Comments

President for life Dwaine "The Rock Candy" Johnson
Jonah will get his award. Melted down and poured on his head.
I like how they toned up the sound of Gosling's thighs as they rubbed together and chirped. It added a layer of mystery to the driver character. Why is he chirping?? He has no name???
GIF of the guy flapping is mouth open and shut.
Oh man. I'm glad I didn't go through highschool ON TELEVISED GOLDEN GLOBES.
I just caught myself leaning to try and see a nipple through her mesh dress front.
I got all excited to watch this, then realized this is just the golden globes. Wikipedia says I Oscars are next month? I don't know how I even made this mistake?? Also: feeling embarrassed for Fallon right now.
I considered voting for a dum dum girl, but man, which one? WHO IS HOTTEST DUM DUM??
I was covered in cords of mucus and tears by the end of Dancer in the Dark and I did not even care. (Runner up is The Wind That Shakes the Barley? Maybe?)
I thought Can was spelled all caps, but wikipedia says "no it is not" so I guess Chris Taylor is not tipping hats at Can? If the hats aren't being tipped at Can, WHERE ARE THEY TIPPING??
I am pretty sure I am a big ol' mutated X man because I have never cleaned a urine channel, but you guys, I AM GREAT AT PEEING. I AM SO GREAT AT IT.
Can we shuffle adult baby into the cast of Jersey Shore? I think he would be a real asset to drama and a great fit for a show about the adult babies of New Jersey.
I park next to every red 96 ford taurus and never fail to offer blood pacts to make it official. Why am I still so lonely?
I'm Iowan (It's a mixed-bag of a state but let's REALLY get into the debate on Iowa's value sometime soon, you guys!), and I remember this ad from the last election. I recall commenting on how offensive it was. Dad said "Yeah. Pretty much." and mom responded "BUT CHINA WILL OWN US." It's xenophobia angle apparently worked because we traded in our chronically worthless democratic gov for an actively harmful republican one. SHRUG.
Who else is excited for Soft Gabe being played by Timberlake??
It will TAKE ADVANTAGE OF america's MINOR infatuation with juStin bieber.
I always pronounce your friend's name Miiiiiiiiiiiiiike Snow.
You know how we all assumed that it is cute when a cute girl farts? We have never been right about that, right you guys? Why is it cute when a cute cat farts? Science hats on, everyone.
My subconscious has legs like Silvester Stallone's forearms. I'm not sure this is the kind of thing I want my friends to know about? She is a magazine under the mattress of my brain. Metaphorically I think. This is a confusing time for me?
For two years, I imagined Terry Gross was a sexy thirty-something Carrie Mulligan based on her voice. I hate to open wizard curtains, but that just is not true my friends.
When I begin my career and become a professional gang member, this will be child I hire to dance on my drug table to impress my gang member associates and rivals(?).
This is the second most popular prison tattoo behind spiderweb necks.
Everybody has that awkward phase before their comedy career takes off where they dress like Aladdin.
Ruby dancing is a plausible enough explanation for why ANYTHING EVER was made.
These are cakes are different enough that I'm confident in my ability to both have and eat.