Maternal Britney: "Y'all Hush Now Or No More Cheetos."
Remember Barefoot Britney's Bathroom Debacle last month? I'm not convinced she's the best role model for Kevin's little girl. Check out this upsetting missive Stereogum spies got a hold of...
-----Original Message-----
From: Kori Federline [mailto:kori@gmail.com]
Sent: Monday, September 06, 2004 5:19 PM
To: Jackson, Shar
Subject: RE: helpdear mommy,
today daddy and britney and me went shoping. britney said she is my new mommy and that she is the prettiest mommy. britney also says NO SHOES!! even when i go to pee. tonite we r going to 711 for supper.tomorrow we r going tanning. daddy is yelling at me to finish my kabala homework.i miss you.
luv korips. can i get a tatoo?
No wonder she's feeling guilty.
Posted at 4:00 PM
fucking hilarious...I love it.
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genius, genius, genius.
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this song sounds like crap.
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You never let me down Britey. When will this stop being funny?
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NO SHOES!! brilliant!!!
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Oh man, priceless.
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britney spears has the worst voice ever.
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WHOEVER COMES UP WITH THE CAPTIONS TO PUT UNDER "KORI DAYS WITH BRITNEY AND KEVIN" DESERVES A TONY OR WHATEVER CAUSE THEY ARE FREAKIN HILARIOUS....
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Using for that poor little baby girl for the sake of publicity, Britney should be ashamed of her dirty self. She could give that girl ringworm!
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when you have vocals so processed as in this example the music needs to be able to hide/smooth it out more...
britney's voice has always been crap... but at times production has been able to cover it up...
back to the drawing board kids...
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mmmmmmm...
my sex drive...
my shopping spreeeeeee
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argh! are those THE shorts?? AGAIN? or...is it actually the most cut-off skirt ever? but with the dangling pocket. ah yes, her 'signature' look.
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that poor lil girl,she's gonna grow up to be a ho...
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Hey Scott, I'm a jackass for asking this question here, but you're the only other person I've heard of who actually owns "Psyence Fiction" by U.N.K.L.E. My question is as follows: On the opening track, Guns Blazing, is there a bit of intentional glitch static in the very, very beginning?
Sorry for being such a jackass on yo' blogg, yo.
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is it just me, or does britbrit have an ENORMOUS COCK!
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Scott, do you by chance love the color pink & sometimes go by the name of "Nikki"?
http://www.monologuewithher.blogspot.com/
I haven't had too much of a chance to look at it yet, but I can only imagine.
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that song was awful!
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is she singing through a vocorder? or just emulating madonna mocking belinda carlisle in "truth or dare"?
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I have Psyence Fiction also, and yeah, that is intentional ya jackass
and that Brit song sucked balls!
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thats what i like to see. less music, more britney. seriously stick to the witty commentary its what makes stereogum entertaining
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I think she sounds like a young Michael Jackson in a weird way - but her voice still doesn't sound good.
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That poor child.
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Oh LORD.
Please someone help her. I think the headline was the funniest of all. We know Brit Brit loves her cheetos.
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What the hell r u Americans on...always bitchin
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ugh! will it ever stop?!
why cant some 1 give that girl a makeover
like the one courtney love got
but unlike courtney..brit ought to stick with it.
brit hair looks like something may crawl out of it any second.
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do you think she actually puts stuffs in those pockets? you know, the ones that hang halfway down to her knees.
oh, and WHAT THE HELL is this "guilty" song? is this gonna be on her greatest hits?
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Apparently she is getting a makeover.
"On GMTV today (UK morning TV show) they said that Jive Records have told Britney to clean up her act. They are reportedly spending $600,000 (around £300,000 GBP) on dermatology treatment, makeup, hair extentions/colouring and a new wardrobe for Britney. Jive are desperate for Britney to return to her old glamarous self, and they are prepared to fork out a huge amount of money to do this." - britneysource.com
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That song sucked. I think I found the recipe:
1 cup Michael Jackson
1 cup Madonna
A pinch of Vitamin C
A dash of Menudo
Shake
Serve cold with Cheetos
Voila! Insta-material for a soon to be released hilarious episode of VH1's "Behind the Music".
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why spend $600,000 for a makeover, when carson and co will do it for free.
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I actually saw her in concert (I didn't pay for my ticket) and appreciated, at the very least, how grueling it must be to rehearse all that writhing and 15 costume changes.
And "Toxic" and "Outrageous" have actually gotten me through a handful of hill intervals on the treadmill.
But this "Guilty" track is complete SHITE. Even for Britney, who is admittedly limited in vocal talent, but is at least usually a little better synthesized or whatever it is they do to her voice.
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Um, I think Britney is going to face a law suit, or at least I would if I were London's singer Joss Stone. This is originally her song isn't it? I think it is, there's a video for it and everything.
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I have an aunt who doesn't make her kids wear shoes... ever.
Then again, she's a mormon... so, that speaks volumes for her. Britney's just a bad parent.
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Do you guys ever get tired of saying the same old crap? I can only imagine how lonely your lives must be. I'm sure none of you big gals can appreciate at least trying to go to a gym, much easier gulping that suppersized Coke down and eating a bag cheesy poofs. Could some of you people please post a few pics of yourselfs id love to compare the great pear shapes that im sure most of you are. Any fellas so you don't feel left out does any of your "girlfriends" come close to looking good? I mean sure they have vaginas but come on does that make her "hot" Cheers!
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I think Britney is fabulous. Just the fact that you all take moments out of your day to post negative things (that we've all heard before...at least be original, people) about my girl on here PROVES how freakin awesome, mainstream, in the spotlight, FAMOUS she is. Sure, she goes shoeless into a public bathroom. I wouldnt do that, but hell. Let the girl live. Sure, she likes cheetos. So do I. So do you, I'm sure. Sure, she wears cutoffs with the pockets hanging out. Who the F*CK cares?
YOU do.
This is why she is one of America's 40 richest people and why she will ALWAYS be famous and America's naughty/nice sweetheart.
Brit, we love you.
Cant wait for "My Prerogative"
xoxo
a fan
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"...how freakin awesome, mainstream, in the spotlight, FAMOUS she is...
HA HA HA HA HA!!!
Mainsteam as a positive attribute! You slay me!
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Jeez louise, Justin. Just having some fun. I don't like her music, never bought an album of hers, mainly because I think she is lame and limited in her talent. Most people on this board agree. That is why we make fun of her. She's a funny chick, and we love her for that. It's quite simple, really.
And mainstream isn't necessarilly a good thing. I'd rather be elitist :-p
Oh, and also she is oen of the richest ENTERTAINERS, not people, in America.
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Say what you like LOSERS...she's still a multi-millionaire. And you're all bitter dickheads.
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AHHHHHHH the tide is turning, i see. I sense a disturbance in the force.Cheers!
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please, you're telling me a three year old has a Gmail account? It's a little too perfect...
This email is so bogus it should be on 60 Minutes!!
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That Brewster is astute and witty! There's no getting anything past you!
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That is a child that does NOT want to be held. I wonder how long before Britney loses patience with the mommy role. It ain't all fun and games, ya know.
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sounds like michael jackson
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is this the bitchin board or what!? if you dont like the girl then dont waste ur time. if you all hate her so much or whatever a)why sit and make up little scripts to go with pictures b) waffle on about cheetos c) assume u know evrything about her i.e. her single is rubbish, i went to her concert and..., she will not make a good mother role, she spent $600,000 on a makeover BLAH BLAH BLAH and for gods sake stop talkiin about the bloody shorts. I actually thought (assumed)ALL americans were cool people but u guys are so hung up on celebrities. Even the people that like britney are still goin on about money , looks etc.
come on America lighten up and put out some positivity instead of rambling about someone u dont like talk about someone u do like.
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bg: shouldn't you be binge drinking in the Mediterranean? Having unprotected sex with a swarthy local while you're out on holiday? Nursing a tomato-coloured "tan?" We Americans have our past times (schadenfreude) and you have yours.
And don't even get me started on you "celebrities!" Posh and Becks? Robbie Williams? Couldn't go platinum here if they gave away free Cheetos with the CDs.
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bg: shouldn't you be binge drinking in the Mediterranean? Having unprotected sex with a swarthy local while you're out on holiday? Nursing a tomato-coloured "tan?" We Americans have our past times (schadenfreude) and you have yours.
And don't even get me started on you "celebrities!" Posh and Becks? Robbie Williams? Couldn't go platinum here if they gave away free Cheetos with the CDs.
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not everyone cares for posh and becks or robbie williams but i aint bitchin about them. U talk about ornage coloured tans u guys created and advertise the look. Binge drinking?- i bet u havea fake ID and u try to get into clubs and get a drink. UNPROTECTED SEX!? WHATEVER awh dont tell me ur pretending to stay a virgin till u get married like the cute all american.......WHATEVER JANINE.
At least i assumed that u guys were cool and didnt judge u on ur posts. Dont tell me ur next post will probabley go along the lines of..BITCH BITCH BITCH
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Ahahaha! Janine that was too funny.
Anyways,I always fin it hilarious when people come on this site to criticize what others are saying about celebrities and then defend said celebrities as if they know them personally.
The "you all must have no lives" comment always comes into play. Well, I don't go around calling Britney "my girl" or defending her to a web post.but I suppose that's what all those people with real lives do.
damn. Why do I drunk post??? maybe I am drinking away the sorrows that it must be of having no meaning to my existence.
by the way stereogum, as a new chick here, I must say, this is a wonderful site and your MP3's are very much appreciated, possibly even more than the britney humor.
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Poor baby...she must be scared 2 death by britney. i mean, who wouldn't be? Pigney has much infected acné on her face, she bites her nails till they bleed, her hands, body and clothes stink cigarette 24/7, and she goes barefoot in every sticky public toilets floors she goes in. She could transmit hard-core deadly diseases to that little girl like plague or leprozy...If I was Kori's mum, I would desinfect her from head 2 toe whenever she comes home from a trip with her trashy stepmom.
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p.s. if they gave away cheetos with the cds then maybe they would go top 10? worth a try thou because arent cheetos what u guys live on?!
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Firstly, anyone British wanting to diss North American food choices is a scream...sweetbreads anyone? Anyways, as much as I love dissention, I think the cheetos come into play, as well as the poor hygeine of tiptoeing through what amounts to an open sewer, because...money can't buy ya class. Kabbala can't instill it...that seems funny to most of us. Makes us feel good about the common sense our Moms taught us.lol
And as far as her vocals, please...with the right recording equipment, enhancements and filters, a slow wheeze of my cat could be turned into a hit.
And, btw...David Beckham can bend it for me anytime, anyplace he wants to. Yum.
I love forums.
Rock on, everyone.:)
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Britney's voice sucks. In fact, she got No voice at all. I mean, I even saw pics of her, taking cigarette breaks during the recording of her album. I mean, pleeezzz. No wonder she'll never have the vocal chords of an Alicia, a Christina or B. Those girls maintain a strict regime (no booze, no smoke, no drugs) to keep their voice strong. But this fool called Britney has no discipline. She couldn't stand being sober and smoke free for 24 hours. She got really bad habits, damn!! She looks so trashy right now. No wonder she only whispers in her her songs instead of singing loud like a real pro. Plus, she lip-syncs at every concert, at every show. The people are buying her crap are Idiots. They really got benjamins to waste.
I'm telling y'all.
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We dont diss North american food, we have crisps called Wotsits wich are more or less the same as cheetos, there lush!! Sweet pastry is from France not Britain!!
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We dont diss North american food, we have crisps called Wotsits wich are more or less the same as cheetos, there lush!! Sweet pastry is from France not Britain!!
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We dont diss North american food, we have crisps called Wotsits wich are more or less the same as cheetos, there lush!! Sweet pastry is from France not Britain!!
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I guess we all must be guilty of something...because listening to the Brit song is like a punishment. I miss Alvin & the Chipmunks. If they were around they would destroy Britney. They were the O.G.'s of Brit's vocal effects-Brit's producer..."O.K. Britney, Just inhale this balloon and sing through your nose, we will speed up the tape. It's alright if you have any trouble hitting notes, we are going to do forty takes, and splice the best parts together.
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i just want to say that I love britney and her music is great. Every song on her album is good I listen to the entire thing from start to finish. oh and she has some great dance moves as well. people really need to get a life and leave her alone and stop hating on her.
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hey why all of u was hating britney,,, shes everything,, beautiful sexy had a good voic, i like her songs and shes been populare since she was started in 1999 till no,, unlike the other solo artist and band before,,,,
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SHIN:
before you defend the classless, please try to get your facts straight. Brit was on the Mickey Mouse Club - way before 1999. And she was sucky then too :)
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Y does everyone think so Bad of britt I'm sure you all aren't perfect either!
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No he did you?
But this you
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Hey well this years i am nothings orthers the thats one me?
I did nothing too look insides off me?
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