Comments

"Butter Christ." http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_zqFoq3qej2c/SiAtEbrF0rI/AAAAAAAAtAA/uKnZtkCzbiY/s400/Christ_Butter.jpg
Get yer GOTDAMN science outta my happiness!
The parents really have the gall to look embarrassed at the end??? As if they didn't raise these kids to be sex-fearing, face-gnawing, kiss demons? This should be shown to all conservative parents. There's nothing pure or beautiful about this. It's actually more off putting than (what I hear it's like to watch) really niche porn.
Phobia confessions time? Alright. I'm not AFRAID of these things, but they freak me out: big, full trees on stormy nights (They could fall on you or pick you up and run away. Either one, really), being surrounded by trucks on the expressway (They could all - sovereign of their drivers - decide to box you in and smush your tiny car because hahahaha they're trucks and you're not), being blocked by a really loud train while I'm on my bike (Bikes don't have windows to roll up, so you're just the jerk with your fingers in your ears - and your eyes squeezed closed? - on your bike while the train is passing). Now... does the fact that each of these things begins with "tr" have anything to do with this? Who can say? It's probably just a coincidence, right? Your turn.
Why would the store sell crotchless panties for babies??? Valid question. But I think the problem goes a little higher up. WHY IS THERE A FACTORY MAKING CROTCHLESS PANTIES FOR BABIES??? Who is making these? Why would they even exist? Let alone be sold. I can't.
My favorite part of the Snow White trailer is the part where they didn't let Kristen Stewart - the star of the movie - say even one word.
Spike Lee: the Oscars will be held in Brooklyn on a stoop where Rosie Perez will sing-shout the names of all nominees and winners while being shot from alternately a bird's and worm's eye-view... She's and the title will be changed to The 84th Annual Academy Awards: A Spike Lee Joint. Music by Radio Raheem.
He's clearly been a journalist for at least 100 years. You'd think he'd know how to do an interview without SO MANY yes or no questions. /sour grapes
I choose to believe that we just witnessed vector art in reverse.
Right! That's how I watch Downton and Misfits. And once Downton IS on in America, Game of Thrones, Mad Men, and probably some other stuff will be back. SUNDAY NIGHT TV OPEN THREAD, YOU GUYS!
Uh oh! I have to tell my mom these recaps are back.
I will not stop requesting a Sunday Night TV Open Thread. This is something that should exist.
Right? I watched Downton Abbey LAST NIGHT and Maggie Smith pronounced it chaise looooong. (Is this what you meant by "recently?" If so... OMG, why isn't there a Sunday Night TV Open Thread? Walking Dead, Downton Abbey, Boardwalk Empire, THE RETURN OF MISFITS, and soon enough Mad Men and Game of Thrones! Open thread? Open thread!) But yea... that pronunciation made me question everything I ever believed.
I think every show should hire its biggest fan as a consultant to prevent weird inconsistencies and slip ups like the hair grooming thing. I mean, T-Dog's hair has been closely cropped for how long now? He should definitely have an afro. And Darryl has been retrieving his arrows in every episode until this one. Why is it all of a sudden a waste of an arrow to shoot a hanging zombie? I'm pretty sure after killing The Literal Walking Dead, it's not much of an inconvenience to climb a very medium-sized tree for Arrows That Are In Limited Supply And Also Very Valuable. I watch this show because there's nothing else like it on and I enjoy this kind of thing, but I'm just so frustrated. And no more dialogue about/flashbacks to things that happened a long time ago - and were unimaginably insipid THEN - that are supposed to be characterization, but are mainly just so boring and pointless I hope all the characters die.
If I learned anything from Betty Draper (besides, of course, Don't Ever Be Betty Draper), it's that you should buy a stylistically incongruent chaise lounge for just such occasions - but call them fainting couches because This Is America. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yauP32p6XF0/TBkBULAnciI/AAAAAAAACeQ/6AHdZFKtswE/s1600/Fainting+Couch.jpg
That's not how it works, but also, if it was, I'm pretty sure their real names aren't Edward and Bella so... DOUBLE NOPE. You are saying lies!
That would explain why there's been an uptick in people eyein' my lemon drinks.
Please DEAR GOD let "pies on pies" be an allusion to "snacks on snacks". GOD PLEASE! So many layers!
I need to find a way to start acting in time to be cast a Michonne. So this will involve a time machine. Anyone who can help with this (time machine owners, acting coaches), please advise.
OHHHH MAN! For a few years, literally everyone I knew had a clothing line, or worked in a sneaker store, or was a dj, or owned a streetwear boutique, or - even more bafflingly, was a rapper... Not joking, I think working in that environment, as someone with an actual discernible skill or two among people with aimless ambitions of getting "in", made me mentally ill - or exacerbated some latent issues I already had. The point is, whenever I see a commercial or even a screencap of this show, I get a bit of PTSD. JUST TAKE IT AWAY!!! /sent from the fetal position
You guys! T-Dog has finally ended our national suffering and revealed his Christian name: Theodore Douglas! Will no one think of Theodore? I have seen this mentioned exactly NOWHERE!
http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ldwrlzhy1g1qfaow2o1_500.png Look at banner, Ashton! I've invented a backstory for this that involves a translation that could only happen through a 100-person game of Telephone.
Never go with a European Man to a second location. You could have gotten Taken starring Liam Neeson!
I bought an orange jumpsuit from the thrift store earlier this year to go as Alisha from Misfits, but then I saw this: https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-son_bcuHV7Q/TXuGItt30uI/AAAAAAAAA6A/_U1cdw_OTbE/s1600/party%252B08%252B084-1.jpg And thought... Oh, I should go as Theo Huxtable wearing a Gordon Gartrelle (or Sexy Theo Huxtable wearing a Gordon Gartrelle). THEN, I thought I'll just make a black beard out of felt and go as a member of the Evil Study Group from Community. Very simple.
Ryan Gosling should play The Internet.
You may ALWAYS interject with Game of Thrones comments. It is known.
Wait... so did Ned ever die? Did Rue move out? Don't tell me I'm going to have to watch this stupid show to get resolution!
This isn't a caption, but they started filming this thing when it was pretty small. How did they know it would grow to be so big? Or do they just film ALL THE PUMPKINS just in case?
OMG! My mom (Hi, Becca's mom!) has a knitting machine EXACTLY like this! Without the hacks of course. You can put patterns in, but it's way more manual than whatever this guy's done to his. This can basically be KNITCEPTION.
We're all Ned Stark's face right now. http://img834.imageshack.us/img834/9538/annecatelyn.png
Ok, but wait until the moment when you realize that Jon Hamm will slowly age into Mitt Romney. http://img.slate.com/media/1/123125/123063/2241245/2259778/100707_WS_MittRomneyTN.jpg
This baby just gets it! I said a eh mon! http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqwpcxV2LY1qmlnsco1_400.gif
http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kxef3coHUn1qzfcsfo1_500.png "Hell's Bells, Trudy!" ...basically...
I was going to read that Shia LaBeouf article for a laugh, but then I realized that I CAN'T EVEN DO THAT because I read this word - spoonfed - as SPOONFed. Because spoonfing is a thing people do. I give up.
"Look at me, I'm Sandra Lee. Lousy with profanity." Is Grease the name of her Food Network show? Probably.
Can I just say that your Game of Thrones comments are sustaining me in the interim? I miss Game of Throooooones!
In other news: 4 Bobby Drapers in 4 seasons. Are we sure January Jones isn't killing these kids?