Take our ink-stained hands and join us at the OldStand, where Jon McMillan goes to remind everyone what an honest-to-goodness music magazine is supposed to look like.
A recent weekend in Long Island turned up this now-legal issue of Rolling Stone that dates back to May 22nd, 1986, the spring of Chernobyl, Geraldo opening Al Capone’s vault, and Hands Across America. Of all the “hot” things in this issue — Laura Dern, Mike Tyson, Addams Family Values writer Paul Rudnick, the word “swell,” the Disney Co. — only James Cameron has stayed on top. OK, William Petersen, too, except he went away for a while before CSI turned TBS Spike TV into a one-show TiVO.
There’s a long interview with Paul Westerberg full of great stories we’ll transcribe if you want, but the most delicious tidbit, in terms of hindsight, is this one:
After the jump, the table of contents, silly ads, an appliance makes the hot list, and the best charts from May 22nd, 1986, when a plurality mistakenly thought Big Audio Dynamite was making better dance music than Bronski Beat.
Wait, “hot appliance”? Yeah, in the original script, Doc Brown’s time machine was a humidifier:
Ads
Charts
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I wasn’t even born when this was on the stand, but no worries, that’s what VH1 Classics is for!
Yeah, I bought this issue new. I feel old now, thanks.
I’m shaking an angry fist at you, Ju Bean. But to the ‘gum, damn, this is awesome. I have no recollection of the Ted Danson/Howie Mandel movie whatsoever.
What? Shitty Music on the top ten charts? Oh my, how times have changed!
ARE YOU CALLING KNEE DEEP IN THE HOOPLA SHITTY??!?!?!?!?!?
I know Bullfrog, I should feel ashamed of myself for that comment. But seeing as this blog was started by a former VH1 employee, I don’t feel too bad – lol.
I saw that Danson/Mandel movie in the theater. Truly transcendent.
Philip Glass in the top 50 albums…weren’t the 80s WACKY?!?!
Van Halen “5150″ was awesome. So were the Falco, Outfield, LL Cool J, and Talking Heads records.
Ooo, I smell a new ‘gum feature in the works!
I’m suprised the Stones aren’t among the dead artists in the Top 10 singles.
/does Fox have an earring? I don’t remember that.
I was only eight, so I can’t say I remember this issue, but, oh man do I vaguely remember Hands Across America! Apparently, Bob Seger was in my part of the chain, somewhere around San Bernardino.
I certainly don’t remember my dad paying $10 a head for all of us to join hands with a bunch of people, though. I’m guessing we were among the many to eschew the fees.
Wow, both Elvis Costello and Metallica’s possible greatest albums were performing almost exactly the same what with 10 spot slides and both being on the chart for 4 weeks. Meanwhile, Alabama’s Greatest Hits was steady as could be. It’s comforting to know that, had I been paying attention at the time, the charts back then would’ve filled me with as much rage as they do now.
Good god, “Why Can’t This Be Love” is the most formulaic, by the numbers “rock” song I’ve ever heard.
I’m not saying Van Hagar didn’t have some good tunes, but this sleeper wasn’t one of them.
Husker Du at 43!!
Van Hagar is the devil’s music.
not to be a csi stickler, but the re-runs are on spike tv. you know i love me some Gil Grissom!
fixed, wiscod.
Haha. Senator Albert Gore Jr. on music business payola!
this just reminds me of how much i miss being 6 years old. ah, manic monday.
The Replacements were chosen as the Hot Band in that issue. It’s listed in the table of contents. Rolling Stone has been a disaster for a long time but you have to give them credit for that one. Good job by mjlauf to spot Husker Du at 43 on the charts.
The RS Album Chart was compiled with “a nationwide telephone survey of sales in rock-oriented record stores.” It does not reflect actual record sales across the board (if at all). So don’t get too worked up over those Husker Du and Phil Glass positions because trust me, kids did not buy those records. My friend Mark and I were the only two people on the planet I knew who had even heard of Husker Du.
btw, how much coke do you have to do before Rise sounds like a dance song?
One more thing – in the case of this pseudo-Bronski song, the plurality is correct, Stereogum.
Kudos to Jim for scanning all this for us. My parents recently renovated my childhood bedroom and I saved a few things from being trashed, including this Rolling Stone that I bought for a nickel at Mr. Cheapo’s in Hicksville in 1996. Yes, 1996.
miss the 80′s …glad there over…damn rockin & rollin is freakin old…music moves on but society dosent…i remember
Why is the Cult listed on the dance tracks?!
Why was black and white checked tile so amazing. It’s like in December of 1979 they pulled up all the flooring in America and replaced it with black and white tile. I remember my brother always bragged that he was going to grow up and do his whole house in black and white tile.
Compared to now, that Dance Track chart kicked some serious ass.
“Why was black and white checked tile so amazing.”
My older sister did her place in checked tile in ’84 or ’85. It seemed very 50′s-retro and ska (the whole Two-Tone thing) at the time. And it was on Elvis Costello’s first record cover.
this is a brilliant fucking feature.
Great stuff.
My mum and dad got checked tile put on their kitchen floor in the late 1990s.
That’s fucking cool.
Some things never change the top 50 in rolling stone is still a wasteland
any way you can scan the william petersen article in, I can’t find it anywhere! but thank you