Hapsburg Hip

Comments from Hapsburg Hip

I was confused by how this commercial happened, but everything slid into place when Paul arched his back like a sexcat and sprinkled invisibility powder on himself. Folgers clearly asked Paul Stanley what he thought was cool, and then said "Fuck it. Today is your day, Mr. Stanley."
0 |
December 23, 2014 on Paul Stanley’s Awkward, Unaired Folger’s Commercial Surfaces After 14 Years
My two rock crushes in a relationship? I'm trying to picture it, but it's like gazing directly into the sun. My mother always said I'd go blind this way.
+3 |
December 16, 2014 on Hear St. Vincent On Marc Maron’s WTF
Just a quick note: 5:The Gray Chapter's not really "comically titled, " since this is their first album released since the bassist and founding member, Paul Gray, passed away.
+2 |
November 1, 2014 on The Week In Pop: On Slipknot’s #1 Album And Hard Rock’s Looming Extinction
"I'm just very glad that Riff Raff is famous," is what I say at every thanksgiving. Knowing about Riff Raff is basically for me what football is to you, uncle Steve.
+16 |
August 29, 2014 on Riff Raff To Sam Smith: “Your Face Is Super Huge”
That's the blood rushing to your eyes, trying to make sense of the imagery. "Is this the 80s?" your eyes are asking, "Did Taylor Swift conquer time??"
0 |
August 20, 2014 on Taylor Swift – “Shake It Off” Video
Speaking of which, you guys, what's up with Topher Grace?
+4 |
July 30, 2014 on Watch Sad Jack White Throw Out The First Pitch At Tonight’s Tigers Game
Can we make this a recurring column? "How Does Jack White's Body Language and Facial Expression Reflect, Maybe, his Current Relationship with Baseball Today"?
+7 |
July 30, 2014 on Watch Sad Jack White Throw Out The First Pitch At Tonight’s Tigers Game
Strong contender for dirtiest-dan headline of the year.
+3 |
July 23, 2014 on Kid Rock Subpoenaed To Produce Glass Dildo As Evidence In Insane Clown Posse Lawsuit
I was watching Big Fat Quiz of the Year 2013 and decided that my crushes are Dicky Ayoade and Kristen Schaal. I don't want to have sex with them, but I should very much like to be the air separating them as they gently copulate.
+1 |
December 29, 2013 on Crushes Of 2013
Where is Carmen Sandiego: Extradition Laws and the Children Who Learned to Circumvent Them
+9 |
September 5, 2013 on Best New Party Game: Television-Inspired College Courses
I am still patiently waiting for the adaptation of R. L. Stine's classic novel Vampire Breath; if you can't handle it, please drive your rascals off a cliff, grandpas.
+3 |
August 16, 2013 on This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys
Honey, I rented a movie with an acronym for the title. What? Yes, I understand. Of course I am going to sleep on the couch tonight and I deserve this.
+3 |
August 16, 2013 on This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys
I wonder how often Killer Mike has to negotiate the peoples' disappointment in realizing he is not Moneymaker Mike. Pretty dang often, I bet.
-2 |
April 29, 2013 on Run The Jewels (El-P & Killer Mike) – “Get It”
They cut the microphones to the last guys to make more room for this Chris Rock routine???
0 |
February 26, 2012 on The 2012 Academy Awards Videogum Video Pizza Party
I'd like to see Crystal interpret GIVING UP and NO MORE JOKES.
+3 |
February 26, 2012 on The 2012 Academy Awards Videogum Video Pizza Party
WOOPS. Did not mean to reply to this.
0 |
February 26, 2012 on The 2012 Academy Awards Videogum Video Pizza Party
If he could fly, that scene in North by Northwest would have gone very differently.
0 |
February 26, 2012 on The 2012 Academy Awards Videogum Video Pizza Party
Academy Abowards because this is abowring.
+2 |
February 26, 2012 on The 2012 Academy Awards Videogum Video Pizza Party
Every time I watch Lotus Flower, I briefly wish bowlers would come back. Then desperately backpedal as I remember what happened when fedoras "came back."
0 |
February 25, 2012 on Beck Designs Sunglasses
Bunch'a Sulkeogum stars gettin' their dismiss on up in here.
+3 |
February 14, 2012 on Hear Portishead’s Geoff Barrow Sample Radiohead On New Hip-Hop LP
President for life Dwaine "The Rock Candy" Johnson
+13 |
February 8, 2012 on Ladies, It’s Time To Stop Having Men For Every Life Meal
Jonah will get his award. Melted down and poured on his head.
+4 |
January 24, 2012 on The 2012 Academy Awards Nominees
I like how they toned up the sound of Gosling's thighs as they rubbed together and chirped. It added a layer of mystery to the driver character. Why is he chirping?? He has no name???
+2 |
January 24, 2012 on The 2012 Academy Awards Nominees
GIF of the guy flapping is mouth open and shut.
+1 |
January 15, 2012 on The 2012 Golden Globes Videogum Video Pizza Party
Oh man. I'm glad I didn't go through highschool ON TELEVISED GOLDEN GLOBES.
+1 |
January 15, 2012 on The 2012 Golden Globes Videogum Video Pizza Party
I just caught myself leaning to try and see a nipple through her mesh dress front.
+1 |
January 15, 2012 on The 2012 Golden Globes Videogum Video Pizza Party
I got all excited to watch this, then realized this is just the golden globes. Wikipedia says I Oscars are next month? I don't know how I even made this mistake?? Also: feeling embarrassed for Fallon right now.
0 |
January 15, 2012 on The 2012 Golden Globes Videogum Video Pizza Party
I considered voting for a dum dum girl, but man, which one? WHO IS HOTTEST DUM DUM??
0 |
December 21, 2011 on The Gummy Awards: Your Top 20 Indie Rock Crushes Of 2011