Tonight is the night for love, but if you don’t have someone to hold and feel like lashing out at rock stars, this one’s for you. Blogcritics named their choices for “Ugliest Musicans Ever.” Feast your eyes:
12. Journey
11. Roger Waters (Pink Floyd)
10. Gwar
09. Haterush
08. Alex Van Halen (Van Halen)
07. Madonna
06. Jim Skafish (Skafish)
05. Thom Yorke (Radiohead)
04. Lemmy (Motörhead)
03. Gene Simmons (Kiss)
02. G.G. Allin
01. Shane MacGowan (The Pogues)
Feel free to argue #1. But you better have a strong case.
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All these years I’ve been masturbating to the 7th ugliest musician ever? Yeah, that makes Valentine’s Day better.
Madonna? Is there another one I don’t know of? With her inclusion they obviously aren’t asking to be taken seriously.
badfinger should be on the list. ever see these guys?
lazy eyes does not ugly make.
now Ric Ocasek. thats ugly.
But Ric Ocasek has such raw animal magnetism! However, Thom Yorke is indeed quite sexy, but otherwise this is a decent list. Mark E. Smith probably should place in the top 10, though.
Uh, what about Lemmy from Motorhead? If I woke up next to that mole, I’d probably have to gouge my eyes out.
And srsly, Madonna?
thom yorke is kinda cute in that mousey english way… more so with glasses on.
Oh. So Lemmy’s already on it. Please excuse my lameness, thanks.
…But still, he should be #1.
Yeah, that’s what I meant…
Keith Richards #1??
i love that madonna rates higher than gwar.
What about ACDC? Ive always thought they were one of the ugliest bands out there.
They all look like Ogres.
Warren Haynes. Easy.
The guitar player from Coldplay. Ha ha ha
I know Madonna is past her prime and a total bitch, but she doesn’t look bad for someone of her age. Or at least she did at Coachella.
Roger Waters just looks like a regular old guy, rather benign.
Shane MacGowan…Jesus Christ. Does that guy even have any teeth left? Disgusting.
Michael Jackson and Keith Richards should definitely be on this list. And how about that girl from The Decemberists. Not Petra Hayden, but the other one. 50 Cent is pretty ugly too.
Fergie is definitely the ugliest pop star ever.
The Ramones????? How is this not at the top of the list??
patti smith is ugly as all hell. Brilliant and sexy, but not because of her looks.
Not only is Shane McGowan the ugliest musician ever, he’s easily the ugliest man alive.
any takers?
FERGIE!!!
Richard Fucking Ashcroft.
Thom Yorke no way!
FERGIE is the ugliest of ugly. I bet she just blames it on the meth.
Quality choice for #1. Madonna’s inclusion makes perfect sense. You probably think Paris Hilton is attractive too.
And all you Yorke lovers, let’s get real. Personality and musicianship can go a long way but ugly is still ugly even if they’re holding a guitar.
PS. Sorry about that Paris Hilton comment. That was pretty mean. I know you think she’s scary.
I agree with Doug. Joey Ramone takes the ugly cake.
i always thought GEDDY LEE was not a cute guy….
and what about the voice?
agreed on Patti Smith. She is ridiculously ugly and could pass for a man. An ugly man.
Geddy may not be pretty, but the voice rulz, and so does RUSH! Also, Shane MacGowan looks like Peter Jackson vs. Deliverance.
agreed on Patti Smith. She is ridiculously ugly and could pass for a man. An ugly man.
Thom Yorke looks like a one eyed possum. That man is hideous, but yeah, Shane MacGowan takes the cake. Not even sure I could be in the same room with that guy.
But Madonna? Now she’s not looking too hot lately, but at one time she was incredibly hot and sexy…her face has never been her best feature, but she more than overcame that with her body and general sexuality. But she’s certainly not ugly by any stretch of the imagination.
Madonna? Im sorry but even with multiple face lifts, boob jobs, lights, makeup and photo retouch there are a TON of musicians that couldnt look like this.
They arent stupid for including Madonna in the top ten. Thats funny. They are stupid for not including the most obvious individual on this planet, dare I say universe.
Michael Jackson
I agree with the guitar player from Coldplay. My God he is hideous!
ummmm alex van halen aint that ugly i think you should replace him with edward van halen
thom yorke is fucking hawt. Hawtt.
Geddy Lee. What’s ‘haterush’?
Dio.
Where the fuck is Chad Kroeger from Nickelback? He’s won a few Ugliest Man In Rock titles, and it’s convenient that his music blows too.
Not to quote Dr. David Thorpe, but Thom Yorke does look like Axl Rose on AIDS.
where’s the actual LIST? i want to see what they had to say about them all.
I think Roger Waters actually looks better as an old man than he did 30 years ago. Also, I dunno why, but I’ve always thought that he kinda looks like Richard Gere. Which of course doesn’t make any sense since Richard Gere is usually regarded as an attractive fella.
If you consider Fergie a rock star, i would definitely say her. I do feel sorry for her cause I heard her b/f is an abusive jerk. I need to buy him this t-shirt: http://teesmybody.com/funny-t-shirt/cobra-commander-t-shirt.php
MADONNA?!?! Come on now. That’s just being bitter to the point of ignorance.
Also, can i nominate Regine from The Arcade Fire? SHE SCARES ME SO MUCH
John Mayer! even more now that he has the long hair.
master p, if he can be called a musician.
lil’ jon
death cab for cutie.
what about lyle lovett? and that guy from Fastball!
how come nobody mentioned donald fagen from steely dan?
I vote for Eric “Hungry Eyes” Carmen:
avail
MADONNA!!!????????
W
T
F
…i hate everyone.
Mark E. Smith of The Fall needs to be on that list somewhere.
COHEED AND CAMBRIA HANDS DOWN.
Nicholas Harmer from Death Cab, if only for that haircut.
Michael Jackson!
38 special
so i’m guessing we’re using the term “musician” rather liberally here.
What about the conspicuously not-attractive member of the Bangles?
I feel bad I said that now. It can’t be easy for her. Sorry Debbi/Vicki.
when stereogum ever going to release a list of their own (that isn’t a year-end best of)
What on earth is Madonna doing on this list? I saw her name and barely bothered reading the rest as it’s obviously a waste of time. Who are they trying to kid?
I have been in a room with Shane McGowan. He owns a pub in London, and if you’ve ever seen him at 11 o clock on a Monday night totally off his face, it is a very very scary encounter with serious ugliness.
Where is Pete Townshend? He bears a strong resemblance to the #1 spot.
There is no arguing with #1. I could see Tom Waits on that list. If it weren’t for George Harrison the Traveling Wilburys could have made it. Blue Oyster Cult would be a nice inclusion. I definitely agree that the woman with no chin from The Decemberists should be on the list.
Camera Obscura:
Axl Rose and Ted Nugent repulse me.
whoever said 50 cent is ugly is a retard. madonna should not be this list at all either. 50 cent bangs like 200 girls a week guy. how many have you banged in your life?????
Chad Kroeger from Nickleback. And bonus points for being Canadian! (Just kidding, Canadians. Love that Labatt’s Blue!)
What about Rod Stewart? He’s has the worst haircut in music for the last 30 years.
I 100% agree with your choice to put Madonna on this list. An absolute Hag!
50 cent?! Could he be any more lame/ugly? And this is for Musicians!!! He would be #1 IF he could be considered a Musician.
As for Joe’s statement…
“50 cent bangs like 200 girls a week guy.”
If they make a list of no talent fools who pay hood rats for sex; And the least intelligent “music” fans…
I’m sure you and “Fidy” will top the list.
Madonna?! She’s not ugly. You suck!!!
Mark E. Smith of The Fall needs to be on that list somewhere.
THANK YOU
he was kind of a babe in his youth, but my god look at him now. almost gives macgowan a run for his money. almost.
I long ago discovered that Molly Hatchet were one of the ugliest bands ever. Somehow, they’ve kept it a secret from the world:
Guided By Voices has run out some dog-ugly lineups. How ’bout KISS without the makeup?
I would most certainly say Madonna is not the ugliest musician…after all, don’t you actually have to be a musician to qualify?
That aside, she certainly doesn’t belong on this list, though the simple truth is she’s NEVER been pretty to start with (and honestly, does the guy who posted that heavily airbrushed photo of her really think she looks ‘natural’?). Just skanky. Which some find attractive. To each their own.
And Alex Van Halen? Apparently someone forgot to look at Eddie, who now looks like he’s been in some kind of industrial dehydration accident. I feel I should nominate Deborah Harry, who’s looked like a train wreck for about 20 years now.
Keith Richarda and Tom Petty aren’t on this list?
if they dont retract that list to add dee snider and ted nugent, university sociologists everywhere will have to reconsider their theories on human attraction.
this list is racist… jay z, biz markie and Flaava flaaav can easily replace madge on that list
Definitely Flaava flaaav!! but again… this is for musicians.
ahhahha, madonna–true that, true that!
Thom Yorke isnt ugly at all! haha he is a sexy ball of talent! im sorry… im the biggest radiohead fan ever..
Two words: Pete. Doherty
stevie fuckin ray vaughan, obviously
what about Poison? I know, Brett Michaels, blah blah blah… but come on, the combination of CC Deville and Rikki Rockett? Those are some overbaked, ugly motherfuckers.
and you know, the way Shane MacGowan is ugly? It’s sort of endearing…
this was actually done 18 months ago… (I contributed G.G. Allin) weird that it’s only now getting traction. http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/08/17/092316.php
Here was my argument for GG Allin:
http://drakelelane.blogspot.com/2005/08/too-ugly-for-this-world.html
How about what’s her name from Concrete Blond?
No way I’m the first person here to say Tom Petty should be on that list, and is a strong candidate for number one. He’s truly a one of a kind fugly bastard.
I mean, half the people in Ireland look like that other guy anyway, at least based on my Dickensian stereotypes.
Oh, you mean Mick Mars?
oh, and when you look like Thom Yorke, you almost have to be in a rock band, because there’s almost no chance of you ever getting laid otherwise.
if girls don’t just think you’re ugly, they’ll think you’re mentally handicapped with that weird eye thing going on.
GG Allen wasnt ugly, he was just covered in blood and shit and scabs most of the time.
And what about wesley willis??
Underoath is one ugly band.
Grammy and Oscar winner, Randy Newman. Then again, what suck more, his fat face or his music?
is shane mcgowan the lead singer? if so, how does he sing with only two teeth?
Did we forget about The Scorpions already?
i have to disagree with the camera obscura comment above!
chet baker should be on there for going from handsomest guy in town to scare the unband off the booze truck ugly
this list is stupid. madonna is nowhere near ugly. roger water has always been and always will be beautiful. whoever wrote is is borderline retarded.
what about all the guys of fall out boy?
they’ve got to make it somewhere on the ugliest msucians (and i use the term musicians lightly) list.
don’t most modern “rock” bands look like revenge of the nerds or something?
Picture Chad Kroeger without the Jesus hair and goatee. Scream in horror.
Madonna is absolutely not ugly. She has accomplished some amazing things, and looks outstanding for her age! When was the last time you saw someone of her age look that good?
All I can say is “woo”
What about Lyle Lovett? The dude that was married to that barker Julia Roberts. That brillo topped scarecrow is one ugly dude.
Guys: the guitarist from Motley Crue
Girls: the girl singer from Arcade Fire
Skafish – Nice one ! But what about Kid Rock, Dave Matthews, Joe Jackson, and Scott Stapp ? And Scott Stapp’s grease, too ?
Interpol…all four of them…ugliest band to grace God’s green earth.