Comments from Darren87

Terrence Howard is crying tears...of joy.
+26 |
June 30, 2009 on Make Your Ordinary Toilet Paper Extraordinary, And Slightly Damp
This song sounds like it was made for a lot of radio play. This is why I don't listen to the radio at all.
+12 |
June 29, 2009 on Leighton Meester’s Non-Sex Tape Equally Embarrassing
Of my many complaints with this show possibly the biggest is that people are like "Oh, these vampires are so sexy!" when no they are not. They are awful. They rip people apart with bare hands and feel no remorse. They have weird secret tribunals where they force people to kill teenage girls. They are sociopaths and I have learned the hard way (or maybe I just learned through common sense) that sociopaths are not sexy.
0 |
June 22, 2009 on True Blood: Vampires Be Shoppin’!
Let's see...what happened in 1981. Well, there was - nope, not born.
+10 |
June 16, 2009 on Andy Rooney Accidentally Plagiarizes 1981 SNL Parody Of Himself
When I'm old I plan on being drunk all day. This is what I like to imagine is up with Andy Rooney.
+15 |
June 15, 2009 on Andy Rooney Accidentally Plagiarizes 1981 SNL Parody Of Himself
Why does it have too look so much like what I imagine a vagina to look like?
+6 |
June 15, 2009 on That’s Your Chair: The Divided Salli Saddle Chair Seat
I wasn't expecting a weepy drama. It has "Time Travel" in the title!
+4 |
June 15, 2009 on The Time Traveler’s Wife Trailer Gives A Lot Away
True Blood is a terrible television show. It is the television equivalent what would happen if Stephanie Meyer and Hitler had a child who became a television writer and then got both Michael Bay to produce and Ewe Boll to direct. But now I remember why I watch it.
-8 |
June 15, 2009 on True Blood: Welcome Back To The Worst Show On Television
I would like to thank the academy, my parents, and all you that made comments that were less pithy than mine (but not those of you that made comments more pithy than mine) and I would be remiss to not thank Marty (ie: Scorsese) for just giving a guy a chance.
+3 |
June 13, 2009 on Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments
Sir Darren Harper, Esq., Earl of Essex, Duke of Dorset, Second Viscount of Pretentionland
+7 |
June 11, 2009 on What Is Your Gwyneth Paltrow Name?
I never thought I'd have the opportunity to say this: but this both sucks and blows at the same time.
+13 |
June 9, 2009 on The Cleveland Show Is Going To Be Even Worse Than We Thought!
Obviously this takes place in the same universe as The Last Action Hero.
+1 |
June 8, 2009 on That’s Your Lawyer: Berger And Green
Aww, it's "Radio" in Tiger form!
+9 |
June 8, 2009 on The New Baby White Tiger Is…Um…Special
Um, this weekend my friends and I are getting UK drunk!
+26 |
June 8, 2009 on UK Anti-Binge Drinking PSA Tells Us More Than We Really Want To Know About Brits
I blam the fact that I heard a lot about this movie but had no idea that it came out last weekend. I saw a lot of advertisements for it but it seems none of them focused saying: "Hey, this movie comes out June 5th!"
+1 |
June 8, 2009 on Duh Aficionado Magazine: Land Of The Lost Bombed
If this wasn't the interwebs I would begin clapping slowly as fellow member of the audience began to join into what would become raucous applause. Oh, well.
+13 |
June 5, 2009 on Goodbye To All Of That
I didn't like this back in 2000 when this was called Crazy Town and I still don't.
+70 |
June 5, 2009 on Brokencyde’s New Music Video Makes Me Want To Die (Of Old Age, Apparently)
Until Smell-o-vision is created I will fail to see the point in perfume commercials. PLEASE, tell me we'll soon have Smell-o-vision. I'd rather live to see that as opposed to flying cars!
+5 |
June 3, 2009 on When My Man Puts On His Stratos, I Know He’s Into Something Ewwwww
Fat chick displaying typical fat chick behavior. Wake me when there's a story (I'm a douchebag displaying typical douchebag behavior).
+23 |
June 3, 2009 on Kirstie Alley To Legally Change Her Name To “Nom Nom Nom”
He is really good though! But still pants are pants and whether you're going outside or letting people outside see what you have on inside pants must be worn.
+5 |
June 1, 2009 on That’s Your Boyfriend: Guy Sings Lovely Song Well, In Camel Toe Silk Boxers
I think I'll continue to not give a shit.
+11 |
June 1, 2009 on Twilight: New Moon Trailer Reminds Us That Teenagers Are Ridiculous
So that's Pakistani for "all I wanna know...where the gold at?"
+3 |
June 1, 2009 on Tiny Alien Found In Pakistan Is Probably Barbie
The first thing that comes out of her mouth in the trailer is already untrue. I do not see her as a "Barbie with a perfect life, whatever." I see her as a completely useless human being who should be ashamed that people (myself included) even give her the time of day, whatever.
+12 |
May 18, 2009 on Paris Hilton, Like, Has Feelings Too, Or Whatever
I thought the 'Funeral' sketch was pretty funny. By the time Mya Rudolph came on singing about nachos to the tune of Amazing Grace I began to wonder if someone had secretly drugged me.
+9 |
May 18, 2009 on SNL Just The Funny Parts: Hey, It’s Everybody!
How about Jenna getting ambushed by her half-sister on Vontella. And then ambushing her half-sister on Vontella. How do they come up with this stuff?
0 |
May 15, 2009 on Last Night’s Star-Studded 30 Rock Kidney Benefit Song
The shot of Juliette looking at the sub re-submerging in the first part mad me go "WHY DID YOU GET OFF THE SUB?" I just knew she was going to die then. Must it always be my favorite characters that are killed. I think Kate will be my favorite character next year if that is in fact the case.
+7 |
May 14, 2009 on Lost: Season Finale
Not as bad as Gabe going to the Today show; but still quite humiliating.
+7 |
May 13, 2009 on Double Dog: I Took A TV Bus Tour Alone In A “Just Jack” Tshirt
LOVE! This is the first time I have watched a full minute of He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named's show in about six years; glad to know it hasn't changed (ie: sad to know it's still being aired).
+11 |
May 12, 2009 on Janeane Garofalo Ambushes Bill O’Reilly’s Ambusher