capt clown

Comments from capt clown

You guys, GWYNETH PALTROW IS GETTING DIVORCED. Goop. Worst person in the world. We need to get the gang back together, stat. This is bigger than us, it’s bigger than ad revenue or lack thereof, who’s with me????

+3 |
March 25, 2014 on Heaven Just Got A Little More Videogum

FYI, the camera cut away until after the fish was regurgitated, so I’m pretty confident in saying that there were definitely in fact barfing noises to be heard if you were in the room. (Barf noises don’t sound magical.)

+1 |
November 20, 2013 on David Blaine: Real Or Magic: David Blaine Is So Good At His Street Magic Job

OK then, second try:

In Texas, a man wonders if he’ll ever find a use for his new chainsaw. Spoiler Alert: Eventually he does.

+7 |
October 28, 2013 on Best New Party Game: Non-Scary Scary Movie Plot Synopses!

A philanthropist does a starving woman a huge favor by having her mouth sewn to the anus of a healthy donor who loves good food. Encouraged by his results and being a believer in Reagan’s trickle-down economics, he then sews the mouth of a second woman to the anus of the first woman.

+3 |
October 28, 2013 on Best New Party Game: Non-Scary Scary Movie Plot Synopses!

I heard fame has gone to his head and Boo now demands to have all green Greenies removed from his bowl of Greenies.

+3 |
October 15, 2013 on The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It?! Contest: Anderson Cooper With Boo The Dog And Some Other Dog

The only thing that would have made that plan better is if they’d done 180 one-minute installments.

+10 |
October 9, 2013 on How Was Everyone’s Day Today?

From past videos I’ve seen of him on the Senate floor, his rabble-rousing and grandstanding seemed to be much more about fueling his “cult of me” personal ego than about getting things done. That doesn’t mean you can’t agree with the things he says, but he seemed to be as tone-deaf as a politician as he is in handling his personal affairs. We need politicians who can get changes passed, not just piss people off.

+5 |
September 10, 2013 on Who Will Play Lawrence O’Donnell And Anthony Weiner In The, I Hope, Full-Length Movie Version Of This Interview?

I heard when they’re going to visit friends, if she starts to approach the door he says, “I… Am… The one who knocks!”

(confession: I didn’t really hear that)

+5 |
September 5, 2013 on Can You Imagine Being Married To Bryan Cranston And Watching Breaking Bad With Him?

That was his edited response. His full response was:

Vin Diesel: “I don’t give a fuck about Batman. Or who plays Batman. But don’t get me started on that godawful Fifty Shades Of Gray casting…”

+8 |
September 5, 2013 on Quote Of The Day: Vin Diesel Doesn’t Give A Fuck About Batman

I bet she makes him speak in a really high voice at home.

+5 |
September 5, 2013 on Can You Imagine Being Married To Bryan Cranston And Watching Breaking Bad With Him?

On a related note, Schwimmer was IN Band of Brothers being a jerk, so… There’s your full circle.

+3 |
August 29, 2013 on Best New Party Game: Friends-Themed Anti-David Schwimmer Graffiti

Look Kelly, I don’t want to criticize your criticizing of the cast of the Lone Ranger criticizing their criticizing critics, but…

Well, it turns out that’s all I came here to say.

+2 |
August 7, 2013 on Cast Of The Lone Ranger Criticizes Critics’ Criticism Of The Lone Ranger

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN ! ! ! ! !

+5 |
July 19, 2013 on The Kirk Cameron Movie Trailer That Facebook Doesn’t Want You To See!

Why, Orange you glad she had Apple?

+28 |
July 8, 2013 on Duh Aficionado Magazine: Gwyneth Paltrow Doesn’t Believe Nature Can Hurt You

Dear god, please let her walk off a cliff to prove to everyone that nothing in nature can hurt you…

+4 |
July 8, 2013 on Duh Aficionado Magazine: Gwyneth Paltrow Doesn’t Believe Nature Can Hurt You

Also Gabe, I haven’t seen the movie, and:: “…and the cool beads of sweat that dripped down mama’s…” Maybe it’s just me but I thought you were going somewhere else with that sentence.

Also: How is this review not part or Rotten Tomato’s ratings?

Also: No Krypto.

+2 |
June 17, 2013 on The Videogum Movie Club: Man Of Steel

Gabe, *SPOILER ALERT* would be appropriate text before revealing the “Space Hitler” spoiler. Just saying.

0 |
June 17, 2013 on The Videogum Movie Club: Man Of Steel

I feel like making fun of this, but I’m currently pitching a sitcom idea that spelled itself out in my alphabet soup last week, so I’m holding my tongue for now.

+6 |
June 12, 2013 on The Thing About Making TV Shows Based On Twitter

I understand that to some people, “thank god” means the same as “thank my lucky stars”, but Wolf said “thank the LORD”, which sounded really awkward coming out of him… BTW, it’s not like the bible belt is 98% christian or anything, just like lots of “red states” are actually just 55-60% republican.

At what point do these questions start making you uncomfortable?

“Do you thank the lord that you survived?”
“Do you thank Jesus Christ that you survived?”
“Do you thank Jesus Christ Our Lord And Savior that you survived?”
“Which catholic saint do you feel is most responsible for saving your life?”
“Do you thank Allah you survived?”
“Do you wish The Lord loved those who died from the tornado as much as He obviously loves you?”

+3 |
May 22, 2013 on Did You Thank The Lord, Though?