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July 26, 2006

M Night Shyamalan Vs. Woody Allen

I heard something disturbing on TV the other day. It was a commercial for the movie Scoop. "From the director of Match Point" was the pitch. Jeez, I know he made some lousy flicks in the last twenty years, but is "new Woody Allen movie" so unpalatable to Scarlett Johansson fans?

M Night Shyamalan, meanwhile, has bigger problems. His new thriller Lady In The Water is fun to whisper, but a drag to watch. I'm told the plot is more incoherent than a Justin Timberlake video. How long will "Directed by M Night Shyamalan" remain a valid marketing angle?

Let's momentarily ignore the writer/director/actors' big screen slumps, and see who's got the better iTunes Celebrity Playlist (both posted yesterday).

M Night Shyamalan

1. Bob Dylan & Johnny Cash - "Girl From The North Country"
Damn, I wish I could be one percent as inspiring as this.

2. Bob Dylan - "Blowin' In The Wind"
This is empircal evidence that he is a god.

3. Blink-182 - "All Of This"
I love this song. Almost did a video for this. It would have been about vampires.

4. Pearl Jam - "Rearviewmirror"
"I wrote my first studio screenplay to this."

5. Concrete Blonde - "Joey"
Reminds me of my N.Y.U. days. Love this song.

6. Tesla - "Love Song (Live From The Trocadero)"
I was there when they recorded this. I'm screaming with the rest of them.

7. Eminem - "Lose Yourself"
Anthem for all us outcasts.

8. Jeff Buckley - "Strange Fruit (Live)"
Like being in a trance. Spiritual.

9. Jeff Buckley - "Hallejulah"
One of the ten best songs ever recorded. I tried to get this for The Sixth Sense.

10. Kanye West - "Through The Wire"
When this song comes on, my children and I start cheering at the Unbreakable reference.

11. Pearl Jam - "Alive"
Somehow, these three songs are what I feel inside, but can't express.

12. Pearl Jam - "Black"
Somehow, these three songs are what I feel inside, but can't express.

13. Pearl Jam - "Jeremy"
Somehow, these three songs are what I feel inside, but can't express. Pearl Jam are gods of storytelling.

14. Johnny Cash - "Hurt"
It brings tears to my eyes. Are we all going to feel like this in the end?

15. U2 - "Bad"
One of the classic songs of all-time. Sprawling and epic, like "Stairway To Heaven."

Woody Allen
Jazz

Tough call. I'm gonna give it to Woody. You can't put three songs from the same album on a mix.

Posted at 10:19 AM
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25 Comments

yes you can. hater.

Posted by: narrowexpanded at 07/26/06 10:26 AM | Reply
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you had me at rearviewmirror (but maybe not three ten songs)

Posted by: dave at 07/26/06 10:43 AM | Reply
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Those are four superb Pearl Jam songs.

But you can't put four songs from the same artist on a mix, Shyamamamamalan.

Posted by: scott at 07/26/06 10:47 AM | Reply
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I once did a mash up of Pearl Jam's "Black" with Pearl Jam's "Black." It was some meta-ironic shit.

Posted by: Ferris at 07/26/06 10:54 AM | Reply
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You can put 4 songs of the same artist on a mix; it just makes you look uninspired and clueless about other music. Thus, you can if you want a shitty mix.

Posted by: Gargamale at 07/26/06 10:55 AM | Reply
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Oh Joey...I'm not angry anymore.

Love that he was actually at a Tesla concert. He wins for that alone.

Posted by: Susan M at 07/26/06 10:58 AM | Reply
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Woody pegs Bud Powell as the best jazz piano player. Woody wins.

Posted by: Rob at 07/26/06 11:09 AM | Reply
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Bad is a fantastic song.

I have never heard "Jazz" before - who sings that one?

Posted by: richard at 07/26/06 12:04 PM | Reply
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Woody Allen is the winner, clearly.

Posted by: zach at 07/26/06 12:15 PM | Reply
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That's funny, because when I saw the ad I was thinking the same thing. Match Point? What about Annie Hall, Sleeper, even Bullets Over Broadway? I guess its aimed at a different audience. I really love Scarlett though.

Posted by: Karl at 07/26/06 12:23 PM | Reply
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The Tesla and misspelling "screenplay" kinda negate any other positives in M.'s list.

Posted by: David at 07/26/06 12:37 PM | Reply
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sidney bechet * coltrane * thelonious * charlie parker * louie armstrong!!!!

woody allen wins in a rout.....

though i do love the dylan/cash north country song.....

but, woody is the ultimate artist!

and has done a movie a year for what seems like the past 20....

m. night.......good night.

see you in the cut out bins....

nothing will ever top annie hall, manhattan, stardust memories in my humble opinion.....

love ya woody!

Posted by: maya lucia at 07/26/06 12:48 PM | Reply
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I agree... you can't have multiple songs by the same artist on a miz...

...unless it's Jeff Buckley.

Posted by: leoni at 07/26/06 1:05 PM | Reply
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aagh! "mix"

can't type this morning

Posted by: leoni at 07/26/06 1:07 PM | Reply
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You can have two by the same artist but only if they are very different songs. If it's two songs by, say, Blink-182, that doesn't work because all of their songs are shitty pop power ballads.

I'm not really a jazz fan, so I'll have to go with M. Night, even though I like Woody Allen more. And "Scoop" looks weird...I mean, Hugh Jackman and Scarlett Johannson? I can't imagine them having chemistry at all...

Posted by: a is for applebits at 07/26/06 2:11 PM | Reply
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Woody Allen by a landslide.

Posted by: dudeAsinCool at 07/26/06 2:13 PM | Reply
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i thought Justin's video for "Cry me a river" was completely coherent. and really good.

Posted by: Beth at 07/26/06 3:16 PM | Reply
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Woody wins hands down.

And he has been pimping awesome jazz publicly for as long as I can remember.

Posted by: Skatelip at 07/26/06 4:51 PM | Reply
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One other thing..."Anthem for all us outcasts?!"

My students think this one-trick pony is a god. How can you be an outcast when folks will throw millions at you each time you take a crap?

(...must be hungry. too cranky...)

Posted by: Skatelip at 07/26/06 4:59 PM | Reply
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Went to NYU with Shyamalan and I'm SHOCKED... Shocked?.. Yes, SHOCKED that there's no SKID ROW on his list. He LOVED that band. Seriously...

Posted by: drew at 07/26/06 6:07 PM | Reply
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you just can't outclass woody... oh, except when he's sleeping with his adopted daughter, I guess..

Posted by: cibbuano at 07/26/06 7:10 PM | Reply
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yeah the "from the director of match point" has always made me laugh to. how about "from the director or annie hall or manhattan?" or how about "from god."

yeah that will do.

Posted by: bryan at 07/26/06 8:52 PM | Reply
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M. Night Shamalhamadingdong

Scarlett Johannsen is the most beautiful human being that has ever been alive. It's just true.

Posted by: Evan at 07/27/06 5:43 AM | Reply
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I don't get the whole Scarlett Johannsen thing.

Give me Kirsten Dunst anyday.

Posted by: SonnyBill at 07/27/06 7:09 AM | Reply
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you can't put one pearl jam song on a mixtape. Woody wins ... as usual.

Posted by: bug at 07/27/06 8:05 AM | Reply
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