Now that Britney’s (almost) rehabilitated, thank god we have Miss Lindsay Lohan to turn to for the sort of “letters of truth” only an overpaid, undereducated starlet could pen. The esteemed director Robert Altman passed away this Monday, and Lindsay sent this heart-felt missive to his family (via USA Today):
“I would like to send my condolences out to Catherine Altman, Robert Altmans wife, as well as all of his immediate family, close friends, co-workers, and all of his inner circle.“I feel as if I’ve just had the wind knocked out of me and my heart aches.
“If not only my heart but the heart of Mr. Altman’s wife and family and many fellow actors/artists that admire him for his work and love him for making people laugh whenever and however he could..
“Robert altman made dreams possible for many independent aspiring filmmakers, as well as creating roles for countless actors.
“I am lucky enough to of been able to work with Robert Altman amongst the other greats on a film that I can genuinely say created a turning point in my career.
“I learned so much from Altman and he was the closest thing to my father and grandfather that I really do believe I’ve had in several years.
“The point is, he made a difference.
“He left us with a legend that all of us have the ability to do.
“So every day when you wake up.
“Look in the mirror and thank god for every second you have and cherish all moments.
“The fighting, the anger, the drama is tedious.
“Please just take each moment day by day and consider yourself lucky to breathe and feel at all and smile. Be thankful.
“Life comes once, doesn’t ‘keep coming back’ and we all take such advantage of what we have.
“When we shouldn’t….. ‘
“Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourselves’ (12st book) -everytime there’s a triumph in the world a million souls hafta be trampled on.-altman Its true. But treasure each triumph as they come.
“If I can do anything for those who are in a very hard time right now, as I’m one of them with hearing this news, please take advantage of the fact that I’m just a phone call away.
God Bless, peace and love always.
Thank You,
“BE ADEQUITE”
Lindsay Lohan
Don’t know about y’all, but that’s fucking inspiring. This Thanksgiving, let’s be thankful for the adequite things in our lives. Let’s also find out what it means to be “adequite.” Amen.
You Might Also Like
 Tamaryn Soundtracks Lindsay Lohan Short Film |  The Blow Returns With New EP, Shows, Some Lindsay Lohan |
 |
 |
Ohhhh
I can’t believe I read that
even I’M not cynical enough to touch
that one…
beautiful.
Her heart’s in the right place, I guess.
I don’t even understand this part???
“Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourselves’ (12st book) -everytime there’s a triumph in the world a million souls hafta be trampled on.-altman Its true.
That made my brain hurt something fierce. The girls an idiot.
can i be the first to say that if you have that much money and you live in hollywood,and you can’t get an out of work writer to come up with somehting better than this….
well then, you are a cad miss. lohan!
A CAD~!
“I am lucky enough to of been able to work with Robert Altman…”
Did anybody else catch that? ‘Enought to of been’? What the hell?
Apparently to be a multimillion dollar actress you don’t need any knowledge of grammar or the english language.
Honestly, this was just painful to read.
Okay, so her writing isn’t the best. But am I the only one who thinks it’s weird, if not completely wrong, to mock a personal letter of condolence sent to family members of a cancer victim? Christ.
Besides, it’s not like Lohan’s grammar is any worse than that of most Stereogum commenters.
I’m pretty sure this was a press release, so…anything that it released to the media is ripe for scrutiny as far as I am concerned. Couldn’t she have had someone proof read it? I think it sort of defeats the purpose, sending something so unreadable.
She’s an actress, not a writer – calm down.
Phil Hartman did a great bit about what it means to be adequate in NewsRadio
I don’t think anyone has or would ever mistake Ms. Lohan for a writer…but when we start lowering our standards to the point that it’s acceptable for the average person to be unable to form coherent sentences, we’ve gone off the deep end.
If the note was handwritten, especially if it was in cursive, the discrepancies in capitalization and apostrophe use are understandable.
If this was typed on a computer, using just about any word processor, then I have no idea why she didn’t just right-click all those words underlined in red.
Unless she was just lit up like a roman candle when she wrote it. Which is what I’m guessing.
See, Lohan doesn’t seem to be a COMPLETE moron in the same way that, say, Britney Spears is. However, she has been a working actress for most of her life. I’m guessing her formal education has been erratic and spotty. I (nearly) have a BA in English and I make spelling and grammar errors more often than I’d like to admit.
If you have ever lost someone you care very much about, getting plastered and writing incoherent letters is as good a coping mechanism as any other I can think of.
If the note was handwritten, especially if it was in cursive, the discrepancies in capitalization and apostrophe use are understandable.
If this was typed on a computer, using just about any word processor, then I have no idea why she didn’t just right-click all those words underlined in red.
Unless she was just lit up like a roman candle when she wrote it. Which is what I’m guessing.
See, Lohan doesn’t seem to be a COMPLETE moron in the same way that, say, Britney Spears is. However, she has been a working actress for most of her life. I’m guessing her formal education has been erratic and spotty. I (nearly) have a BA in English and I make spelling and grammar errors more often than I’d like to admit.
If you have ever lost someone you care very much about, getting plastered and writing incoherent letters is as good a coping mechanism as any other I can think of.
you don’t flame a condolensce letter, just don’t.
Dear The Altman’s,
Jesus! It’s Thanksgiving. Be nice. FUCK!
Love, Eva Longoria
Amen, bitches.
you don’t flame a condolensce letter, just don’t.
So, an actress who doesn’t have flawless grammatical skills (unlike all of you bloggers) is sad because somebody she cared for died? And she wants to send her love to his family? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! She’s is so stupid! Tee-he!!!
you don’t flame a condolensce letter, just don’t.
Yeah, Sarah, when that personal letter of condolence is printed in USA Today, it is worthy of open mockery and derision. My favorite part is that she implores the grief stricken family to call her. Can you imagine how unbearably awkward that phone call could be? Catherine Altman calls from the funeral home to seek solace as LiLo does a rail in the VIP section of the Viper Room. “Yah, Miz Altman, i am SO there with you and your sad. What? No I can’t turn it down. It’s a DJ. A DJ!! What? No, I can’t make it Sunday. I have to go to Paris for a… thing. Sorry, Miz Altman, gotta go. Guillermo needs some air. What? What was the last part of that question? OHHHH! No, it was photoshopped. I SAID IT WAS PHOTOSHOPPED. Yeah, I thought they looked kind of weird and hairless, too. Bye, Cathy. Don’t hesitate to call.”
Oh yeah, Robert Altman, RIP. I don’t know what else to say. He was one of the few original voices in film that didn’t burn out. It’s very sad when irreplaceable leaves us.
I lost brain cells reading that mess.
This isn’t some deeply personal expression of grief that TMZ got their hands on and leaked to the web, it’s a fucking press release. It’s disgusting that she decided the best way to offer her condolences was through the press.
Personally, I think this is a great way for Lohan to shout, “HEY, LOOK AT ME, BOB ALTMAN WAS LIKE A FATHER TO ME AND THAT MAKES ME A LEGITMATE ACTRESS,” which is far more upsetting than poor grammar. Flame away.
I’d be paying her a compliment if I called her a functioning retard.
I can’t believe I’m saying this.
Agh. Here goes…
Lindz has been such a self-centered little twit lately (uh, uh, uh! I said “TWIT”) that this rather bloated attempt at high-minded condolence takes on that much more value. That she, or her PR agent, took time for the note as opposed to running more spin on her recent car accident says a little something.
We can’t really speculate what her intentions were, be they magnanimous or just brownus noseus, but the attempt means something when it’s made by someone who seems otherwise lost in her own psycho-bubble. Give her that much credit…
DwD
I can’t believe her PR person even let it through. That person needs to be fired.
It may have some good intentions but if she was truly sorry/classy, it would’ve been sent privately. Press release? That’s just embarrassing.
Surely this is made-up, right? It’s simply too horrendous to be true!
Surely this is made-up, right? It’s simply too horrendous to be true!
her heart’s in the right place, but come on…go back to school, lindsay!
and max is right, the classy thing would’ve been to send the letter directly to mrs. altman.
lindsay complains about the invasion of her privacy, but she turns EVERYTHING into a publicity ploy.
RETARD
omg, girl needs to learn how to use commaz
i think she means the 12st book of scientology. or as lindsay calls it – skyant biology.
Didn’t she have a small role in his last film?
I’m going to be confused for all of thanksgiving. I don’t think she understands the concept of a condolence letter. Next time someone I ‘care about’ dies, I would ask that no one tell me to “consider (my)self lucky to breathe.”
“Skyant Biology”.
This one made me laugh until I coughed.
Thanks, man (or madame)!
DwD
So she can’t write well—lots of people can’t. But she’s just a teenager sending an awkward letter because she’s sad that somebody died. Leave her alone! It’s not like she did something stupid and malicious. Making fun of somebody’s inability to spell is so GameFAQs message board, you know?
Give LiLo a break — her grammar, diction and spelling are pretty fair for someone who was blasted out of her mind on blow when she wrote it(and decided to CC: USA Today???). So take it easy on her.
It’s not the grammar.
It’s not the syntax.
It’s not the spelling.
For God’s sakes, a heartfelt note written on a pizza box would be meaningful to most people.
What’s demeaning, and she’s far from the first to be guilty of this offense, is the effort to call attention to herself in a moment that should be about the man, his family, those who loved him, and his legacy.
Especially around Thanksgiving, could we just set the cynicism aside for a few seconds? Maybe just assume good and heartfelt intentions? He touched many lives in many ways. Clearly it wasn’t written by a publicist or a PR firm. Kudos to Lindsay for being open enough to share her own words of sorrow with Altman’s family.
…and the rest of the world.
Earlthedog has it right. Some of you seem to think that if she took a crap on Altman’s grave, that as long as she was crying while doing it, it would be fine and we should give her props for it.
she is an idiot. not only is the letter terribly written, but the whole point is to draw attention to herself. i’m convinced L-Lo is even dumber/crazier than Paris, in part because she seems to take herself a lot more seriously.
this sounds like a piece of chain mail sent on a bulletin on myspace…
which is to say, it’s crap.
this sounds like a piece of chain mail sent on a bulletin on myspace…
which is to say, it’s crap.
this sounds like a piece of chain mail sent on a bulletin on myspace…
which is to say, it’s crap.
uhm… am i the only one wondering where the gum has been all day?
At least we know she wrote it herself.
I like how “Be Adequate” is like her life mantra. “My goal as an actor/singer is always to be adequate, but nothing special.”
jj: sadly, i think thanksgiving day = no new posts.
When I read “keep coming back”, I immediately recognized it as a phrase from AA/NA.
Then she quoted a step from a “12s book” (12-step book, like the Big Book of AA).
Let’s hope the ‘program’ helps alcholics and piss-poor writers. Best of luck, dear, anyways.
When I read “keep coming back”, I immediately recognized it as a phrase from AA/NA.
Then she quoted a step from a “12s book” (12-step book, like the Big Book of AA).
Let’s hope the ‘program’ helps alcholics and piss-poor writers. Best of luck, dear, anyways.
Ease up.
I’d still bang her.
Ease up.
I’d still bang her.
maybe it’s kind of insensitive to mock someone’s condolence letter, but come on. if it had been sent to the family in a plain white envelope, instead of being thrust at the media, it’d be a different story. but wide-release like this, it’s just BEGGING to be mocked.
as it stands, my eyes are bleeding. all i’m asking for is a basic grasp of the english language.
maybe it’s kind of insensitive to mock someone’s condolence letter, but come on. if it had been sent to the family in a plain white envelope, instead of being thrust at the media, it’d be a different story. but wide-release like this, it’s just BEGGING to be mocked.
as it stands, my eyes are bleeding. all i’m asking for is a basic grasp of the english language.
The “fearless and searching moral inventory” has always been my favorite of the twelve steps, but it’s funny that she assumes everyone is familiar with them.
I don’t doubt she has good intentions. If a PR person had written that, they’d have run spell check.
She is still functionally illiterate and strung out all the time though.
I personally liked the comments where people made fun of her poor English and then proceeded to rape their punctuation marks. Bravo, good posters.
“it’s funny that she assumes everyone is familiar with them.”
People do this shit all the time with astrological signs and personality types too. Is everyone really supposed to have a working knowledge of that stuff? If so, I really missed the boat. And I don’t care.
That was like reading Ultragrrl’s blog…
I’m sure they’ll be plenty more chances to verbally abuse Good Ol’ Firecrotch in the future. Can we PLEASE let this one – just this one – pass? I promise I’ll make fun of her in the future.
i’d bang her on robert altman’s coffin.
“I personally liked the comments where people made fun of her poor English and then proceeded to rape their punctuation marks. Bravo, good posters.”
A post on a message board and a press release to USA Today are not congruous…although Miss Lohan seems to think differently. The letter reads like a drunken IM away message.
anyone been to an AA meeting lately?
Lamppost writes: “I’m sure they’ll be plenty more chances…”
Are you Lindsay’s English teacher, perchance?
Not sure why people feel the need to defend her; she wouldn’t scrape the shit off her boots on anyone here. Lindsay can handle herself.
Are people really defender *her*, per se, or just pointing out that attacking a sympathy note (in general, no matter the author) is in poor taste?
*Defending*, that is. Oops.
that was…odd. it sounded a lot like one of those cute ‘engrish’ type things that an asian high school student would write in practice for their english exams, or maybe to their pen pal.
i kind of even forgot it was written by lohan at all, i was so sure it was some 15-year old japanese girl! maybe. that was the intent? that there are no language barriers presented when there is love, and tragedy, at a time of grief and loss.
ohman, i could be a kickass PR!
making spelling errors and misusing punctuation marks are not tantamount to lacking a “basic grasp” of the english language. the hyperbole only serves to make you look simple, folks. no, it’s not that well-written, but if she were truly “functionally illiterate” we would not be able to make sense of her writing.
If she’s not “functionally illiterate” then what the hell is “be adequite”? But the worst thing about this thing isn’t the grammar, it’s the intent. And did she seriously say “consider yourself lucky to breathe or feel at all” to the Altman family in a condolence letter?! She should’ve just kicked them all in the shins.
Poor taste is sending an almost stream of consciousness “sympathy letter” to the press. If you’ll notice, many other actors released finely constructed brief statements to the media on the day of Altman’s death. What she did is entirely inappropriate.
Oohhhhh everyone stop, it looks like Lindsay Lohan has something moving and important to say…
Oh wait, I was wrong.
i don’t get it
Normally, I’m all for making fun of celebrities and the like, but you’re way off on this one. We’re all well aware that Lindsay Lohan’s a fucking moron, but the fact that she took the time to write this letter herself instead of delegating it to an assistant shows a touch of class. It’s not a angry open letter about celebrity X or about how she was unfairly portrayed in (blank), it’s her condolences over a fucking death. It might have been a bit inappropriate of her not to check her spelling, and I don’t even know what she’s trying to say with “be adequite”, but this letter certainly doesn’t merit this kind of mockery.
At least she wrote it, which puts her one step above James Frey. No pun intended.
I eagerly await the day LiLo’s memoir “Be Adequite” makes Oprah’s Book Club. Although if she’s ever in a porno, I hope they scrap her mantra and title it “LiLo and Snatch”.
At least she wrote it, which puts her one step above James Frey. No pun intended.
I eagerly await the day LiLo’s memoir “Be Adequite” makes Oprah’s Book Club. Although if she’s ever in a porno, I hope they scrap her mantra and title it “LiLo and Snatch”.
Stereogum writers, how long can you claim to be on Thanksgiving break? Come back now…please?
i’m trying to figure out what Adequite means? I get adequate. Which is like- being “sufficient”. which if thats the case, why is she talking the talk and not walking the walk?
“Be adequate- show up late to work all the time and piss off the REAL actors you work with/for.”
“Be adequate- claim you have a shopping disease and you spend bizillions of dollars a year on clothes you where once (have you heard of starving Countries?”
“Be adequate- cause world turmoil because your an idiot and keep millions of dollars of jewelry in your purse and lose it”
“Be adequate- why do 3 small bumps of coke when you can do 3 long lines?”
“Be adequate- who needs underwear? YOU DON’T NEED NO STINKIN’ PANTIES WHEN YOUR CROTCH IS ABLAZE!”
i’m trying to figure out what Adequite means? I get adequate. Which is like- being “sufficient”. which if thats the case, why is she talking the talk and not walking the walk?
“Be adequate- show up late to work all the time and piss off the REAL actors you work with/for.”
“Be adequate- claim you have a shopping disease and you spend bizillions of dollars a year on clothes you where once (have you heard of starving Countries?”
“Be adequate- cause world turmoil because your an idiot and keep millions of dollars of jewelry in your purse and lose it”
“Be adequate- why do 3 small bumps of coke when you can do 3 long lines?”
“Be adequate- who needs underwear? YOU DON’T NEED NO STINKIN’ PANTIES WHEN YOUR CROTCH IS ABLAZE!”
Altman was known for telling his actors “that was adequate” upon filming a good take.
Who would of guessed that Lindsay Lohan would be so good with words?
She gets alot of bad press, but things like this show us that her heart is just like you and me. She is so brave to right exactly what she thinks without worrying what the consaquences might be. What a inspiration. Like lindsay, I try to “take each moment day by day” and it usually works good. My motto is “carpe deim”, which is greek for “sieze teh day”. If I have learnt anything form my life, it is the importance of expressing yourself adequitely, as lindsay did. And smileing. Lots of smileing. I like Lindsay Lohan. I like puppies to. Well, time to go. Laguna beach is on.
Stay in School!
Yavola.
Hey….. I think she misspelled “God”!!!
I think ?Be Mediokre? would have been a better slogan.
http://www.BeAdequite.com – enjoy!
Man! -who Farted in that press-blowing, self-serving, drug fiend’s cranium and called it a brain!?!
-A Press Release?!!! -You send them (privately and directly) a small, plain, tasteful card (mb smt. from Crane’s) and 1)express your sincere condolences, 2)cite a nice, memorable or charming characteristic/anecdote about the departed and 3)sign off and get the fuck out of there.
Anything else could come off as Ultimate Supreme Offense to someone at perhaps the Worst moment of their lives; having a loved one die.
-shithead is too kind an aspersion to cast! -Even Navin Johnson is smarter!
You are talking like babies guys!! Maybe she is damn good i math or something else you don’t even know what is!!!
You are not more perfect than anyone else!
It’s really sad that people feel the need to comment on another persons personal letter of condolances.
Don’t you people have anything else to do than to pick on others?
It’s really sad that people feel the need to comment on another persons personal letter of condolances.
Don’t you people have anything else to do than to pick on others?
you guys are just jealous. do you feel better when you write shit about other people? she’s a person too you know.
This must be one of the most childish things i’ve ever read. And no, i don’t refer to Lindsay’s condolence.
As a act of “good will” it should be treated with respect. I feel sorry for the journalist who could’nt find something more appropriate (is this right?) to write about.
Andreas, Norway
I actually think u guys have lost it I dont think she is stupid in anyway. Even tho she has dyslexia doesnt mean she is stupid its spelling and grammar disabilities so yes I know how many suffer from those disabilities ur saying that shes stupid well she aint shes actually very very bright and also very intelligent for writing something to somebody she cared for and has actually died from cancer. I was touched when I actually read her script to the one she loved it was well written I only saw a couple of spelling mistakes and so on doesnt mean one is stupid far from it. So I really mean u guys need to take the sock out from ur asses and see the real world. She aint dumb she has prolly learning and writing disabilities doesnt mean she is stupid. If she was retarded then it would be something different again that is an illness whereas the other stuff is just learning and writing disabilities. Fuck sakes cant u guys tell the difference. U guys arent bright either for saying something rash as that. She prolly isnt the brighest figure but she certainly isnt stupid. So u guys for writing those silly moronic comments should actually reconsider what u have been saying.
The End!
I actually think u guys have lost it I dont think she is stupid in anyway. Even tho she has dyslexia doesnt mean she is stupid its spelling and grammar disabilities so yes I know how many suffer from those disabilities ur saying that shes stupid well she aint shes actually very very bright and also very intelligent for writing something to somebody she cared for and has actually died from cancer. I was touched when I actually read her script to the one she loved it was well written I only saw a couple of spelling mistakes and so on doesnt mean one is stupid far from it. So I really mean u guys need to take the sock out from ur asses and see the real world. She aint dumb she has prolly learning and writing disabilities doesnt mean she is stupid. If she was retarded then it would be something different again that is an illness whereas the other stuff is just learning and writing disabilities. Fuck sakes cant u guys tell the difference. U guys arent bright either for saying something rash as that. She prolly isnt the brighest figure but she certainly isnt stupid. So u guys for writing those silly moronic comments should actually reconsider what u have been saying.
The End!
My english is not good, but i will try to write something down anyway.
Poor girl. I know very little about this girl, but everytime she does something “wierd” or “wrong”, the newspapers in norway writes about it, and we have read alot about her lately.
About alcohol problems,car crashes and other things.
If I was her I would keep a extremly low profile the next couple of years, and just let my self me forgotten.
This life she lives will litterly kill her someday.
Why can’t people just let her be,and where is her parents?
And so what ? The girl makes money, she is good-looking and she felt sorry so she wrote a letter. She might not be an expert in expressing her feelings, but at least she’s got feelings. What about all the others who did’n care and didn’t write ? I’d rather have her for a friend than all you pumped-up critics.
I also wonder what goes on in a person’s head when he insists that “she wrote the letter to get more PR for herself”!
You don’t expect a letter to a widow to be published in a newspaper. By the way, how did this journalist get the letter ? Did he steal it?
If someone in the family gave it to him, maybe someone should write a little piece about them.
Excuse me, but what the hell is wrong with her letter!!?? It seemed very sincere to me and thoughtful, at the very least. Did anyone else have the thoughtfulness to send condolences to his family without their publicist doing it for them?? And it certainly wasn’t that poorly written. You people that critcized her for it need to GET A LIFE!!! Quit worrying about what Lindsey does, and worry ’bout yourselves.
Ok. So she misspelled alot.
But at least she wrote the letter herself, and not some pr-dude who writes the same old cold “sorry-for-your-loss” letter..
Who cares about her grammar/spelling
The girl have perky tits and red hair.
To all you critics out there: I hope your own grammar and writing are spotless. It must be, since you think you have the right to pass all this bullshit about another person. I pitty you all.
I agree with Cris (1 des.)! You all should stop caring about her spelling and get a life…
It’s so easy to see her problems but you can’t see you own…
I have to admit that I see more typo’s among the comments than in the letter. I guess somebody should look more in the mirror than on the computerscreen?
To all you clever writers : How much do you earn ? How many people know you? How many movies have you taken part in ? And who cares about anything you say or do ?
HA, HA ! This is my butt laughing at you all !
No matter how much crap you are writing, nobody will ever recognice you ! And if Lindsey will write a letter to my family when I’m dead, I’ll be honored ! You losers will just have to hope that someone will remember you (or your family) when your time has come !
Yessss ! I love it when a bunch of losers try to write crap about people who made it! What do they call it ? Envy ? Whatever you write, try to climb out of your gutter (and have a nice weekend !)
To all you clever writers : How much do you earn ? How many people know you? How many movies have you taken part in ? And who cares about anything you say or do ?
HA, HA ! This is my butt laughing at you all ! No matter how much crap you are writing, nobody will ever recognice you ! And if Lindsey will write a letter to my family when I’m dead, I’ll be honored ! You losers will just have to hope that someone will remember you (or your family) when your time has come !
Yessss ! I love it when a bunch of losers try to write crap about people who made it! What do they call it ? Envy ? Whatever you write, try to climb out of your gutter (and have a nice weekend !)
Give the girl a break. I’m sure we’ve all (except perhaps, the holier-than-thou) have fired off quick emails with appalling grammar. I know I have, even if I’m normally quite proud of my language skills (even in English, which is not my first language).
It seems Ms. Lohan’s problem is not necessarily a lack of language skills, but a lack of judgement; a letter of condolence(?) should perhaps be something more than a quickly jotted down email?