crunchberries

Comments from crunchberries

My basic AR reaction was:

Okay. My wife has been pregnant for five years with this big, fat comedy-baby. And at this point all of our friends and family won’t shut up about how excited they are for the baby to come. And we’re like, “We get it. We love babies. We loved those babies five years ago before they “went away.” But please stop talking about this baby. You’re ruining everything we love about babies by posting pictures of one clapping like a chicken in your womb on Facebook every 10 minutes.”

It gets to the point where I’m more excited for the birth itself than the baby. The birth comes along, and we all cry and hug, and it’s the happiest moment of our lives together. But then we realize we’re stuck with this baby—a baby whom, at this point, we’ve grown to resent quite a bit. And like all babies, you should probably keep an eye on them. So I spent the weekend watching the baby. And the baby was cute, and “breathtaking” in that special baby-way, and did plenty of cute, baby-things, but it still didn’t quite feel like my baby. But I guess that’s okay. I just wish I hadn’t spent my whole weekend watching the baby, because now the baby is “gone,” and the cycle will begin anew.

Overall: 7/10, would conceive again.

+5 |
May 28, 2013 on Arrested Development And/Or Behind The Candelabra Open Thread

Method acting in preparation for the role of Murray Siskind.

0 |
April 23, 2013 on What Is Ian Somerhalder Talking About?

I totally relate. I wish I had a chance to read him when he was living so I didn’t have to feel guilty about conducting/trying not to conduct a post mortem every time I read him now.

That being said, The Pale King is pretty great for aspiring writer-ish types (me) on the merits of its sentence construction alone.

0 |
April 22, 2013 on Slaughterhouse 90210: Special Media Commentary Edition

For some reason this post’s accompanying picture made me laugh harder than I’ve ever laughed at Wahlberg. You might have just proven his point, Gabe.

+9 |
April 22, 2013 on Mark Wahlberg Is One Of The Two Types Of Comedians, Says Mark Wahlberg

In other Bookgum-ish news, I just (as in 2 minutes ago) finished DFW’s Oblivion. Woof. (That’s a positive woof, as in, “Woof, that was SOMETHING. How does he do it?”)

+1 |
April 22, 2013 on Slaughterhouse 90210: Special Media Commentary Edition

As a devoted acolyte of both these human people, I do not know how I was unaware of this. Sincere thanks.

+1 |
April 22, 2013 on Slaughterhouse 90210: Special Media Commentary Edition

I’m curious about the Frasier tag. Was there a Frasier think piece written recently? I ask because I’ve been re-watching Frasier, and loving every minute with that damn crew.

0 |
March 21, 2013 on A Think Piece About Think Pieces

You’ve truly gone off the deep end, Walter.

+10 |
January 19, 2013 on Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

Also, does vgum tell anyone else that they don’t exist, a la:


?

+5 |
January 15, 2013 on The Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It Contest: Astronaut Clipping His Fingernails

Hey, that’s almost the same way I clip my nails! Except I use a month-old pizza box instead of an air vent, and I live in a studio apartment instead of a spaceship.

+4 |
January 15, 2013 on The Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It Contest: Astronaut Clipping His Fingernails

YOU’RE ONTO ME. GET OUT OF MY HEAD. THIS OUGHTA HOLD YOU OFF FOR A WHILE.

Crunch(Chuck)berry

+13 |
December 14, 2012 on Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

I suggest everyone listen to this:
http://www.kqed.org/arts/programs/writersblock/episode.jsp?essid=19147

George knows best.

+6 |
December 14, 2012 on Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments


You got a stagecoach to catch or somethin? Slow the fuck up.

+6 |
November 30, 2012 on This Week In Comedy Open Thread

Aidan Knight — Small Reveal

0 |
November 21, 2012 on The 2012 Gummy Awards: Vote Now And Enter To Win An iPad With Retina Display

This date is worth the wait:

+4 |
November 8, 2012 on How Was Everyone’s Day Today?

My roommate’s mom is taking us out to dinner tonight. Fingers crossed for Applebee’s.

+23 |
November 8, 2012 on How Was Everyone’s Day Today?

Those harmonies ruined an otherwise passable song.

-4 |
November 1, 2012 on Vampire Weekend Debut New Song “Unbelievers” On Kimmel

Return of the Jedi — A statue is stolen from a large worm, who is later choked to death by a stripper. A bounty hunter falls into a sandy vagina monster. Small bears kill countless men. A religious zealot and his father team up to throw an old man down a well. Ghosts smile as they watch everyone dance.

+8 |
October 26, 2012 on This Is Always A Fun Game

— Newman loses Dodgson’s shaving cream in some mud.

+4 |
October 26, 2012 on This Is Always A Fun Game

The Wrestler — A wrestler wrestles.

+28 |
October 26, 2012 on This Is Always A Fun Game