Google’s quest to provide endless means for procrastination received an infusion last month with the launch of their Patent Search, a kid-friendly search engine to dig up the history, tech info, and schematics on all sorts of legally-protected, hair-brained schemes. Ironic Sans is all over it, pulling registered patents from the likes of Harry Connick, Jr., Lawrence Welk, and this masterpiece from Eddie Van Halen (via Gawker):

Sorry, budding axe-slingers; ripping like Eddie’s against the law! And some more bad news: you’ll never defy gravity like Jacko, either. We couldn’t find anything on Tom Waits’s voicebox, which means Honus Honus is in the clear. Let us know if you find any others!

Eddie Van Halen played on Michael Jackson's - San Francisco Music ...
Eddie Van Halen and Michael Jackson during an on-stage 'gurn-off' in ...
Eddie Van Halen and Michael Jackson Backstage 1984 | Flickr - Photo ...
Eddie Van Halen & Michael Jackson - Fotolog
A 26-letter look into the life of legendary act Van Halen
During performances, he has set fire to drumsticks, cymbals and gongs. B is for "Beat It," the Michael Jackson tune that featured a guitar solo played by Eddie Van Halen. "Beat It" spent three weeks at No. 1 on Billboard magazine's Hot 100 chart in 1983.
Adele's '21' likely to top charts again after Grammys sweep
The Grammy Awards' album of the year topped Billboard's album chart last week and it could be there again when new Nielsen SoundScan numbers are released Wednesday, even with competition from the first new Van Halen ... "It's much like Michael Jackson.
Comments (5)
  1. Derek Sunshine  |   Posted on Jan 4th, 2007

    And Tom Waits has sued folks for sounding like him. Well, at least folks who sound like him and sing in auto adverts.

    http://www.stereogum.com/archives/001842.html

    So, I guess as long as Honus Honus stays away from ads, he’s okay – though I would like to hear a Man Man version of “Crazy ‘Bout A Ford Truck.”

  2. dannygutters  |   Posted on Jan 4th, 2007

    Admit it, you’d take up smoking again if you had the welk ashtray.

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