Comments from Constantinople

Whoa! Don't click on those, you guys! I didn't know new VG made links out of fake web address jokes but yep! it does!
+4 |
May 13, 2011 on The Unbearable Heaviness of Blogging (and celebrity genital news, Part 2.)
Just in case my roommie goes through my internet history, I make it a point to avoid URLs that would paint me as a doofus and/or creepus. So i can't actually bring myself to go those TMZ pages. Just like I haven't been back to in months. MISS YOU GUYS! ESPECIALLY YOU, ! Also, hiiii kiraaaaa!
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May 13, 2011 on The Unbearable Heaviness of Blogging (and celebrity genital news, Part 2.)
Did no one in the 50000+ crew for this film bother to cue Michael Bay into the whole moon atmosphere sitch? As in, there isn't one. As in, no fire and explosions, Mike! No sound effects, Mike!
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April 29, 2011 on Transformers: Dark Of The Moon Trailer, You Guys
Hiyeyeyeye Becca! You guys, this one time becca described this racist Fred parody as an 'ouroboros of wtfery' (IT'S IN THE BLOG ANNALS (BLANNALS); LOOK IT UP) and it was seriously so funny that even though i remember nothing else about that day of my life, i remember that and still laugh about it sometimes. There's like a cd in my car with that written on it. So ANYWAY today's prolly going to be great, and we're all going to end up in the BEST OF section of the Blannals. SHIA and SHIA!
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February 17, 2011 on Meet Today’s Guest Blogger: Becca
Oh man! ANOTHER iceberg?! WHAT ARE THE ODDS?!!!!! Seriously, is any one a scientist? Can i get a 95% confidence interval on this thing?
+13 |
July 28, 2010 on Titanic II Trailer And IMDB Memorable Quotes
Righto. For me, the top was one of the most sci-fi elements of the movie, requiring the most suspension of disbelief; that there was this epistemological dowsing rod that could tell you whether you are perceiving Reality. And it was just such a perfect symbol for the sophisticated Cartesian skepticism that underlay the film.
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July 19, 2010 on The Videogum Movie Club: Inception
"Uh oh, Frege, we're gonna need a bigger logic." -Bertrand Russell
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June 28, 2010 on Soccer = Socialism, Says This Impressively Crazy Dumb Racist
Slow down, champ. I still have to do the thumb-and-index-L-thing with my hands to tell my left from right. I don't think i'm ready for limb specific accessory names.
+26 |
June 24, 2010 on Jeremy London Probably Not Kidnapped! Jeremy London Racist Drug Addict!
Considering the depth of our love and our sinful sexual preferences, it just makes sense that my boyfriend be such a giant asshole.
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June 22, 2010 on That’s Your Boyfriend: Adam Hood
Sid is Canard and i still want to beat the shit out of him
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June 17, 2010 on I Wish This Toy Story/The Wire Mash-Up Was A Real Show
"It may be the majority is much younger skewed" is the new huh?
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June 16, 2010 on McDonald’s Executive Goes On The Record As A Christian Homophobe
Is Wally short of Walliam or Asshole?
+2 |
June 14, 2010 on That’s Your Coach: This Coach Wally Backman
Con-men deserve to be in jail, obvs no doyoyoy, but they also deserve high fives. Coloring your jail clothes with magic marker to impersonate a doctor and walk out of jail? UP HIGH!
+26 |
June 11, 2010 on NSFW: Jim Carrey’s Gay Sex Scenes
Considering the other Democratic primary candidates were the reanimated corpse of a deer and a stinky wooden shoe, i'd call this enlightened democracy in action.
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June 11, 2010 on Dear South Carolina, What On Earth?
It's oil's world now; we just soak in it.
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June 11, 2010 on Twitter: The Criterion Collection
I would have been great for this role back when i was drinking more capri sun, in the late 90s.
+8 |
May 25, 2010 on Who Should Play The BP Oil Spill?
6k in income and children? He was definitely going to get a refund.
+5 |
April 21, 2010 on That’s Your Boyfriend: Soy Sauce Tax Form Guy
"Earl, i though you said this was my shoehorn? This doesn't taste like my shoehorn"
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April 20, 2010 on The Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It? Caption Contest: Betty White Eating A Hot Dog
I don't feel like this gets said enough but Gabe, you are killing it today. Like Spacetronauts krumping behind ke$Ha who is playing with laser beams in a USA cape sorts of LOLk investments. Just the greatest at jokes. So thanks!
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April 20, 2010 on Introducing Videogum’s New Mascot: Birdie
I cannot describe how profoundly this trailer fails to appeal to any of my interests.
+20 |
April 9, 2010 on New Sex And The City 2 The Streets Trailer Even Worse Than Old Sex And The City 2 The Streets Trailer
No hardies about the age restriction. There's something to be said for not having gout or a living memory of the Teapot Dome Scandal. If you need me, i'll be in Teen Korner, riding the LIL MONSTER YOUTH QUAKE.
+26 |
I said that to my Electrodynamics professor this morning and she slapped me. =(
+54 |
April 7, 2010 on Holy Shit, The Insane Clown Posse “Miracles” Video Is CRAMAZING
Jay Leno! Nicholas Sparks!
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April 1, 2010 on Jay Leno Continues To Need To Shut Up
Is there a jail with a nice PA system playing a lot of JBieb that i can go to instead?
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March 30, 2010 on Teen Korner: Justin Bieber’s “Never Let You Go” Music VideOMG!!!!!