Dick Lightning

Comments from Dick Lightning

That is far and away the best song Hoobastank has ever recorded.
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October 31, 2011 on The Top 5 Covers Of The Ghostbusters Theme Song
How much extra weight, exactly? Enough to disregard the Ten Commandments? I'm confused.
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September 8, 2011 on Rick Perry Killed 234 People (APPLAUSE BREAK)
Yeah, I mean one of the ten commandments is not to kill people, but there are lots of other places in the Bible that say TO kill people, so I could see how there's some confusion there.
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September 8, 2011 on Rick Perry Killed 234 People (APPLAUSE BREAK)
Kindergarten teachers must be so frustrated these days having to tell their students over and over to put away their iPhones.
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September 8, 2011 on Today Is The First Day Of School, Kid!
So the president of Italy turned to me and said, Requiem for a Dream? More like Requiem for a Diaper, you incontinent asshole! So anyway, I definitely did piss myself, but again, new seats. Alright you all take care of yourselves!
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September 1, 2011 on Darren Aronofsky’s Pee Material Needs Workshopping
People don't seem to understand that their ironic viewing of something isn't represented in the ratings, and just translates into actual ratings.
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August 30, 2011 on Everyone In The World Watched The VMAs
Did you hear what Katie Holmes said about reading the script for her new movie, Don’t Be Afraid Of the Dark? She said it was so scary, she would wake up at three in the morning thinking someone was there. Turns out it was just Tom Cruise practicing his Uncle Sam on Stilts gag like he does every night.
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August 26, 2011 on Late-Night-Talk-Show-Host Jokes About Katie Holmes’ Charlie Rose Interview
That must have taken at least three of those Lego buckets to build.
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June 23, 2011 on Good Morning Lego Prank!
Wet Naps' stock is plummeting! Sell! Sell!
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June 14, 2011 on Ketchup Moving Machine Has Finally Been Invented
The plastic covering leads me to believe Bakebot actually used to be worse at this.
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June 13, 2011 on OK, THIS TIME THE ROBOT UPRISING HAS DEFINITELY BEGUN PROBABLY FOR SURE
Walking around and going about your usual business is the new flash mob.
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June 8, 2011 on R.I.P. Meredith Vieira And The End Of Flash Mobs
Come on, guys. Those glasses, and that ponytail! No way could she be prom queen. Aw, she's got paint stains on her overalls!
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June 8, 2011 on That’s Your 13-Year-Old: Katy Perry
3 pm: Glenn Beck Live Webcast 5 pm: Triumph of the Will 7 pm: Special Encore Presentation of Triumph of the Will 9 pm: The Smurfs Marathon
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June 7, 2011 on Glenn Beck Is Just A Vlogger Now
In light of all this new controversy, I don't see how the Smurfs movie doesn't get a Best Picture nod.
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June 7, 2011 on The Smurfs Are Racist And Anti-Semitic, Claims This Dude
Katie-pie's Cutsie Doopsie Cat Videos and Other Crap
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June 6, 2011 on What Should Katie Couric’s New Talk Show Be Called?
I had my cursor hovering over the pause button in case he said: "But enough talk, let me show you the goods."
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June 6, 2011 on Zachary Briggs IS Available For Your Porn Movie
I wonder if Hollywood has the balls to show the part where the vampire baby bursts out of Kristen Stewart's stomach.
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June 6, 2011 on Teen Korner: OZMFZMZMFG TWILIGHT BREAKING DAWN TRAILER U GUYZZZ
Pretty sure this a photo of a dog food factory someone took by accident with their phone in 2005.
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June 2, 2011 on The Worst Behind The Scenes Movie Set Photo Of All Time
With their debut album: Sim City 3000.
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June 2, 2011 on Design The Skyline Is YOUR Generation’s Brokencyde
They look more like Muppets to me.
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June 2, 2011 on Design The Skyline Is YOUR Generation’s Brokencyde
Strong, but lacking the emotional complexity and wry wit that endeared me to his earlier pieces. Minor Chet Haze.
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June 2, 2011 on NEW CHET HAZE TRACK, KID!
Can't wait to see what the Navy's animation team comes up with.
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May 26, 2011 on UPDATE: Disney Withdraws Application To Trademark “Seal Team 6″
Spreadator Grape Jam I Hope They Preserves Beer in Hell (oof)
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May 25, 2011 on Is Vin Diesel A Slice Of Toast?
Here in the Midwest, my friends and I all agree that Vin Diesel is one hot slice of ass.
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May 25, 2011 on Is Vin Diesel A Slice Of Toast?
I did like him in Saving Private Rye-an.
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May 25, 2011 on Is Vin Diesel A Slice Of Toast?
Booty Booty Booty Booty Rocking Everywhere: A Novel.
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May 25, 2011 on Videogum Everywhere Mission: Let’s Name The Kardashians’ New Book
Director: "We need some sort of lid for this perfume bottle." Justin Bieber: "Here's a toy I accidentally stepped on from the Happy Meal I ate on the way to the shoot."
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May 24, 2011 on Teen Korner: Justin Bieber’s Perfume Commercial OZMZGZ!
Looking forward to seeing clips of this on Everything is Terrible in 20 years.
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May 24, 2011 on Mark Burnett Making A Reality Show About The Bible, Basically
Note: Oprah died on her way back to her home planet.
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May 18, 2011 on Oprah Has Taped Her Final Show!
If they'd used a bright, colorful and unique version of traditional animation instead of this gloomy and soulless CGI, wouldn't it be more popular with critics and people in general? Since everybody is doing this shitty CGI now, it seems like going against that would make it stand out so much more. Or maybe I'm really old and should just die so kids can enjoy the Polar Express-ification of all movies.
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May 17, 2011 on The Adventures Of Tintin Trailer, You Guys