Douche Juice

Comments from Douche Juice

this video has inspired me to enlist in the army that fights the war on christmas
+13 |
December 20, 2011 on Merry Christmas From Courtney Stodden
i am all for making fun of arnold shwarzenTL-DR, but really all i want to know today is when are we going to celebrate the cancellation of Outsourced? Can we make this the focal point of an already pared down Thursday Night TV Open Thread? PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE?
+4 |
May 20, 2011 on Arnold Schwarzenegger Can No Longer Be Considered A True Artist
having a random friday off and getting to watch the gifs of the of thursday tv open thread as they are posted is the first time i've been truly happy in like a month. thanks, monsters.
+13 |
May 13, 2011 on Thursday Night TV Open Thread: Also A Group Discussion About Spoilers
Okay, so everyone here makes salient points about how much both these fuckbuddy movies are going to probably suck, but i have a whole other question: is this a thing that is happening right now? are there really 20somethings who are just so uber-successful in their career jobs that they don't have time to date AT ALL but they are so attractive and have so many equally attractive, unattached, unlucky in love and too busy to start a new relationship friends that they just start fucking until they eventually fall in love? like i know that this is hollywood so y'know, suspension of disbelieve (MEDIA STUDIES) and all, but seriously, hollywood? Everyone who ever went to college for even a semester knows that these types of arrangements end really really badly because they are the product of two horrible as-yet-unformed post-adolescent skinbags of human waste trying to use each other until the horribly awkward "going to buy plan b" trip that finally mercy kills their pseudo relationship (and their possibly trying to form baby, if you are pro-life like that). I guess what i am saying is that it boggles my mind that this might be a "thing" that people in hollywood think is happening (and might actually be happening? I don't know i live in the woods) enough to make TWO different movies about it. also i would like to nominate Sucker Punch for WMOAT, with a stop-motion super close-up of a bullet. that is all.
+16 |
March 28, 2011 on Friends With Benefits Trailer, You Guys
Dude M.I.A. has fallen on seriously hard times.
+13 |
March 22, 2011 on The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Chet Haze Ironing
so late to this party but i just want to say first of all i hate this movie so much, and i have been looking forward to this review for awhile. I am so glad this piece of total awful garbage is so high on the WMOAT leaderboard. however, this review did not tackle my major issue with the film which is that at one point a young man in his early 20s tells his father "it's going to be okay" or whatever he says in that chest-touching scene. to recap, this father is a man who has lived his whole life and lost the love of his whole life and also had a real career that he used to support his family and buy a house and pay a mortgage and probably save for zach braff's stupid face's college tuition, among other adult whole long life things that people do. Zach Braff is a fucking idiot kid. His father should have smacked zach braff's stupid petulant face right off when he heard that fucking nonsense. i just needed to add that/vent about my least favorite part of probably my least favorite movie of all time.
+13 |
March 21, 2011 on The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Garden State
on the most recent episode of the ricky gervais show on hbo, they actually used the word lorry and i was like "Oh THAT'S what it means." #unculturedmonster
+4 |
March 7, 2011 on Daniel Craig Wears A Dress For Womyn’s Rights
USA Today! The coloring book of newspapers!
+6 |
March 3, 2011 on Marcel The Shell With Shoes On: The Book
are they both also on friendster? what year is it? i'm so confused
+5 |
March 1, 2011 on The Evolution Of Jay-Z’s Style
50 cent has a livejournal? wtf
+5 |
March 1, 2011 on The Evolution Of Jay-Z’s Style
"Every great movement begins with one man and I guess that's me." - Charlie Sheen
+11 |
March 1, 2011 on Charlie Sheen At Least Sane Enough To Backpedal (A Little)
for 9/11 i was living in downtown l.a. and nobody had a fucking clue what was happening and since everyone in l.a. thinks the world revolves around them, we all thought we were gonna be next to be attacked. so then my roommates and i went to my dealer's house, and he had made the most potent brownies i have ever eaten. We each ate one then went home and got super high and watched the news. at some point, one of my roommates just said, out of nowhere "we're gonna go to war with iraq now, just watch." then i ate an entire box of mac&cheese all by myself. in my asshole 9/11 story, i am the asshole. also my friends were assholes too. college students are the worst (sorry college students).
+22 |
February 28, 2011 on The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Remember Me
Okay, I know this is funny, but in a way it is not so funny because Charlie Sheen is basically riding the cocaine train to death town. And when I think about it like that, the fact that he is a grown up adult man saying these ridiculous things is less funny and more really scary. Also, it is amazing that someone can just speak publicly about loving illegal drugs, and this does not lead to any sort of police involvement. Charlie Sheen allegedly carries around a briefcase full of cocaine drugs for himself and his hooker ladies. Can the LAPD not catch Mr. Sheen with his cokecase and throw him in at least rehab? Are they even interested in trying to do their jobs? And if they aren't, can we really blame Charlie Sheen for being completely balls crazy? If i lived my entire life above the law with tons of money and no negative consequences for my actions, I would probably think i was WINNING all the time as well. But when he finally dies later this year, can we all at least agree to leave him off the Oscars "In Memoriam" video, a la Corey Haim?
+12 |
February 28, 2011 on More Charlie Sheen? Answering READERS’ QUESTIONS? Yes, Please!
Love them both, but lately Community has better .gifs, while Parks & Rec has better jokes.
+11 |
February 25, 2011 on Thursday Night TV Open Thread
Not that it matters or anything, but what are the odds these kids AREN'T homeschooled?
+8 |
February 22, 2011 on “Come Sail Away” With Lexy And Stephany
there are not enough upvotes in the world for this gif. concert addict, you are my favorite monster.
+10 |
February 18, 2011 on Thursday Night TV Open Thread
wow i didn't notice this the first time i watched. that is weird.
+2 |
February 7, 2011 on Saturday Night Live: Dana Carvey And Linkin Park