up brilliantly on Weekend Update. Screengrabs here (via Whatevs). Torrent TK
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whoa…damn that license pic is ugly…she looks like a gremlin!
i think you just put me out of a job…
…although i did spot the radiohead likeness first!
yer lucky i heart you and not huckabees!
x’s and ho’s
-the thigh master
WHY DO YOU PEOPLE CARE SO MUCH?
I SMELL JEALOUSLY/ENVY/RAGE/ANGER/DEPRESSION/ETC.
STEREOGUM, YOU SHOULD BUY BUBBLEGUMTEENPOPGOSSIP.COM OR SOMETHING AND REDIRECT THIS SITE THERE
Better to redirect here–”Pioneers Of Modern Design: From Britney Spears To Christina Aguilera”.
http://www.omnitecturalforum.com/POMD/POMD.html
Architectural history collides with pop tarts.
One of those OMG/WTF-category tips/gossip/million e-mails stereogum’s yet to address–maybe he will, maybe he won’t.
Anyone else notice the resemblance between Lohan’s EW cover and Elle MacPhearson’s May 1994 Playboy cover?
You can watch Lindsay screw up her lip synching on GMA, here:
http://lm.bentis.info/index.php?action=category&id=1
I have to disagree with GET A LIFE, You serve the purpose of bringing us the crap we think we don’t care about but secretly do, You’re LIke ENtertainment Tonight, no one will admit they watch it
Lohan on SNL tonight
is that driver license real? i know that lindsay has had her license for a while and i just got my two weeks ago and my expires in ’08 while hers expires in ’09. how is that possible?
*”…The first song had some background. It’s a little more rock and roll and needed it there. It’s about how you make the song sound exactly like the record.”*
Isn’t that… a tad fucked up?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
that license is definitely a fake
l. lo wasnt 16 until 2002 and they have changed the style of DLs in california several times and they havent looked like that since 2000 or so i would say
nevertheless, i am sure at least some of this is true
Radiofreewill, I totally noticed that. What do you think it means?
Just leave her alone…..
That’s uncanny,
those Swedish computers should’ve known better.
Make sure to add in her SNL appearance, which probably included making out with Colin Farrell sometime during the night.
Actually, my roomate was at the SNL after party last night. Said LL was loaded and hanging all over Colin Farrell and got visibly upset when he only gave her a quick smooch on his way out the door.
That’s an amazingly skanky cover picture.
She has such a young looking face in that picture, and her torso looks really childlike. She looks like the old pre-teen Lindsay Lohan, but nearly naked. Yuck.
I can just imagine the conversation between her and her friend after coming out of the Che movie.
LL: “I hate movies were you have to think….that Gael what ever guy is really hot but anytime that you are around him….he’d make you be all smart and stuff….I soooo can’t deal with that”!
LL Friend: “Yeah, you are soooo right I hate movies and guys like that!”
LL: “You wanna go to Pastis, then meet my girl Tara afterward at Bungalow 8? Oh my gwad I’m so going to get me some from Colin Farell when I go on SNL this weekend….he is so my kinda guy”!
no i am not saying this b/c i am jealous or whatever, but I truly do despise this bitch. If she doesn’t want all the attention, then WHY is she basically screaming for it w/her ridiculous actions? She’s a poseur.
Wow, that’s a lotta Lohan info right there.
And Oooooooh, Colin Farrell said “I $#!+ you not” at the end of SNL. (Funny though, the closed-captions read “I kid you not.”)
Both Lindsay and that er, ‘full-figured’ chick from Scissor Sisters made a mock gasp upon hearing this display of profanity.
So of course, NBC will be fined a ridiculous amount by the FCC, family and religious groups will go all ape-doody… again. And that entire SNL episode will be banished from re-runs and syndication.
Welcome to the America of the Bush administration.
I have it from a reliable member of the GC camp that Lindsay got in a fight with Hil Duff backstage at the Z100 Jingle Ball on Friday over Joel Madden. Apparently she caused quite a ruckus. Someone’s gotta have a picture of that for you, Stereogum.
even if that story was fake it was fucken entertaining and i loved every bit of it. thanks stereogum, for providing this 24 year old gal with a smrik this evening by posting it.
p.s. happy birthday to this Liz broad. you might not haven been able to party like a video hoe with your friends but at least they had good intentions.
holy shit, that song is Paranoid Android off the heezy.
And those lyrics can suck my balls.
But I still love the bitch- always will.
First you take Aaron then you want my creepy pouser boyfriend whose just about 10 years older then me, you can have him you bitch skank…oh my gwad Haylie I said bitch skank..!
Just imaging what Hillary Duff may have said to Lindsay
SCOTT, YOU MUST WATCH!!!
http://www.lohanfreestyle.com/
LL that was hilarious, ty
I think they have shrunk a little since she has lost so much weight.
well they say a steady diet of coke and cofee can stunt your growth….
In Lindsay Lohan’s drivers license, it says her middle name is “Dee” but it is actually “Morgan”. Also the picture background is not white, which all photo ID’s have a universal background of white. Not real at all, probably made online by stalkers.
does anyone have lindsay’s performances from snl on video?
Re: the background color of the license — mine is blue, not white. I couldn’t tell you the veracity of anything else regarding if the ID is real or not, but the background doesn’t prove anything.
That story is just too funny. True or not? Who knows. I don’t know about California licenses, but all license backgrounds aren’t white. The background on mine is blue. It may be fake, it could be a copy from the DMV. According to the CA DMV website, ID cards and licenses and such are public information and anyone can request copies. They exclude the persons address though, which could be why it is excluded here also.
There is info listed about it in the faq.
http://www.dmv.ca.gov/faq/genfaq.htm#BM2548
Just another wanna-be-punk-and-is-not.Hilary Duff is better than her,she`s 100000000000000 times better than her.Her video of rumors was very sickening. Hilary doesn`t expose herself that much.Anyways Lindsay stinks!!!!
Lindsay most feel so proud of herself for doing what her peers have already done.
Lindsay’s middle name is Morgan. The ID’s a fake.
if that license is fake, whoever made it is fuckin’ good at what they do, cause it looks just like mine. My picture background is also blue like in the picture above. Good details. But like people said, her middle name is Morgan (unless IMBD is wrong) and so I don’t know what the whole Dee name is all about. You’d think that if someone wanted to go to the trouble to make a fake ID for her they’d at least get the middle name right.
They also have her address wrong. Her address is…MARQUEE! Oh she doesent live there? Could have fooled me.
cmon ppl leev lindsay alone, i no she mite b a skanky lil bitch ..but wat she doz is her buisness n not yurs so juz mind ya own buisness. and mayb she doz dis stuff bcoz she knows shes gonna get attention ..mayb if u didnt advertise da stuff she doz evrywhere n not make a big deal bout it she’ll get ova it… o well its up2 u n e way!!! but i must admit dat its pretty gud readin it wen ya bored shitless its pretty amusing!!!
n e way cya mwahz(K) luv yas cassie(K)(L)
that last post was so fucking hard to read, it gave me headache.
oooo!!! snap!!!! damn!!!!!! that license pic iz so U..G..L..Y..!!!!!!!
oooo!!! snap!!!! damn!!!!!! that license pic iz so U..G..L..Y..!!!!!!!
with role models like robbie williams around is it any wonder these teenagers are on coke, when he openly admits that the best times of his life were when he was high! If LL is doing coke, shes not the only teenager in the world, and she needs help before it gets out of control
with role models like robbie williams around is it any wonder these teenagers are on coke, when he openly admits that the best times of his life were when he was high! If LL is doing coke, shes not the only teenager in the world, and she needs help before it gets out of control
i hate lindsay anywayz. she’s such a slut and she’s so young. she’s throwing herself away. she tries to hard to look sexy and whatever and she’s not even remotely pretty. so she should just do everyone a favor and stop before she embarasses herself even more. oh and i agree that liscence is totally fake, not to mention her pic sucks. she should go screw herself
i liked lindsay in her movies.but now she has become a hore like britney and x-tina
wow that pic is really ugly well lets just say alot of her pic are ugly lol well buh bye you losser
amex card is fake, it has 16 digits, amex’s only have 15, i work for amex
The driver’s license is fake because Lindsay’s middle name is Morgan, not Dee. And I highly doubt that Lindsay could drop her purse in the middle of the street and not realize it. It’s amazing how people can make up stories like this!