Dick Lightning

Comments from dicklightning

That is far and away the best song Hoobastank has ever recorded.

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October 31, 2011 on The Top 5 Covers Of The Ghostbusters Theme Song

How much extra weight, exactly? Enough to disregard the Ten Commandments? I’m confused.

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September 8, 2011 on Rick Perry Killed 234 People (APPLAUSE BREAK)

Yeah, I mean one of the ten commandments is not to kill people, but there are lots of other places in the Bible that say TO kill people, so I could see how there’s some confusion there.

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September 8, 2011 on Rick Perry Killed 234 People (APPLAUSE BREAK)

Kindergarten teachers must be so frustrated these days having to tell their students over and over to put away their iPhones.

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September 8, 2011 on Today Is The First Day Of School, Kid!

So the president of Italy turned to me and said, Requiem for a Dream? More like Requiem for a Diaper, you incontinent asshole! So anyway, I definitely did piss myself, but again, new seats. Alright you all take care of yourselves!

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September 1, 2011 on Darren Aronofsky’s Pee Material Needs Workshopping

People don’t seem to understand that their ironic viewing of something isn’t represented in the ratings, and just translates into actual ratings.

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August 30, 2011 on Everyone In The World Watched The VMAs

Did you hear what Katie Holmes said about reading the script for her new movie, Don’t Be Afraid Of the Dark? She said it was so scary, she would wake up at three in the morning thinking someone was there. Turns out it was just Tom Cruise practicing his Uncle Sam on Stilts gag like he does every night.

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August 26, 2011 on Late-Night-Talk-Show-Host Jokes About Katie Holmes’ Charlie Rose Interview

That must have taken at least three of those Lego buckets to build.

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June 23, 2011 on Good Morning Lego Prank!

Wet Naps’ stock is plummeting! Sell! Sell!

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June 14, 2011 on Ketchup Moving Machine Has Finally Been Invented

The plastic covering leads me to believe Bakebot actually used to be worse at this.

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June 13, 2011 on OK, THIS TIME THE ROBOT UPRISING HAS DEFINITELY BEGUN PROBABLY FOR SURE

Walking around and going about your usual business is the new flash mob.

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June 8, 2011 on R.I.P. Meredith Vieira And The End Of Flash Mobs

Come on, guys. Those glasses, and that ponytail! No way could she be prom queen. Aw, she’s got paint stains on her overalls!

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June 8, 2011 on That’s Your 13-Year-Old: Katy Perry

3 pm: Glenn Beck Live Webcast
5 pm: Triumph of the Will
7 pm: Special Encore Presentation of Triumph of the Will
9 pm: The Smurfs Marathon

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June 7, 2011 on Glenn Beck Is Just A Vlogger Now

In light of all this new controversy, I don’t see how the Smurfs movie doesn’t get a Best Picture nod.

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June 7, 2011 on The Smurfs Are Racist And Anti-Semitic, Claims This Dude

Katie-pie’s Cutsie Doopsie Cat Videos and Other Crap

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June 6, 2011 on What Should Katie Couric’s New Talk Show Be Called?

I had my cursor hovering over the pause button in case he said: “But enough talk, let me show you the goods.”

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June 6, 2011 on Zachary Briggs IS Available For Your Porn Movie

I wonder if Hollywood has the balls to show the part where the vampire baby bursts out of Kristen Stewart’s stomach.

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June 6, 2011 on Teen Korner: OZMFZMZMFG TWILIGHT BREAKING DAWN TRAILER U GUYZZZ

Pretty sure this a photo of a dog food factory someone took by accident with their phone in 2005.

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June 2, 2011 on The Worst Behind The Scenes Movie Set Photo Of All Time

With their debut album: Sim City 3000.

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June 2, 2011 on Design The Skyline Is YOUR Generation’s Brokencyde

They look more like Muppets to me.

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June 2, 2011 on Design The Skyline Is YOUR Generation’s Brokencyde