Lauren Matson

Comments from Lauren Matson

I thought this post was going to explain Rob Lowe's gross existence on Parks and Recreation. I'm sorry, I just don't understand why he's there? :/
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October 12, 2011 on Rob Lowe’s Parks & Recreation Gross Hair Mystery: SOLVED!
I woke up this morning to a thud, and realized my phone had fallen off the shelf onto the floor. I picked it up and saw that I had gotten this email. Basically, it made my phone try and commit suicide.
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September 19, 2011 on Wait, What Is Happening With Netflix?
Tyrannosaur: "Without doubt one of the films of the year." Hmm . . .
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August 26, 2011 on This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys
"There is definitely a rapist in Lincoln Bark." No? Puns not funny enough for you? Then... "I am not a bitch. I am you." A pun inside a crossover meme. You've been inceptioned.
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October 26, 2010 on The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Antoine Dogson
http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lalqh2e9OP1qzrcsco1_500.jpg
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October 21, 2010 on This Drive Thru Law Office Is Real
Maybe it's my speakers, but I'm pretty sure it was narrated by this guy: http://www.urlesque.com/media/2008/11/droopy-dog.jpg
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October 13, 2010 on Christine O’Donnell References “Bed Intruder Song” In Latest Political Ad
Yes, I completely agree. This show would be so much better without a thirteen year old telling me how what I'm watching is funny. I mentally erased the v/o while watching this week, and I had way more lulz.
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October 8, 2010 on Thursday Night TV Open Thread: Rhubarb Rhubarb Peas And Carrots Rhubarb
I am from Wisconsin, and I am offended. But it's ok, because I put a picture of this show in my wallet.
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September 24, 2010 on Dear Outsourced, Please Kill Yourself
I'm pretty sure this is what I sound like on job interviews, and this is why I still don't have a job. (Hire me?)
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September 20, 2010 on Katy Perry Is Just VERY Good At Talking Like A Normal, Reasonably Intelligent Human Being
Oh man, I don't care if it's basically one of Family Guy's favorite gags. Don and Ken Cosgrove trying to conduct a meeting with Pete Campbell cleaning up Miss Blankenship in the background was the best thing everrrrrrrrr. I'm going back to staring at that gif for the rest of the day.
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September 20, 2010 on Mad Men S04E09: Looking Good, Ladies!
I'm also pretty sure they thought they were giving the award to Kenny.
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September 16, 2010 on Top Chef S07E13: Boring Season Ends Boringly
These judges are all obviously drunk and meant to award the title of Top Chef to the OTHER husky bearded fellow named Kevin. http://beardporn.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/0000058809_20090715134219-474x633.jpg
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September 16, 2010 on Top Chef S07E13: Boring Season Ends Boringly
Can we please stop using the words "gay" to refer to homosexuals, and "retard" to refer to the mentally handicapped? I ask this not because I am offended, but because I really want what this guy is to be a "gay retard" and not have it offend anybody. I want the words "gay" and "retard" to refer to people (of any sexuality or mental capacity) like this guy, and not be derogatory to anyone else. Just this guy. Also, have we settled on a name for a man slut yet, because SO MANY HICKIES.
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September 14, 2010 on Ginger Kid Dresses Like The Mad Hatter And Plans A Rap Video
The only reason you watch Iron Chef is because of the DRAMA. That, and Mario Batali dripping sweat all over some otherwise delicious looking Italian food.
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July 30, 2010 on Iron Chef Secret Ingredient Supercut
"What is that red light pointing at me from inside the bushes?"
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July 15, 2010 on Teenage Boy In Town
I like that Mel Gibson is so method, that even his racist, misogynistic rants are Australian accent free.
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July 12, 2010 on Audio Of Mel Gibson’s Racist Rant Available For People Who May Have Been On The Fence With The Whole “Mel Gibson Is A Nightmare” Thing
This is obviously a sequel to The Room. SPOILER ALERT.
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July 9, 2010 on Tommy Wiseau Continues To Be A Complete Lunatic In The House That Drips Blood On Alex
Gone With The Fireworks (My Fingers Are)
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July 1, 2010 on Best New Party Game 27: Patriotic Movies
In the Broadway race for my heart, Hugh Jackman is number one, and Kristin Chenoweth is number two.
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June 28, 2010 on Kristin Chenoweth Let The Actress In Her Take Over!
This is the new thing I'm going to post on peoples' walls when Facebook has just reminded me it's their birthday.
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June 28, 2010 on Old Man Dances To Lady Gaga To Teach Us All About Life
What? This has. . . I . . . well, frankly I'm just disappointed and didn't log in to find some ambitious whippersnapper had gone and made one.
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June 28, 2010 on In Defense Of Jason Bateman
I don't know how to make photoshopped images/gifs of things, but if I did, right here I would put a gif of Jason Bateman with his head down while the Charlie Brown song played, and you would all give me about +7 upvotes for the Arrested Development reference.
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June 25, 2010 on In Defense Of Jason Bateman
Shh, Gabe. Don't fight it. Just accept that this is going to happen.
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June 22, 2010 on America’s Sweetheart, Zach Anner, Continues To Want A TV Show
Oh man, so after that comment I felt the urge to listen to that Kid A cover on my iTunes, which for the record is the only John Mayer thing on my iTunes. So I did, and do you know what came on right afterwards? The JAWS theme song. This actually happened.
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June 14, 2010 on The Internet Finds Its Newest “Hero” In Zach Anner
I seriously can't get my password to change from that impossible-to-remember default one so that I can log on from different computers or browsers, so I give up. Screw anonymity. Here I am world! John Mayer convinced me to be who I really am/shoot for the stars/shoot him in the face. Seriously John Mayer, thanks but no thanks. This guy can make it on his own. He doesn't need any John Mayers riding his coattails to good publicity. I hate you so much John Mayer. However, your cover of Kid A is still pretty good.
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June 14, 2010 on The Internet Finds Its Newest “Hero” In Zach Anner
Mad Men/Community crossover? More please!
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March 5, 2010 on Thursday Night TV Open Thread
She's probably confused because in England they don't sleep, they go, "Jolly good, pip pip, tally ho!"
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March 4, 2010 on Gwyneth Paltrow Has Just Discovered Sleep. Neat!