Comments

I don't understand what you mean by "solipsistic pedant." As I recall, that theme of that movie didn't have anything to do with solipsism.
It was actually KELLY who reminded you of how crappy your life is.
That was Gabe who told demonkitty to "please feel free to give me a C-...." Goddamnit, pay attention, people.
Yeah, man, but DVDs look like shit on my 50" plasma. However... If I can find a away to transfer my twenty year old Star Wars VHS tapes displayed in 4:3 aspect ratio to Blu-Ray, that would solve all the problems. If I did that, and told the world how to do it, no one would have any reason to be mad at George Lucas!!!!
You don't think it's a big deal that he's leading children directly into the hands of Satan? What the fuck is the matter with you, psycho!!?? Haha, just kidding.
Those chimp penises are funny looking.
Why did someone downvote you for this? It is sad, but true.
This reminds me of a funny old SNL sketch with Harry Shearer. It was a fake TV show called Fecal Matters, hosted by John Fecal. The topic of discussion, coincidentally, was always fecal matter.
Right! If it were me, those clothes would be draped safely in the bathtub. Is this guy planning on touching that bed or the TV or the dress of drawers during his stay in that hotel? Some people just don't know how to deal with a bunch of urine soaked clothes.
I don't understand why this comment was downvoted.
Unlike you and That One, I'm not capable of allowing my brain to regress to the functionality of a moron's in order to enjoy a movie. I haven't seen this movie, so I have no opinion of it, but that sentiment always bugs me. "My expectations were such and such... I let everything go and enjoyed the movie for what it was..." I don't get it. A movie is either good or bad. Or a guilty pleasure or something, I don't know. The point is I'm not going to tweak my brain state while watching a movie in order to enjoy it. I don't event think that's possible. If I like it I will like it on it's merits, and I will defend it as such. I took a lot of flak last year when I declared to the world my love for Avatar. I defended it big time. Now, after seeing it on cable, I realize that my real love was for the 3d Imax theater which I'd never experienced before. Does 3d Imax make you dumber or something?
I know you already know this, but I'm going to say it anyway. Gabe's use of question marks is meant to really lay on the sarcasm thick. But, yes, he overuses them and it's sort of lazy writing.
I don't understand why Gabe responded to this comment. Mostly because I don't understand it. What does "not shit, dude" mean? This comment is a poorly written pile of shit. But, by all means, take it very seriously, Gabe!
Sort of looks like you care... what with all the replying to yourselfs.
I live for comments like this.
I was disappointed that this wasn't a bit more fleshed out, but it's a funny idea.
I thought that sketch fell flat, which sucks because I'm a big Mozart fan. I really think it would have been much better if when Salieri had come out he'd made fun of Mozart's acting abilities with everyone else before taking him aside and whispering intensely in his ear, "You are the greatest actor known to me..." That would have been funny and, importantly, made sense. Also, Mozart should have acted something out instead of just telling people about how he's an actor. The whole thing just sort of came off like a Justin Timberlake ego trip or something.
Steven Tyler's penis sounds a little too big, if you ask me. Who wants that? I'll just stick with my comically small penis, thank you very much.
Well, that pic doesn't prove anything. My cat looks just the same way when it opens its mouth and dives toward me about to sink its teeth into my flesh. Are you saying that cats aren't good pets, too? Stop ruining the otter video for everyone!
That laser-carved wood bank pays almost as much interest as my Chase savings account.
"No more!... No more!" Aaannnd... let the sexual repression begin.
Yes, because in life assholes never get ahead. Or get hot girls.
Well, then stop rubbing your balls against the computer screen.
Okay, here's my rebuttal: Dogs smell like shit.
You probably also don't have to wash your hands after you pet your cats.
What you've said here makes no sense.
I thought the trailer to 300 was terrible, and the movie was probably terrible.
Maybe the context he was referring to was the context in which his wife acts like a total cunt? Which may be the way she normally acts? We don't know, because we've only been exposed the artificial context she created by recording a seemingly private conversation. In all seriousness, he sounded like a fucked up, drunk asshole to me too. I just highly suspect his wife is not the demure angel she made herself out to be in those tapes.
Mel Gibson: "You can't put the barfpaste back in the barf tube."
Nope. The whole thing about the Planet of The Apes is that there's an alternate reality where apes are just like people, have people jobs, and one of them was an ape version of Abraham Lincoln.
She's definitely referring to a high school called Collegiate. I know this because I went to Saint Ann's School in Brooklyn Heights and used to play basketball games against them. They had a really good team, as I recall. In other words, I guess you could say I knew Gwyneth Paltrow personally.
One of my secret fears is bothering people in a movie theater by chewing popcorn too loud. I always close my mouth, but I don't know.... It always sounds so loud inside my head.
His monologue was terrible, and how many times did he touch his crotch with his hands? Was he pulling off some gag for his friends? "Wouldn't it be funny if I overtly massage my crotch several times on SNL!?" The guy is creepy and his face is annoying.
The best way to exercise your face is to frown. All the time. Remember, it takes about 850 face muscles to frown, but only 3 or so measly face muscles to smile.
I really wish I'd seen this post when it was still topical. I'm going to comment anyway. I've never wanted to fuck Tina Fey. I've also never thought she was funny. Do you think that if I wanted to fuck her, I'd think she was funny? Am I to believe that every man who thinks she's funny now, is just biding his time to not laugh at her hilarious antics when she gets older/unfuckable?... so they can laugh at all the "funny" shit that young, hot, sexy women are always saying? There are plenty of old, unfuckable women I think are funny. Just too many to name, frankly. For instance, that old lady on Keeping Up Appearances. Every time I scan my cable guide for TV shows and I see the words "Keeping up..." I get excited for a minute thinking "Oh, maybe it's 'Keeping Up Appearances'!" But then it's always 'Keeping Up With the Kardashians', and that makes me sad. The point is this: I'm perfectly capable of laughing at shit that's funny. It's an involuntary reaction. I don't care how shriveled up the vagina is of the hilarious comedienne who elicits laughter from me. Tina Fey and all you shitty feminist assholes, please climb up into the wicker man with Nicolas Cage and get burnt.