Comments

Usually it's the child that's a little Hellraiser.
"The Bridge to Terabithia was nothing but a turgid discussion of categorical imperatives." - You
"Let's take down the Washington establishment." - Son of a former US Vice President
Hey, T Mills? See this corny motherfucker? http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/55/Elvis_presley.jpg/220px-Elvis_presley.jpg See that old dude? He subsided off of amphetamines and peanut butter, and once wandered (unannounced, mind you) into the White House with a FUCKING GUN, and presented it to the President: http://i35.tinypic.com/j927uq.jpg So put the Malibu back in your parent's pantry, you unoriginal cocksucker and calm the fuck down. You'll be much cooler.
"I'm not going to change." - Guy who's modified his body beyond all recognition
Gabe's not too fond of this William Joel character either.
Right: a flat-topped, smug jackass who, when he's not boring the shit out of me with his glorified karaoke contests, spends his days lactating on the French Riviera. Left: An American idol.
Joke's on you, Gabe. I don't even HAVE a job.
Yeah, J Biebs, because if history has taught us anything, it's that child celebrities really start to soar once they grow up.
http://i38.tinypic.com/nfo3rl.jpg
And how convenient of Gabe to forget the time he mashed down the deceleratrix, screeched up to the apothecary window, and gesticulated wildly over the absence of his precious, precious opium.
I heard it's attached to Speed the Plow 2: Speed Plowier
The only thing this guy needs to shave off is a few pounds. BONG!
I think the water bottle was supposed to be a metaphor for the javelin I wish she would have thrown.
That's not what we meant by 12 steps, Basil Marceaux Dot Com.
"I'm a snarky asshole hiding behind a god damn pirate squirrel." - Chareth
"I'm well versed in Vonnegut's masterworks." - Gabe
I think there's also a maggot in his ear whispering that the chin strap beard is a good look.
According to Urban Dictionary, "salad tongs" is now slang for "pneumatic fisting machine." DUH.
YOU'RE MAN IS A FRIENDLY MENCH!
None. Zero sympathy for them whatsoever. I think I read that somewhere. On my step-dad's back tattoo, if I remember correctly.
Under Maggie's photo it said "Not Pictured."
*Naomi fires her RAZR across the courtroom, striking opposing counsel in the head* Counsel: "Your Honor, this is highly unusual!" Judge: "No it isn't."
Ah. I see. For some reason I pictured a montage of you and some old slumlord buying ice cream cones and throwing frisbees and rolling around with puppies.
Meanwhile, the only bombs that Birdie defuses are Gabe's jokes. YA BURNT, GABE!
"The quasi-Rick Rubinesque of the poster transcends the film's mediation on the zeitgeist of blah blah blah blah blah Animal Collective side-project blah blah blah blah 8.6." - Pitchfork
Guy Getting Hit By Ice Cream Truck was on Leno last night and got blind sided by one of Jay's Duesenbergs.
More like Kris Krossed the street. *dodges tomato*
Remember when that trolley hit Gabe while he was doing the Charleston?
Gabe has refused to acknowledge Antiques Roadshow ever since he unwittingly wandered into one and his outfit was instantly appraised at $1.4 million.
Luca Brasi literally sleeps with the fishes. Like, in pjs and everything. It's weird.
All I know is, in my dream last night a team of slick, handsome men convinced me over the course of 2 and a half hours that this is both fake and gay.
I'm going to try and explain this whole ordeal to my grandmother, just for fun. "So this one chick fights off her violent rapist, right?" "Good god." "And her concerned yet androgynous brother is all upset and whatnot." "...okay." "Yeah, that's about it. I love you Grandma." "Please just go."
Not seen: Gabe's embarrassed grandkids.
These hunky faggots don't know shit about interpretive dance.
http://www.box.net/shared/static/k50n87t7bi.jpg