You know that guy who gets offended and walks out toward the beginning of every episode? I think that is a pretty good gag so I take his cue and turn off the TV.
"I'd eat it." TW27YOAWAEDB2SOBSTICAASS
(That's what 27 year old adult who also eats doritos between 2 slices of Butternut, seriously try it, Caseanate and also she said.)
My friend told me earlier that the "old lady from Titanic" died and I assumed she meant at the end of the movie I just watched yesterday.
It was like the time my roommate told me that Ricky Martin came out and I assumed they were hinting at some CD they wanted for Christmas.
You just take your newborn baby and your newborn bang-daddy to Reno for three months, establish residency, and we'll tell you when it's time to crack open the champagne.
It works out best if we don't actually watch it together. Although when my parents do bring up the dirty parts, they use hilarious old timey expressions that are basically period-relevant.
"Didn't the dreamboat get in trouble for making time with his secretary?" -my Mom
"He's Don Draper. He finds the talent and he makes whoopie with it." -my Dad
My dad texted me during the show last night to say that "I would have my secretary do it, but she's dead" made him laugh almost as much as "Can you tell Ray Charles to clean this up?" from last week and suddenly I wanted to drive the three hours to my parents house and fall at their feet thanking them for not being Don and Betty. And then make them rum french toast.
Next time someone makes the boring comment "I wonder what happened to Kel of Kenan and Kel" I'm going to refer them to this video and say five hundred godamn Goodburgers happened to him and he really needs to get off the orange soda.
And my Fellowship of The ring Blu-ray disc, The Two Towers Blu-ray disc, The Return of the King Blu-ray disc, two bookmarks, New Zealand Jade Necklace, navy blue ornament, deck of LOTR playing cards, travel candle, and one poster.
Matthew Weinermobile was Jon Cryer-style robbed of the Smuggest Bitch in the World prize after airing his awards episode opposite the Emmies while also winning all of the Emmies.
That is why I love Mad Men. I was cringing and waiting for Sterling to be like "this is ad is a piece of shit but cute model". But Mad Men trusts that we can see Betty for ourselves. (Sidenote: some people can't see for themselves, which is why I've never thought that "Legally Blonde" was a very funny play on words.)
The terror on Don's face when that bang-waitress said "third order of french fries".
"I am going to have to bang four more bang-waitresses just to burn those off." - Don Draper
I really want this to happen on Ghost Hunters.
I mean if the ghosts found the camera and put their fingers all over it, except instead of monkey dirt they would leave behind like glow in the dark ectoplasm. Still dirty, though.
What A NightmareJack And Jill