Brian the Astronaut

Comments from Brian the Astronaut

Misread the above as "Behold Duff Goldman’s Star Spangled Inaugural Da Cake Eatur"
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January 23, 2013 on Here Are Some Morning Links!
If this is a Jackie Gleason joke, then I'm the 85 year old dancing to house music at the club.
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January 17, 2013 on Snake Chases Workers Manti Te’o Open Thread
My mind is blown, and yet I am really not disappointed at all, because his rap game kills, and he just won.
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January 10, 2013 on The First Jam Of 2013: Froggy Fresh – “Same Old Kid”
Can anyone answer for me why the first episode has the Sylvester character talking in the first person, yet all the other episodes are in the third person? Also, if Sylvester woke up at 7 in the morning in a strange bed, and didn't know who Cathy was, how is it possible that Sylvester later meets Cathy in a diner to collect his money for a staged hook-up to respark Cathy's relationship with Rufus? I thought he didn't know who Cathy was until he woke up the next morning. I guess I just have a lot of questions about "Trapped in the Closet," guys.
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November 26, 2012 on Everyone Saw A Movie This Past Weekend, Did You?
I didn't see a movie this weekend, but I did spend three hours watching "Trapped in the Closet" on IFC. Does that count?
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November 26, 2012 on Everyone Saw A Movie This Past Weekend, Did You?
I once had pancakes that tasted like fish at a diner, but being the kind of person I am, I presumed I was just being crazy, and kept eating them. Bite after bite of mackerel-infused maple syrup passed through my mouth, until finally not even the taste of bacon could eradicate the feeling of eating low tide from my senses. Yes, I returned the foul dish, but not before experiencing the flavor enough times that when the New York Times reviewed Guy Fieri's new restaurant and described the marshmallows, I was struck with the sensation once more.
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November 14, 2012 on The New York Times Reviews Guy Fieri’s New Restaurant
"What happened outside? At a FOOTBALL GAME?!?" - nerds
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October 8, 2012 on Ohio State Marching Band Expose Themselves As NERDS!
He looks like he bought that suit for a dollar.
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September 17, 2012 on Robocop’s New Outfit Stinks
"The Kids are all Wrong" is the title of my next album. Thank you.
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September 12, 2012 on Wednesday Afternoon Dance Break!
I don't know what the intended result of posting this GIF was, but I just laughed my ass off for the past ten minutes watching the Honey Nut Cheerios Bee punch George W Bush in the face and make him barf a bald eagle with bodybuilder arms.
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September 11, 2012 on Reader Poll: Do You Agree With Nick Cassavetes About Incest? N/N?
Okay. I know I should groan and wince and all, but I actually thought that - as ads for local TV affiliate weathermen go - this was remarkably competent. Not quite sure why the shoutout to Dairy Queen or the whole Martian thing, but, you know "been number one so long I don't know how to write the number two" isn't all that bad for a weatherman.
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September 11, 2012 on Idaho Weatherman Really Went For It
Judging by his face, he seems to be consumed with quite an Affliction.
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September 6, 2012 on Nick Nolte Riding A Bumper Car Is Perfect
Less Sand. - facetaco
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September 6, 2012 on Relaxing Hawaii Beach Scene
Is a possum like an otter? Because I found one of those in my back yard this weekend. http://i45.tinypic.com/ivip81.jpg
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September 4, 2012 on Russell Crowe Got Lost Kayaking For A Sec. This Weekend
I know they're in his dojo and all, but perhaps showing a rack of white robes behind his wife wasn't the best idea considering the message.
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September 4, 2012 on Chuck Norris And Wife Have A Dire Warning For Obama’s America
Caroline, if you want to see some Morris Dancing in the good ole' US of A, come on down to my son's Winter Revels at Worthington Hooker Elementary School in December. Gotta admit, New Englanders are still rocking shit people stopped doing in England 500 years ago.
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August 13, 2012 on You Don’t Know Me, But I’d Like To Talk To You About Morris Dancing
This is all well and good, but I'm waiting to pass judgement for when Heinrich Stockhausen scores his next work for helicopter blades and unbreakable glass.
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August 9, 2012 on Six Full Minutes Of Honesty
I can't stand how insipid this thread has become! - Balk Talk
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August 9, 2012 on Six Full Minutes Of Honesty
I'm still sore over Alicia being a Skrull, lilbob's. I completely understand.
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August 8, 2012 on What Is Joss Whedon’s Marvel Television Show Going To Be?
Is it okay that I thought for a second you were talking about Batroc, the Leaper? Yes? Please?
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August 8, 2012 on What Is Joss Whedon’s Marvel Television Show Going To Be?
Tony Stark hosts a competitive bartending show on the Food Network called "Demon in a Bottle"
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August 8, 2012 on What Is Joss Whedon’s Marvel Television Show Going To Be?
Hawkeye as "The Bachelor", and some of the prospective women are secretly spies who betray him to their corporate superiors (and one of them is M.O.D.A.M.)
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August 8, 2012 on What Is Joss Whedon’s Marvel Television Show Going To Be?
My wife would like to tell all you ladies to bugger off. She saw him first. As her husband, I would like to imagine that he is gay. (My wife sobbed openly during Tinker Tailor when his character came out of the closet).
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July 19, 2012 on Operation Benedict Cumberbatch Everywhere
Rush Limbaugh is full of crap. Anyone who's anyone knows that Bane is a character developed in the mid-1990's by Chuck Dixon and Doug Moensch as a foil to Batman who was so vicious that he actually broke Batman's back, making way for a more "extreme" Batman called Azrael to take Batman's place. It was less a political conspiracy and more an editorial direction to boost comics sales in an era of comics when sales were driven by slaking the bloodthirst of twelve-year old boys and comics were being touted as a speculative investment opportunity. Ugh. Mom! I'll be right up! Just a few more turns in Civ III and I develop gunpowder!
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July 18, 2012 on Rush Limbaugh Uncovers Liberal Plot Buried In The Dark Knight Rises
"Those parallel fourths in the chorus are UNACCEPTABLE" - my music theory teacher.
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July 11, 2012 on Chet Haze – “Do It Better”
Also, she made a blender that turns on when you growl at it: http://web.media.mit.edu/~monster/blendie/dobson_blendie_small.mov
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June 6, 2012 on ScreamBody: Finally, An Useful Invention
Guys, she went to MIT and is the Department Head of the Digital Media department of RISD. Basically, she's my girlfriend.
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June 6, 2012 on ScreamBody: Finally, An Useful Invention
You other robots can't refute
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May 10, 2012 on UHHHHHHH THE ROBOT UPRISING HAS GOTTEN WEIRD