It’s a timeless philosophical debate: What makes a video crappy? What makes a video great? Even the most ill-conceived and poorly executed video can make us nostalgic for a forgotten trend, or remind us of a song we used to love for all the wrong reasons. Twice a week, we dig in the MTV/VH1 archives for videos that we find noteworthy, resonant, or just unbelievably stupid. Is it crap or not? You decide…

“Walk The Dinosaur”
Was (Not Was), 1989

A few items to consider while you?re learning the moves:

$4000 for the night, but you have to feed the roadies
What has two lead singers, one dressed casually and one in a tux, a hammy rhythm section featuring an uncomfortably enthusiastic keyboard player who likes to solo, and a couple of horn players? The answer: every crappy wedding band in the world. The only thing that separates Was (Not Was) from, say, Rare Form (.asx), is that their token, cowbell-hammering female is wearing David Byrne?s blazer instead of a cocktail dress.

Because ?I went home and masturbated? was a bit too obvious
We were always partial to the Divinyl?s direct approach, but ?Walk the Dinosaur? is in the mix with ?Longview,? ?Turning Japanese,? and ?Shock the Monkey,? for a spot in our touchin? yourself top five. Dinosaurs need to be walked, after all ? it?s nothing to be ashamed of.

No, Dancin? on the Ceiling does not count
Quick, name five songs that are explicitly linked to a particular dance. “Macarena”? “The Electric Slide”? “The Hokie-Pokie”? That?s some rarefied air. Trying to start a dance trend from scratch is dubious business, especially when the dance in question combines the technical challenge of walking like an Egyptian with the fun of pretending to open a door. Despite this helpful instructional video, this dance never caught on, and Was (Not Was) paid for their hubris with obscurity. The sexy dino-dancers, however, live forever in our memory.

Got a candidate for Video Hangover? E-mail tips at stereogum.com.

Comments (15)
  1. mattshu  |   Posted on Feb 12th, 2007

    As far as explaining steps in a song go, this isn’t bad. No comparison, however, to “step 1. cut a hole in a box…”

    :bermuda, bahama come on pretty momma”-why is that stuck in my head now?

  2. Wasn't  |   Posted on Feb 12th, 2007

    “paid for their hubris with obscurity”

    Actually, the two Was “brothers” had better things to do than try and make it as middle-aged pop stars–they have a pretty broad resume of musical achievements since then.

  3. Memememe  |   Posted on Feb 12th, 2007

    “What has two lead singers, one dressed casually and one in a tux, a hammy rhythm section featuring an uncomfortably enthusiastic keyboard player who likes to solo, and a couple of horn players?”

    sounds kinda like Styx, except for the tux part.

  4. Don being most well-known to “our crowd” for producing and playing on a host of Paul Westerberg records.

  5. molly  |   Posted on Feb 12th, 2007

    The less famous Was once made pass at my mom when they worked at the LA Herald Examiner. She said he was a total skeeve.

  6. ryan  |   Posted on Feb 12th, 2007

    Holy crap.

  7. Nearly Normal Jimmy  |   Posted on Feb 12th, 2007

    It’s just like . . . a mini-mall.

    Ah, Night Tracks. I’ve missed you so.

  8. Oh man, I *loved* this song! Fangs for the memories…

  9. Stafford  |   Posted on Feb 12th, 2007

    I could be alone on this one…but that Rare Form video is hilarious. Sincerity over complete crap is often funny. As is a white guy trying to be funky. Imagine that well meaning nerdy accountant you know trying to sing barry white. yeah that happens about the halfway point. Oh and your drunk aunt sings all the female parts. Grrrrrreat stuff.

  10. Dirk  |   Posted on Feb 12th, 2007

    Quick, name five songs that are explicitly linked to a particular dance

    The Twist
    The Humpty Dance
    Lambada
    The Hustle
    Achy Breaky Heart
    BATDANCE?!?

    Come on,it sure as hell ain’t that hard! :p

  11. OnlyRumors  |   Posted on Feb 13th, 2007

    I am a spy in the house of love

  12. ‘shock the monkey’ is not about masturbating! DO NOT put images in my head of peter gabriel jacking off!

  13. Stumpy  |   Posted on May 15th, 2007

    For 80s masturbation songs, what about “Dancin’ With Myself” and “She-Bop”?

  14. jaklumen  |   Posted on Aug 24th, 2007

    Indeed. “Shock The Monkey” was Peter Gabriel’s commentary on corporate culture. If you missed his rummaging of beans in the vid as a reference to “bean counters”, well…

    Other dances connected to a song (or songs had a very specific dance):
    Rock Lobster
    The Thriller (Thriller)

  15. mort was  |   Posted on Mar 3rd, 2008

    Hey Molly,

    Who was your Mom?

    Did she give in to the Skeeve?

    best,

    Mort

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