Relatedly, if anyone wants to buy my screenplay "Fiddler on a Hot Tin Roof," I am accepting offers because J.J. Abrams isn't returning my calls. It's about an impotent Jew getting drunk and yelling at his relatives.
If there's one scientific principle to be learned from new-age spiritualism, it's that apparently the amount of mystical universe life-energy a person controls is directly proportional to the length of their unwashed hippy hair.
Once, during my freshman year of college, I was walking through the center of Amherst, between that one coffee shop and that other one that has better sandwiches, when I saw J. Mascis. Walking his dog. Talking to a round-esque ex-rocker type guy wearing a leather jacket and a moustache. I froze, torn between hero worship and not knowing what I'd say if I did decide to introduce myself. I didn't speak to him, but now I know what I should have said:
"J? Not J period. J! How can anybody... have a name like J?!?"
Thanks Maureen!
The secret is that she keeps a picture of Mel Gibson in her wallet, with tiny little hearts drawn around the eyes, a bigger heart around his adorable Aryan nose, and the biggest heart of all around his whole entire face.
The Videogum Dilemma: Is it worth posting about a horrible misappropriation of the holocaust if you know that it will inspire a comment thread of holocaust jokes?
That "you're welcome" was straight up awesome. Good to know they still teach Sarcasm and Bitchyness 101 in journalism school- Edward R. Murrow would be proud.
Christine O'Donnell's campaign takes another hit when an anonymous report on Gawker says that she dressed up as Evil-Lyn for three straight halloweens.
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