Boris Gruschenko

living in burlington, vermont watching america's best dance crew and reading harry potter.

Comments from graaaaaaaaace

which creepy guy? there are so many of them in btv. have we had this conversation before? now i’m so curious!!

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December 4, 2013 on No One Wants To Have A Pillow Fight With You On The Street

i never realized how badly i need more voyage of the mimi references in my life. that shit is where i learned about phantom pains! remember that girl and her amputated leg?? and then in 6th grade the mimi came and docked in my town and all us girls were going BUCKWILD trying to sit on ben affleck’s bunk. (which is sexy, nautical slang for “bed”).

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August 23, 2013 on Congratulations To Ben Affleck, Our New Mr. Batman!

i am a brunette lady (FELLAS) whose father taught her to judge people based on their handshake. consequently my handshakes do NOT fuck around, and i often surprise men with my powerful, respect-demanding hand.

there is nothing worse than shaking hands with a man who gives you the little limp fish handshake because he thinks that women can’t handle the power of a firm grip. go for it, men, we can take it.

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May 23, 2013 on How To Succeed With Brunettes

i feel like i’ve been waiting my whole life to tell this tale. thanks so much for the outlet, kelly, you are a true jennifer lawrence.

when i was 9 i had a dream that i met sinbad in a park and we were on the jungle gym together and i took his picture because i knew that nobody would ever believe that i was hanging out with sinbad. and when i woke up in the morning i was SO depressed that it never happened and i had no photographic evidence of hanging out with sinbad, and i probably still haven’t gotten over that disappointment, and i strongly believe it’s shaped me into the person i am today. and i never told anybody about it, because, really, my subconscious? is sinbad the BEST you could drum up?? especially at the height of hanson-mania?? come on.

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May 3, 2013 on What Is Your Most Embarrassing Celebrity Dream?

I work for the symphony in vermont and i have to admit i really kind of love it when somebody shows up in flannel, jeans, and boots (and, this being vermont, that happens frequently.) usually everybody is dressed pretty upscale to our concerts, but it’s the best when there’s some lady all decked out in her fanciest diamonds and her floor length mink, sitting right next to some guy who looks and smells like he literally just climbed off his tractor. WE’RE ALL JUST PEOPLE TRYING TO GET ALONG IN THIS CRAZY WORLD, AND ALSO MAYBE LISTEN TO SOME ELGAR AFTER A LONG DAY OF PLOWING WHEAT or whatever.

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April 23, 2013 on You Can Just Do Whatever You Want

geeze, i guess i’m really getting the most out of “of whom you speak” in my interactions today.

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April 22, 2013 on Reason Not To Be Famous #889: Oh, Reese Edition

i know exactly the person of whom you speak and he used to be a borders regular and would just buy coffee and scowl at people. charming gent.

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April 22, 2013 on Reason Not To Be Famous #889: Oh, Reese Edition

as a fellow burlingtonion/worker-bee on church street, i am sooooo curious to know the identity of the troll of whom you speak. a description is required immediately, please.

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April 22, 2013 on Reason Not To Be Famous #889: Oh, Reese Edition

I am currently having my own neighbor feud (they have so much loud sex, all of the sex, all of the noises, all of the time), and this morning my weapon of choice was playing the original soundtrack to Annie (pro tip: all of the songs can be easily found on YouTube or Spotify) at top volume through the wall. Nothing will temper boundless sexual energy like the shrill singing voices of children, and I’m assuming this will also work on weeknight parties. Go forth and conquer!

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April 12, 2013 on How Was Everyone’s Day Today?

oh my co-worker has told me great thinks about sukhothai but ain’t nobody got time to go to essex when tiny thai is mere yards away from my apartment.

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February 1, 2013 on If It Was Not Friday, I Would Recommend We Give Up

which one? was it tiny thai i love tiny thai so much love is forever fan i love you

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February 1, 2013 on If It Was Not Friday, I Would Recommend We Give Up

My heroic efforts to mobilize my co-workers to go home early (in the face of the blue skies and calm winds that Vermont is currently experiencing) failed. I will be going home at 5:00, as usual. Pray for me.

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October 29, 2012 on Anything Going On Today, Guys?

are you in the burlington area? we probably won’t be hit until after 4 or 5, but i’m spreading misinformation around the office in an effort to go home an hour early. that would be the sweetest triumph of all. i’ll keep you updated.

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October 29, 2012 on A Man Dancing, To Ease The Fear

i was wondering that, myself! i almost googled “sidney applebaum” to see if it could’ve been a reference to anything else, but i didn’t care enough. but i DID care enough to post this meaningless comment, so who even knows anymore. mondays, am i right?

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October 22, 2012 on Saturday Night Live: Bruno Mars (And Tom Hanks)

ps- i hope you are out and enjoying the fantastic weather today. i work on church st and it is BUMPIN’.

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May 11, 2012 on That’s Your Hate-Filled Nonsense Garbage Ranting Girlfriend

who on earth is your landlord? i’ve had a few during my time here in burlington, and none of them every made me ice cream. one of the pervier ones used to just come in our house unannounced to “check the windows” during summer months, but that’s not even remotely close to bacon and whiskey. what’s your secret???? #vermonstersunite!

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May 11, 2012 on That’s Your Hate-Filled Nonsense Garbage Ranting Girlfriend

buddy garrity + heapin’ dose of hamm + zou bisou bisou + roadhouse x perd hapley = a pretty great thursday night.

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April 27, 2012 on Thursday Night TV Open Thread

other perks of going to the movies alone: you might get offered a doobie by some random dude, and then later you can give him a handjob.

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April 26, 2012 on Tips For Solo Dining

@Kate Schmidt young padawan, the secret is laying it flat next to your plate, and using your cell-phone to keep those pesky pages in check.

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April 26, 2012 on Tips For Solo Dining

high-five for anti-social eaters!

there is no better dining experience than sitting solo in a mexican restaurant eating tacos and drinking beer while reading your way through the “song of ice and fire” series. “Salsa is Coming,” amiright?

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April 26, 2012 on Tips For Solo Dining