Unless you’ve been on blog vacation (abbreviation: blogcation) (no), this week you learned that Pitchfork Media believes that yes you can even give a numerical ranking to two adorable pugs, and that ranking is a 3.3, and Black Kids also happen to be as appealing as two adorable pugs. Burn? Well not as much of a burn as the original review that went up very early in the morning, in which the album actually got a 0.0 (I think they realized that the hate mail from pug owners would be overwhelming), but yeah, Black Kids are the latest sacrifice on the altar of build up/take down story making, and this was Pitchfork’s apology to you for doing it.
Obviously people have been up in arms about the nonreview, which is at least partially the point of a nonreview, but let’s be honest: Giving the band the dis/joke review treatment was doing ‘em a favor. Better that than the indifference of a middling score, right? Look at Dr. Dog today. 5.5. Who cares. We like Dr. Dog, we like Fate, but who’s going to rally around a 5.5? At least Black Kids fans (we know you’re out there somewhere and also we know you have a subscription to NME) now have a cause, and a bond, and a new favorite kind of puppy. And the Kids seem to be taking it in stride: MTV sat with the band and asked for their thoughts on the piece. Kid Reggie: “I think it’s the most awesome review for a record I’ve ever seen in my life,” which looks a little better on paper than it does on his face, but at least he’s on message.
(via MTV’s Newsroom)
Black Kids also played Letterman last night, doing “I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You.” They seemed alright. But let’s cut to the real issue here: Everyone keeps calling those pugs in the review LOLDogs, because there are dogs involved and because everyone has no imagination. Who’s LOLing? Not those dogs. They’re a little closer to Fail Dogs, I think, at least in intent. There’s no such thing as Sorry Dogs, apparently, unless you are a band on MySpace (not worth clicking). This of course is the debate of any real consequence; the rest is too silly to take seriously.
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he is hot. that guy int he photo. i like kate nash’s cover of ‘i’m not gonna teach etc’ the original isn’t memorable but not bad. pitchfork is such a bitch.
can we talk about how great the dr. dog album is? seriously. i know you took it down from your heavy rotation because the review wasn’t stellar on pitchfork, but g-damn that’s-a good music.
fuck yes. best album that i have been listening to this summer.
The pugs weren’t being rated or compared to the band. They’re just a consolation prize. Like, “I’m sorry we don’t like your album. Maybe these puppies will make you feel better.”
I totally agree. And thanks, Amrit, for framing the real issue at hand. Those dogs aren’t funny. Based on the font alone, they’re neither LOL nor FAIL. It’s simply Pichfork saying sorry we don’t like your album; sorry, general public, for hyping up this band; if we were cute puppies, perhaps you’d forgive us. But we won’t–because it’s Pitchfork, and we all kind of have a love/hate relationship with them.
Pitchfork’s review didn’t surprise me. They don’t think things through before they get the hype train running sometimes. The problem is that Black Kids sucked from the start, but had one catchy song (that gets old and annoying eventually.) Whoever gave their EP a Best New Music and 8-point-something on Pitchfork probably shouldn’t be reviewing anything anywhere anymore. Once someone with better taste got their hands on the Kids’ new release, the pre-hype made Pitchfork look snobbish and pretentious just as many people presume them to be.
pitchfork sucks but the black kids suck worse.
You’re all racist. I don’t think it matters what color kids are. Any color of kids can suck.
Obaaaaaaaaaaama ’08, so I can prove I’m not a racist.
ahahahahaha best comment ever!!!!!!!!
Wow, Dr. Dog getting a lower score than CSS is bullshit in just about every way. But hey now, this isn’t the place to rip on P4K…
I’m glad this kid is being such a good sport about it.
McCain 08!!!! I’m tired of everyone jumping on the Obama band wagon without even knowing what he stands for, he’s an inexperienced man, who happens to be charismatic and a good speaker, but when America is in a bind or a time of need, he’s not gonna be prepared to make quick decisions……plus i don’t want higher taxes or a socialized America, where there is no competitive drive to work harder than the other guy. I’m tired of the liberal mentality that we need to provide welfare for the poor, all it does is makes the poor rely on the government, and creates an endless cycle of lazy poor people….If the poor want to make money all they have to do is clean themselves up a bit, apply for a job, and work hard as hell until they are self reliant human beings just like the rest of us. Look at Oprah for christ sake she was born to a poor unwed teenaged mother and grew up in an inner city Milwaukee neighborhood, and now she’s a billionaire because she actually worked hard.
All i’m saying is i’m not gonna vote for Obama just because everyone who is considered “cool”, or “trendy” is doing it, i’m not a sheep. I’m gonna look at the facts and make an educated decision based on what i think is right for America.
Pssst, it was satirical.
A lot of people are “for Obama” just because it allows them to prove to everyone around them that they are “enlightened.”
Sad, but true.
holy crap. waaaaaaay overboard. someone has some pent up anger/aggression (no wonder they are voting republican)
Pent up agression? Dude. Have you ever seen an anti-booooooosh rally.
Way overboard? Dude. Have you ever watched people react to a speech like Jesus himself gave them a morphine shower when they watch an Obama rally.
john mccain called his wife cunt
Goodness, I didn’t think reading about Black Kids getting pug’d on Pitchfork would open THIS can of worms.
PUG OFF.
George Bush does not care about Black Kids.
No, that was the best comment ever
They should have named their album George Bush Doesn’t Care About Black Kids. I would have bought it. But not listened to it.
good for them, taking it in stride.
their album is crap, but it’s no worse than a lot of other easily forgotten stuff out there that hasn’t been as highly criticized.
in any case, negative publicity is just as good as positive… and yay pugs.
I think seilsighas is right: instead of rallying for Black Kids after they get negative reviews, let’s rally for someone that really deserves it!
http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2008/07/mccain_outlook_suddenly_much_gloomier.html
IF DR. DOG WENT TO RAP WITH SNOOP DOG AGIN DAT SHIT TEAMS UPF OR A DOPE BANGER THE SIZE OF RICK ROS!!!! I GOT MY TWNY INCH RIMS SITTIN ON TIM DUNCINS AND THE STOP WITH THE HOOZY CANNOT FITCH WITH MY CUZZN! HAHA. DR. d-O-G!!!!!!! THAT SHIT IS SICK BUT THE CHRONIC IS STRAYT FIYA SON! EVERYONE HOLLA AT A 5.5 AND THEN GIT STIKY ON YA OWN FACE HOLLA SON!!!!
the thing is wizard of ahhhs was actually good. and partie traumatic sucks
thats all anybody needs to know so there
i really wish pfork articulated why they thought partie traumatic sucks.
because maybe if they wanted to hear bad cure songs they could just listen to bad songs by the cure?
to all you liberal hipster sheep, oingo boingo said it best……….
There’s nothing wrong with Capitalism
There’s nothing wrong with free enterprise
Don’t try to make me feel guilty
I’m so tired of hearing you cry
There’s nothing wrong with making some profit
If you ask me I’ll say it’s just fine
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to live nice
I’m so tired of hearing you whine
About the revolution
Bringin’ down the rich
When was the last time you dug a ditch, baby!
If it ain’t one thing
Then it’s the other
Any cause that crosses your path
Your heart bleeds for anyone’s brother
I’ve got to tell you you’re a pain in the ass
You criticize with plenty of vigor
You rationalize everything that you do
With catchy phrases and heavy quotations
And everybody is crazy but you
You’re just a middle class, socialist brat
From a suburban family and you never really had to work
And you tell me that we’ve got to get back
To the struggling masses (whoever they are)
You talk, talk, talk about suffering and pain
Your mouth is bigger than your entire brain
What the hell do you know about suffering and pain . . .
(Repeat first verse)
(Repeat chorus)
There’s nothing wrong with Capitalism
There’s nothing wrong with Capitalism
There’s nothing wrong with Capitalism
There’s nothing wrong with Capitalism
Oingo Boingo sucks dick.
pitchfork is a prissy bunch of elitist fags. their web site sucks b/c you cannot comment on anything
you just gave a shining example of why they SHOULDN’T have comment boards.
hooray homophobia
Kate,
just because people will post mean and insensitive things is no reason to prevent them from saying anything. More likely, pfork prevents commenting to prevent legitimate criticism. you are a fag.
I think the Black kids make really good music, but the vocalist ruins it more often than not. Regardless, the album is certainly better than the new CSS or the Dr. Dog album, unlike them, there are actually a couple of stand out songs on it ( you know you tapped your feet on I wanna be your limousine)…
pitchfork is utter nonsense. retarded AND tone deaf.
i know this because they gave the knife and stellar review and ed harcourt a shit review.
retarded.
tone deaf.
oh come, come. Who really takes the F-list writers at Pitchfork seriously. Regardless of their sense of entitlement it’s mere entertainment. The head honchos are stuffing their pockets with advertising revenue while an army of young, eager, ill informed and naive writers are working for dirt. How’s that profit share system working out for you guys? Hmmm?
I thought black kids liked bulldogs.
that would’ve been funny if you had gotten the obvious racist stereotype right.
oh wait, no it wouldn’t have been.
p.s. I think you meant “PITBULL”? oh, okay.
I’m gonna start a band called Asian Men
black kids are lame. there is nothing especially original about them, their songs are so so, and they were way too over hyped. for once i agree with pitchfork.
PuGs hate NIGGERS
pitchfork always gives dr. dog bad reviews so this is no surprise. Easy Beat – 4.4, we all belong – 5.5. i am a bit taken aback by the fact that they still make reference to a new york times article written in 2004 that tries to shine some light on a then young and up and coming band… how dare they! to say it was a “sloppy tongue kiss of a profile” is laughable. maybe if they hadn’t laid their own premature sloppy tongue kiss on the black kids then they wouldn’t be so sorry now. p4k has lost the plot. that is all.
Hey, at least Pitchfork is admitting their mistake. Better late than never. That “Not Gonna Teach” song was HORRIBLE (with all caps).
Oh that’s cold, Pitchfork.
I got a snake, man.
kate is a fag
I wish there was a better way for Pitchfork to review through crap records (like this one) than dissing hard-working bands with good intentions (like this one).
whats pitchfork?
I heard that nowadays Pitchfork reviewers get paid up to 200 bucks or something for a review – and they have the fucking gall to do THIS???
I like Partie Traumatic…
Just throwing that out there
even comparing black kids to dr. dog is silly. black kids are just another overhyped band with a sound you’ve heard a million times over. dr. dog actually know how to write a song.