Today’s the day! The twelfth installment of the music series for the kids, by the Kidz, is ready to be streamed and/or purchased for $18.98. And per usual, you really shouldn’t be buying this for anyone…

Your tracklist:

01 “Girlfriend” (Avril Lavigne)
02 “The Sweet Escape” (Gwen Stefani Feat. Akon)
03 “It’s Not Over” (Daughtry)
04 “Say It Right” (Nellie Furtado)
05 “Never Again” (Kelly Clarkson)
06 “What Goes Around … Comes Around” (Justin Timberlake)
07 “Umbrella” (Rihanna)
08 “Cupid’s Chokehold” (Gym Class Heroes)
09 “Glamorous” (Fergie)
10 “If Everyone Cared” (Nickelback)
11 “Beautiful Liar” (BeyoncĂ© and Shakira)
12 “How To Save A Life” (The Fray)
13 “Makes Me Wonder” (Maroon 5)
14 “Don’t Matter” (Akon)
15 “Boston” (Augustana)
16 “With Love” (Hillary Duff)
17 “Ice Box” (Omarion)
18 “Home” (Daughtry)

That first track sounds suspiciously like the Rubinoos. And curiously, they replace “motherfucking princess” with “hey hey princess.” But no need to replace “Funny thing about that is / I was ready to give you my name” on “What Goes Around…” ’cause minimum age requirements for marriage is so last century, grandpa. Too bad there isnt’ more indie (remember Franz? MMouse?), but awesome to see the double love for stand-up Senegalese role-model Akon; sing along, children! But don’t try to sing along to Luda’s “take yo’ broke ass home” lyric in “Glamorous”; that whole verse went the way of the motherfucking princess. Listen at kidzbop.com. Do it for the little ones.

And of course, no such post is complete without Kidz Bop‘s greatest moment: the “Since You Been Gone” kid.

Kidz Bop Doing NOFX Pt. 3
Studio album by Kidz Bop Kids
Kidz Bop Greatest Hits - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Kidz Bop 12: As Always, Mostly Inappropriate - Stereogum
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Comments (20)
  1. This is really such a retarded tracklist omg, its really channelized for the IQ of a three year old. Gooosh

  2. just seeing that kid makes me smile.

    I wonder if he and his family know how important he is to blog-reading hipsters?

  3. Liam  |   Posted on Jul 31st, 2007

    I wish I could get as excited about ANYTHING as that kid is about “Since U Been Gone”.

  4. Speaking of Kelly Clarkson…does the KidzBop version of “Never Again” include the line “I hope when you’re in bed with her, you think of me”? God, I hope so. I’ve always said that KidzBop is marketed specifically for pedophiles first, children second. If they kept that line in the song, that would about prove my theory correct.

  5. Erin  |   Posted on Jul 31st, 2007

    Adam –

    It’ll probably be changed to, “I hope when you’re eating cereal in front of Nickelodeon with her, you think of me.”

  6. I think the kid in the pic is really a midget or something :) ))

  7. joe $  |   Posted on Jul 31st, 2007

    daughtry needs to get smacked.

  8. dave  |   Posted on Jul 31st, 2007

    does anyone else find these songs a bit creepy? especially that rousing rendition of never again.

  9. What, no “Before He Cheats”?

  10. Duncan B. Goode  |   Posted on Jul 31st, 2007

    I present to you, the first verse of Makes Me Wonder by Maroon 5:
    “I wake up with blood-shot eyes
    Struggled to memorize
    The way it felt between your thighs
    Pleasure that made you cry
    Feels so good to be bad”

    I am glad that they get children to sing these things. Very fitting.

  11. Good call Duncan. I just listened, and they kept the “bloodshot eyes,” though they changed “between your thighs” to “in your lies / people that made you cry…”

    So we take it all back. Totally appropriate for your kidz.

  12. You should hear their b-side of Two Guys for Ever Girl.

  13. That should be Two Guys for Every Girl. mrs, you moron.

  14. Scotta  |   Posted on Jul 31st, 2007

    Oh good, A version of girlfriend for the kids. Nothing better than training your little girls to be a shallow bratty whore, eh parents? Future woman’s rights advocates right there.

  15. christian  |   Posted on Jul 31st, 2007

    what about the “really makes me wonder if i ever gave a fuck about you” in the maroon 5 song??

    and TWO daughtry songs!?!?!?! really???

  16. My kids have asked for these dumb ass cds more than once. That’s when I turn up the Sufjan extra loud.

  17. Scotta  |   Posted on Jul 31st, 2007

    Christian: Well yeah! Why pay Nickleback AND Daughtry when you can just pay Daughtry and get the same initial songs?

  18. At first, I thought the song “girlfriend” was Matthew Sweet’s song. That would actually be interesting.

  19. Cheyenne  |   Posted on Aug 2nd, 2007

    do the creators of Kidz Bop realize Cupid’s Chokehold is about sex?! wtf we’re they thinking haha. lameee

  20. Jester  |   Posted on Jan 8th, 2010

    “do the creators of Kidz Bop realize Cupid’s Chokehold is about sex?! wtf we’re they thinking haha. lameee”

    How do you figure? I’ve been listening to Cupid’s Chokehold for a while and all I hear is a great love song.

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