Britney: I'm Pregnant Y'all!
Posted at her official site:
Dear Fans,Take that false tabloids! Cheetos and Frappuccino on me.
The time has finally come to share our wonderful news that we are expecting our first child together. There are reports that I was in the hospital this weekend, Kevin and I just want everyone to know that all is well. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.Love,
Britney & Kevin
Star computer morphed some lil' Federlines for us. Awww. I mean, Ewww.
Posted at 6:00 PM
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god help us all
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i second that.
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Amen.
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spawn of federline....
(a new slasher flick coming soon)
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Shar Jackson, eat your heart out.
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Dear BritBrit,
Motherhood is an adventure unlike any any other you will embark upon your lifetime. Highs and lows, good times and bad times - but always an adventure fo shizzle. Best of luck to both you and Kevin with your little miracle, y'all.
Patton
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?
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I was already barefoot, y'all... Now I'm pregnant too.
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Salut to the happy couple!
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They'll call him or her Lil' Trainwreck, y'all...
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jesus wept.
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and now we're all waiting for Kevin to dump her...
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so federline got 'er done lol
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Thank God the poor Pope died before witnessing this.
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that baby's going to dance before it can stand.
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Was it opposite day when she was bitching about the tabloids last week being false and all?
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mmmm....i would sell my house for some naked brit pics...
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So we can finally expect the spawn of Satan?
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All the above posts.
Best. Ever.
e.
ps: The best that we can hope for is that little Brit' or little Kev will be on the NEW NEW NEW Mickey Mouse Club in 10 or so years.
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O.K. AHHHHH. Know I can forgive her for being all out of shape . Duh she was preggers. That also explains why her titties were so juicy and big. Dude if she looks like shit right now I'm scared for her when she goes through that whole huge phaze when she reaches 7 months. Dude maybe this is the end.
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...and we're waiting for the 4 horsemen to appear at any time now...
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Despite even the mere thought of them "doing the nasty" makes me vomit in my mouth, lets not forget that the child did not ask to be the son or daughter of Federbrit.
I wonder what they will name the child...
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that also explains why her titties were so juicy and big.
HILARIOUS comment!
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Fetus, OUT!
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Howdy y'all,
Big Kev and I want all y'all ta know we's goin' to have some babies. Then we's going to run fo' President of these here United States. Thanks fo' all y'all prayers.
Big Kev dun went out an bought me a new trailer. He's an angel!
Brit
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I'd bet 20% of my net worth (although admittedly that's not much) that Britney's IQ is hovering around 90, tops. Combined with KFed, this does not bode well for that child. Best of luck to him or her, he or she will need it!
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little late on hearing this, I guess... just wanted to say:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGH!!!!
and
"The end is nigh, ya'll"
that is all.
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would someone please buy K-Fed a vascectomy? He's spawned more times than nature should intend......
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So...what *were* all those publications lying about then, Brit?
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so i guess brit and justin really aren't ever getting back together? dang... winona and johnny forever!
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I'm with sarta. I'll bet the baby will be educationally retarded.
Speaking of betting, who wants to start a breakup pool? $5 says k-fed spilts before the 7th month.
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a funny thing just happened...i heard that brit is pregnant and the first place i went to check the rumors validity was stereogum.
in retrospect, i found that funny.
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The jerk wasn't even home when she started bleeding. This is so sad:
http://www.nationalenquirer.com/celebrity/63308
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I heard she wants to name it charlie if its a girl or louis (as in lousisana, haha) if its a boy...
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well, get ready.
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Hmm… I seem to remember Britney tearing those “false tabloids” a new one just the other day. Could it be? They were right? Whoa.
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That's strange, didn't Brit just announce her upcoming UPN reality series? So maybe they can name their kid "Cheap Ploy to Get Viewers"
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It's a fake; she's just getting fat.
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i think the best thing brit can do for his child is to have aaccidental abortion, immediately. no child deserves to be brought into this world she created.
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A prime example of why parenting classes are so useful... these two need to be signed up today. A health and hygiene course would be helpful as well.
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FOX tv movie on Britney's baby story in...5...4...3...2...
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Aww damn, I really was beginning to think that she never was pregnant. However, I'm sorry that his news has overshadowed the FANTASTIC pictures she took of her dogs' fucking bedrooms which were posted on her site. I bet Bit Bit and whatever that thing is growing in Britney's tummy are going to have some major sibling rivalry issues.
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Pippincat -- her dogs have special rooms just for fucking? Wow... now that's rich white trash.
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Dear God, I feel like I should get a prize because I went to high school with Kevin Federline back when he huffed paint thinner in P.E. class AND (this is a little off-topic but relates to last week posts) later went to school with Sam Endicott of the Bravery back when he had dreads and played ska. Most importantly I deserve a prize because somehow I turned out a bigger loser than either of those guys and I never saw that coming in like a million years.
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I used to think, "wow, this britney spears is the same age as I am and she's worth millions of dollars. I'm pretty jealous."
Yeah, I've decided I'm not so jealous anymore.
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Damn, do I ever miss the Fametracker forums right now.
Spederline spawn. However shall sleep tonight?
*shudder*
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She's got a bum in the oven
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this blog woudnt be shit without Britney, her stories always gets more comments.
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That poor white trash baby...
When KFED is going to dump her pregnant ass?
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wow ya'll, my advisors told me that getting knocked up by Kfed would fix our marriage, I just love my advisors ya'll !!
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So, let's see.. she's 4 months preggo? That means Kevin has just under 5 months to find a new baby hole to infect..
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"There are reports that I was in the hospital this weekend"?
So she's not sure if she was hospitalized or not? Why does THAT not surprise me?
Dubious English aside, this is just one more example why having a child should require a test and a license - much like driving a car, or working as a street sweeper.
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I feel sorry for her, she choose someone that is going to break her hart and she is now atached to him forever...
That is very sad even for Brit Brit.
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So Britney's really not a virgin?
Im shocked! Shocked I tell you.
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Betcha anything that this kids name if its a boy or a girl is going to be Kabballah Federline.
And as soon as this kid is born I can totally see Brittney becoming another Kathie Lee and this poor kid becoming another Cody Gifford.
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the end is near, read the prophecies (all fo them) and you shall find that this baby will be the anticrist. rock and roll
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She's going to name it Cheeto. Or Lourdes. And they're going to have the baby in Fresno with a Kabballah-approved midwife. Is it just me, or in Britney's little "I'm the next Madonna" mind, is K Fed her Carlos Leon?
(If you remember from the Details article, K-fed's "been dancing my ass off since Fresno!")
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The Daily Mail's claiming the baby is a girl.
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no way that daughter's gonna be blonde unless they bleach her hair...
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That is a awful mental picture a baby with a bleach hair!
Of course Britney being a Madonna wanabe is going to name her baby girl "Esther", that is so lame!
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Yeah your right Happy, since Britney has a really scary "single white female" thing towards Madonna more then likely I wouldn't be suprised if this baby would be named Lourdes for a girl and Rocco for a boy.
And I also wouldn't be supprised if Brit dumped Kfed's butt in three years time and took up with some English hipster movie director.
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it's not the looks that are scary...it's the lack of intelligence. god, i can't believe these two people have reproduced!
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I wonder who Britney's Guy Richie will be? Any nominations? Maybe she'll go off with Paul Bettany or some other wanker.
Regardless, I can see her pregnancy message skank tank tops now: "Kabballist to be" with an arrow pointing to the belly...
I hope she covers "Papa Don't Preach." Although that might be better suited for La Lohan.
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federline yo
i got britney knocked up
ha ha ha
hey haters, now what's up
federline yo
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i mean hey! i am a big fan of britney and all but i never thought she will be pregnent (it might ruin her whole career or something) but i also feel very sorry for britney for choosing that kind of guy to be her hurband and also a father i mean hes gonna dump her probobly after the birth of the child which is very sad but hes gotta buy the bling with her money and then um..dump her
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She's over, it's really over
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I wonder who Kfed's new girlfriend is?
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A Feder-fetus grows in Britney.
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My money's on a dumping right during the seventh month, as per his previous track record, for a Vegas girl of er, some sort.
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HEIS NEVER GOING TO LEAVE BRITNEY...HE LOVES HER MONEY MONEY MONEY WAY TOO MUCH LMAO
THEY ARE CO-DEPENDANT...HE LOVES HER ATTENTION AND SHE LOVES GIVING IT AND GETTING IT...THEY ARE PHYCHO COUPLE WHO THINK THE WORLD ADMIRES THEM LOL....LITTLE DO THEY KNOW THEY ARE THE JOKE OF THE NATION AND ANY OFF SPRINGS THEY HAVE WILL BE TOO
TRASH CAN ONLY PRODUCE MORE TRASH
SO SAD
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send a message to brit brit: http://britneyspears.com/baby-message.php
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You know, motherhood changes people. So, as high as she is on cheetoes and red bull, hopefully she'll calm down when the kid's born. We all know there's no hope for K- Fed, so hopefully she'll try and pick up some slack. If she doesn't step- up, that kid will be the youngest ever in rehab. Can't stand the bitch, but no kid deserves a mom that treats the dog better than the kid. Good luck Bratney.
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Sorry, cheetoes and frapuchinos. What the hell does that mean anyway? Is she spilling it on herself? If not and she's inhaling it like she does everything else, that kid's already up for obesity. Hey, here's your first preggo tip- YOU GOTTA EAT HEALTHY!!!!
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theres a new press release on her website that says that she still claims to be a virgin. how fucked up is that?
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There's 74 frickin posts in here? who f'ing cares?
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You have a great URL, a cool graphic, and an RSS feed. Why do you keep writing sh!t about Britney Spears? Who gives a rat's a$$? There have got to be better things to post about.
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JOHN, WTF!?!? A POST ON BRIT'S WEBSITE CLAIMING SHE'S A VIRGIN?!?! MAN, YOUR READING THINGS THAT DOESN'T EVEN EXIST! YOU'RE SUCH A FALSE TABLOID!
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I can't think of a better word for this entire fiasco besides "sad". Pathetic sad, not boo-hoo sad.
Here we have Little Miss Tart USA, spinning out shit record after shit record, laughing all the way to the bank while the public continues to spend their hard-earned money on a cheap broad plastered in eight pounds of makeup with her tits squeezed up out of her top, flashing that 100-tooth grin at everyone for year after year. We get a few close-call nipple slips, one horrible movie, and tabloid after tabloid about whether she's spread her legs or not.
Meanwhile, her boyfriend comes out of his trance, dumps her for a chick with talent AND class (a double whammy!), and then becomes uber-successful himself, and our poor little slutcake is left in the dust and exposed as the skanky, crap act phony she really is.
Hmm, how do we combat this dilemma? Marry the ugliest man in the south for a whopping 55 hours, and follow it up with another wedding... but this time to the Mr. Sleaze McFornicator himself. America's most notorious two-dollar ho can't manage to score anyone better than a washed-out "dancer" who's knocked up another chick twice already and, what's worse, she has to break up a relationship for the sake of her own greed?
What we're left with is a slutty bimbo in Goodwill-quality rags with cheese-powdered fingers sloughing away at a fag while her f*ck buddy (oh sorry, I meant husband) gets sloshed and manhandles every stripper in Vegas, and we have to watch week after week after week while her ass expands and the Red Bull company become gazillionaires. Golly, how exciting. Even more exciting is the news that Lacy Loo, Bit Bit and whatever other idiot rat-dogs she's got are going to have to share the wealth now that one K-Fed's sperm has managed to navigate its way up in the right direction (once in something like 10 months).
Well, whoop-de-freaking-do. Excuuuuuuuuuse me for saying this is a disgrace, and that boy oughta get himself neutered, and fast.
I'm still voting for "Kevyn".
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roflmao at Trent's comment: You're such a false tabloid!!
stereogum we need something else to chew.
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Wasn't she drinking and smoking still...recently?
I thought I remembered reading that. Or in those pictures of her by the pool looking all fat and dumpy.
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"Wasn't she drinking and smoking still...recently?"
Then the kid'll be even more retarded...
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Congrats to Britney and Kevin. Didn't you hear that she almost miscarried this past weekend. She's also 4 months pregnant that is the perfect time to tell people because usually the risk of miscarrige is low. Probably why she waited this long.
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I love to watch that trainwreck that is Britney Spears life here at stereogum and the comments are awsome! I care about that!
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you guys, she is going to get HUUUUUGE!!!
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When i got pregnant i had to eat healthy food and exercise ´couse my blood presure was to high and i didn´t get so big and my baby born ok. I think she need a doctor to help her with that or else she and her baby will have trouble she should cut all that cheetos and redbull...
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Check out:
http://www.hellomagazine.com/
She is eating all that junk food that girl not only gona get huge but she is going to put her baby and herself in trouble, i agree with a comment that i read people should have a license to reproduce.
I don´t think when you´re pregnant that you shoul "eat for two" for my experience i think you should eat food that will help the baby´s health and your own health.
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Is the forcast for lil' kev a spittin' image of colin farrell or what?
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wow........ this is gonna b deep. i neve thought i would see the day a ditz would have a baby..... this is real big........ um, i hope ya'll dont drive eachother crazi with the diapers...... this news is depressin the public but im straight cuz i dont listen 2 brit. i listn 2 hip-ho n r&b. keep it pimpin big. holla
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you should name your baby pickles
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WTF! OMFG! Another Federline?? It's bad enough I go to school with Kevin's Lil' Brothers!!! Do I really have to hear about ANOTHER Federline? GAH!
ok, well, bye.
Jessica
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well we all know it was just waiting 2 happen i thought by justin! opps i did it agen! if the baby hits her she can finaly say hit me baby one more time!
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some people just should not be allowed to breed! i feel sorry for the kid with britney as a mom just think about how the kids gonna act....and what all the kid will be told about him mom!
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the anti-christ indeed
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hey Britney I hope you this whole you haveing a baby works out ok!! i wish you the most luck you are the number one in my life you the coolest gilr/singer!!
sadie
can you plezz e-mail me back at sadiehancock@hotmail.com
thanxs your the coolest!!
Sadie
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i hate u britany, and i hope ur baby comes out better than u!
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